“I doubt I’d ever find it within myself to forgive you for this,” Lucy said and her eyes burned bright with hatred towards me.
“And, does your existence really cause you the pain you say it does?” I asked her, because she’d never mentioned it to me before.
“I feel like the very force that drives my life is repelled against me,” she said without flinching.
“You should have told me about that sooner,” I scolded her without meaning to. If I’d of known that the soul in her body was rejecting her then perhaps, I would have been able to do something about it.
“Like you care,” she said to me.
“I do care. I’ve always cared Lucy. I love you, please don’t think otherwise.”
“You love nothing other than yourself. You can’t love anybody else. That might mean that you’d have to put their needs before your own.”
It hurt to have Lucy say these things to me, but I know deep down that she was right. At least, she was right to a certain degree. I did love her. She was wrong about my inability to love, but I had to admit that I wasn’t sure whether I loved her enough to stay behind and leave my home in my memories, even if I couldn’t take her with me.
“I think that there’s a way that I can make some of this better for you,” I said as my brain started to form a plan. I knew that I’d lost her. I knew that she would never forgive me, so all I had left was to ensure that her life wasn’t as painful as it had always been.
“What do you mean?”
“I think that I can stop the feeling that you have inside. I think I can quell the wrongness you feel for existing, but it comes at a price.”
“What kind of price?” She asked me with wide open eyes.
“It’s a price that we will both have to pay. For me, I will lose you completely. You will no longer even know who I am. For you, your memories will be taken. You will not remember the last ten years. It will be as if you have been reborn,” I explained to her.
“Are you willing to do that for me?” She asked me and the question hung in the air.
Was I willing to do it for her? Was I willing to let her live happily at the cost of it not being with me? I looked at her. She was almost leaning forward in anticipation for my answer. I could tell that the possibility of living without internal rejection was something she was willing to her memories for without question. “Yes,” I said, because I knew that it was the only way to make the situation better.
I did it. I took away her memories and I sent her into the human world. She had no idea who she was. She had no idea what she was. She only knew that she’d been found on the roadside and that her parents hadn’t even bothered to leave her at a hospital. I hadn’t been able to help that. It was just the story that the world used to justify her existence.
I knew, though, from the moment that she left that I’d made the wrong choice. I knew from the moment that the recognition left her eyes that I would have been never have been able to leave her in the way that she had just left me. I knew as soon as I sent her out into the world that I needed to get her back, even if it meant that she thought that I was somebody else.
I called Johnathan to my office quickly. He looked mildly concerned over the panicked look on my face, but he didn’t comment on it. “Johnathan, I need to go topside. I’m going to be gone for a while, so you’re in charge, but the army is not to march until I return. Do you understand?” I asked him.
“I understand,” he said with a small nod. “How should I find you if I need to?” He asked me, as he watched me dart around the room.
“I’ll be going under the name of Daniel. If you need me, then you’ll be able to find me with that,” I said, as I slapped him on the back and then headed out of the door.
Hellfire
What She Lost
Paranormal Romance
Book 4
By: Stacia Ford & Third Cousins
A SYNOPSIS...
Lucy knows that she’s in trouble. She knows that once Gabriel has the information that he needs, he is going to kill her. She knows that holding on to the information is the only thing keeping her alive. But as Gabriel ramps up the torture is being alive really such a great thing anymore?
Gabriel doesn’t know who he can trust. He knows that Caleb is probably the only one of his brothers who can help him break into Lucy’s mind, but he has his doubts about Caleb. When desperation kicks in, he agrees to let Caleb help. But what will be the cost?
INSPIRING WORDS
“It is one thing to be clever and another to be wise.”
- George R.R. Martin
CHAPTER 1
Lucy
I was back in Gabriel’s office and nothing had changed, but everything felt different. I knew that I should be pissed. I knew that I should be frightened over what he was going to do to me next, but I wasn't. I wasn’t anything. I couldn't bring myself to care about anything. Not even the fact that Daniel was Lucifer or the fact that I’d just discovered that I wasn’t human.
I could feel Gabriel’s curious eyes on me as I lay perfectly still. “What do you remember?” He asked, as I shifted my eyes over to him. His voice sounded shrill against my ears. It was almost as though it was made out of thousands of tiny bells that were being mashed together. It hurt my ears with its sickly sweet sound.
“I remember everything,” I told him calmly.
“You need to tell me what you remember,” Gabriel said and his voice continued to drill through my ears.
“I don’t need to tell you anything,” I said in the same calm manner. I could tell that he was getting annoyed with my answers, but I didn’t care.
“You will share with me what you know.”
“Why? What are you going to do if I don’t?”
“You don’t want to know what I’ll do to you,” Gabriel threatened me.
“That’s weird, because I’m sure I just asked,” I said cockily.
I could see Gabriel’s cheeks turning a blazing red. His breathing was getting heavier with annoyance and his heart was beating hard against his chest. “I will find out what you know,” Gabriel said.
He walked away from the bed and out of my view. I strained to see where he’d gone, but I couldn’t angle my head right. I closed my eyes and waited for him to come back.
It wasn’t like I didn’t have enough to think about, anyway. I’d just discovered that Daniel was Lucifer. Daniel, my best friend and anchor in this world, was actually my creator. It was mind-blowing. It hardly seemed possible that it could be the truth, but I’d felt the memories return to me and I knew that they were real.
I wondered what that meant for Daniel’s army. I wondered whether it was ready to march ahead without him or whether he’d truly called it off when he’d come up topside. I wondered why he’d even come up topside in the first place. It didn’t make any sense. The last thing I remember of him being Lucifer was him saying he would send me away and give me my best chance at happiness.
It didn’t make any sense and I knew that it would continue to be a puzzle until I spoke to Daniel. I pulled gently against the straps that were holding me down. They felt stronger than their material would have suggested. I realized that they’d been engraved with ancient symbols, which I was sure had been designed to keep demons in their place.
I couldn’t think of an escape. I couldn’t think of a way to reach Daniel. I’d called the home and they’d said that he wasn’t there. I didn’t even know where I’d look if I did manage to escape. I didn’t even know whether he’d still be topside or whether he’d have gone back into hiding after my arrest.
I could still hear Gabriel breathing, so I knew that he was in the room with me. I tried to shift again to see whether I could get a look at him, but the straps were too tight. “What are you doing over there?” I asked finally.
“I’m preparing to make you talk,” he explained casually.
“You know, you say that you think I’m the abomination, but you sure do throw nasty threats around a l
ot,” I pointed out, as I heard a heavy wooden lid being slammed shut.
“I don’t they count when they’re against a demon,” Gabriel said, as his footsteps started to closer.
“You realize that before you took my soul. I was only a half-demon, right?”
“There is no such thing as a half-demon. You were a demon with a soul shoved into you like a badly fitted piece of a jigsaw. That doesn’t make you special. That makes you wrong,” Gabriel said in a seething tone.
“I suppose you might be right,” I said, as he came into view. “But you have to consider that when I had my half a soul, I was half-angel, too. So I can’t have been nearly as bad then, with it, as I am now without it.” I took in the heavy looking wooden box in his hands. I could hear a shimmering whisper escaping from it, as though whatever was inside was calling out to me.
“You had no right to have a soul,” Gabriel said. “What Lucifer did was wrong. Now, yet again, I’m going to have to clean up after his mistakes.”
“What did Dan,” I started, but then I realized that Gabriel didn’t know him by that name. “What did Lucifer ever do to you?”
“He did enough,” Gabriel said in a cagey kind of way.
“No, seriously, “I said. “What did he do to you? I mean, he’s meant to be your brother. Why would you deny him love?” I wasn't trying to poke at him; I really wanted to know. None of it made any sense to me. I couldn’t understand why Gabriel was determined to wipe me from existence, when I’d been created with the sole purpose of loving his brother.
“It doesn’t matter what he did,” Gabriel said with an attempt at a smile spreading across his lips. “All that matters is that he deserves punishment. Now, you need to start telling what you remember or things are going to get real painful in here.”
CHAPTER 2
Gabriel
I don’t know why she thought it was okay to press me for answers. She clearly didn’t understand the situation. She clearly didn’t realize how much pain she would be in if she didn’t start answering my questions soon. I looked down at her wrists, which were starting to turn red from her pulling against the straps. “I need to know what you remember about being created,” I said. I still hoped she wouldn’t make me force it out of her. It would be unspeakably unpleasant for her, but nasty enough for me, as well.
“Why does it matter to you?”
“Lucy,” I said in a tired tone, “it’s time to start talking now. So, tell me what you remember”
“I’ll tell you when you tell me why it matters. I mean you’re not going to replicate me or anything, so why do you need to know?”
I could feel myself getting more frustrated with her with every second that passed. Normal people would be afraid of the situation they were in. Normal people would tell me everything that I wanted to know just in the hopes that I might let them live. “I just want to know how he did it,” I said.
“I don’t know how he did it,” Lucy said with a small shake of her head and a cocky smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. “All I remember is that there was a lot of pain.”
“What kind of pain?”
“The worst pain that you could imagine. It was the kind of pain that I can’t compare to anything I’ve ever felt again.”
“What happened when the pain went away?” I asked.
“I was just there,” she said, as though that made any sense. “Like, there was all this pain and nothing else for what felt like an eternity and then the pain went and I was suddenly alive. It was all kind of overwhelming, really.”
“Did Lucifer put the soul into you before you woke up or after?” I pushed her for more answers, since she seemed to be cooperating with me.
“Before, I think,” she said as a thoughtful look crossed over her face. “I would have noticed for sure if it had happened after I woke up, wouldn't I?
“Did you get to see what was going on when you were down there?”
“What do you mean?”
“Did Lucifer trust you enough to have you around when he went about his work. When he made his plans?”
“Sure, he trusted me,” Lucy said as though earning his trust had been nothing.
“I’m going to need you to tell me everything that you heard when you were down there. I have known for a while now that my brother has been plotting something, but I’ve been unable to get any sold facts.”
“I'll talk about me, but I’m not telling you anything about him,” Lucy said defiantly.
“Lucy, I appreciate the fact that you enjoy being difficult, but there really isn’t much time for that,” I said wearily. “If Lucifer does plan to strike out against his brothers, then I need to know. I need to be able to warn them so that they can defend themselves. I need to make sure that my father’s creations on earth are not going to be harmed because of him,” I tried to reason with her. “This isn’t about you or me. It’s about creation itself.”
“I won’t betray Lucifer,” Lucy said and her eyes were determined. “I won’t betray his trust, even if he did betray mine.”
The girl made no sense to me. I couldn’t understand why she would defend Lucifer. I couldn’t understand why she wasn’t willing to do the right thing for the sake of everything that was living and was yet to live. “You know, if Lucifer does attack his brothers, then it will be hell on earth,” I said in a steady voice.
“Sounds like fun,” Lucy said dryly.
“I’ve had enough of this,” I said as I realized that there would be no reasoning with her. I opened the heavy box that I was still holding and looked down at the blue smoke it held. “You will answer my questions or I will force you to.”
“You’ve said that bit already,” Lucy replied with a bored voice.
I reached into the box and took a hold of the smoke. I could feel its cold, silky touch against my palm, as I started to squeeze it shut.
“What are you doing?” Lucy asked me with wide eyes. I know she could feel her chest starting to close up. “What are you doing to me?” She asked again with panic washing over her face.
“What’s Lucifer planning?” I asked her firmly.
“Stop it,” she said. Her voice started to lose volume with the lack of air in her lungs.
“I’ll stop when you tell me,” I said, as I put more pressure onto the soul in my hands.
“Then you’ll kill me without finding out anything,” she said even through the pain.
“You know,” I said with a small smile appearing over my lips. “It isn’t just you who feels this. This isn’t a whole soul. There’s another half somewhere that’s feeling the same pain that you are.” I watched her face change.
“Why are you doing this?”
“Because, you’re not answering my questions,” I explained to her. “Now tell me what Lucifer is doing,”
“I won’t tell you anything,” she choked as her face started to turn blue.
“Then it won’t be only you who dies,” I warned her. I watched as her face darkened in color. I held on to the soul for as long as I dared, before I released my grasp. I knew I couldn’t kill her. I needed to find out what she knew and I think that she knew that too.
She jerked forward and started gasping for air, as she realized that her lungs had been freed from the squeeze of my fist. She coughed heavily and I turned away from her. I needed a better plan. I needed to figure out a way to crack her.
CHAPTER 3
Lucy
My lungs ached from the air that I was forcing into them. My head felt light with the oxygen deprivation it had just suffered from, and dizzy from returning to its normal state. I couldn’t help but wonder whether Gabriel had been telling the truth. Had Daniel felt the same pain that I had? Did he know now that I was being tortured? Would he come for me now?
I heard Gabriel’s footsteps as he left the office, and I relaxed back into the silence that he’d left behind. My lungs were on fire, but they were starting to simmer down. I thought about what had just happened. I wondered what Gabriel wou
ld try next in his pursuit for the truth. I knew of course what Daniel had been planning, before I’d been expelled topside. I knew that he planned to wage a war against Gabriel in his desperate attempt to get home, but what I didn’t know was whether he still intended to do it.
I couldn’t reveal Daniel’s plan without knowing whether he really was going to go through with it. The only thing I knew for certain was that if I revealed the plan then there would be an all-out war and I wasn’t going to be the reason for that. I wasn’t going to be the reason that brothers fought against each other.
I heard the door open. Footsteps broke the silence that was surrounding me, but they didn’t sound like Gabriel’s. “Who is it?” I called out because I couldn’t move my head enough to see who it was.
“They call me Caleb,” a gruff voice said. “Gabriel has asked for me to come and talk to you. To be honest, he wants me to search your mind for answers about what Daniel is planning.” He came into view—he powerful-looking, with dark brows and piercing eyes.
“Daniel?” I picked up on the fact that Caleb called him by the name that he used when he was topside. “Have you seen him?”
“What would make you ask that?” Caleb asked me in a casual way, but I could tell from his eyes that I’d rattled him.
“You have, haven’t you,” I said quickly. “You’ve seen Daniel. Is he okay?”
“That’s what you want to know?” Caleb asked me with a frown. “You want to know whether Daniel is okay?”
“Well, yeah,” I said. I couldn’t understand why that was such a surprise to him.
“Did Gabriel put your soul back in?” Caleb asked. His eyes probed me for—well, I couldn't tell what was puzzling him and so I didn't know what he was trying to see.
“No,” I said. “He was having too much fun torturing me with it.”
Hellfire Saga Page 8