by Sandi Lynn
“I would.” I looked down.
“Then it’s settled. You’re staying the night. Now, I’m starving. Have you eaten?”
“Not since lunch.”
“How about that Korean place on the corner? I can call in an order for delivery.”
“That sounds good.” I gave him a small smile.
“Korean it is. I’ll go call in the order. Meanwhile, I’m sure you need a glass of wine. Help yourself.”
Julian walked out of the kitchen and I stood there biting down on my lower lip, unsure of what I’d just agreed to. I grabbed the bottle of wine and poured some into a wine glass. Taking it to the living room, I sat down in the leather recliner by the fireplace. The warmth radiating from it felt good.
“The food will be here in about thirty minutes,” Julian spoke as he walked over to the bar and poured himself a scotch.
“I see you bought Ella a jumper.”
“Ah. I did. She loves it. I watched a few YouTube videos about six-month-old’s, and all the babies on there seemed to love it, so I figured Ella would.”
“That’s great.” I took a sip of wine. “You still have the Christmas decorations up, I see.”
“Yeah. Ella likes them, especially when everything is lit up. Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure,” I spoke as I brought the glass up to my lips.
“What made you decide to come to New York in the first place?”
“Honestly? Christmas.”
“I don’t understand?” he said as he took a seat on the couch.
“I wanted to see Christmas in New York. Carriage rides through the snow in Central Park, ice skating at Rockefeller Center, a Christmas show at Radio City Music Hall, the Rockefeller Christmas tree, all the window Christmas displays in the shops on 5th Avenue, and just the overall decorations throughout the city.”
The penthouse phone rang, and Julian excused himself to go answer it.
“Foods here,” he said as he walked to the foyer.
I got up from the couch and went into the kitchen to set the table.
“Man, this smells so good,” he said as he set the bag on the island.
Just as we both sat down at the table, we heard Ella let out a cry.
“I’ll go—”
“Wait.” Julian held his finger up as we both listened and didn’t hear another sound. “It’s all good. She went back to sleep.”
I gave him a smile as we both dug into our food.
“Now, back to our discussion. Where were you going off to earlier?”
“Minneapolis.”
“Minnesota? Why?” His brows furrowed. “What the hell is in Minnesota?”
“I guess I’ll find out when I get there.”
“I’ve been to Minnesota. You won’t like it.”
“Is that so?” I smiled.
“Yes. It is so.” He let out a chuckle. “If I were you, I’d stick with somewhere warm right now.”
“I’ll take that under advisement.”
“But seriously, Georgia, you need to stop running,” he spoke with seriousness.
“I’m not running, Julian.”
“Yes, you are.”
“And what do you suppose I’m running from?” I asked as I took a sip of my wine.
Chapter 17
Julian
I stared at her from across the table. I knew what she was running from. It was the same thing I’d spent years running from: myself. My anger, my inability to become involved with anyone, and the constant turmoil that lived inside me every day fueling the need to escape the past.
“You need to figure that out for yourself because what you’re running from is inside you and it keeps you moving. And you’re terrified if you stop, it’ll catch up to you.”
“Wow. You never told me you had a PhD in Psychology.” A smirk crossed her lips.
I let out a chuckle as I picked up my drink and finished it.
“You don’t need a PhD when you see someone who is exactly like you.”
She picked up her plate and took it over to the sink. She was a smart girl, and she knew exactly what I was talking about.
“I’m sorry if I upset you,” I said as I grabbed my plate and headed to the sink.
“You didn’t.” She wiped her eye.
My hands gripped her shoulders from behind.
“No more lies, Georgia. I’ve already forgiven you for leaving and lying about it.”
“I appreciate that, Julian. If it’s okay, I’m going to head up to bed now. I have a feeling it’s going to be a long night with Ella.”
“You’re probably right. Sleep well, Georgia.” My grip tightened on her shoulders.
“You too, Julian,” she spoke as she walked away.
I went upstairs, changed into my pajama bottoms, sat on the edge of the bed and stared at my daughter who was sleeping peacefully. Hearing her scream the way she did earlier and seeing the reading on the thermometer, scared the shit out of me. I hadn’t been so scared in my entire life as I was at that moment. The worry inside me grew rampant, as it still did at this very moment. It made me wonder if my mother felt the same way when she gave me up. The moment I climbed in bed and pulled the covers over me, Ella started to cry. I silently smiled to myself because now I got to hold and cuddle her.
Georgia
It was eight o’clock when my eyes flew open and I looked at the clock. I couldn’t believe I’d slept that late. Jumping out of bed, I went downstairs to check on Ella. The problem was, when I got there, it was quiet. It was apparent she and Julian hadn’t gotten up yet. My mind started racing with horrific scenarios. What if she stopped breathing in the middle of the night and Julian hadn’t realized it yet? Racing up the stairs, I slowly opened his bedroom door and let out a deep breath when I saw him reclined back in the chair with Ella sleeping on his chest. He opened his eyes and looked at me.
“Sorry. I was worried,” I whispered.
“It’s okay. What time is it?”
“Eight o’clock.”
Grabbing the thermometer, I gently stuck it in Ella’s ear. She stirred and lifted her head just as the thermometer beeped.
“101.8,” I spoke as I showed Julian. “Hey there, sweet girl.” I kissed her head as I softly rubbed her back.
“Good morning, princess.” Julian smiled. “Can you take her?”
“Of course.”
I picked Ella up and held her on my hip.
“Let’s change your diaper and get you a bottle.” I smiled at her as she grabbed my face.
“I need to call a doctor. I know a pediatrician whose office is a couple blocks over. My company set up her whole computer system and software when she took over the practice.”
“Okay. I’ll get her changed and fed.”
As I began to walk out of the room, Julian called my name.
“Georgia?”
“Yeah?” I stopped and turned around.
“Will you go with us?”
“Of course.” My lips formed a small smile.
We took Ella to see Dr. Judith Rothchild. She graciously told us to come right in when Julian called. As he was filling out the paperwork, I was playing peek-a-boo with Ella to keep her from crying.
“Ella has a double ear infection,” Dr. Rothchild said. “I’m going to prescribe an antibiotic and she’s to be on it for 14 days. I want to see her back for a recheck as well once she finishes the medication.”
“Thank you, Dr. Rothchild. I was so worried.”
“You’re welcome, Mr. Cambridge. It was good to see you again,” she spoke in a flirtatious manner.
“And you as well,” I spoke as I gave her a nod.
“Have a good day and make sure Ella gets plenty of fluids.”
As we walked out of the building, I nudge Julian’s shoulder.
“What?” He smiled as he glanced over at me.
“She was totally flirting with you.”
“Yeah, well, it wouldn’t be the first time.” He gave me a wink.
; We took Ella home and Julian ran to the pharmacy to get her medication filled. When he got home, I had already fed her lunch, so we gave her the first dose of medicine. She took it like a champion, and she seemed to like it.
“You are such a good girl,” Julian said as he took her out of her highchair. “I’m going to lay her down for a nap.”
“Okay. Have a nice nap, sweetheart.” I kissed her forehead.
While Julian was putting Ella down, I went upstairs and grabbed my suitcase.
“What are you doing?” Julian asked as he walked down the stairs and saw me set my suitcase in the foyer.
“I think my time here is up. I need to get to the bus station.”
“Why? Why do you have to leave already?”
“Because I just do, Julian. Ella is on the mend and—”
“And what, Georgia?”
“And it’s time I go.”
“That’s not a good enough explanation for me. I want you to stay. I’m rehiring you as Ella’s nanny.”
I gave him a small smile as I walked over to him and placed my hand on his cheek.
“I’m honored, Julian. I really am. But it’s time for me to go. There’s an entire world out there waiting for me to discover it.” I softly kissed his cheek, turned and grabbed the handle of my suitcase.
“Damn it, Georgia. In case you haven’t figured it out yet, you’re running from yourself and it needs to stop!” he shouted, and I stopped.
“Honestly, Julian. Please, just stop.”
I could hear his footsteps moving closer. “You’re a scared little girl who’s trapped inside an adult body. You’re running from your past, thinking too much of the future and never giving your present a fighting chance. Just when things start to feel comfortable you bolt, because you don’t want things to be comfortable. You fear comfortable.”
“That is not true.” I turned and looked at him.
“It damn well is true, and the sooner you admit it to yourself, the sooner you can start living a normal life. I know how you feel. Maybe if the people whose homes we lived in adopted us as their own, we wouldn’t have this need to find where we belong in this world. Because their adoption would have validated to us that we belonged there. But it didn’t happen that way. You travel from one city to the next looking for that validation, and maybe for a second you feel it, then you get scared and it never ends up being enough. There’s always a reluctant excuse why you can’t stay in one place and feel the need to move on.”
Tears fill my eyes.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I spoke in a soft voice even though every word he spoke was true. “You don’t know me.”
“I do know you, Georgia. I am you, and I’ve been you.” His voice was soft and filled with pain. “Why do you think I rejected Ella when she first came to me? Why do you think I don’t get involved in relationships? Because belonging to someone scared the fuck out of me. I’ve never belonged to anyone. My own mother didn’t want me and gave me up when I was five years old. The family I lived with for two years were in the process of adopting me. They already had one child and were told she couldn’t get pregnant again. But then she did, with twins. And she and her husband decided that four children were one too many. So they sent me back into the system. I became full of rage and a problem child after that. I made sure nobody would want me ever again just so I didn’t have to feel that pain of rejection. That’s the first thing I thought of when I first laid eyes on Ella. That she would reject me as her father. I was too afraid to open myself up to that little girl. But you changed that for me. You made me see what a mistake I was making and what a horrible person I’d become. When the social worker was here and picked Ella up and told me to get her things packed because she was taking her, I felt this uncontrollable rage inside. My heart physically ached at the thought and the only thing I could think of at that moment was I needed to protect my daughter, my very own flesh and blood. I made a promise to that little girl that day that I would never leave her as long I was alive.” He inched himself closer and lightly wrapped his hands around my arms. “You belong here, Georgia. Find that part of you inside and stop running.”
I swallowed hard as a tear fell down my cheek. Bringing my finger up, I gently wiped it away and nodded my head.
He let out a sigh of relief.
“Let’s start over. Shall we?”
“What do you mean?”
“Hi, I’m Julian Cambridge and I would like to offer you a job taking care of my six-month-old daughter.” He extended his hand with a smile.
I dropped my head for a moment as I let out a light laugh.
“Hi, I’m Georgia Beckham and I would love to take care of your daughter.” I smiled as I stared into his eyes and placed my hand in his.
“It’s nice to meet you, Georgia Beckham. You wouldn’t by any chance be related to David Beckham, the professional soccer player, would you?”
“I’m not sure. Maybe.” I grinned.
Chapter 18
Julian
“Now that you’re on board, the first thing we need to do is buy a Christmas tree.”
“Really?” Georgia grinned.
“Of course. It’s going to be big with beautiful lights and filled with ornaments. But it has to be artificial.”
“Why?” She cocked her head.
“I’ll tell you that story another time. I’m going to give my temporary secretary, Jane, a call and see if she can stay with Ella while we go out. But I want to wait until she wakes up.”
“Of course. If you don’t mind, I’m going to clean this place up a bit,” she said.
“Be my guest. I’ll go in my office and get some work done. Plus, there’s another phone call I need to make.”
I went into my office, took a seat behind my desk and picked up my phone. I’d barely talked to Kevin since that night and honestly, I missed him and his friendship.
“Hello, Julian. Calling to yell about something?” he answered.
“No, Kevin. Ella is sick. I had to take her to the doctor this morning.”
“Gee, man. I’m sorry to hear that. What’s wrong with her?”
“She has a double ear infection.”
“Ouch. You must have had a tough night.”
“It wasn’t that bad. Listen, why don’t you come over after work? I want to talk to you.”
“Sure, man. I’ll be there around seven.”
“Thanks, Kevin. I’ll see you then.”
After I ended the call, I dialed my office.
“Cambridge International. Mr. Cambridge’s office. How can I help you?”
“Jane. It’s Mr. Cambridge.”
“Oh. Hello, Mr. Cambridge.”
“I need you to leave the office and come to my penthouse. I have an errand to run, and I need you to look after Ella for me. Plus, there’s something else I need to talk to you about.”
“Okay. I was just leaving for my lunch break. I’ll head over now.”
“Take your lunch first. I’ll see you in about an hour. You’ll find my address in the Rolodex on your desk.”
“Great. I’ll see you soon, Mr. Cambridge.”
I got up from my desk and walked into the kitchen where I stood and watched Georgia washing out bottles. I was happy she agreed to stay. Not only for Ella, but for me. I felt the attraction to her the moment I saw her holding Ella in Target, and even more so after we made love. I didn’t want to admit that I needed her. Telling her my story was easier than I thought it would be. I’d never told anyone before about my mother giving me up when I was five and the other family giving me back. I was ashamed and thought something was wrong with me. But telling Georgia felt natural. I wanted her to know because I want her to know the real me, all of me. And I hoped in time, she’d let me in, and I could get to know the real her. I was falling for her. For the first time in my life, I’d let someone knock down the wall I’d put up around my heart. I didn’t intentionally let it happen. It just naturally did, and that right there to
ld me she was someone truly special and worthy to be a part of mine and my daughter’s life.
“Jane will be here in about an hour and then we can head out as long as Ella’s up.”
Suddenly, we heard Ella cooing and making all kinds of sounds over the baby monitor.
“I don’t think we’ll have to worry about that.” Georgia smiled.
I went upstairs, picked Ella up from her bed, changed her diaper and called Georgia up.
“Yes.” She smiled as she looked at me and then kissed Ella’s forehead.
“Follow me,” I said as I led her to one of the other guestrooms and opened the door. “I’ve decided this is going to be Ella’s bedroom. I’ve already had the furniture cleared out, and I was hoping you would help decorate it. I honestly don’t know the first thing about baby furniture.”
“I really don’t either.” She laughed.
“Oh. Well, I guess we can learn together. What do you say?”
“I say let’s do it.” She grinned.
“Did you hear that, Ella? We’re going to make your room fit for a princess, and we shall spare no expense to make it perfect.” I kissed her cheek and she let out a screech.
As soon as Jane arrived, Georgia and I took off in search of the perfect Christmas tree. We ended up at a shop in Greenwich Village called Birch’s Christmas Shoppe. It was an elegant and high-end shop with all kinds of different trees in a variety of sizes and Christmas décor galore. I didn’t think I’d ever been in a Christmas shop as large before. As Georgia was admiring a tree, I spotted a stocking display.
“Georgia, over here. Look at these.”
“Aw, those are beautiful.”
“We embroider them while you shop.” The young girl behind the counter smiled.
“I will definitely need to get one for Ella. Which one do you like?” I asked her.
“That white one with the small snowflakes made of crystals is pretty.”
“I had my eye on that one too.”
“Those are all handmade with Swarovski crystals.”
“I’ll take three of them.”
“Three?” Georgia glanced over at me.
“There’s three of us in the house, isn’t there?” I gave her a wink and watched as the corners of her mouth curved upward into a beautiful smile. “I’d like the names embroidered in silver.”