by Sandi Lynn
The next morning, my alarm went off at five a.m. I’d kept the alarm on vibrate and kept it under my pillow, so it didn’t wake Ella. I threw the covers back. Instead of changing into my pajamas last night, I changed into different clothes, so I could quickly leave. Pulling a black knit hat over my head, I put on my boots and my coat. Leaning over the pack n’ play, my eyes swelled with tears as I stared down at Ella.
“I love you, sweet girl. Never forget that.”
Closing my eyes for a moment, I inhaled a sharp breath, grabbed my suitcase and quietly left via the service entrance so the ding of the elevator didn’t wake Julian up. My heart was breaking, but I knew this was what was best for both of them.
Chapter 12
Julian
I awoke to the screaming cries of Ella. I lay there and waited for Georgia to make it stop. But Ella kept crying. Frustrated, I looked at the clock and it was seven a.m. Throwing back the covers, I went to Georgia’s room and opened the door. The first thing I noticed was that her bed was made.
“Shh…shh..it’s okay, Ella,” I said as I placed my hand on her belly.
I looked around the room, opened the closet doors and saw that her suitcase was gone. Frantically, I started opening all the dresser drawers only to find them filled with nothing but Ella’s clothes. Running into the bathroom, all of Georgia’s personal stuff was gone. Maybe this was a nightmare. It had to be. She wouldn’t have just left Ella like that. I kept thinking over and over how I had to wake up, but I was already up. Ella continued to scream, and I didn’t know what to do. So I reached down and picked her up, held her against me and lightly bounced her up and down like Georgia did. Her cries soften and before too long, she had completely stopped.
“There you go. It’s okay. I think you need a diaper change,” I said as I could feel the heaviness through her sleeper.
I grabbed a diaper from the package and laid Ella down on the bed. She smiled as she kicked her little legs and brought her hand to her mouth. I changed her diaper and put it on right this time because I’d watched Georgia do it so much. Picking her up from the bed, I headed downstairs and looked around. I looked around for Georgia, a letter, a note, anything that would tell me where she went and why. Ella started crying again and I knew she was hungry. I made her a bottle by following the instructions on the can. Taking her over to the couch, I held her as I put the bottle in her mouth. I stared straight ahead, because every time I’d glance down, she was staring at me. I didn’t want her staring at me.
“Stop staring at me, kid.”
She smiled as formula ran down her chin.
“No. You cannot smile at me. You don’t want to. Trust me.”
As soon as she was finished with her bottle, I didn’t know what to do with her, so I set her down on the blanket on the floor where her toys were.
“You be a good girl and play with your toys. I have some things I have to do.”
I threw her bottle in the sink, grabbed my phone and woke up Kevin.
“Dude, do you know what time it is?” he sleepily answered.
“I need you to come over.”
“Why? What happened?”
“Georgia is gone.”
“What? What do you mean she’s gone? Did she take the baby?”
“No. She left the baby here.”
“I’ll be over as soon as I can.”
I could hear Ella crying in the next room. When I went to check on her, she seemed fine. She had her toys, so I didn’t know what her problem was.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
Then it hit me. Georgia always fed her breakfast around this time of the morning.
“I suppose your bottle wasn’t good enough for you. You want a proper breakfast?” I asked her as I scooped her up from the floor.
I put her in her highchair, and she instantly stopped. She knew that meant she was getting real food. She was a smart little girl.
I took the box of baby cereal down and read the instructions. After mixing it, I remembered Georgia also fed her a jar of fruit with it. Opening the cabinet where the jars of baby food were lined up, I grabbed a jar of bananas.
I brought the highchair closer to the table and began feeding her.
“There you go. Much better than that bottle you drink, right?”
She squealed as her little arms flailed. She turned her head and looked out the window at the city view as I tried shoving the spoon in her mouth.
“You like what you see out there?” I asked. “Let me give you a better view.”
I turned the highchair so she could see the city better, and I switched seats so I could feed her while she stared out the window.
“Pretty cool, huh? I like it too,” I said as I fed her a spoonful of bananas.
I heard the elevator ding. Jumping up from my seat, I had hoped it was Georgia.
“Hey, man,” Kevin said. “What the hell is going on?”
“Hey. I thought maybe you were Georgia.”
I walked back to the kitchen, and he followed behind.
“So she just up and left?” he asked. “Hey there, pretty girl.”
“Yeah. I woke up this morning to Ella screaming her head off and when I went into the bedroom, all of Georgia’s things were gone. She’s gone, Kevin. She left us.”
“Have you tried calling her?”
“Of course. About a hundred times. It just goes straight to voicemail.”
“What happened yesterday when you got home?”
“I yelled about the Christmas decorations, she left with the baby, and I fell asleep on the couch. When she came home, I told her I wasn’t fit to be a father and that Ella would be better off with a couple who could give her what I couldn’t.”
“Jesus, Julian.”
“She told me she wanted to raise her as her own. I said some things I shouldn’t have, and then I told her I’d think about it. When I woke up, she was gone.”
“Bro, I don’t know what to say right now. So what are you going to do? Go to target and pick up another woman to be Ella’s nanny?”
“Very funny.” I narrowed my eye at him. “The social worker is coming here in a few days. I’m going to tell her that Ella would be better off somewhere else, but she stays with me until adoptive parents are found and I get to meet them. I won’t have her put into the system. Not after everything we went through.”
“If that’s how you really feel.”
“Look.” I gave Kevin a small smile. “She loves to look out at the city.”
“I can see that. I think she likes it here, man.”
“She’s only six months old. She’ll like anywhere she goes.”
“Right. I have some errands to run. I can come back later, and we can watch the game. It starts at four.”
“Sure. We can order a pizza,” I said as I walked him to the elevator.
“Sounds good. I’ll see you later.”
I walked back into the kitchen and Ella was still staring out the window. I tried to feed her some more, but she wouldn’t eat. So I wiped her hands and face and took her from her highchair.
“Let’s get you changed into some clothes and then I have to take a shower.”
Georgia
I was worried sick as I paced back and forth across the room. A million scenarios flipped through my mind about everything that could go wrong. I heard the door open, and when I turned around Kevin walked in.
“Well, how is she? How did it go?”
“She’s fine. When I got there, she was in her highchair and Julian was feeding her.”
“Feeding her what?”
“I don’t know. Stuff in a bowl and out of a baby jar. He said she liked to look out the window, so he had the highchair turned so she could see the city.”
“Aw, really?”
“Yeah. I’m going over there later to watch the football game, so I’ll be able to get a better feel for how he’s doing with her. I think your plan may work, Georgia.”
“It has to. I know the more
time he spends with her alone, he’ll see that he needs his daughter as much as she needs him.”
“I hope you’re right.” He sighed.
“By the way, thanks again for letting me stay here. I know this puts you in a predicament with Julian.”
“You’re welcome. And don’t you worry about that. I can handle Julian.”
Chapter 13
Julian
After I changed Ella into some clothes, I held her up in front of me.
“Now what do I do with you while I’m in the shower? How about you take a nap,” I said as I laid her down in her pack n’ play.
She seemed fine with it, so I walked out of the room. I wasn’t halfway down the hall when she started to scream. Turning around, I went back into the room, and the moment she saw me, she stopped crying.
“Listen, kid. I have to take a shower, so you’re going to have to stay in here because it’s safer that way,” I said as I handed her a rattle that was in the shape of a bunny.
The moment I walked out of the room, she started screaming again.
“Fine. You don’t want to be in here. I get it. I wouldn’t want to be stuck in there either, but I have to take a shower,” I said as I picked her up.
Glancing over at the corner, I saw a mat with arches above it and toys hanging down. Grabbing it, I took it to my bedroom and laid it on the floor by the master bath. Setting her underneath it, I squeezed a couple of the toys and they lit up and played music.
“Wow. Look at that. Now you be a good girl. I’ll only be a few minutes.”
I’d never taken such a fast shower in my life. When I finished, I wrapped a towel around my waist and stood over her. She was smiling and kicking her feet at the toys.
“That’s pretty fun, isn’t it?”
I threw on a pair of sweatpants because I had to shave before getting dressed for the day. Stepping into the bathroom, I took out my razor and shaving cream. Just as I was about to lather my face, Ella started crying.
“Come on, kid. Give me a break.” I sighed.
I thought maybe if I ignored her, she would stop. But she didn’t. So I went over, picked her up and took her into the bathroom with me. I noticed she was staring at herself in the mirror, so I set her on the counter facing the mirror and locked her in with my body while I shaved. She stared up at me as I lathered my face with shaving cream and let out a tiny laugh.
“You think I look funny?”
She grabbed my razor, and I immediately took it from her.
“No, no, Ella. That’ll cut you.”
I began shaving my face while I kept her propped up on the counter. She stared at me through the mirror and then she would look up at me as she would reach her hand up and keep it placed on my arm. When I finished, I leaned down and placed my face against hers.
“Well, what do you think?”
I was exhausted, and it was only three o’clock. I gave Ella her bottle, and as soon as she was sound asleep, I carefully took her upstairs and laid her down. Grabbing the baby monitor, I went down to my office to check my emails. I couldn’t stop thinking about Georgia. Picking up my phone, I dialed her number and yet again, it went straight to voicemail. What did I expect? Actually, after our conversation last night, I didn’t expect her to walk out on us.
After I checked my email, I heard the elevator ding, so I walked into the foyer and Kevin stepped out with a six-pack of beer in his hands.
“Brought the beer, bro.” He grinned.
“We need to keep it down. Ella is taking a nap.”
“Oh. Sorry. So, how are things going?” he asked as he followed me into the kitchen and set the beer on the island.
“Okay, I guess. I will say I have a new respect for women who have kids. It’s tiring, man.”
“Dude, you’ve only been doing it for nine hours.” He laughed.
“Nine hours is long enough.” I handed him a beer. “Let’s go relax and watch the game.”
Just as the game started, I heard Ella making noises through the baby monitor.
“Sounds like she’s waking up,” Kevin said.
“Hopefully she’ll go back to sleep.”
Just as I said that, she began to cry.
“Yeah. I don’t think she’s going back to sleep.” A smirk crossed Kevin’s lips.
“Fuck.” I shook my head as I got up from the couch and went upstairs.
The moment she saw me, she stopped and began kicking her legs and making all kinds of cooing sounds.
“Listen, kid,” I said as I picked her up. “There’s a very important game on right now that I need to watch. So I need you to be a good girl for me.”
I grabbed a diaper and took it downstairs. Laying her on the couch, I changed her diaper.
“Do you really have to do that here?” Kevin asked.
“Yes. Actually, I do. I’m trying to watch the game.”
After her diaper was secure, I put her in the activity seat Georgia bought her.
“Now be a good girl while I watch the game.”
That lasted for all of five minutes before she started crying again.
“Is she hungry?” Kevin asked.
“She just had a bottle before she went to sleep, and she didn’t sleep that long. I don’t know what her problem is,” I said as I walked over and picked her up.
The moment she was in my arms, she stopped crying.
“I guess she just wants to be held,” Kevin spoke.
“Then you hold her.” I passed her to him.
The second he took her, she started to cry.
“She doesn’t want me, man.” He handed her back to me and instantly she stopped. “She only wants you.”
I sighed as I set her in my lap while we watched the game, and she stayed quiet at least until half time. While we were eating our pizza and I was feeding Ella carrots and pears, my phone rang with a number I didn’t recognize.
“Julian Cambridge,” I answered.
“Mr. Cambridge, this is Jan Connors. I’m calling to let you know I will be stopping by your home tomorrow afternoon to check on Ella and to discuss any further concerns you may have.”
“Excellent, Ms. Connors. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
After ending the call, I set my phone down and continued feeding Ella.
“Isn’t that Connors woman the social worker?” Kevin asked.
“Yeah. She’s coming by the penthouse tomorrow to check on Ella and discuss some things, so I’ll be working from home.”
“I hope you know what you’re doing,” he said as he finished his pizza. “By the way, I meant to tell you earlier that Georgia did a fantastic job decorating this place for Christmas.”
“She had no right. You know how I feel about that.”
“I’m sure she did it for Ella.”
“Well, it’s all coming down the second I get a chance.”
I brought the pack n’ play into my room and laid Ella down for the night. She went down peacefully and I was grateful. I poured myself a scotch and walked around the penthouse, looking at the decorations Georgia put up. Memories of my childhood came flooding to my mind. I hated Christmas, and I had my reasons why I felt the way I did. Reasons I’d told no one about, including Kevin. I went up to my room and climbed in bed. I couldn’t stop thinking about Georgia. I wondered where she went and if she was okay. I hated to admit to myself that I missed her being around. Closing my eyes, I fell asleep. I heard Ella making sounds in her bed, so I opened them and looked at the clock. It was seven a.m.
I took her from her pack n’ play and set her on the bed with me.
“I’m very proud of you for sleeping all night,” I said, and she smiled at me.
She began making all kinds of noises, as if she was trying to hold a conversation with me.
I changed her diaper, took her downstairs, fed her a bottle and some cereal with fruit and then took a shower. After getting dressed, I took her into the other room and grabbed some clothes for her.
“You need to look your best
when Ms. Connors comes for a visit today,” I said as I took her sleeper off.
She let out a happy sound as she kicked her legs and brought her fist up to her mouth. I saw something on her bottom gum, so I took her hand away and gently pulled down her bottom lip. Running my finger over her gum, I felt the top of a tooth sticking up.
“Look at that. You’re getting a tooth.” I couldn’t help but smile. “And the one next to it looks like it’s going to come through.”
Chapter 14
“You have a beautiful home, Mr. Cambridge.”
“Thank you, Ms. Connors. Please, have a seat.” I gestured to the couch as we walked into the living room.
Ella was in her activity chair making all kinds of cheerful noises.
“She looks happy,” Ms. Connors spoke.
“She does seem to be a happy baby.”
“Maybe that’s because she knows you’re her father and you’ll take good care of her.”
“I can’t take care of her the way she needs to be, Ms. Connors. May I get you some coffee?”
“That would be nice. Thank you.”
I got up from my chair and went into the kitchen. When I turned around, Ms. Connors walked in holding Ella.
“You’ve decorated for Christmas. It looks very nice.”
“I didn’t do it. The woman I hired to take care of Ella did,” I said as I poured some coffee into a cup.
“And where is she now? I’d like to meet her.”
Ella started to fuss and held her arms out as if she wanted me to take her.
“She quit.” I said as I set the coffee cup down on the island and took her from Ms. Connors.
“Why?” she asked as she picked up her coffee.
“I honestly don’t know.”
“You haven’t found a replacement yet for her?”