‘Danny is not here either,’ I said sadly.
‘I know. I really thought we would get a visit from him as he never misses a Hogmanay at the Overgate but, to tell the truth, Ann, I’ve hardly set eyes on him this year.’
I told her of my earlier sighting of him. ‘I hope he didn’t see Maddie with Colin. I’m not sure how long he was standing across the road.’
Granny patted my hand. ‘Well, we can’t do any more to help him, Ann, so don’t worry about it.’
But I was worried – especially when he hadn’t turned up here. He always first-footed his grandparents and I couldn’t remember a time when he hadn’t. Was he visiting the Ryan family?
Granny was talking about Bella. ‘Maybe I should have sent her packing when she came to the door but I didn’t have the heart. She is my sister, after all, and we go back a long time together.’
I agreed with her but added, ‘I’m not having her putting wrong ideas in Lily’s head. As you know, we’ve had a terrible time with her and we didn’t know what was wrong.’
‘I’ll make sure she behaves herself in the future, Ann.’ She sat by the side of the bed with a strange faraway look in her eyes. When she spoke it was in a whisper. ‘I’m going to tell you something that not a lot of folk know. She wasn’t always like this. In fact, she was the life and soul of any party and she was such a bonny lassie. Then she lost her fiancé in an accident.’
I gasped. ‘I didn’t know this.’
‘No, she doesn’t like to speak about it. He was a sailor and he was drowned on one of his voyages.’
Suddenly I felt so sorry for Bella. Miss Hood from the Ferry had also lost out on love and so had Bella. What a great shame for them both! They had both dealt with their loss in different ways. Miss Hood with her mental illness that had turned her violent and Bella who was a true hypochondriac with all the imagined worries on her shoulders.
I went to get my coat. The kitchen was still noisy with laughter and singing. Dad was in fine form but I noticed Rosie wasn’t with him. I saw her sitting with Bella and they were having a great conversation by the look of it. I just hoped Rosie wasn’t asking for the same advice she had sought from me. Knowing Bella, her answer would be different from mine.
Now I knew the story of her lost love I felt a deep sympathy for her and all my past annoyance of her evaporated. I went over and took her podgy hand. ‘Happy New Year, Bella.’ I bent over and kissed the dry skin on her cheek.
She looked astonished but her tired eyes lit up. ‘The same to you and Lily.’
I thought there were tears in her eyes but I wasn’t sure. I left her sitting with Rosie and I went through the door. I didn’t go over to Dad because it would mean pushing past a load of people and I didn’t fancy that because they were all in high spirits.
The town was still abuzz with noise and merriment. As I walked along the dark streets I kept bumping into revellers. Thankfully, they were all in good humour but I dreaded meeting any who were really drunk. As it was, I made my way safely home. When I opened the door, I saw a light and I mentally scolded myself for leaving the gas lamp on.
Then I saw him. He was sitting by the fire and gazing into the flames.
‘Danny! What on earth are you sitting here for? Granny is looking for you.’
He turned away from the shadows and I was surprised by his expression. Gone was the haunted look and he seemed to be back to his old self. ‘I didn’t feel like celebrating, Ann. I’ll go over to Lochee as usual but that’s different.’
‘Why is it different, Danny?’
He gave this a bit of thought. ‘Well, I mean it’ll be another day and I know the Ryans will not keep wishing me a happy New Year when I know it’ll not be.’
I understood what he was saying. I had felt the same many a year – starting off with hopes and dreams, only to find the new year wasn’t any better than the old one.
‘Anyway, it’s lovely to see you, Danny.’ I was on the point of asking about the earlier sighting but he beat me to it.
‘I didn’t come over earlier because I saw Maddie.’
My heart sank. Oh no, I thought. What a disaster.
‘I saw her leave with a man. They were fair togged up to the nines, were they not?’
‘Maddie was going to a New Year Ball, Danny. Her parents had asked her to take Colin who’s just started work in her Dad’s office.’
‘Colin,’ he said softly.
‘Aye but it’s just a business arrangement, Danny. She’s not in love with him.’
He changed the subject. ‘I was speaking to your dad tonight and he was telling me about the horrors of the war. He told me to try and forget about my dad and start this year on a new footing.’
So Dad had kept his promise. ‘That’s wonderful, Danny. I’m so pleased you feel like this after all your trauma.’
‘Well, your dad said the whole war was just a catalogue of horrors from start to finish and my dad was just unlucky to have met one horror too many.’
I was delighted by this news. Did it mean the engagement was on again?
As if reading my thoughts he smiled ruefully. ‘You know something, Ann? I was going to get in touch with Maddie this week and beg her to forgive me and try to forget the dirty rotten thing I did to her but I see now that she’s found somebody else.’
I was shocked. ‘No, no, Danny, she hasn’t. You’ve got to believe me.’
‘No, it’s better this way, Ann. She’ll be much happier with somebody from her own class. I’ve aye wondered what she saw in me to tell the truth.’
I wasn’t going to leave it like this. The next day, the first thing I was going to do was visit Perth Road and tell Maddie this good news.
Danny looked at me. He knew what I was thinking. ‘Now, I don’t want you to interfere, Ann. I’ve made up my mind to let Maddie and Colin enjoy their friendship.’ He looked sternly at me. ‘Now promise me.’
Much against my will, I promised. I asked myself why Maddie had to turn up here tonight – and with another man.
Danny gave me a wave as he headed through the door and I had the terrible feeling that 1937 wasn’t going to be a good year for any of us.
With that feeling of foreboding, I went to bed but I certainly didn’t sleep.
At about three o’clock in the morning, Dad arrived with his crowd of pals and they didn’t leave till daylight.
5
I met Maddie at the end of January. It was a cold wet day of squally showers with brief spells of sunshine – more like April than January I thought. Lily had wanted to come with me but she had a bad cold and Granny made her stay inside. I promised her a new colouring book and crayons on my return so she was pleased by this bribe and settled beside the fire.
Our little tearoom was full of people so we headed for the coffee lounge in Draffen’s department store. I hadn’t been back there since my first visit with Maddie a few years ago and I couldn’t help but notice the difference in our roles. On that occasion she had been the one in charge and I had been out of my depth. Now, although she wasn’t out of her depth, it was clear she relied on me to listen to her.
The waitress appeared – a small dumpy-looking woman with frizzy fair hair and round wire-framed glasses. She peered at us. Maddie took ages to make up her mind then I realised her mind was a million miles away.
‘I’ll have a pot of tea, Miss,’ I said, in the hope of bringing Maddie from her daydream. It worked.
‘Coffee please,’ she said.
I could almost hear the waitress mutter about reading the menu like a book then settle on two words. However, I wasn’t here to enjoy the foibles of Draffen’s staff. It was a serious time and I didn’t know what to say to her. I began with the infirmary. ‘What are you doing now, Maddie?’
She shrugged her elegant shoulders as she slipped off the blue woollen coat to reveal a similar coloured dress underneath. It was a colour that suited her fair hair and gave her an angelic appearance.
‘I’m still in the wards
and I have another eighteen months to go before my final exams, Ann.’ She looked unhappy. ‘I have to say I get very sad at some of the cases that come in – especially the children.’
I tried to make her smile. ‘Are you still getting semolina every day for your dinner? And have you made any more bloomers with the patients’ eggs?’
She grinned. ‘Yes to both questions.’
My reference to the eggs stemmed from her first six months in the infirmary when she had mixed up the patients’ eggs which had been brought in by their visitors. One lover of a soft-boiled egg had been given one that resembled a golf ball and Maddie’s mimicry of his outraged expression had me laugh. Once again I thought how long ago it seemed.
She tucked her hands on her lap like a small schoolgirl when the waitress, still muttering softly, placed our order on the table. ‘Will you be wanting anything else?’ she said.
I laughed. ‘Och, just a rich man, a lovely house, bonny bairns and loads of money,’ I said.
The waitress shook her head at us like we were daft and went off towards another table where the occupants looked sane.
‘If you marry Greg, you’ll certainly not be rich,’ said Maddie.
‘Och, I’m just joking. Granny always says, “Marry for love and work for siller”.’
‘Siller?’
‘Aye, it means silver – or money.’
She became serious. ‘Ann, what am I going to do about Danny?’
Although I knew it was coming my mind was still in a turmoil. I longed to tell her the whole story about Danny’s Hogmanay visit but I had made a promise not to interfere and I couldn’t go back on that.
‘Maddie, it’ll just take time – believe me. I know Danny and nobody will ever tell me that he doesn’t love you because I’ll not believe it. I think something happened at his grandad’s funeral that upset him and he’s got to get over it.’ There, I thought, I haven’t told any secrets but maybe this will explain his odd behaviour and strange actions.
‘I would wait for ever for him to come to terms with whatever is bothering him but he won’t confide in me and then he breaks off the engagement so I don’t know what to think. I’m so confused but I’ve made up my mind.’
I was suddenly afraid. ‘What are you going to do, Maddie?’
She opened her small handbag which lay on her lap and she withdrew a small box. ‘I’m going to return the ring,’ she said simply and quietly.
‘Oh, Maddie, don’t do that.’
She shook her head. ‘I have to, Ann. I can’t keep it forever. Anyway, Colin keeps asking me out when I have a day off and I think he’s really keen on me.’
‘Oh, I see.’ I didn’t have an answer. ‘Well, in that case, Maddie, you just have to do what you think is for the best.’
She looked so sad that my heart went out to her. Then, as if her mind was finally made up, she said, ‘Right then, I’ll send it back to him by registered post today.’
I felt just as sad. ‘I’m really sorry it’s come to this, Maddie. I really am.’
She smiled. ‘I know you are, Ann, and I’m grateful that I still have you as my friend.’
We called the waitress over.
‘Are you wanting your bill?’
‘Yes, please,’ said Maddie politely. Her shoulders shaking from suppressed laughter.
When we were outside she said, ‘That waitress was a real tonic for me as I haven’t smiled so much in a long time.’ She linked her arm in mine. ‘Come on, let’s have a good look around the shops – just to cheer ourselves up.’
We spent a couple of hours together but not much more was said about Danny and, although I wanted to say so much, my mind was numb and my tongue speechless.
I bought Lily’s book and crayons, explaining why she couldn’t come.
Maddie apologised for not coming back to the Overgate to see her. ‘I’ve got to get home and visit my parents and Joy. She’s at a small private school and doing well. I hope Lily is getting on fine at school.’
I knew it was all small talk and the real reason she didn’t want to come to the Overgate was in case she ran into Danny. But I understood and we said our goodbyes at the foot of the street.
A burst of sunshine shone in a golden glow over the wet streets but was almost immediately snuffed out by a dark cloud.
Although we made a promise to meet up again soon I had the sad feeling that it would be a long time before we saw one another again. However, we did promise to write. To keep in touch that way was better than nothing and I planned to keep her up to date with any news of the family.
As Maddie had said on parting, ‘We must keep in touch, Ann – whatever happens.’
It had all seemed so final somehow and when she returned Danny’s ring it would be the end of an era. But would it be the end of our friendship? The answer was that I just didn’t know. I wondered what would Danny do now.
I hurried back to the Overgate to find Lily eagerly waiting for me. Granny raised her eyebrows but I decided to keep silent on our conversation – at least for the time being. I still harboured the hope that Danny would come to his senses and pay me another visit.
As it turned out, I didn’t hear from Danny about the ring but Hattie burst in one night when I was at the Overgate.
‘What do you think has happened?’ she snapped at us.
‘Your house has burned down?’ said Granny, jokingly.
‘Oh, it’s much worse than that!’ she cried. ‘Maddie has returned her engagement ring to Danny. Now the engagement will never be on again.’
I was surprised – not by the ring’s return but by the length of time it had taken. I had met Maddie three weeks ago and she was going to post the ring that day, by registered post. Why had it taken so long?
‘Did it come by post, Hattie?’
She gave me a suspicious look. ‘Do you know anything about this, Ann?’ Her voice was stern.
What do I do here? I wondered. Do I tell the truth or do I lie? Suddenly I was totally fed up with all this subterfuge. In my mind, it was so unnecessary. ‘Aye, Hattie, I do.’
Granny stared at me while Hattie looked dumfounded.
I explained. ‘I met Maddie a few weeks ago and she was going to return the ring then. The only thing I can’t understand is why it’s taken so long because she was going to post it that day.’
Hattie’s face turned bright red.
Granny, knowing her so well, said, ‘What are you not telling us, Hattie? I know you’re hiding something.’
She tried bluffing. ‘I don’t know what you mean.’
Granny wasn’t having any of this nonsense. ‘How did you find out about this if the ring was posted to Danny with his name and address on it?’
Her bravery collapsed. ‘It wasn’t posted. It was delivered by hand to Lipton’s shop.’
I was stunned. Surely Maddie didn’t confront Danny and hand over the ring? She had mentioned registered post to me so why had she changed her mind?
Now that Hattie’s bravado was gone, she seemed quite willing to spill the beans. ‘It was delivered by a company – a private courier firm – and Danny had to sign for it.’
Granny gave her a look. ‘Did Danny tell you this himself?’
‘No, he didn’t but I found the box with the letter in his drawer.’
Granny was shocked. ‘Don’t tell me that you look through your laddie’s things, Hattie? I mean he’s a grown man now and he’ll not want his mother poking her nose into his private affairs.’
Hattie flared up. Her eyes were blazing. ‘I was not poking my nose into his drawer.’
But Granny was adamant. ‘Well, how did you manage to find the box and read the letter?’
Hattie was furious now. ‘I didn’t read the letter but I was surprised to see the box. I’ll admit I opened that and saw the ring but that’s all. I then saw the brown envelope showing the name of the private courier and the slip showing Danny’s signature so I put two and two together. I was quite upset I can tell you.’
She wasn’t the only one surprised. What had made Maddie change her mind? She had certainly planned to post it that day. I was sure of that.
‘But that still doesn’t explain what you were doing in the first place.’
Like all guilty people, Hattie was trying to profess her innocence. And, like the guilty, she tried too hard by talking too quickly and overstating every sentence – even repeating herself. Her performance would have been a joy to behold if it hadn’t been so sad.
‘Well, it was like this …’ she chattered on. ‘It was like this. I got a present from Mrs Pringle. It was a pack of lavender-scented drawer linings …’
‘Lavender-scented what?’ asked Granny in amazement.
At any other time, Hattie would have been annoyed at her mother’s lack of social skills and how unacquainted she was with gracious living but not today.
‘They’re scented sheets of paper for putting in your drawers. They make all the contents smell nice. Well, it was like this. I had an extra one over and I thought that Danny might like one so I cleared out his drawer in the tallboy and that’s when I discovered the box with the ring.’ She gazed firmly at her mother. ‘But I did not read any letter. After all, that’s private. Anyway, how was I to know that Maddie had returned the ring?’
Granny said, ‘He probably didn’t want anybody to know about it, Hattie. It’s his own business.’
‘His own business?’ she replied in her cultured voice, her tones so clipped and precise that she could have been giving elocution lessons. ‘For heaven’s sake, I am his mother. Surely he could have told me?’
Granny looked a bit sorry for her. ‘If I was you, Hattie, I would forget about it and make sure he doesn’t get to hear of your snooping. He’ll tell you in his own good time.’
Hattie was almost crying with disappointment. ‘I never thought it would come to this – I thought that, after a few months, he would pull himself together and get back with Maddie. After all, that’s what I had to do – put on a brave face and go back to work so why can’t he? But can Danny do that? No he can’t.’
Towards a Dark Horizon Page 10