“I don’t know. I mean, it has been happening so fast. Like, after I started really talking to Trent, I tried to ignore him. Then David saw me with the bandage on my hand and Trent with his black eyes. He figured out what happened and stood up for me. He actually threw Trent against the wall and threatened him. At first I was appalled at his aggression and then it turned into this unbelievably sexy moment. I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“Well, what happened tonight?”
I didn’t know what to say at first. How could I explain that I sensed his presence? “I walked out of the gym to go to the bathroom, and as I headed there, I saw Berneli leave the gym out of the corner of my eye. For some reason I just walked over to an empty classroom and he followed. There was kissing and then we went up to his office and locked the door.” I was only alluding to what happened. I had no problem talking about sex, but Annabelle’s kiss with Kenny was her first kiss ever so I did not want to embarrass her.
“Remind me never to go see him for office hours,” she teased, and I threw my pillow at her. Apparently she didn’t embarrass that easily. “So, how was it?”
“It was amazing. I’ve been with a couple of guys before, but nothing like this. When he looked into my eyes, I felt special. I can’t really explain it but it seemed real.”
“What was that you were saying about not catching feelings?”
I rolled my eyes. “I just mean I don’t know what to feel. This can never work. First, he is my professor, which is obviously a problem. Second, he will be headed back to England at the end of next semester so this has a time limit. Third, he is way older. Fourth, he may be seeing other students. My feelings aren’t going to change any of those things,” I said, feeling slightly defeated. It was the first time I had expressed these road blocks out loud. They seemed even more insurmountable and made my earlier actions seem even more reckless.
“Well, at least you know what you’re getting in to. To be honest, I kind of suspected it may have been with him.”
“I know you did. I saw it in your eyes. But do you think anyone else noticed? I ran into that cop again and he made an allusion to how much trouble you can get in for hooking up with a professor.”
Annabelle reached out and grabbed my arm. “No, I don’t think it’s super obvious. I’ve noticed the way he looks at you. Plus, he took the rider away from Trent and insisted you continue to work with him. Not to mention, I’m your best friend. I also see the way you look at him.”
“Do you think other people have noticed?” My stomach was turning and I felt sick.
“Definitely not. Everyone is so busy with their own drama that they don’t have time to focus on yours,” she said, waving her hand at me.
“But you noticed.”
“I already knew you were attracted to him after casino night so I was looking to see how he felt. Really, it’s been super subtle.” She was trying to reassure me and I wanted it to work. I nodded but I wasn’t sure if I believed her.
“I hope you’re right.”
***
I awoke early the next day and threw some clothes on. I decided it was time for a walk. Normally, I didn’t go for walks as I found it stressed me out more since I usually got lost. But my emotions were a mess and I heard nature and quiet could help sort them out. I headed to the small lake at the back of the school. It was not so poetically named Lake Frank, but it was beautiful nonetheless.
All along the sides of it were bushes, small flowers, and some lazy trees reaching their overgrown branches into the water. I was told that during the spring, students took handmade canoes and wooden boats out to race across it. But today I was the only one there, or so I thought.
As I made my way to the other figure sitting on the bank, I realized I knew exactly who it was and I smiled. Jason was sitting with his brow furrowed in thought. He didn’t realize I was there until I sat down right next to him.
“What are you doing here?” I asked as I extended my legs out just inches from the water. It was nice out but not warm enough to go in.
“Hey, I was just thinking.” He smiled but it didn’t seem to reach his eyes. “What are you doing here?”
“Same thing. I have some crazy things on my mind and I thought a walk might help me sort them out.”
“How is that going for you?”
“Probably about as good as you. What’s going on? Is everything okay with Janice?” I watched his jaw tighten as I said her name. Whatever was bothering him clearly had a lot to do with her. He ran his fingers through his hair and I saw the struggle play out on his face as he debated telling me or not. After a few drawn out moments, he sighed and looked at me with real pain in his eyes.
“So, Janice and I have been together for two years now. Before college, I really thought I would be with her forever. When we are together, it is just comfortable, but lately I am not sure if that’s enough. I don’t know. There just is no excitement anymore. That probably sounds dumb.” He threw some sticks into the water and sighed again.
“No, it doesn’t. It just sounds like you’re afraid of settling. There isn’t anything wrong with wanting passion over comfort.” I wanted to sound like I was talking to him instead of trying to convince myself. But Jason looked at me and he knew.
“So who are you feeling passionate with?” He gave me a suspicious look. I blushed, turning three shades pinker.
“Whoa! Let’s not get excited here. We’re just talking about you!” I gave his shoulder a little shove and then looked at him a bit more seriously. “What do you think you want to do?” I tried to steer the conversation back to him.
“I don’t know. I love her and I know she loves me, but it may not be enough. It may not make sense, but I used to get butterflies just being around her—I haven’t felt that way in a long time. I feel like we’re just going through the motions.” He hung his head for a second and I placed my hand on his forearm.
We sat there for a few minutes and just looked out into the water.
“Well, that’s something to think long and hard about. I know couples go through dry spells and they come out fine. But if you think it is more than that, maybe it is time to end it.” I hoped I could maintain an unbiased opinion. I wanted him to be happy but I also wanted Annabelle happy.
“Yeah, I know. I guess I’m just going to have to see how things go.” We sat quietly for a few minutes before he spoke up again. “So what are you out here thinking about? Is the Trent thing still bothering you?”
I wanted to talk to him but I just didn’t know if I was ready. He probably wouldn’t report me, but would he judge me for it? Would it cause a rift between us?
“Basically. I just am trying to move on from it. I’m going to see him around and I can’t be running off every time he comes close to me,” I said, realizing that this was actually one of the things on my mind, just not the main issue.
“I’m here for you, Vi. I won’t let anything happen to you,” he promised, and wrapped an arm around my shoulder.
Things were a little too serious. “Can you just be my boyfriend? I feel like you and I would make the perfect match. Plus, I could give you tons of passion.”
“Now that sounds exciting, but I worry that we’d explode with how much desire we have for each other,” he said, and wagged his eyebrows at me.
I laughed and then we hugged for a second.
“Why don’t we screw this walking and nature crap and go off campus for breakfast? My treat,” Jason offered, and stood up, reaching a hand out to me.
“Well, only because you’re paying, boyfriend.” I smiled as he helped me stand up.
“Obviously, girlfriend. My momma raised me right.” He tossed his arm over my shoulder and we walked to his car in silence. I was glad the serious moment was over but even happier it happened.
Even as I sat in his car, I didn’t know where to start. Those obstacles I’d discussed with Annabelle weren’t going anywhere, and neither were the feelings David was invoking. I did want to be with him ag
ain. I wanted it from the top of my head to the soles of my feet. But on the other hand, could my heart take it if I wasn’t his only one? How would I say goodbye to him at the end of the year? My feelings were only going to grow. Then again, it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved.
Okay, this may have been a little dramatic. I didn’t love him, but I thought I could.
Breakfast was good. We spent the whole time talking about TV shows and movies we loved. The conversation did not dip into our romantic feelings for the people in our lives and the distraction helped for a minute.
I just couldn’t help but think that the reason he was doubting Janice might have something to do with his growing feelings for Annabelle. Again, I didn’t feel it was the right time to say something. The two of them needed to figure out their feelings before I told them what they were. Though I was not sure how much longer I could keep this to myself.
After we ate, Jason dropped me back off at my dorm, but not before he got a final word in.
“Whenever you are ready to talk about the other thing that is bothering you, let me know. But I understand if you aren’t ready just yet.” He honked the horn and left.
I couldn’t help but smile.
***
I headed upstairs to work on some homework. It seemed like the best way to procrastinate dealing with my personal feelings. I wouldn’t see Berneli until tomorrow in class and I had a feeling we wouldn’t be having a big heart to heart there so I was in no rush to analyze my emotions.
I went to sleep feeling conflicted and emotionally drained. Unfortunately, I was woken up not long after turning off the light. I rolled out of bed and turned the light on. I opened the door and couldn’t believe what I saw. Officer Finn was standing there.
“Violet, it’s nice to see you again,” he said as he looked me up and down. As I was in my pajamas and no bra, this made me feel a little uncomfortable. Not to mention he was calling me Violet now and not Miss Carrington.
“What can I do for you, Officer?”
“We had another problem with Miss Lauren Zimmerman. Is she there?” He leaned forward, trying to look over my shoulder.
“No. I’m the only one here.” I dropped my attitude and I instantly felt a bit of fear flow through me. I should have reported Tyler to the police. “Is everything okay? Is she okay?”
“There was an incident with Tyler Michaels and we are concerned for her safety but we can’t find her. Do you know where she is?”
“I don’t, but give me a minute. Let me call her.” I closed the door and rushed over to my bed where my phone was sitting. As I started dialing, I heard the door open. I whipped around and saw Officer Finn walking into my room. He looked around and then came to stand next to me. It made me uneasy so I started pacing while the phone rang. Lola didn’t answer so I sent her a text asking where she was and if she was all right.
“Sorry, I don’t know where she is. Um, why are you in my room? How did you get in here? The door was locked from the inside,” I said, forgetting Lola’s issue for a second.
“I learned long ago how to pick the dorm room locks. Just in case something happens, I want to be able to get into any of the rooms on campus. It can create so many problems when you have to wait for a set of keys.” He shrugged this off as not a big deal.
“I would prefer you wait for keys, if that is all right.”
“I’m not sure. I think we both know you need my help.” He walked closer to me and I was boxed in between him and my nightstand. A pressure pushed on my chest and I needed him to move. Since he just stared down at me, I walked around him to the door.
“If I hear from her, I’ll let you know.” I opened the door, indicating that I was ready for him to walk out.
“Do you mind if I wait a few minutes? I’m hoping she will respond to the text.” He was standing firm next to my bed.
“Sure, but let’s go to the common room. I don’t get the best service in here,” I said, and grabbed my bathrobe. The common room was at the end of the hall and had three couches and some easy chairs. There was also a television on the wall for anyone to use, but most importantly, it was not my bedroom. I sat down in one of the easy chairs and Officer Finn sat down on the couch next to me.
“Are you feeling better?” he asked as he got comfortable.
“What?” I looked at him, confused.
“You were sick last night with the flu?” He stretched his legs out so that his knee was pressed up against my leg. I shifted uncomfortably but he kept moving so some part of his leg was touching mine. I pulled my knees into my chest and was finally out of his reach.
“Oh, turns out it wasn’t the flu. I went to bed early and spent most of the day relaxing so I am feeling a lot better. Thanks.”
“Good. I’m glad you are doing better. You certainly look a lot better,” he said, and looked down toward my chest.
“Well, I haven’t gotten a text from Lola so I’m going to go to bed. I have class first thing in the morning.” I got up out of the chair and headed back to my room.
“Let me walk you to your door.” He followed me down the hall and leaned in front of me to open the door for me. “Please let me know as soon as you hear from Lola. I think you know my number by now.” He winked and then gently grazed my cheek with his knuckles.
I tried to close the door but he held onto it for a minute. He was too strong and I couldn’t budge it. Finn leaned in closer and for a second I thought he was going to try to kiss me.
“Are you a rule breaker, Violet?”
I looked at him, confused. “What are you talking about?”
“I was thinking about our conversation last night. You asked what happens if a student is involved with a professor or a guard. That’s kind of specific since there are several different types of staff members.” Finn still had a vice grip on the door and the possessive way he looked at me was frightening.
“They were the first staff members to come to mind.” My voice shook and I could tell he didn’t believe me. He squinted his eyes and nodded.
“Right. Makes sense.” Finn stared at me a minute longer. “’Cause if there is a specific professor bothering you or trying to date you, I could handle them for you.”
“That isn’t an issue.”
Finn smiled big and let go of the door. “Then maybe there is a certain security guard who has caught your eye?”
“Like I said, there is no one I’m interested in.”
He winked at me. “Right, keep it a secret. Good call!”
I quickly closed the door before he could say anything else. My heart raced and I couldn’t escape that nagging feeling that he knew something. After a few deep breaths, I focused on the bigger problem at hand and called Lola again.
“Lola, are you okay?” I asked as soon as she answered.
“Yes, I went home to my mom’s.”
“What happened? The police came back and said something happened with Tyler.”
“Well, Tyler and I got in a big fight over something stupid and he got mad and pulled a knife on me. But it was just a misunderstanding. Someone must have heard me scream and called the police. He uses steroids and just went into a rage. He didn’t mean to. I just went to my mom’s to give him time to cool off.”
I couldn’t believe she was trying to defend him.
“He pulled a knife? Like a big knife?” I was shocked. This was crazy!
“It was a pocket knife, so a small knife,” she said as if it was made of plastic and not metal.
“Did he cut you?” I felt like this probably should have been one of my first questions but it was late at night.
“No, he just threatened me with it. It really wasn’t a big deal. I’m fine,” she insisted, but she didn’t sound as fine as she wanted to be.
“The campus police came to the door. They’re looking for you. You may want to let them know that everything is fine.” Or, I don’t know, maybe you should tell them that your boyfriend threatened you.
�
�Well, I’m fine. They don’t need to do anything.”
I couldn’t hold my tongue anymore. “Do you want to press charges or anything? This sounds kind of serious.” I remembered what David had said about Trent. “It should at least be reported. What if something like this happens again?”
“No, no! It was a mistake. I just want to forget about it. Don’t mention it to the police. Please, Violet, it really is not a big deal. I promise,” she pleaded.
“Okay, if you insist that you’re all right, then I’ll let it go. Be safe.” I hung up the phone and felt guilty for not calling the police, the real police. I didn’t like the sound of being threatened with a knife. But at the same time, it wasn’t my call to make. If Lola wanted to let it go, then I would have to do that. Besides, she probably would deny the whole thing happened.
Still, I decided that if anything else happened with Tyler, I would have to draw the line and alert the authorities. I just hoped I wouldn’t be too late.
Chapter 12
I had a terrible time going to sleep. There were too many things on my mind and I couldn’t shut my thoughts off. I was worried about Lola and Tyler, confused about David, and a little concerned about Officer Finn. Not to mention I didn’t know what to do about Annabelle and Jason. I was beginning to think that the only way to make that happen would be a giant push from me.
When I finally fell asleep, I slept straight through my alarm. I finally woke up to a pounding on my door. I was really worried it was Officer Finn for a minute so I checked out the little peep hole. It was Annabelle.
“Um, hi. I could hear your alarm going off repeatedly and I figured you were either dead or still sleeping.” She laughed a little as I yawned big.
“Yeah, I had a hard time sleeping.” I stretched and looked at the clock. “Oh crap! I have class.”
“No kidding! Get dressed.” She followed me into my room and sat on the desk chair. We usually walked to class together so it was nice that she was waiting for me. I grabbed the first pair of jeans I came to and a plain t-shirt. Then I pulled my hair up into a low ponytail and grabbed my bag. Annabelle and I were halfway to class when I realized I was going to see David.
First Semester (Elton Hall Chronicles Book 1) Page 18