by Aja Cole
Part of me expected that he wouldn’t text me back.
I wouldn’t have blamed him at all, considering my initial reaction was probably highly confusing and unreasonable to him.
But something about making it real…it just killed the whole fantasy for me and the fantasy of Cole was something I really didn’t want to lose.
It’s why I was sitting there, pinching and playing with my nipples like he told me to. The bite of pain when he told me to grip them harder had me squirming, the ache that seemed to never go away intensifying.
Mmm, and with Greyson in the next room…let’s just say my body felt hotter than ever.
“Show me your pussy. Let me see if it’s wet already. Are you wet, baby?” his voice is a low growl and it slides over me like melted butter.
All I can do is nod as I move back on the bed, leaning on my headboard to keep me upright while I spread my legs. Completely open to his view, I feel vulnerable in a way I know would only be intensified if he was here.
That’s why this is safe.
Cole’s the type a guy that I could lose myself in. And I can’t let that happen, so we have to keep things as they are.
I’m definitely wet and only getting slicker by the second. I can see stubble on his hard jawline, but not the rest of his face because of the angle. I loved stubble on a guy. The last time I remember seeing a picture of him, he’d been clean shaven and it gave him a sort of boyish look. But now he seemed all man. Light glides over the muscles of his chest, and I wish I could reach through the screen and spend a lot of time on every inch of his skin.
“Spread your lips with one hand, and hold your middle finger over your clit, but don’t do anything else.”
I obey, resisting the urge to stroke my clit. It’s hard, my hand being on my cunt but not being in control of what I can do. I could break his rule, but then it wouldn’t be nearly as fun. The tease made me want it so much more.
I wait in that lewd position, with him watching me as he pushes down his pants and I hear the small flop as his hard cock pops onto his stomach. Seeing it finally, my hips buck up like it’s right there for my taking and I hear his low laugh.
“You could have it if you really wanted it.”
“Don’t tempt me. I’m horny enough to make a decision I might regret.” I warn, hoping he puts me out of my misery as I watch him grip the base of his dick with a large hand. Shit, I wish it was mine. Would it really be so bad to see him...?
Before I can tell him that maybe we can talk about meeting up, I see him look up and I hear some sniffing sounds before he speaks. “Hey, one second. I’ll be right back. Don’t you dare move.”
I feel a little ridiculous sitting in front of an empty screen holding my labia open, but I do it. I have my earphones in, so I’m startled when I hear the sharp beep of the smoke detector through the earbuds.
Damn, I hope nothing’s burning of his.
Then I realize that the reason the sound is so sharp is because it’s happening in real time. As in, my smoke detector is beeping loudly too. Throwing off my earphones, I grab a robe and jerk my door open to go to the kitchen.
Greyson’s already there, waving smoke away from the oven, and taking out the burnt cookies I’d forgotten about.
The cookies are the last thing on my mind though, because I notice the computer through Greyson’s open door. And things start to fall into place like the worst puzzle.
Greyson seeming nervous when he met me.
Cole saying he would be visiting his sister.
Greyson being Faith’s brother.
Faith mentioning her brother’s middle name was Cole.
Me thinking there was something familiar about Greyson.
The blood’s rushing in my ears and I don’t even register that Greyson, or Cole, is standing right in front of me until he waves a hand in my face.
“You okay, Daya?”
“Am I okay?” I echo. The absurdity of the question just pisses me off. “Why the fuck would I be okay, Greyson? Or do you like to go by Cole?” I can feel my mouth twisting into an ugly sneer. I’m so…disgusted.
He steps away from me immediately, eyes wide and I know then that he knew exactly who I was and hadn’t said a damn thing.
Part of me wanted to rail at him, let him know exactly what I thought about him being so shady.
Another part…Another part was just tired. Tired and disillusioned and disappointed. I knew that there was no way it could end in anything good. And Greyson had just underlined exactly why I’d wanted to keep things separate from our real lives.
So I just turned around and went back to my room. Locking the door, I pulled out my phone and deleted everything “Cole” related. His number, snaps, pictures, messages. He’d be at Faith’s for one more week and then I’d be rid of him.
I could ignore him that long.
After I’d locked my door, Greyson had knocked for a bit, pleading with me to come out but I’d put on my earphones and cranked up some John Legend. As far as I was concerned, there was nothing to say. I must’ve fallen asleep because my earphones had died and the sun was shining through my blinds when I blinked awake.
Greyson is Cole.
Cole is Greyson.
It felt like there was a thundercloud over my head as I took a shower, numbly going through the motions. I didn’t even flinch when I nicked my leg with the razor. Or my underarms. Or my bikini line.
I was over everything.
Something that should’ve been simple and complication free was now sleeping in the next room. And he was my good friend’s older brother. I didn’t even want to think about the things I’d shown him.
This kind of shit would only happen to me.
Every adage about things that happened in the dark coming to light, and not sending things you wouldn’t be comfortable seeing blown up somewhere flew threw my head.
Lesson learned.
Shrugging on a large t-shirt over my bra and pulling on some sweatpants, I grabbed my glasses from the nightstand as I passed it. I had some reading to do today about a company that wanted me to do some social media work for them.
For the first time, I wished that my work wasn’t so flexible; that I had an actual job to go into just so I didn’t have to know that Greyson was around. But maybe I’d get lucky, and today was another day that he had to go do rehab or something or other. The season wasn’t that far away apparently.
Yeah, so I’d looked up a few things when Faith told me what he did. Sue me.
Made me remember that I definitely hadn’t known “Cole” played hockey.
I ground my jaw, pushing the thought away as I took a deep breath. Plenty to do today, and it wouldn’t help me any to mull over my anger just yet.
I sighed as I opened my door, but I jumped back as something fell in.
“Did you sleep outside my door?” I scowled, feeling no sympathy as Greyson squinted at me, pushing himself off the floor where he’d fallen back.
“Yeah,” he croaked out, crossing his arms as he stood at full height, “I didn’t want to miss you.”
“Too damn bad, because if this wasn’t Faith’s place, I’d kick you out without a second thought. I’ve not a single thing to say to your lying ass.” I went to push past him, but he blocked me and he wasn’t exactly just a guy I could move without causing myself physical pain. I knew he was 6’2” to my 5’6” and he was all muscle, unfortunately. “Move.”
“No.”
“I don’t have time to play any more games with you, Greyson Cole. Which name do you prefer, by the way? Or maybe you’ve got some split personality and you enjoy being both.” I grit out, wondering if I should take my chances at trying to barrel into him to get past him. It might hurt but at least he’d be out of my way. I’d heal, right?
“Just let me explain, Daya.”
“What exactly would you be explaining? Why you’ve probably known who I was from the beginning but didn’t think to mention it? Why you let me text you last night and still didn’t say any
thing? Why you didn’t give me your first name? Why you didn’t mention Faith? Are you going to give me some paltry excuse like you were waiting for the right time? Some explanations that won’t make me feel uncomfortable in my home? What kind of explanation are you going to give me Greyson, I’m all ears. Truly!” I was ranting, and I didn’t care.
I was angry, but I was also slightly terrified. I’d shared things with him that I hadn’t with anyone else because I thought that it was safe. I thought I’d never have to look him in the eye. And to make it even worse, I knew that the person I was in every-day life was nothing like the girl I was when I was talking to him. Instead of being “Daya, that sexy girl I’m talking to” – I was back to being “Daya, the nerdy introvert.” He’d taken that away from me.
“To be fair, it’s not like you wanted to know anything about me other than what my body looked like.”
“You agreed to that! We both agreed to that when we started talking, that it would be fun sexting and nothing more. Mostly anonymous.”
“Exactly. So that’s why I gave you my middle name instead of my first name. That’s why I never mentioned much about my family or sent you full face pictures. You didn’t want that from me.”
I crossed my arms, mirroring his stance so that I didn’t claw his face. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt such pure rage and disbelief rising inside me. I liked things simple. This wasn’t fucking simple, and nothing was simple about how I was feeling. It was madness.
“So you’re saying this is my fault? It’s my fault that I didn’t recognize you or realize who you were? Well excuse the fuck out of me for thinking the chances of you being the same person I’ve been sending explicit things to for the last two years are next to goddamned impossible.”
Oh my god.
“Holy shit, and you’re not from California!” I forced my mouth closed as the revelation hit me, but he didn’t deny it. He still had that stubborn look on his face that made me wish I was the violent type.
“No. I’m not. I’m from New York, by way of Canada. I was just in California when we first began talking and it wasn’t like location ever came up again so I didn’t correct you thinking that.”
“So you’ve been in New York then? And you only decided to say something about meeting now? What, break up with a girlfriend or something? Needed a little black pussy on the side finally?”
“Hey!” his sharp growl shocks me, and I’m quiet for a few seconds. “Don’t do that shit. Don’t act like you even wanted more or cared to know my whereabouts. And don’t you dare reduce me talking to you to being about you being Black. I know you don’t believe that and I’m not about to let you build up any more reasons to be pissed off at me.”
I’m a bit taken aback by his words. And ashamed that I’d even said that. It showed more about me than it did about him, and suddenly, I didn’t want to be having this conversation anymore. Backing into my room, I slam my door in his face and lock it again.
I think I can afford to spend a little more time under my comforter.
Chapter - Greyson
Well…at least she’d spoken to me.
I’d have known there was no chance if she’d just ignored me, nonchalant. Indifference would’ve pained me much more than her railing at me.
Anger, I could take. It was something.
But now I was pissed off too.
I can’t believe she tried to cheapen it like I have a black girl fetish or something.
I rubbed my jaw as I sat on the couch, prepared to wait her out. At least until I had to go in for conditioning. Had I ever given the impression that she was some interchangeable black girl? I didn’t think so. Hell, I knew I hadn’t because none of that was ever forefront on my mind when I was talking to her.
She was sexy as fuck in her own right.
But her even throwing it out there made me second-guess myself. She apparently saw me as even more of a cad than I thought. And a girlfriend? No way in hell would I have been saying the shit I had to her if I was with someone else.
Cheating was for weak men. I didn’t consider that to be a part of who I was at all.
My dad had done enough of that for the both of us. That’s how Faith had come about.
I understood why Daya was so upset. I’d lied to her. Even if they were lies of omission. And I’d taken her choice away about meeting her, even if I hadn’t done it intentionally. I hadn’t known she was one of Faith’s roommates until I’d walked in. But I should’ve told her who I was then, and I’d fucked up royally by not doing that.
I knew it was a problem. I accepted that. I just hoped that she could forgive me for it and we could explore things between us.
I wasn’t sure I wanted something purely sexual anymore.
Seeing her in her natural habitat, her quiet intelligence and how comfortable she was just being herself and secure in her life…I don’t know. It intrigued me. And that was only in the space of a few days.
Of course, I was still a man, and I was very aware of everything beneath those clothes. But it wouldn’t have meant as much without Daya as the person with all those attributes.
Either way, I needed her to talk to me. I needed her to forgive me so we could move past it and see what could happen. Soon, I’d be wrapped up in the season and it wouldn’t be a good time to explore much of anything off the ice.
I had less than 38 hours to get her to talk to me before Ryan and Faith got back.
No pressure.
By the time I got back from the rink, I wanted to crawl into a hot bath and then do nothing but sleep.
Daya hadn’t come out at all while I’d been camped out in the living room. And missing conditioning wasn’t an option, no matter how badly I wanted to talk to her. Our time alone was dwindling but I wasn’t going to give up. I’d taken hits on the ice that hadn’t hurt as badly as her not wanting anything to do with me.
While I understood her anger, I also wondered why it fired her up so much. There was a lot I didn’t know about her. I didn’t know about her background or her parents or anything that might’ve affected how she thinks about guys.
We’d just used each other.
And now we seemed to be paying for it.
I dropped my bag down by the wall, and toed off my shoes. I’d move them to my room later, but I needed food. What I badly wanted was a burger, but that wasn’t on the nutrition list. We kept a pretty strict diet. High in food that was pure fuel for the body. Lean protein every meal. High quality carbs and vegetables. BCAAs, a shit-ton of water, and little to no alcohol.
During the off season at least.
In season, when we’re on the ice more and burning a lot more energy, it relaxes some. But since on-ice sessions are reduced now, our diets are mostly aimed at building muscle and aiding in recovery. The off-season is all about rehab and rest. Cutting back on the calories we usually eat when we’re playing 82 games. It’s a balance I still don’t quite have the hang of, so I’m grateful that I have a nutritionist and that grocery service is a thing.
I’m starting to understand a lot about nutrition for myself, but it’s good to have a guide so I don’t fuck it up completely. Fat and lagging isn’t a good look. I’d prepped my food before I left earlier, so all I had to do was roast the sweet potatoes and vegetables and sear off the wild salmon.
I was waiting on the pan to heat up with a little oil when I heard the door open behind me. I was a little scared to move, like if I made any sudden movement, she’d retreat back to her room.
“I’ve decided to talk to you, but only so it’s not awkward when Faith gets back. That’s it. I don’t forgive you. I won’t be talking to you after you go back to your place. So let’s get this over with.”
I didn’t turn around, because then she’d see my grin. And that surely would make her reverse her decision. “Okay. You want me to make you what I’m eating? It shouldn’t take too long.”
“Yes.” The answer was short, and her door shut again. Then I heard it open. “Ple
ase.” Slam.
Progress.
We ate in silence.
I didn’t want to rush her eating just to give my side of the story, and I was pretty damned sure she wasn’t going to speak to me first. When it looked like she was finished, I cleared my throat and I saw eyes narrow.
It was almost amusing, but since I was still in the dog house, I wasn’t going to take my chances by giving the slightest hint that I wanted to laugh at the craziness of it all.
“Is there anything you want to talk about first, or do you just want to hear my side of things?” I could be rational about this. Even if it felt like this was a crucial moment and I was scared as hell that she’d stick to wanting nothing even after I plead my case
“Why did you let me think you didn’t live in New York? If I’d known you were so near, I wouldn’t have…I just wouldn’t have let things go how they did.”
“It really never crossed my mind then. I didn’t even remember if I’d told you I was only in California temporarily. We’d decided to do things with distance, and since meeting wasn’t the goal – it just didn’t seem to matter where I was. I didn’t mind it so much back then, because I was a new player on this team and I knew it was better to worry about hockey and not some woman. But this time, I was coming back to New York earlier and it just seemed like the right time to say something. You’d been on my mind, and I honestly thought you’d be receptive to the idea. Why wouldn’t you have talked to me if you knew I was here?”
“Because I’d have known you’d eventually want to meet! It’s why I don’t make it a habit to talk to guys near like that because I don’t want them anticipating more. I don’t want more right now. I want to just do things on my terms and not deal with someone thinking I’m a tease or pushing me for more. Guys feel entitled to that when there aren’t miles separating you.” I met her eyes and I could tell it genuinely upset her.
“When did I ever give you the impression that I would push you for what you didn’t want?”
“We’re literally having this conversation right now because I told you I didn’t want to make things a reality and somehow, you end up being my friend’s brother and living with me.”