He was angry, scratch that he, was murderous. He tried and failed to keep his voice calm.
“No one,” I tell him.
“Don’t fuck with me right now little Dove.” He spits the words angrily.
“Is it little love or little Dove?” I asked trying to distract him
“Both. Don’t try to change the subject, it won’t work,” he told me.
Closing my mouth, I sat there and stared at him. What the fuck do I say? How much do I share?
“Who is he and why is he protecting her?” He demands.
I opened my mouth, but he cut me off.
“And who the fuck are they the ones who will never let you go?” Kell, asked.
My fingers connect with the chain around my neck involuntarily. His eyes follow the move. He heard everything. Fuck! What was I going to do?
“That man in the shack… he hurt someone really bad, and she killed him,” I tell him hesitantly
He nodded, waiting for me to continue.
“I helped her and was trying to cover it up,” I continued.
“And Sam?” He asks.
He was going along with it. Maybe this would be enough.
“He was a friend from my past like a brother, he went to get her and find her a safe place,” I tell him.
His shoulder relaxed at the word brother. Time to change the subject.
“I thought I heard the shower. I’m feeling particularly messy…” I tell him with a smile.
His smile was full of mischief, and I knew I succeeded. His fingers grabbed mine before he pulled me to my feet.
“I wanted to clean you,” He tells me.
I smiled and blushed at the same time.
“I can do it myself,” I say.
“I know that little love, but I want to take care of you,” he replies.
When was the last time someone took care of me? I honestly couldn’t think of a time. Not even one. Sighing, I let him drag me to the bathroom.
It was a happy sigh. I kind of felt like Cinderella. This was my fairytale. Every bloody dark piece of it.
Chapter 23
Texas
I remember what it felt like, the guilt, I mean. The first time I took a life, the first time I made the decision to see it through, was the first day it became difficult to breathe.
Each breath brought the faint stench of death. The coolness of the lifeless body chilled the air. It was something that never truly leaves you. The warmth was stripped slowly, and soon the heat was a distant dream.
Each death stripped me of the comfort that life had to offer. The very things people take for granted.
Things like an easy smile, or sweet fresh air that was so easy to inhale. The innocence was what I missed the most.
The world became dull like muddied watercolors. The world lost its luster. Kell’s touch brought an odd sense of relief and belonging. It was both exhilarating and terrifying.
He soothed that guilt. His possessive attitude warmed the cold that had taken a hold of me. He made me feel something I fought so hard against.
He quickly became the one thing in this world that I wanted more than my freedom. He was becoming the person that I would stand and fight for.
I knew that I could never tell him my story. It wasn't a fairy tale, it was far from one. Although, I wanted the ball with the pretty dresses and the beautiful music. I wanted Prince Charming to kiss away all the terrible things I've done.
I wanted what he was silently offering me. He wanted me to be his. He needed a strong woman at his side, and I could do that. But he could never know the extent of how strong I could be. How I could coldly kill or how I could slowly torture answers from someone.
I was a monster looking for the light. Begging for the storm to pass. I also knew that he was a monster too.
It was like he knew I was being sucked away. Pulled into the darkness of memories. Kell cupped my face gently between his large, strong hands. His lips pressed to my forehead, my nose and then my lips.
With each sweet kiss I sighed and some of the tension that had overtaken me, slowly release. Why did his touch soothe me? His sweet attention drew me back to the light. I knew who he was. The kinds of things that he did, but still he was my lighthouse in the dark, unforgiving waters.
All too soon he was pulling away from me, and the loss was like a band-aid being ripped away. Leaving the wound exposed and throbbing. It pulsed harder and reminded me that it would never heal and that it would never leave. It was a part of me that would never fully scar over.
I was sucked in again. It was kill number thirty-three. So many numbers, so many lives. This lady was a hooker. Her rich, high up in the government lover didn't take to kindly to blackmail.
He wanted her to be an example. One that I was all too happy to oblige him with. By that time, I was already jaded and lost.
I gave humanity the finger, and let it strip me bare. I was a robot for about fifty more kills after this. It hit one day that I could not relish in what I was doing, and I was already going down that fucked up road.
Her death was the first of many sweet ones. I enjoyed it a little. She screamed for hours as I toyed with her. Not once did I puncture anything important. Instead, I let her bleed to death. It was slow and painful.
My skin became chilled whenever I thought about those dark times. Those were the times I hated myself the most. She didn't really deserve what she got. A victim of circumstance just like me. She got the shit end of the long stick.
People called it the short straw, but truthfully it was the long one. Short meant it ended quickly, but for people like us it was the long game.
She was looking for freedom just like I was, and she was closer than I had ever gotten. Well, until I killed her.
"Darlin?" Kell, asked.
I look up at Kell who was now standing, leaning over me. I didn't notice him leave the bed. I was so sucked in I didn't feel the bed move.
I blink at him like an owl. His eyes were concerned.
"You did the right thing," he tells me.
Huh? Oh, he thought I was stuck on Lexa and what happened. I just nodded. He's right, I know I did, but that wasn't what was eating at me, and I knew I couldn't lie to him.
Chapter 24
Kell
I left her sitting on our bed. His face troubled even though I wanted nothing more than to kiss away whatever was tearing into her.
I wanted to kill whatever was darkening her day. I couldn’t fight what wasn’t there. Ivan was standing by the door, and his face was carefully blank.
He had questions. I knew he wanted to know who the fuck she really was and why she was there.
“She was protecting someone,” I tell Ivan.
I could tell he didn’t believe that was the whole truth. Maybe I was stuck on the fact that I had finally found her and couldn’t see the whole picture.
But I didn’t give two flying fucks. Texas was up there dwelling on the past. She needed to get herself something to wear.
“She needs clothes,” I tell him.
I handed Ivan the black American Express card and went into my office. He knew what to do, and I knew he was going to be pissed about babysitting.
I trusted no one else with her though. Her safety was top fucking priority.
“Boss?” Ivan asked.
“Keep her close,” I tell him.
“Fuck!” He grumbled, and I laughed loud and hard as I continue to my office. I had shit that needed to be sorted, and Ivan was needed elsewhere.
If I were a lesser man, I wouldn’t have found humor in the situation, but Ivan was more than my employee. He was family. Laughing at family was what made the day better.
I sighed in frustration as my ass hit the leather chair. My phone was already ringing.
“What?” I asked my voice filled with frustration.
“The shipment is light,” Jacob, tells me.
Anger consumed me.
“What the fuck do you mean light?” I demand.
“How many?” I ask.
“Five,” he replies.
It wasn’t much, but that wasn’t the fucking point. I wanted to steer this family to more legitimate dealings, but the gun trade was ingrained in this family.
I was never going to be fully out. The phone creaked under the pressure, and any good feelings Texas gave me, vanished.
“Show them the error,” I tell him.
“Yes, boss,” he replies in a cold voice.
“Make them an example, don’t fuck with the Valisks,” I demand.
“Yes, boss,” he said ice sliding into his voice.
Slamming the phone into its cradle, I snarled in anger and frustration. I wanted one fucking day that shit went smooth.
Chapter 25
Texas
Shopping wasn’t a big thing on my list to do. It wasn’t something I enjoyed doing, at all. I didn’t know what to get. Most of my closet had been filled with what they thought I should wear.
“Ivan?” I ask.
“Boss?” Ivan, replies.
Sighing, I turn to him. I fucking told him five times already I wasn’t his boss and my name was Texas.
“Stop calling me that!” I demand.
I stomp my foot like an overindulgent child, I watched as his lip twitch. He was doing it to piss me off.
“What the fuck do I need to buy?” I ask him.
He looked at me in confusion. I let something slip through the cracks, and he was just fucking observant enough to pick it up. I had no fucking clue how to shop like a woman.
“Dresses, jeans, shoes, makeup and everything else women like to wear,” he tells me.
Looking to my feet, I pressed the toe of my converse into the floor.
“Not sure what that is,” I reply in both humor and embarrassment.
An odd noise came from deep within his throat. My eyes darted to his face. The pity I read there was hard to swallow.
“Let’s see what we can do?” He said it like a question, and I smiled for the first time since Kell, told me I needed a wardrobe. He was going to navigate these horrible waters with me.
“Thanks, Ivan, you’re a good man,” I tell him.
I patted his arm and watched in utter fascination as he began to blush. I wouldn’t laugh. I chanted the words and turned from him, so he didn’t see the smile I was sure covered my face.
A lady appeared, and she was looked me over me. Her baize eyes judging and I could see her opinion form, and she didn’t see any dollar signs. Only the off chance I was here to steal some of this overpriced shit. Her hand shifted into her red hair as she looked me up and down again.
“Wal-Mart is a few towns over.”
Her voice was disgusted, and I had a moment where I felt small and unworthy. Ivan’s, large frame stepped in between us. Anger had his body stiffer than normal.
“Give her the best this store has to offer. If it doesn’t meet the standards, there are plenty of other places that would love to take care of Mr. Valisk’s woman.” Ivan, demanded quietly.
Her gasp was loud, and I could almost smell her fear.
“Fuck this, get lost! I want someone more qualified to take care of her needs,” Ivan growled.
Pressing my hand to his back in a silent thank you, I fought back the tears that wanted to spill all over my face. No one had ever stood up for me before.
No one has ever cared. Honestly, I was slightly ashamed she got to me. I was a strong woman, and I let her words tear into me. Her heels clicked on the floor as she ran away from us.
Ivan chuckled, and if I were a better person, I wouldn’t have joined in.
“Fucking bitch almost pissed herself.” Ivan, said.
I laughed harder.
“Thank you, Ivan,” I tell him sincerely.
“Anytime sweetheart,” he replies in a warming tone.
I made another friend. Two this week alone. I couldn’t count Kell as a friend, he was more than that.
Chapter 26
Ivan
That bitch deserved to be put in her place. I was angry, and I was stuck watching the little princess. She took my views and twisted them.
One moment, I thought she was going to be all squeals and that she needed this and that. But, she was quick to prove me wrong. There was more to her than what meets the eyes.
Her confession about her lack of shopping experience warmed me a little. She was embarrassed, and I could see what the boss sees in her.
She was a mixture of innocence and vixen. Most women worked for that, but it was seamless and honest with her. When the lady spewed that bullshit about Wal-Mart, I wanted to punch the bitch in her face.
I had never wanted to put my hands on a woman before. Texas stiffened, and I could see the words hit the mark. She was already unsure of herself, and those protective instincts rushed to the surface.
The day flew, and I realized what a lucky bastard Kell was. She would go into the dressing room change and ask my opinion like I had a pussy and not a dick.
Instead of telling her that Kell didn’t give two shits, I told her the truth. When it was time to get her undergarments, I drew the line.
I told her to go grab what she wanted, but I couldn’t watch. So instead I gave the saleswoman a good hard look.
“Fucking watch her! If anything happens, it’s your fucking ass,” I growl at her.
She gulped, but nodded her blond head quickly, rushing to Texas as she weaved through the delicate undergarments. Turning my back, I grab my phone. Sending a quick message to Kell.
She’s getting the delicate shit.
I shuddered as I hit send.
Keep her in sight. Kell, replied.
Scanning the room, I watched as she heads in the direction of the dressing rooms, again.
Not sure I can do that, boss. She’s headed into the dressing room with lacey things. I text him.
I’ll take your fucking eyes. He replies.
I laughed to myself and slipped my phone back into my pocket. He was pacing his office right now thinking of all the ways to kill me.
Five minutes and still no sign of her. I slowly I walked in the direction that she went. My gut clenched when I noticed the woman who was helping Texas, sprawled on the floor behind the clothing rack of unwanted try on clothes.
Kicking the stalls open I found them empty. One of Texas’s shoes were laying on the floor, which told me she didn’t leave freely. Fuck!
Quickly calling Kell, I fought the need to tear the store apart. Running from the building I scanned the parking lot. Nothing.
“Ivan, I swear… I will pluck those fucking baby blues from your head.” Kell, shouted.
“She’s gone, boss,” I tell him darkly.
“What the fuck do you mean gone?” He demanded.
“Someone took her, boss,” I tell him quietly.
Chapter 27
Texas
I wasn’t sure how much time passed. The dark did that to you. I was trapped in this cold, damp room with no light. I could hear fighting behind the door.
They weren’t on the same page about what to do with me. One wanted to take me back home and condition me. They wanted me to go back to doing my job.
The other wanted to train me and put me up for sale. Both sides agreed on one thing, they wanted to break me. I knew from the conversations that my family were here.
Meals were never on target, so I couldn’t pinpoint the days. I knew it’s been a long time. My tummy revolted again, and I puked in the corner.
The stench of vomit, piss, and shit saturated the air. They didn’t even give me a bucket. I was thankful dehydration was kicking in.
The door opened, and a woman screamed as she was pushed into the room. The light hurt my eyes. My ankle was chained to the floor, and my hands were cuffed in front of me.
“Please, let me go,” the woman, begged.
I expected tears and maybe more begging, but she just slid down the wall a few feet away. The door slammed closed again.
“What day is it?” I ask her.
She screamed again, and I cringed. The sound hurt my now sensitive ears. Being in the dark lessened my senses, but now they started to work in full gear. Some of my other senses becoming more prominent.
“Who are you?” she demanded.
“Date please,” I demand.
“The 17th,” she replies.
“Of?” I ask.
“June,” she replies.
Closing my eyes, I did the mental math. I’m sure it was April when I was shopping so it’s been weeks? Months?
“What are you in for?” I ask her.
“I don’t know,” She replies.
“I’m Texas,” I tell her.
“Layla,” she replies sweetly.
“Am I going to die in here Texas?” She asks fear laced through her voice.
I wasn’t going to lie, not to either one of us.
“We both are,” I tell her no point in sugar coating it.
“Oh, god,” she cried.
I expected fireworks or an explosion of tears and screams for help. Her silence was the complete opposite.
“I just didn’t want to marry him,” she says into the silence.
I felt bad for her. Marriage. She was here because of marriage.
“Who?” I ask.
“Some gangster,” she replies through her tears.
Ah, I get it.
“Yeah, I guess, we’re both the same and yet so different. I wanted my gangster to find me, and you want yours to let you go.” I tell her with the humor of the situation loud and clear to hear.
Her laughter was infectious. I know they wanted to break us, but I wasn’t going out like that.
“I just wanted to work at the school take care of my class and live my life. I never meant to draw his attention.” She tells me.
“It doesn’t change that you did,” I tell her.
“I know,” she replies.
“Tell me about yourself,” I ask her.
KELL (The Valisk Family Series Book 1) Page 6