“You’re pretty stupid for a man. I don’t need to answer your questions. Let me go so my friend and I can be on our way.”
“On your way to where?” he asked, not moving. Ava pulled at the rope again in frustration, causing another round of ring around the rosie. She growled and waited for the spinning to stop. As she circled around and around, she glared at the tree man in silence, while his expression clearly told her he had all day and didn’t mind waiting. Finally, she gave in.
“We need to find a witch. I’ve been tricked by some portal sprites, or some nonsense, and now I have to find a way back to my world so I can get home to my boy…to my fiancé. Apparently only a witch can help us, and we really don’t have time to waste so if you could…” she gestured around her at the net. The man continued to squat on his branch, and Ava wondered absently if his quads were at all sore sitting in that position.
“An engaged woman traveling alone in the woods searching for a witch? How very odd. Odd indeed. Even more so because our quests are exactly the same.”
Ava frowned.
“You’re looking for a witch, too? And I never said I was alone.”
“One travel companion rarely counts as company, lass. And aye, I do seek a witch,” he said, finally sitting on the branch, allowing his legs to dangle. His expression softened as he stared out into the treetops. “My mother has been sick for many years; I cannot sit by and watch anymore. I figured if I could find a witch, she could give me a potion to bring my mother back to her former health again. I will not stop until I find a cure for her, you see.” The man looked back at Ava, and the light in his eyes changed.
“What I need is a unicorn. Problem with unicorns is they’re sexist. They don’t like men. And now instead of a unicorn I’ve caught a mouthy woman, which might be even worse!”
Ava bristled. “Hey, it’s not my problem that you’re a terrible tracker, buddy. Let me down and we can both be on our way. In fact, I hope you do find the witch and your mom gets better. Just leave me and my friend alone!”
“But our paths lie together now, friend. I need a woman to better lure a unicorn, and you need to not be trapped in my net. So, we have an agreement upon us now. I will agree to let you go, if you agree to join my quest so that we may find a unicorn together and seek the council we both desperately need. Everyone wins!”
Ava stared at him as she rocked back and forth in her earth filled net, high above the ground. In the distance Ava could hear Avalon calling out, though the wind muffled her words. Ava pulled gently on the ropes surrounding her one more time. There was no way she’d be able to get out without his help. She exhaled.
“Fine. You may join us. But if you’re as useless on the trail as you are at trapping, I reserve the right to get rid of you as soon as possible.”
“Fine words coming from the inside of my net!”
“I’m not a unicorn!”
“Unfortunately, no.” The hunter frowned, then grinned. He hawked up a chunk of phlegm and spit it into his hand, then, horrifyingly, held it out for Ava to take.
“Um, what?” she said, stalling. The hunter frowned.
“You have to seal the deal. Spit in your hand and shake mine. That’s how we give our word around here.”
“No.”
The hunter’s hand lowered.
“What do you mean, no?”
“I mean that’s super gross and I’m not touching your gross ass hand.” Ava crossed her arms. “Why don’t you wipe your mouth boogers on your pant leg, wash that hand off with some water, soap if you’ve got it, and then I’ll consider touching it.”
“You’re really weird, you know that?”
“You’re disgusting. Did you know that?” Ava shot back. Still, even though he grumbled through the whole process, Ava watched as the hunter pulled out a cream colored flask and washed the spittle from his hand. After patting it down against his pant leg, he held his hand out to her again, his expression sarcastic. Balancing her body to keep the net from spinning again, Ava reached out and gave his fingers a brisk squeeze before letting go.
“There, Your Highness, now that wasn’t so bad, was it?”
“I’ve had better,” Ava replied, crossing her arms again and lifting an eyebrow expectantly. “Whenever you’re ready then.”
The hunter jumped from his branch, leaping to another as he unleashed a vine that slowly lowered Ava back toward the ground. As she broke through the leaves, she could see Avalon staring up, wide-eyed and scared. In that moment she wasn’t so sure she liked this version of herself. Before hitting the ground, the net shot up, then plopped Ava unceremoniously in a heap of detritus on the ground. Ava rubbed her lower back, grumbling. “Thanks for the soft landing.”
The hunter landed like a cat next to her, and Avalon screamed.
“Avalon, it’s okay. This guy wants to join our quest.” It was hard to sound reassuring when Ava was skeptical about their new companion. He walked over to Avalon, bowed, took her hand in a delicate gesture, and kissed it. If it were at all possible for Avalon to turn a brighter shade of red, she might have turned into an apple. Ava crossed her arms.
“Oh, so now you’re a gentleman?” she asked.
The hunter smirked. “To those who deserve it, yes.” He turned back to Avalon. “Dear lady, please allow me to escort you on your journey, that I may provide protection to your delicate self and your…friend.” His sideways glance at Ava told her all she needed to know about what he thought of her status on this journey. She wondered how quickly they could be rid of him. Avalon curtseyed, which somehow looked delicate, even in pants.
“Good sir, you are most kind. We are in great need of assistance as we seek a unicorn to guide us to a witch. My friend here needs to get home, and it falls on us to help her as representatives of this world. Pray tell, what is your name?”
The hunter bowed again. “Deepest apologies for my rudeness, milady. My name is Hunter, of the Greenbow Shire, at your service.”
Ava snorted. Hunter turned and stared daggers at her.
“Something funny, milady?”
“Oh, it’s milady now? Good, I’ve been upgraded! But you’re honestly telling me that you’re a hunter…named Hunter?”
Hunter turned slightly red. “Yes, I am. Do you take issue with someone being aptly named?”
“I take issue with someone being misnamed, but we’re wasting time. So, you’re a hunter. How do we track down a unicorn?”
Hunter changed subjects. Gazing out into the forest, he stood in silence for a moment before looking back at the two of them. He began to speak, paused and stared back and forth between them several times. He turned to Avalon last.
“Your alternate self really has dropped into your lap! How very strange! The two of you could not be more different.”
Ava ignored the obvious insult. It seemed to fly straight over Avalon’s head.
“It is strange, but not uncommon. Please sir, tell us what we need to know.” Hunter cast one more mistrustful look at Ava, who continued to glare at him. She was missing Mason more with every passing minute. The last thing they needed was some oaf who would probably trick them into finding the unicorn just to take it to the witch himself. Hunter focused on Avalon.
“Unicorns are drawn to two things: beautiful young maidens, such as yourself, and fairy pools. There is such a pool not far from here which is why I set up my trap on this very spot. Perhaps if milady perches by the pool and waits for our prey, we can lure one in a more gentle fashion? I’ve heard tell that many a unicorn has been enticed this way.”
Avalon’s eyelashes fluttered as Hunter extended his arm to escort her to the fairy pool. He cast a sideways glare at Ava as they breezed past her, Avalon all eyes for the dashing hunter. Indulging herself, Ava made a gagging gesture behind their backs before falling in step behind them. The forest air was cool and refreshing, making their walk a pleasant one as they headed along a narrow side path. The trail opened up into a clearing, and Ava stopped in shock.
Under a can
opy of trees, a ground cover of amethyst flowers spread in every direction. The footpath before them was inlaid with solid gold bricks. Surrounding the glade was every type of fruit tree Ava could imagine, but when she went to pick an apple she realized the fruit was made of solid ruby. Unable to resist, she slipped it into her bag. The blueberries on the bushes below were pure sapphires. All around them glittering jeweled fruit winked in the sunlight that peeked in from behind leaves high above. Judging by the way they glinted, they could easily have been made of emerald, and yet everything was as light as the fruit and foliage it was meant to take after. At the other end of the clearing, a tunnel made entirely of greenery extended into a closed off wood. Hunter gestured with his unoccupied hand.
“There lies our path. Do lead the way, friend,” he said, looking at Ava. Enchanted, she didn’t protest, but instead walked straight into the fairy tunnel. The inside looked like the night sky. While dark, fireflies danced among the leaves, making the tunnel glitter and glow. Ava did her best to keep her gaze forward lest anything jump out at them unexpectedly, but short of a few fireflies buzzing in her face, nothing happened. A glowing light at the end of the tunnel appeared, and when Ava reached the end of it, she truly lost her breath.
The fairy pool shimmered with golden light. It was covered in emerald lily pads with amethyst flowers. Bright green moss grew all around the pond, and it sank like a sponge under each step. As though in a trance, Ava walked to the pool’s edge and sat on the welcoming poolside.
“What have you done?” a voice whispered into her ear. Ava glanced around, but saw no one.
“What do you mean?” she whispered back into nothingness. She glanced over to see Hunter and Avalon taking a seat across the pond from her, smiling together. Ew. Avalon could do better.
“A man in fairy territory…the Queen is not going to be happy about this…” the voice warned. And still Ava saw nothing. Who was talking to her? Hunter took Avalon’s hand, and she blushed again. What was going on? They met like an hour ago!
A series of bamboo spikes shot up all around them, thorny vines weaving a tight fence to lock them inside. Ava shot up, locking eyes briefly with Hunter, who had his bow nocked with a stone tipped arrow as he wildly looked for something to shoot. The leaves above them began to shake and tremble in an invisible storm until the entire forest ceiling took the shape of a gorgeous woman’s face. Her appearance might have been more beautiful if it weren’t scowling. Then she yelled.
“Who dares to bring a man into my fortress? Who would dare bring this creature into the realm of the sacred feminine?”
Ava scowled at Hunter, wondering absently if she would ever look at him with any other expression. Probably not.
“Hey Hunter. Were you aware that you’re not actually allowed to be here, by any chance?” Hunter actually had the good judgment to look sheepish. Not that it helped them now.
“I mean, I thought if I had female escorts, the fairies might make an exception for me. Couldn’t hurt to try, right?”
“It could! It could hurt to try, you idiot!”
“Enough!” boomed the Fairy Queen’s voice. It really wasn’t hard to guess that this was the queen. Everything about her tone demanded deference. She thundered on, and Avalon winced, cowering behind Hunter.
“Clearly the ladies were tricked by the manipulative and conniving man, as all women are by their male counterparts! We will not punish you for your poor judgment, fair ladies, though you can rest assured you will never be welcomed here again for your foolishness. We do not kill those who do us wrong, Man, but punishment is warranted. I believe the usual will do—a life sentence as one of our fireflies.”
Slowly it dawned on Ava that the fireflies who had been frantically flying into her face were either trying to warn her or beg for help. She swallowed. Avalon grasped Hunter’s hand; his face was alabaster white.
“Your Majesty, please!” Ava cried. Unnervingly, the face turned directly on her. Its expression was not a pleasant one.
“You. Child of another world. You do not belong here any more than he does. Do not try to save him or yourself. The only innocent here is the girl, and I hardly want to reward her for helping two such as yourselves. Your presence is only stoking my rage—I cannot bear it any longer! You must all die! You simply must!”
“We will not! You shall not best us today, nor any day that follows, creature!” Hunter screamed and let loose a series of arrows at the trees, all of which passed harmlessly through. Through the brush Ava saw several pairs of glowing eyes appearing all around them. Wild cats, bears, sharp toothed carnivores she couldn’t even name, all began to creep into the clearing, eyes intent on their prey. The bamboo prison barrier began to lower, the vines unwinding and sinking back into the mossy ground.
Ava braced herself for death.
Chapter Three
“PSSST.”
Ava swatted at her ears. She heard an annoyed snort.
“I’m not there, dummy. Look, grab your friends and run back through the tunnel. I’ll try to hold them off. Run back to the hunter’s trap, and I’ll meet you there.”
Great, Ava thought. Now the invisible voices in her head were telling her what to do. Without an alternative though she decided it would be best for her to listen. She looked at Avalon who stared fearfully back. If they really were the same person, she would understand Ava’s gestures. She nodded to the tunnel and then held up her fingers, counting down from three. Two. One.
Ava bolted for the tunnel entrance, Avalon and Hunter close behind her. They heard a screech as the Queen urged the beasts give chase. The tunnel behind them closed and began collapsing at their heels. Ava’s shins splintered in pain as she sprinted as fast as she could, Avalon and Hunter at her back. The fireflies had disappeared, leaving them in pitch-black as they raced toward the light at the other end. They burst through, and Ava spared one last glance at the glittering fruit as they ran past.
Once they reached Hunter’s trap, they collapsed on the ground, and wiped stinging sweat from their eyes. The collapsed tunnel seemed to have stopped all their pursuers, but Ava looked around just to be sure. Red spots danced across her vision, and she sat up slowly to avoid passing out. Hunter was sitting up, too, helping Avalon to a sip of his canteen. Her eyes glittered with gratitude. Ava gritted her teeth.
“Okay, we’re here! You can show yourself now!”
The forest was eerily silent. Hunter looked at Ava like she was crazy, and then his expression changed as his gaze drifted past her shoulder. He stood, his hand on his bow. Turning, Ava grinned.
A snowy white unicorn stood under a stream of sunlight dancing with rainbows. Its charcoal black eyes unreadable as it stared at the group of young people. It slowly clip-clopped past Ava and stood in front of Hunter, whose hand was still resting protectively on his bow. Lifting its head, horn up in the air, it shoved its lower snout into Hunter’s chest, knocking him on his butt.
“You idiot! You could have all been killed because of your selfishness. If my higher moral principles weren’t so strong, I would have walked away. I could just live out my eternal life in peace. But you had to stir up the fairies, didn’t you?”
Ava glanced at the other two to see if they could hear the unicorn’s voice in their heads too. Having never had a collectively telepathic conversation before, she wasn’t really sure how to act, so she just stared at the unicorn’s twisted, sharp horn. This could be a problem. Also, the unicorn’s voice was gravely and male, which was not at all what she would have expected. Avalon spoke up.
“Sir, we have come seeking your help and here you are! Please…the only reason we were at the fairy pool was to find you!”
The unicorn huffed.
“Why would a unicorn be by a fairy pool? Unicorns are violently against the tyranny of the Matriarchy. We’re all about equal rights.”
“But I thought you only liked young maidens. Usually those, um, that are pure of body,” Avalon whispered, going red. The unicorn pawed the ground in ag
itation.
“What? That is the most sexist thing I have ever heard. Where are people getting their information these days, the town fool? Girl, you can do whatever you’d like with your body—equal rights for life! Unicorns stay away from people because all they ever do is ask for favors. I don’t have time to be granting favors for every person I come across!”
“Then what are you up to right now, that’s keeping you so busy?” Ava asked. If a unicorn could hem and haw, this one did just that.
“Look, I’ve got grass to eat, and stuff. It’s none of your business! The point is, I saw the fairies about to commit a wrong and I righted it. Task completed. Have a nice day.”
The unicorn began to trot off, and Hunter made to tackle it. Ava threw up an arm to hold him back. She had an idea.
“Unicorn!”
“My name is George!” George huffed and kept walking.
“Um, okay. George. You say that people are always after you for favors. But what about you? Is there anything that you need we can help you with?”
George stopped and turned around, staring intently at Ava. He sniffed the air, his nose leaning in the general direction of her bag. To Ava’s surprise, his mouth began to water. Unicorn drool—gross.
“What…what do you have in that bag there? It smells delicious!”
Ava opened her pack and pulled out the ruby apple. George whinnied in delight.
“A ruby apple from the fairy garden! We’re never able to get in there, because fairies are jerks. They’re so delicious! I would have that from you, lady, please! Please, please, please!”
George nosed the apple with wild hunger in his eyes, but Ava pulled it away. George stamped the ground, and Ava tried not to look at the enormous twisty knife on his head.
“You can have this apple, friend, no problem. But first you have to bring us to a witch. I need something that can get me back home, and if Hunter’s telling the truth, he needs something to save his mother’s life.”
“I am telling the truth!” Hunter protested. Avalon grabbed his arm and shook her head. Mollified, he settled for a dirty look at Ava. Nothing unusual there. George seemed to consider this bargain carefully. Finally, he lowered his head.
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