She was breathless when he pulled away, and it took a moment for her to focus.
“Show’s over” was all Jimmy said before leading her to the elevator. They got off at the fourth floor, Moira still out of sorts, confused by the juxtaposition of the steamy kiss and Jimmy’s distance.
Inside the room, he locked the door, and when he turned to her, she wrapped her arms around him and pressed her face to his chest. She needed this more than she knew. He gently removed her arms from him and said, “I need to call Gabby.”
Jimmy stepped around her and tugged off his tie while he made the call.
It was like she wasn’t even there with him.
“We’re in the room. I have no idea if she has eyes on us, but it’s possible.” He mumbled a few more things, and Moira stood rooted in place.
When he disconnected, she asked, “So what do we do now?”
“Wait and hope they break into Walker’s condo, so we can arrest them.” He shed his suit coat and unbuttoned the first two buttons on his shirt. He sat in the chair and turned on the TV.
Of all the things they could be doing after not seeing each other for a couple of days, he wanted to watch TV? Although he sat still in that uncomfortable chair, she felt the storm brewing around him. That same whirlwind she never understood before.
“What’s wrong?”
He slid her a look and returned his attention to the TV.
As if that would work. She grew up with four brothers. She stood in front of him, blocking his view of the screen. “Talk to me. What’s the matter?”
“What’s the matter?” His voice barely rose, but he was seething. He stood from his spot and tossed the remote onto the table with a clang. “How about I’m sitting in a fucking hotel room while everyone else is about to make an arrest that should be mine? I’m sitting here doing nothing. With you.”
It was like a punch to her heart. He didn’t want to be with her. That’s why he sent Liam to her apartment last night. It certainly explained the chunk of granite he’d turned into. But she had no idea why. “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why are you treating me like this? I thought we had something good going.”
“We did.”
Her heart stuttered and sank. Did. Past tense.
Jimmy kept his distance, but for a change, continued to talk. “Then you had to push. You had to go after a story that put you in the middle of my investigation. And last night, in the middle of a dangerous situation.”
He was pissed about his stupid job? “I went on that date last night for you, not me. I didn’t need to continue the charade for my article, but I didn’t want to mess up your investigation. I was totally freaked out and scared last night.” Her voice cracked and she swallowed hard. “Do you think I would put myself in danger for a story?”
“I obviously have no idea what you’d be willing to do for a story. But I know you rush into things without thought. It’s who you are.”
A wave of iciness swept over her. He was doing what Liam had warned her of. He needed to control everything and he couldn’t control her. “I’m sorry I’m so difficult. I’ll leave you to your business.”
She turned and picked up her purse from the dresser. She couldn’t face him anymore and didn’t want him to see the tears that threatened.
“You can’t go. Someone will be watching to make sure we spend the night in the room.”
For a second, she thought he wanted her to stay, but it was just the job. She didn’t turn around. Instead, she went to the bathroom and locked the door. With the water for the bath running, she sat on the toilet and cried tears of heartbreak, which were somehow much worse than the tears of fear and disgust she shed last night.
CHAPTER 18
Fuck. The woman drove him insane. When Jimmy saw her standing on the street waiting for him to pick her up, irritation dug into him because she wore that fucking wig again, which just accentuated the fact that she was playing a hooker. But then, when he looked into her eyes as she walked to the car, he saw pure happiness.
He’d wanted nothing more than to bundle her up and take her home to be safe, but it wasn’t an option. He had a job to do and Moira would never go for it. He’d been harsher than he’d wanted to be when she confronted him, but he was grasping at his last threads of control. She stood in front of him looking vulnerable and feisty at the same time, luring him in with the touch of her body, but he couldn’t let go of the fact that she was standing there in a wig pretending to be a prostitute.
Something that, while it ultimately helped his case, she started on her own for an article. She wouldn’t be happy to stay where she was with her job. They weren’t so different; they both wanted to excel, be more, get further. But he couldn’t live with her like that.
He spent two days tied in knots worrying about what she was doing, not being able to talk to her, knowing she wouldn’t listen if they could talk. He looked at the bathroom door. The water was running, but no other sounds seeped under the door.
He’d never get used to a quiet Moira. She talked to herself while she worked, typing away at the computer. She sang while she made coffee in the morning. She moaned and called his name while they had sex.
Turning up the volume on the TV, he hoped to drown out all sounds from the bathroom and the images in his head. He settled back on the bed and fell asleep knowing that for at least the next few hours, Moira was safe.
Jimmy woke to the sound of his phone buzzing across the table where he’d left it. He rubbed his eyes and sat up to grab the phone. The TV was off and Moira was curled into the armchair across the room. He answered the phone as he checked the time. Three a.m. “What’s up?”
Gabby answered, “We got ’em. Meet you at the station?”
He looked at Moira, sound asleep, using his jacket as a blanket. “Yeah, I’ll be there.”
He pulled the blanket back on the bed and then picked Moira up. Her face showed evidence of crying and a stab of guilt poked him. He didn’t want to hurt her, but Liam had been right, they didn’t belong together. As he shifted her weight to get her into the bed, she wrapped an arm on his shoulder and snuggled into his neck.
If only he could keep her right there.
He set her down, removed his jacket from her, and replaced it with the blanket. He scribbled a note and left it on the nightstand. Kittner would need her to come into the station as a witness, but it would wait until morning.
Plus, he couldn’t stomach seeing her look at him with hatred for breaking her heart.
The next two days were filled with interviews and forms and statements before Gabby came to Moira and gave her the promised details so Moira could write the article she’d been working toward for a month.
Then she allowed herself a week of pity. A solid week of homemade brownies and fudge brownie ice cream, late night black-and-white movies, and sleeping until the rest of the world was well into their workday and she could pretend they all ceased to exist. Kathy came by after work and let her complain and whine about Jimmy and how stupid he was. Elizabeth dragged her out for a manicure and pedicure before going to ladies’ night at a club.
When she wasn’t pining away over Jimmy O’Malley, she worked her ass off well into the night to write the article on the theft ring that targeted wealthy men with a penchant for high-class hookers. She queried the Chicago Tribune since they’d printed her article on Griffin last year as well as the first one she’d done on the Bostwick Charity. The editor wanted it for the Sunday edition and also wanted first shot at her follow-up on the escorts. Working for the Trib even as a freelancer would open doors.
It was everything she’d been hoping for, but she couldn’t quite get excited.
Surprisingly, none of her brothers came to visit. She didn’t know if Elizabeth warned them off, or if by some chance, they didn’t know Jimmy had broken her heart. Her mother wanted her to come over for dinner because she’d missed the last family dinner, and since it was the middle of the week, Moira wou
ldn’t have to face her brothers yet. Especially Liam. Although he wasn’t a told-you-so kind of guy, she didn’t want him to hate Jimmy.
She also wasn’t sure she wanted to see Jimmy’s house and run the risk of bumping into any of the O’Malleys. Pulling into her old neighborhood, Moira decided to park around the corner from her mom’s house and use the back door to go unnoticed.
Unfortunately, that meant she didn’t see Liam’s car parked in front and was unaware she’d find him standing in the kitchen. She wanted to back out the door, but he’d already seen her. “Hi. What are you doing here?”
“Mom told me you were coming for dinner and I wanted to check on you.”
“I have a phone. You know where I live.”
“But you wouldn’t have answered. How are you?”
She joined him at the small counter and cut up vegetables for dinner. “I’m good. The Trib is going to run the story I got from working with Jimmy.” She smiled, both because she was proud of herself for the accomplishment and because she managed to say Jimmy’s name without getting choked up.
“That’s great, but how are you holding up? Elizabeth told me Jimmy broke it off. What happened?”
“I really don’t know. It’s not like something happened—it was more that you were right. Jimmy and I are different, and those differences were too much for him. As usual, I had no idea what was going on in his head because he can’t open up and just talk.” She scooped carrots and cucumbers into the bowl of lettuce.
Liam took the knife from her hand and turned her to face him. “I don’t want to make excuses for the guy, but you scare him.”
Moira snorted. “I am like the least scary thing in his life. He’s a cop.”
Liam shook his head. “He’s a cop because it gives him the chance to get the bad guy and protect people. You scare him because he doesn’t think he can protect you. He can’t control you.”
“Did he tell you this?”
“He didn’t have to. I’ve known him my whole life. Ever since his mom was killed, he’s been looking for a way to control everything.” He rubbed his hand over his short hair. “The thing is, I hadn’t considered that you would push back. That you might show him how to loosen some of that control.”
“What are you saying? After all your stay away from my little sister shit, you think Jimmy and I belong together?”
Liam took a big step back. “Do you love him?”
Another step while he waited for her to answer, making her suspicious.
“Yeah, I love him. I’ve loved him since I was ten. Lot of good that has done me.”
Another step.
“Then maybe you should continue your pushy ways and go after him.”
Her hand balled into a fist and she realized why Liam had been backing away. He knew she was ready to hit him. “For weeks both Jimmy and I have been listening to you tell us how we shouldn’t be together and it’s this colossal mistake and now, after he’s dumped me, you’re saying I should fight for this relationship with a man who’s afraid of me because he can’t control me?”
She inhaled deeply and stepped forward. Liam stepped away.
“I worry about you, but Mom was right and I should’ve stayed out of it.”
“Great time to choose to listen to Mom. You couldn’t have had this epiphany, I don’t know, a week ago, so I could’ve struck while the iron was hot? While Jimmy and I were still caught up in the emotions of what we had? It’s been a week and he’s probably over at his house thanking God I haven’t stalked him.”
Liam burst out laughing.
She rushed him and smacked his arm. “This is not funny.”
“Listen to yourself. It is pretty funny.” He grabbed Moira’s shoulders and sobered his expression. “This isn’t one of those things where within a week, it blows over. Part of what made me wig out when Jimmy told me he’d slept with you was the look in his eyes. You were never some fling for him to scratch an itch. Prove it to him because he’s obviously too stupid to see it.”
Her shoulders sagged. She looked down at her wrinkled T-shirt, shorts, and ratty flip-flops. Not exactly go get a man clothing. “What if you’re wrong? What if he doesn’t want me? I don’t know if I can put myself out there for him to stomp on my heart.”
“Then put the ball in his court and force him to make a choice. If he knows he still has a shot, that might be all the incentive he needs.”
She rolled her lower lip and bit into it, thinking. Force him to make a choice. Then it hit her. Jimmy still owed her one favor. All she had to do was push to collect. It would give him a chance. “Hold dinner for me. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
She walked out the front door and across the street before she lost her nerve. The front door to the O’Malley house was open, and she heard the TV blaring with a baseball game. She pounded on the screen door.
The look of shock on Jimmy’s face when he came to the door was priceless. “Moira.”
As if she didn’t know her own name. Push him, Liam said. She knew how to push. “Friday night, pick me up at six thirty. Wear a suit.”
“What?” Panic replaced the shock.
“You owe me. You promised to be my date to my reunion. It’s this Friday.”
“But . . . I thought . . .”
“No, Jimmy, you didn’t think. You didn’t talk. You didn’t open up, which was all I asked of you.” She was eternally grateful for the screen separating them because the look of pain in his eyes made her want to wrap herself around him. “If just once, you had said, ‘Moira, don’t go after this story because I’m worried about you’ or ‘I can’t think straight if I don’t know you’re safe,’ I would’ve given you whatever you wanted. But you barked orders and made demands. If you had given me that piece of you, Jimmy, let me see your vulnerability, I would’ve given you anything because I love you.”
His jaw dropped and she turned and walked away. She felt his gaze on her back as she crossed the street and forced herself not to turn around.
Ball firmly in his court.
Friday afternoon, Jimmy sat thinking. Norah came into the room and Jimmy noticed she was starting to do the pregnant woman’s waddle. She was in a better place over the last couple of weeks, smiling more, talking about finishing school here in Chicago. She still wouldn’t name the baby’s father, but overall, she was happier.
“You are such a wuss.”
Still his snotty little sister, though. “What?”
“You’re screwed up in love with Moira and you’re sitting here staring at your suit like it’s the Wizard of Oz. Get dressed and go get her.”
He’d been toying with that exact idea. What was supposed to happen after this one date?
“I don’t know what’s holding you back, Jimmy, but whatever it is, talk to her. Work it out.”
Moira said she loved him and would’ve given him anything if only he’d asked. He jumped off his bed with the idea. “You’re right.”
A broad smile spread across Norah’s face. “Words every sister lives to hear.”
“Whatever. Now get out.” He dressed, and on his way to Moira’s apartment, he stopped for flowers and chocolate. Maybe not the best negotiating tools, but they’d get him heard.
At five forty-five, he knocked on Moira’s door, but tested the knob. Locked. It brought a smile to his face. The door swung open and Moira stood in front of him wearing the skimpy robe again.
“You’re here.”
The surprise in her voice stung. If nothing else, he always held up his end of a bargain. “Of course I’m here.”
“But you’re early. I said six thirty. I’m not ready.”
He took a step, forcing her into the apartment. “I figured we would need the extra time for negotiations.”
Her face scrunched. “There’s no negotiating. You either take me to the reunion, or you get out of here.”
He sighed. His words failed again. “Sorry.” He put the candy and flowers on the table.
When he turned to fa
ce her again, her arms were crossed on her chest. She’d obviously forgotten the move caused a tantalizing gap in her robe.
Before attempting to speak again, he did the one thing he’d been longing to do for days. He threaded his fingers into her hair and lowered his lips to hers. How could he expect to live without this?
Her mouth yielded against him and he kissed her with the fervency of every emotion he’d kept bottled up for far too long. When she moaned into his mouth, he knew he had to pull away, or he’d never get around to talking.
He held her at arm’s length and the unfocused look in her eye turned him on. He released a slow breath and concentrated. “Negotiations,” he said, as much to remind himself what his goal was as to clue her in.
She blinked slowly but stepped forward as if to kiss him again. He held fast. “You wanted to talk. I’m talking.”
He dropped her arms and stepped back. His heart kicked up and nerves tingled at the base of his skull. “I love you, Moira.”
Her face melted into all kinds of desire and he gave in and kissed her again. One sweet, swift kiss. He leaned his forehead against hers. “I was an asshole and I should’ve talked to you. Here’s the deal. If this is going to work, no more crazy, dress-up, dangerous stories to chase after. I get that your career is important to you, but I can’t function when I’m worried about you.”
She snorted. “Did you just plagiarize the speech I gave you the other day?”
He smiled, so happy to have her smart-ass comments. “Cut me some slack. I’m new to this whole verbalize every emotion thing. I can’t lose you.”
She started to tear up. “Done.”
“That was too easy.” He pulled back to check to see if she was teasing. She wasn’t.
“After pretending to be an escort, I decided I didn’t like that work. I can’t promise I’ll keep the job I’m doing forever, but I can promise to stay away from dangerous things.” She stepped closer to him and he started to lose his train of thought. “You can’t tell me what stories I can do, but I want to share that part of my life with you.”
Catch Your Breath Page 30