“Only the curiosity is pent-up. Not, you know...the actual stuff.”
Oh. Oh. She wanted to facepalm, when she realized what she’d said, what it had sounded like. “No, I know you’ve...released your stuff. I mean I have, too, obviously. So to speak. Not recently, but last year there was that guy, Rob, from Cupertino. And—”
“Hey, we so don’t need to go into those specifics right now.”
She felt the blush rise on her cheeks, and was grateful that the firelight probably masked it. “Well. Don’t we, though? I mean, if we’re planning to—”
“Oh, wow. Are we planning to—tonight?”
“Well...yes. I thought that was what we were leading up to here.” Did that make her a big slutball? Did she care? It was a short vacation. If they were going to ruin everything, they might as well make the most of it while they could. And it wasn’t as though either of them was a virgin, not by a long shot. She knew what she needed, and knew Alan could provide it. Then they could go on as they had before. Just like after they’d kissed.
“That’s a really good plan. Great plan.”
It was Julie’s turn to laugh. “I can see you mentally switching out your playbooks. Like, I can actually see the gears shifting in there.”
“Those aren’t gears. I’m just happy to see you.”
She started to groan at the terrible line, but the sound trailed off into something else when Alan pulled her closer again, pressing her hips against his. He was very happy to see her. It was hard to keep her mind on anything remotely practical. “So do you have any bad specifics I ought to know about?”
“Not really,” he said, looking up into space as though he had to think about it. “I had crabs one time in college. That’s about it. I got tested for stuff a few months ago, when I found out that Mallory had already hit another three stops on her whirlwind company tour, since leaving my personal station.”
“She does travel fast. Like a virus.” Their coworker Mallory hit all the stops, but she never stayed with any one conquest for long. Alan had been the first at their company after her arrival, though, so he hadn’t known. Sorry
“Hater.”
“No, I’m not,” Julie protested. “I like her, as a matter of fact. We have lunch sometimes. She’s one of those people who can magically get away with it, you know? A free spirit. It’s why she’s still sort of friends with all of you even after she moves on.” Julie didn’t hate the girl, but she did envy her. A little of that same freedom was what she hoped to experience in Hawaii. Just a taste.
“Well, she’s a free spirit who doesn’t seem to have any actual viruses. Or whatever. And we always used a condom.”
Julie wished that were TMI, but she knew it was actually necessary information. “Rob was over a year ago. No nasties were left behind.”
Julie still couldn’t believe how long it had been since Rob, although the end of the relationship had been time-approximate at best. It had never been serious to begin with, and there hadn’t been a cut-and-dried breakup so much as a drifting apart. She’d been too absorbed to sustain the connection, first due to work, then because of supporting Amanda through her crisis. All her other relationships had taken a beating. Except with Alan, who had always been right there to support her in turn. Her go-to friend. Her standby plus-one for nearly all occasions.
“That’s good. I never liked him. By the way, the crabs weren’t even from having sex with anybody.”
“What?”
“In college. You know, I had that scuzzy, randomly assigned roommate my freshman year. I’ve told you about him before. Hunter. Dude was a total sleaze. Anyway, I put on his jeans instead of mine by accident one time. It was morning, I was kind of hungover and running late for an eight o’clock, so I didn’t realize they were the wrong jeans until I was sitting in class. They felt funny. And then they felt...not funny at all. Man, I never left my dirty clothes on the floor again after that.”
“Bullshit.”
“No, for real. The people at the health center didn’t believe me, either, but it’s true.”
She opened her mouth, closed it again, not sure what she’d meant to say. Finally, she came out with, “That is the grossest, saddest STD story I’ve ever heard.”
“Nah. Gross was the conversation I had later with Hunter where he went all dude-bro, and told me about how he acquired the crabs in the first place. Man, was he ever in the wrong pair of pants.”
“Um, Alan? Why are we talking about some other guy’s pubic lice right now?” It had been a romantic moment, sort of. A sexy one, anyway. Things had deteriorated at lightning speed.
Right before he answered, Julie realized why he’d been digressing. He was nervous. It was sort of adorable.
“I have no idea. I don’t want to be talking about that. I want to take you back to my room and talk about—not talk about stuff, so much.”
“Have you really wanted to—for three years? The whole time?”
“Of course I have. I just... Let’s talk about it in my room, okay?” He flexed his fingers, gripping her waist a little tighter, shifting his hips against hers. “This is suddenly way too public.”
Chapter Five
They made the trip at race-walk speed, in near silence. He kept his hand around hers, a determined and confident hold.
Alan’s cottage was the same layout as Julie and Amanda’s, but with a king-size bed instead of two queens so it looked more spacious. She took that in with one fleeting glance from the doorway, while the bulk of her attention remained on the conversation Alan had stalled out on back by the bonfire.
“So this is private, now. Spill.”
“I will, have no fear. You want anything to drink? I’ve already breached the minibar.”
“Nah, I’m good.” She stepped farther into the room and heard Alan slide the door closed behind them. Then he was standing behind her, all heat and the scent of Old Spice as he slid his arms around her waist. He pressed his lips to her hair, and it nearly killed her.
How long have I wanted that?
“You are good. You’re great. You’re beautiful, and funny, and sexy as hell. And I admit I wanted to tap that the first time I laid eyes on you. Because anyone would. But I really started like liking you about a year later, when you moved up to Development so I got to talk to you every day. That was when I figured out the funny part.” He moved his hands lower, curving them over her hips and down to her upper thighs. Stirring things up. She moved restlessly, pressing back into him, and found he was still as aroused as she was.
“It took you a year to figure out the funny part?”
His mouth on her neck made her knees start to shake. Literally shake. She’d never experienced that before, but Alan seemed to know precisely the right spot to nip to make her whole body limp with need. “No. To figure out how much I liked the funny part. Julie, I know I sort of threw this at you, on the first night and everything too. I should have worked up to it, with flirting and romance and stuff. And I know you weren’t as into that mistletoe kiss as I was. We don’t have to do anything if you—”
She whipped around and pressed her lips against his before he could finish. Wrapping her hands around his neck, she held on until all signs of protest seemed to fade from his body. He slipped a hand down to her ass and grabbed, a firm squeeze that the flimsy pareo did nothing to impede...especially once Alan untied it and pulled it down. His lips were salty from the breeze, an interesting complement to the mildly sweet poi flavor from dessert. His tongue was wicked wet fire.
A bikini was nothing at all to wear, less trouble than most lingerie to remove. Julie would have been willing to swear hers just fell off, she was so eager to lose it. And swim trunks, those really weren’t any better. Gone in an instant. Alan’s T-shirt was the most formidable obstacle, and it seemed to melt away at some point in between the moment Julie started kissing him and the moment when the back of her knees hit the edge of the bed. She fell back, giving herself up to the lust-induced weakness in her legs.
“We should put the Do Not Disturb sign up,” Alan whispered. He leaned over her, one knee propped beside her hip, one leg still braced on the floor, and all she could think of was wrapping her legs around his waist and pulling him down. Pulling him inside. His warm skin felt so perfect everywhere it touched hers, she thought that would be perfect, too. “I should also probably go dig the condoms out of my suitcase.”
“I’m on the Pill.”
“Wait, so you’re saying I can just...”
He leaned closer and let his erection drag against her pussy, grinding his hips closer as he slicked through her folds and discovered how ready she was. A tiny shift, a tilt in angle, and his thick, blunt cock pressed into her. Only a hint, before he let it slide out and away again.
“Just the tip? Really? You’re a horrible tease.”
Alan grinned, and it was such an Alan grin. Oh, that look had haunted her dreams for years. She couldn’t believe she was seeing it now, cheeky and self-assured, hovering a foot over her in real life as he replied, “A horrible tease? Feels to me like I’m being an excellent tease.”
He’d been teasing her without even realizing since shortly after they met, so she could hardly argue now that he was actually trying. He was an excellent tease, but they’d jumped ahead so fast Julie was suddenly having trouble processing it all. She was ready, but not ready. “More teasing first, okay?”
“Oh, I have more in mind, don’t worry. A whole long list of stuff.”
“Still trying to wrap my brain around this. You’re really failing if your plan was to start with flirting.”
“It’s good, though, right?” He kissed her cheekbone next to her ear, then her temple, the tip of her nose. “Like, really, really good?”
“Oh, yeah.”
She would have gone on to add “So far at least” if he hadn’t kissed her mouth before she had the chance. A slow, lingering kiss, extra-dangerous because it was as sweet as it was sexy. He put a hand up to her cheek, cupping it, stroking her skin with his thumb, and she about died from the affection. That part, that feeling, was infinitely riskier than the need between her legs. If the whole thing fizzled out after they got home, if it turned out they were only getting it out of their systems...that hand on the face, the feeling it implied, was what she’d miss and want back.
“We’ll take all the time you need.”
It was great that he offered. Because what Julie wanted was all the time. It was too much to think about, especially when her brain was inclined to do anything but think. She needed to do. She pushed Alan’s shoulder gently, urging him onto his back, and straddled his hips, surveying the situation from that higher and hopefully clearer perspective. He reached a hand up and stroked the bottom curve of one breast, thumb and fingertips splaying over the seam between soft flesh and rib cage. Not a grab, not a squeeze, just a touch. Julie shivered, nipples tingling. If he’d been less than thrilled with her bikini body, she couldn’t tell that now. His eyes were full of nothing but appreciation, ranging over her like gentle but fevered touches.
She could feel his cock pressing against her butt, still crazy hard and ready, bent slightly to his left. Did he dress it to the left? She’d never noticed. What else had she been missing, in her efforts to ignore what was right in front of her? The intent look on his face...was that new or had it been there all along? His body, neither muscle-bound nor stringy but simply fit, capable-looking, like a healthy young animal. And his hands...on her breasts, on her hips, moving in exactly the right ways. Ways she hadn’t even realized were the perfect ones until she experienced them.
“You’re gonna ruin me,” she whispered, then instantly wished she hadn’t. Too much, too soon, too definitive. They hadn’t even gotten to the big stuff. And how could Alan ruin her? He was the comfortable guy, the known quantity. Well-worn sneakers, not the killer boots you saved a month to buy because you couldn’t live without them. She wanted to be a killer boots kind of girl. But oh, those sneakers felt perfect when you slipped your tired feet into them after a day in pretty heels.
“Ruining you, yes. That’s my diabolical plan.” He slid his fingers from her rear to stroke his thumb over her clit, finding it after a minimal amount of searching. His touch wasn’t cautious, but it was careful. As in, full of care. He was thoughtful about it, studying her reactions, possibly waiting to see if she might bolt. “Distract you with mai tais and orgasms until you forget you think I’m a dork.”
“You are a dork. Oh...”
“Right there?”
“Oh God.”
“Harder? Softer?” He grinned. He knew what he was doing, and he was obviously just fucking with her because he could.
“Shut up.” Julie slapped her palm flat against his chest, then left it there, needing the support. His gaze was a heavy thing, full of new importance, almost too much to bear except that the weight was so delicious. She could have stayed there, suspended in that moment, on the very edge of more than just an orgasm, and never needed anything else in her entire life.
But he moved his thumb, harder, softer, tipping her over like the pushover she was. It came slowly, a tumble not a plunge, pleasure coursing through her while she writhed, exposed. Such a private thing, an orgasm, or so Julie had always thought. You were only really ever having it with yourself. Even during sex, climaxes had always had a masturbatory feel to her, as though she reached a certain point beyond which she was mainly only using the other person to get off with. Which was great fun. But this time she felt truly naked, dependent, like she was giving Alan a look at parts of her that nobody had ever seen, and trusting him to take care of them for her. Letting him reach right in and fondle things that had only a peripheral relationship to her erogenous zones.
At one point he whispered, “No, open your eyes,” though Julie hadn’t remembered closing them. She was frozen there, shivering through the continuing thrills, braced on her hand, feeling Alan’s breath and racing heartbeat through her palm. So much goodness was happening between her legs and everywhere else that she couldn’t think straight.
One thumb. Jesus Christ.
More.
“That was so hot. I’ve never seen anything that hot,” he murmured reverently.
She exhaled slowly, trying to play it cool, as if her mind wasn’t utterly blown. “You must not have watched much porno.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? I have instructions with three different friends to clear my browser history before my parents see it, if I’m ever in an accident. And what you just did was still hotter than any of it.”
“But you don’t even think I’m that hot,” Julie recalled. “You liked Amanda’s bikini better.”
“No,” he clarified, “I can look at Amanda in her bikini without getting a high school boy boner. Not that she doesn’t look great, I mean, but it’s different. It’s like looking at a sister or something.”
“And I’m not?” For all the times he’d teased her like a sibling, she still had to wonder. Her whole history with him was in a flux, her brain revising it as they went along, to reflect all the new information she was taking in.
“I admit I may have some dysfunctional family relationships, but I’m not that fucked up. No, believe me, I do not look at you and feel like I’m looking at one of my sisters. And I never, ever have.”
His family was disgustingly functional, she knew full well, but she ignored the comment. He was doing something with his hand behind her butt, stroking his erection between his palm and her skin, an unabashedly raunchy activity. He was also making a wonderfully lascivious face that drove all thoughts of siblinghood straight from her mind.
“You’d probably take it wrong if I said you had a great fuck-face, huh?” Because apparently all the filters had been removed from her mouth in the light of this, Alan’s gloriously wicked leer.
He snorted and pressed his cock harder against her butt cheek. “Uh, you could say about anything right now and I wouldn’t take it wrong. Unless you say you’re planning to leave now
that you’ve gotten off and come to your senses.”
She had gotten off. Alan had gotten her off, with just his thumb. Alan. The aftershocks were still tingling through her, physical and psychological. She was keeping a firm grip on the emotional part, but overall she had no intention of coming to her senses any time soon. “I wouldn’t leave you hanging.”
“Okay, then.” He scooped his hands down over her hips, then coaxed her up, and—slip, no additional positioning necessary, tab A filled slot B in one smooth slide. “Oh.”
Faster than he’d planned, she thought. More sudden, and very definitely not just the tip. He hadn’t factored in how wet she’d be, the mitigation of friction. She let her weight settle again, adjusting to this amazing new relationship between their bodies.
Oh my god, we’re totally having sex now. She’d been reduced to stating the obvious, even to herself. Duh, self.
“Holy fuck, Jules, that feels... Holy fuck.”
It was absolutely holy fuck. “And we’re not even moving yet.”
“Please don’t move. Yet. I need a few seconds.”
She had to move, though. A squirm, a squeeze around their shared focal point. He felt better than good inside her, he felt right. A magnet finding true north. A lock finally meeting its key. It swept over her again, that weird split between familiarity and novelty, the way she knew him so well but not like this.
You can never go back to just holding hands. Something her mother used to say when Julie was in high school, whenever she worried that her daughter might be going too far with a boy. At the time Julie had thought it was stupid, because she was stupid, as all teenagers were. In college she’d learned it was true, and that it applied even when both parties said the sex wouldn’t change things. Sex always changed things. Sometimes for the better, but often for the worse, because it made everyone all stupid and vulnerable, like teenagers again in their hormone-fueled enthusiasm for one another. It made everyone a little less wise.
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