by Kylie Parker
“Highland Park is four hours away. It can’t be just because of what happened between me and Anna.” Jimmy thought to himself. “Who knows why that moron is here?”
Andy was telling the truth. Jimmy found him sat on the black, leather couch in his living room.
“Welcome to San Antonio.” He said with a sarcastic smile. “What brings you here?”
“Anna told me everything.” Andy croaked. “You used me, didn’t you?”
“Yep. Anything else?” Jimmy couldn’t wait to get rid of him.
“You should be ashamed of yourself.” Andy raised his tone. “Why, man? Stealing is one thing. But killing people?!”
“Shut the fuck up, you degenerate gambler!” Jimmy yelled, his stentorian voice bouncing off the walls of the corridor and the stairs. “Your sister’s been taking her clothes off for years, trying to pay off your gambling debt!”
“I don’t kill people!” Andy cried.
“You’ve ruined her life!” Jimmy added. He was so upset that the vein on the left side of his forehead was about to explode. “What the hell are you doing here, Andy? You didn’t drive all the way from Dallas just to tell me off, did you?”
“I’ve come here to talk to you about two things.” He lowered his tone. “One: My sister’s in pretty bad shape. She won’t eat. She barely sleeps. She won’t go to work, either.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Jimmy said. “She chose this. Not me.”
“What the hell was in that letter, man?” Andy wondered. “She reads it all day long. She won’t let me read it.”
“It’s personal.” Jimmy stated. “Why else did you come here?”
“I don’t think I can pay them off in time, Jimmy.” Andy sighed. “I have until September 15th.”
Jimmy clenched his fists. He could not believe that Anna’s brother was there to borrow money. Helping St. Mary’s orphanage was one thing. Lending money to Andy was completely different. Boiling with rage, he took three, slow steps towards him, with his hands on his waist.
“So let me get this straight.” He said. “You come here, you insult me and then you’re asking me to lend you money?”
“Pretty much.” Andy confirmed with a nod. “Sorry, man. I didn’t mean to ins…”
Jimmy didn’t allow him to finish his sentence. He grabbed Andy by the shoulders and violently pulled him up. A strong push to the left sent him ten feet across the living room. Andy did not stay in balance. He landed hard on his right side, narrowly avoiding a foot of a stool that was lying on the floor.
“I’m not going to rough you up.” Jimmy grumbled. “God knows I want to, but I won’t. I don’t want Anna to see you like that. Now, get out of here, before I change my mind.”
“Fine.” Andy coughed, putting his hands on the floor to support his weight. He started towards the door, but all of a sudden, he stopped.
“I almost forgot.” He said, turning around to face Jimmy again. Andy pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it over to him. “She wanted me to give you this.”
Jimmy unfolded the piece of paper. It was a letter from Anna. Some parts of it were smudged with tears.
“Jimmy Holden. Or perhaps I should call you ‘the man of many faces’. Because that’s what you are.
I’ve read that letter of yours a hundred times. Sometimes, I don’t think you wrote it. If you hadn’t mentioned some of the things you’ve said to me, I would be sure you didn’t. Because the man who wrote that letter and the one I dated can’t be the same man who killed six people. He was great to me. He made me laugh. He was romantic, although he didn’t want to admit it. His kiss took my breath away that night at the club. I thought he’d start to grab me. Why wouldn’t he? He’s a guy. Most guys can’t keep their hands to themselves. But he didn’t. He respected me. That’s why I fell in love with him. There’s no point in denying it now. People don’t cry over losing someone they don’t care for. And I do care for you, Jimmy.
Does falling in love with a killer make me a bad person? I don’t think so. Not when he looks like you, talks like you and does the things you did for me. I haven’t seen Ben since the night you left. I’m guessing he took off.
I wish I didn’t know, Jimmy. But I can’t be with a man, knowing he’s responsible for so much suffering.
You asked me to take good care of myself. I’m sorry, I can’t do that. Not right now. The pain is still too fresh. I wish you were here. See the love in my eyes. Hold me. Tell me it’s alright. Feel my heart beating for you… But, you were nothing but a dream. Dreams don’t last long.
Anna
Chapter Twenty-One
Understandably, Anna’s letter moved him. As usual, she was honest. However, as much as Jimmy wanted to see her again, he would not return to Highland Park. An emotional meeting would only worsen their pain. After all, Anna had been very clear: She could not be with him.
Jimmy now had a reason to stay in San Antonio. For some reason, he felt connected to baby Anna. However, if he wanted to watch her grow up or win back the woman who had captured his heart, he had to stop being an outlaw. Sooner or later, he would make a mistake and end up in prison. Furthermore, if anyone found out about what he had done, they would most like turn their back on him. It was then that Jimmy realized that he had to find a job. The idea of earning minimum wage did not sound appealing. The money he would make would barely be enough for rent, but Jimmy was determined to put his old life behind him. He had no idea whether he would find love again or not, but he didn’t want to go through everything that he had been through with Anna ever again.
Two days later, at a café in downtown San Antonio, he caught a glimpse of Marty and Nicolas, walking down the street side by side, dressed up and tanned. Neither of them had bothered to call and inform him of their return, but this was not what troubled Jimmy. It had been ten days since they left Highland Park. They had been talking about a long vacation. Something had brought them back in San Antonio. It had to be very important for them to cut their vacation short.
They smiled down at Jimmy, spotting him at a table outside of the large café. Jimmy knew that their reunion would turn quite a few heads, but he did not mind. He had missed their loud mannerisms.
“Jimmy!” Marty cheered, opening his arms.
“Hey, big man!” Nicolas said with a grin.
“My two hoodlums are back.” Jimmy hummed, rising from his seat. “No hugging. We’re in a public place. Sit down.”
Neither of them liked what they had just heard, but despite that, they did as they were told and sat on Jimmy’s left and right.
“How was the Caribbean? Did you have fun?” Jimmy asked.
“It was amazing, brother.” Martin winked at him. “Sunshine, great beaches… The ladies were everywhere.”
“Don’t remind me, Marty.” Nicolas complained. “I miss it already.”
“You guys said that you’d be away for a while.” Jimmy remarked. “Why did you come back so soon?”
“I was going to call you.” Marty claimed, leaning towards Jimmy. “A friend of mine said that Universal Bank is moving loads of cash out of Houston tomorrow night. If he’s right, there could be more than ten million in that truck.”
“I smell a rat.” Jimmy murmured. “Banks don’t move that kind of cash on Tuesdays.”
“I asked my friend in Houston about that. He said they’re doing it because two of that bank’s branches shut down last week.” Martin explained.
“Bullshit.” Jimmy was not convinced. “They could take that money to their main branch in Houston. Why are they moving it out? I mean, where are they taking it?”
“He’s sending me the itinerary this afternoon.” Martin replied. “It’s a lot of money, Jimmy. It’s the chance of a lifetime. Are you in?”
“No.” Jimmy whispered, shaking his head sideways. “I don’t need to tell you how dangerous this is. First of all, we can’t plan it in a day. We got a lot of recon to do and there’s not enough time. I’m not buying what you said
about that bank. Banks move money before the weekend, not on Tuesdays. And last but not least, I’m out.”
“Are you crazy?” Marty’s voice got high-pitched. “This is a tremendous opportunity! You’re out? When the hell did you decide that?”
“An opportunity for what? For us to get arrested? Shot, maybe?” Jimmy squinted at him. “I said I’m out, boys. You can do this if you like. But you’ll have to do it without me.”
“Dude, what are you talking about?” Nicolas interjected. “We can’t do this without you. You know that.”
“Don’t make me repeat myself.” Jimmy spoke in a firm tone, averting his gaze from Nicolas. “Do you trust that friend of yours?” He inquired, turning to Marty.
“I’ve known him for six years.” He said. “He’s never lied to me.”
“Then ask him to help you guys out.” Jimmy advised.
“I’m not doing this without you, Jimmy.” Martin continued. “You’re the only one I trust.”
“Thanks. But like I said, I’m out. Don’t be stupid, boys. Stay away from this. It’s a trap” Jimmy advised.
“I’ll take my chances.” Nicolas spoke his mind.
“Nicolas, when was the last time we planned a heist in a day?” Jimmy interjected a question. Nicolas glanced across at Marty but he soon turned his away from his intense stare.
“That’s right. Never.” Jimmy answered his own question. “Marty, have we ever robbed a truck on a Tuesday?”
“No. We always rob them on Friday nights.” Marty replied.
“Best of luck, boys.” Jimmy patted Marty on the back and then did the same to Nicolas. Neither of them spoke any further. They chose to leave his table. Within seconds, Jimmy was all alone.
“Those two are too stupid and too greedy to believe that this is not a good idea. It looks like they’ve not learned anything all this time. Too bad. I just hope they don’t rat me out. Go ahead and rob that truck, you morons. Just remember to say ‘hi’ to the prison guards for me.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Jimmy continued to look for a job, but, as he soon realized, it was in vain. He kept asking around, but no one would hire him. Jimmy even asked if he could work as a cashier in fast food restaurants, but the managers told him that he was a little too old for the job. Frustrated, but unwilling to give up just yet, he visited baby Anna. Sister Margaret’s warm welcome gave him a reason to smile. She had informed the other nuns about Jimmy’s donation. One by one, they all thanked him.
Still, Jimmy was lonely. He had more money than he could spend, but the emptiness that he felt in his heart was overwhelming. Jimmy found himself missing the peace and quiet of Highland Park, but, more than anything, he missed Anna. Her warm embrace had given his life a meaning. Jimmy did exactly what she had done: He kept reading her letter. Reading her words made him feel closer to her. Nevertheless, a few sentences put together on a piece of paper, however warm or passionate were merely a cheap substitute. They could not mend his broken heart. Anna’s harsh words on the morning of his confession haunted his mind. Jimmy had no way of escaping the forced solitude that had taken up with him.
Looking out the balcony door of his second story apartment the following night, he sensed the moisture of his hot tears, as they streamed down his cheeks. Jimmy was still in denial. He believed that at some point, Anna would knock on his door.
“Come back to me, my sweet Anna.” His voice was a pleading whisper.
“Where are you, baby? Looking up in the sky will never feel the same again. Not without you by my side. And the stars in San Antonio seem paler. Fewer. Come tell me more about them. I don’t know any asterisms. Then, put your head on my shoulder and talk to me all night long. I promise I won’t touch you. You can tell me every little detail of your life. I just want to hear your voice. Your beautiful, melodic voice, Anna. Just that.”
The sound of his doorbell interrupted his thoughts. Much to his surprise, it was Sister Margaret, with a brown paper bag in her hand. He had seen her a few hours ago.
“Good evening, my dear Jimmy.” She smiled up at him. Yet, Jimmy’s teary eyes wiped the smile off of her aging face. “What’s wrong, child? Are you crying?”
“Come on in, Sister.” Jimmy croaked, clearly uncomfortable with her question. “What can I do for you?”
Sister Margaret stepped into his living room. She then handed over the paper bag to Jimmy. It contained a dark-green scarf.
“I knitted this for you.” She claimed. “It’s just a small token of my appreciation.”
“Thanks.” Jimmy muttered under his breath.
“It’s not my place to ask, but…” Sister Margaret faltered. “Her name is Anna, isn’t it? The woman who broke your heart?”
“Yeah.” He nodded.
“It only took me a few seconds to figure it out.” She said. “Is she local?”
“She’s from a small town outside Dallas. Highland Park.” Jimmy replied. “Not that it matters, anyway.”
“Oh, but it does, child. Everything matters. The tiniest of details can make a difference.” Sister Margaret stated. “I won’t ask any details. You’re obviously not in a talkative mood. But it seems to me that you are very much in love with her.”
“What gave me away?” Jimmy got sarcastic.
“You’re fragile, Jimmy.” She ignored him. “I could tell that from the moment I heard your condition. What you did was very noble. But, most men your age don’t try to emotionally attach themselves to an infant. You seek love; you want to feel loved.”
“Don’t we all?” He smiled, bitterly.
“No.” Sister Margaret rejected that notion. “People need love. But not all of them seek it. I don’t know what happened between you two, Jimmy. You don’t need to tell me. I just think you should do whatever it takes to win her back. And when you do, hold on to her. Does she know about baby Anna?”
“She doesn’t.” Jimmy said. “Nobody knows about this.”
“I’m sure it would make her heart melt. You should tell her.” She advised.
“Do you think that a man can be saved?” He changed the subject completely.
“Excuse me?” Sister Margaret sounded surprised.
“You used to say that ‘criminals should burn in hell.’ Did you really believe that or were you just trying to scare us off?” Jimmy inquired.
“Oh, my God.” She laughed. “You remember that?”
Jimmy nodded.
“I wasn’t trying to scare you.” She admitted. “I was just trying to say that people live by their choices. Decent men take pride in the good they do. Criminals live with the consequences of their crimes. Heaven and hell are within us, Jimmy. I’m sure you felt wonderful when you were with her. Take a look at you now.”
At that moment, his cell phone rang. A woman from his past was on the other end of the line: Emily Paxton. They had grown up together in the orphanage and they had stayed in touch over the years. She was a folk singer. Due to the nature of her job though, Jimmy had not seen her in more than two years.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Jimmy!” She chirped. “How are you? I’m at Donny’s. I’m about to go live. You know where it is?”
“Hey, Emily. I’m fine. Yeah, it’s on Grayson.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t call earlier, but my agent only booked this place this afternoon. I just got here. Can you come over?”
“Sure. See you later.”
“Old friend?” Sister Margaret asked with a grin.
“Emily Paxton. I’m sorry, Sister. I got to go.” Jimmy said.
“Give her my best. Have fun.” She muttered. “Please don’t forget what I said. Whatever it takes.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Emily Paxton had been working as a waitress at clubs for a few years, before her agent, Wayne Clarkson discovered her talent. She was by no means a world famous musician, but she was starting to make a name for herself, loved what she did and enjoyed a comfortable life. Performing throughout the States took up a lot of en
ergy. She could not stay in one place for more than a few days at a time, but becoming a singer was her childhood dream. Unlike Jimmy, Emily did not have any trouble with the law, but she did know what he did. She didn’t like it; she had told him many times in the past to quit that life, but Jimmy did not listen to her. Nevertheless, they were very close.
Donny’s live music club was a large, stylish place in downtown San Antonio, with a long history of helping young artists like Emily promote their work. The blue, flashing-neon on the outside acted like a magnet to music enthusiasts. Life-size posters of famous singers, like Bob Dylan, Joan Baez and Johnny Cash decorated the stone walls. The massive spotlight that followed performers on stage gave it an old fashioned, romantic feeling.
Jimmy had to battle with the heavy traffic; by the time he arrived at Donny’s, Emily’s concert had already started and the music club was almost packed. The only table available was the one in the lower left corner, more than seventy feet away from the stage. Jimmy could barely see his 5’6”, blonde, 28-year old friend and there was no overhead spotlight, like in most tables. Still, he was happy to finally leave his apartment. He appreciated the rare chance of listening to her voice. They could catch up after her concert.
Sat on a tall stool, in the middle of the stage, with her natural, acoustic guitar in her hands, Emily gave a powerful, sensual performance that night. Her deep, feminine voice, full of passion and conviction, sent chills down Jimmy’s spine. That very picture reminded him of the day when Sister Maria had given her a guitar for her eleventh birthday. Emily was ecstatic. She was all smiles, kissing every child around her and even tried to play something, but she had failed miserably, complaining that her fingers were sore after a few minutes.