The Price of Desire

by PE Kavanagh

  He listened closely as she told me my room number. I noticed.

  We stepped away from the desk and paused for a moment, neither of us sure of what to do next. Did we go up to our rooms together? Would he even use the same pedestrian elevator the rest of us use? Did I shake hands, hug, or kiss as the Europeans and South Americans did? So confusing.

  The problem was solved by the piercing shriek of my baby sister, her tiny yet curvy frame bobbing across the lobby toward me. Right behind, not stooping to excitement, was my equally-pleased older sister. They looked fabulous, in full Vegas style.

  “You’re finally here! Oh my God, we were waiting for you for so long.” Lizzy kept talking, even as she wrapped her body around mine. “Sooooo glad you're here. Oh my God, Nik, this place is amazing! I might want to live here. It is the BEST EVER,” said the soon-to-be mom.

  Even Nora gave me a sweet hug. “So glad you're here, Nik,” she whispered in my ear. I knew she meant it.

  They barely noticed the man waiting patiently next to me. “Hey guys, this is Marco. We flew in together.”

  “Whaaaaaat?!” screeched Lizzy. “You know this guy? Oh my God!” It was hard to believe that this girl had not been drinking.

  “We met in the...”

  “Hello. I’m Nora. I’m the reason we're here. And you are?” My sister, always the professional, always the boss.

  He took Nora's hand, then pulled her in and kissed both her cheeks. She was kissed into silence. A very rare occurrence.

  “I am Marco Gonzales. Your beautiful sister graced me with her presence on what would otherwise have been an uneventful plane ride. I am so pleased to meet you. She described you quite well.”

  Nora couldn’t speak and neither of us knew what to do. It was unheard of. Lizzy took the moment of silence to make her introduction, which she did by jumping up for her own hug and kiss. Except that Lizzy was so small and Marco was so tall that she jumped up on him like a small child on her father. He caught her, thankfully and gracefully put her down.

  We all erupted in laughter that lasted minutes. Lizzy, not one to hold onto embarrassment, happily accepted his two-cheeked kiss.

  “Wow, you are so handsome!” she exclaimed. I would have turned red if my olive skin didn't hide it so well. “Did you really just meet Nik on the plane? And was it your limo she came in? That is so awesome! I love meeting awesome people on the plane. Did she tell you I’m pregnant? Yup, it's true. At first I was like, oh shit! But now I’m super excited and I feel really good now that all the throwing up is done and my fabulous sisters have offered to help me and Nik is the best mom I have ever met and she's going to teach me how to be the best mom ever and-.”

  “Lizzy, shall we save some of our life history for later? Marco probably has somewhere he needs to be,” the voice of reason chimed in.

  “Well, yes and no. I am meeting my friends fairly soon, but it's Vegas, which means that time is flexible. And this is MUCH more interesting.” Marco graced them all with the killer smile.

  “I am very excited for you, Lizabetta.”

  Now did he really have to say it in the most sexy and glamorous way?

  “Parenthood is the journey of heroes and holds riches beyond anything you could imagine.”

  “You have kids?” she asked.

  “Yes, two boys although they are nearly men now. Both in college.”

  I did not know this. I felt awkward about it.

  “Cool,” she said. “Too bad they're not a teensy bit older, because they are probably HOT!”

  “Lizzy!” I had to intervene this time, but Marco just laughed.

  “Yes, I think they are very handsome. And they seem to like slightly older women, so maybe...” He winked.

  When Lizzy laughed it was like drinking champagne. So light and effervescent. It’s wonderful to see her this happy.

  “So, when will we see you again?”

  “Lizzy!” I thought I might just die of embarrassment. Right there in the hotel lobby.

  “Funny you should ask. I have invited your sister to dinner with me, and she is wondering when it would be convenient for you to be without her. For a night.”

  Did he say A night, or THE night?

  “Oh, whenever is fine. We're just hanging out. Other than Nora's thing on Sunday, but that won't take very long.”

  All Nora or I could do was sigh.

  “Good to hear.”

  Exasperated, Nora said, “Shall we?” as she led us toward the elevators.

  Awkwardness filled the space as we waited for one of the doors to open. Lizzy looked like she was trying hard to contain her excitement and I couldn’t tell what Nora was feeling. I felt strange, a little ashamed of my family but heck, this was the reality of my life.

  We got into a packed elevator and Marco made his way next to me. Our bodies were very close and mine was warming up. I definitely wanted this man, if nothing more for than a seriously good romp. Maybe lots more.

  He bent down as if to kiss my neck and whispered in my ear, “I apologize for intruding on your schedule. I did not mean to bring it up with your sisters. I know you would have talked to them. I hope you don't think I was too forward.”

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and had to take a breath before responding. And boy, did I like having his face so close to mine.

  I turned toward his ear and replied, “It's okay. No problem, really. It looks like we are good for tomorrow night.”

  “That's wonderful.”

  And then he kissed me. Slowly, lingering, one kiss on each cheek. As he passed my lips I imagined what that would feel like. My arousal raised the temperature in the elevator by several more degrees.

  I beamed back at him as I made my way through the doors onto our floor.

  “Call me later, okay?”

  “Absolutely,” I responded.

  The three of us stepped off the elevator and held our composure until the doors closed. The laughing began and we hardly made it to the room before we completely let loose.

  Chapter Eight

  Get The Party Started

  “Nik, that man is unbelievable. Oh my God you have to do him. You have to. He probably has an amazing body too.” Lizzy was the most sexual of the three of us and pregnancy hadn’t appeared to slow her down.

  “He is very charming, Nik. Well done. I approve,” the boss added. Marco seemed to have infiltrated Nora’s typical skepticism.

  “Well now, I feel so much better because I was like, eh, about the whole thing.” The screaming began again.

  “This is going to be the weekend to end all weekends, girls!”

  “Yes, Lizzy, I think you're right,” I added. “And you, the reason why we're here. Anything to say?”

  “I’m glad you guys came. It's been too long since we did this.”

  “Don't get soft on us, girl!” said Lizzy.

  They gave me a tour of our adjoining rooms, with mine in the middle. With all the interior doors open, we had a huge great space, but decided that my room would be party central. I was happy to oblige.

  “Can a girl get something to eat around here? I have to take care of some serious pent-up sexual energy!”

  “Yes, yes, let's eat! You know I’m always up for that. Where should we go?” asked Lizzy.

  “Nik, we’ve got this great fruit and cheese spread here. Would that work? Then we can get ready and go out for the night a little later?” My sister, the planner, always had the most logical solutions.

  “What are you guys going to wear? I’m going to get ready for our big night. Music! We need music!” Lizzy had already begun dancing around, even before the music started.

  Lizzy and Nora provided the soundtrack for our preparations, complete with singing, drumming on the furniture and a few rounds of the hustle. I hadn’t felt that happy and alive and... like a woman... in so long.

  I prepared outfit number one for the weekend. Understatedly sexy. Well, maybe not so understated.

  Inspired by the dance party
, we got dressed and strutted out of the rooms as if Vegas was our own personal runway. There were yards of legs on display, each of us knowing which asset to feature. Lizzy had chosen a flouncy skirt and, in acknowledgment of her pregnancy-inspired bust-line, a low cut top. The baby bump was hardly visible.

  Nora wore a leather pencil skirt to accentuate her slimness and nonstop legs. I wore shorts. Silver glitter shorts that Lola (my resident fashion diva) forced me to buy but that I never expected to in public. Where else but Vegas?

  It reminded me of Mom and her short skirts. Even as she got older (not that she actually aged), she knew exactly what she was going to feature on her body and wasn't shy about it.

  Crossing the casino, I watched heads turn and eyes follow. It felt spectacular. To be desired again was like the first breath after being underwater. This is what it feels like to be alive, I realized.

  Was that my name I heard? No, couldn’t be. Then again. We all stopped and Lizzy saw him first. “Marco! It’s Marco!” she said.

  I turned around to see an outline of a man straight from his own runway. Royal blue cashmere sweater and dark jeans. I thought Lizzy was right, this man had an amazing body, much more apparent now that he wasn’t in the suit he had on earlier. I really had to play it cool, even though I wanted to swoon.

  He walked directly to me and I went straight in. First to one cheek, and then slowly to the other. I gave his arm a squeeze and confirmed everything I believed to be underneath that silky soft sweater. We were frozen in space, just the two of us, my happily hopping sister aside.

  “Well, hello,” I said.

  “Ladies.” Long pause. “You have made it impossible for any of these other poor women who have worked so hard, to get any male attention.” He turned to Lizzy first, who was dying for her double cheek kisses. “You have forever redefined what an expectant mother looks like. I hope you never worry about being sexy, my dear.”

  She beamed at him, as if he had read her mind about a big part of her anxiety about pregnancy.

  Nora was next.

  “And you. The serious Nora with the mile-long legs. I can see why you need all that seriousness to contain those legs. They are lethal.”

  Once again, Nora was silenced. This was good.

  I realized he’d been holding my hand the whole time. He turned to me and kissed my hand, ever so softly. He didn’t speak and I thought maybe he had nothing to say. I was starting to feel a bit embarrassed and unsure about my garish outfit choice.

  “Come meet my friends. I’m not sure I can let you out of my sight tonight. You outshine the whole Vegas strip.” His gaze never wavered from my eyes.

  I would have followed him anywhere he led me at that point. Without saying anything more, we headed toward a lounge across the casino. I didn’t know how he’d spotted me from there, with all these people around. Vegas was never short of eye candy and I was so glad he found me.

  “Monique is hungry! She needs to eat!” Lizzy added. Oh yeah, I’d completely forgotten. The snacks were delicious, but my body was asking for real food. Among other things.

  “Well, may I feed you then?”

  Everything in my body said yes. Feed me, consume me, anything you want.

  We walked through a busy collection of bodies, hand in hand. I was unsure where he was leading us, and was surprised when he walked into a room that you couldn’t tell existed from the front of the lounge. It grew surprisingly quiet.

  This was clearly some VIP area, with a much more subdued feel than the rest of the place. It was beautiful, sexy, elegant. Just like him.

  With our hands still clasped, he led me and my sisters up to a group of men, who stopped as if on cue. They couldn’t tell which of us to look at first. They were impressed. I was pleased.

  It could’ve been a Latin supermodel convention, each man better looking than the next. Please join us, said the young one in black. Lizzy's eyes got very wide. He was definitely her type.

  “Amigos, this is Monique.” A nod of recognition moved through the group. Had he told them about me? “And her sisters, Lizabetta and Nora.” They each in turn got up to kiss us and introduce themselves. This ritual was really growing on me.

  I looked back to see if Nora was okay with this change of plans. She had a restaurant in mind that she wanted to try and did not like to deviate from the plan.

  When our eyes met, she smiled and I knew it was fine.

  “They serve food here right? Nik is hungry!”

  I loved how Lizzy was always looking out for us in just the sweetest way. She was going to make a great mom.

  The men made room for us to join in and the party began. I didn’t know who was ordering the food and drinks but everything just kept coming. Marco never let our bodies get more than a foot away from each other. His hand remained around my waist, on my back or holding mine. I felt like a queen. A very sexy queen.

  Hours passed and no one made a move to leave. The conversations flowed with Nora showing off her Spanish and talking about her time in South America. They regaled her with stories of each of their homelands and made her promise to visit. Lizzy and her young man created their own dance floor and practiced the salsa or the rumba. I couldn’t tell.

  Marco and I floated in our private bubble, speaking with our faces inches away, about life and food and buildings and beauty. I started to feel like I could love this man. What wasn’t there to love?

  Somehow we agreed to move the party to the dance club. The groom's brother has gotten VIP passes and there was apparently Latin music in one of the rooms.

  Moving back out into the fray was a shock but Marco glued his body to mine. The crush of bodies trying to get into the club almost separated us, but the men created a protective wall. I was being completely protected and taken care of. This fantasy of a night just kept getting better.

  The pulse of the music hit my body well before we entered the club and I wanted to move. My sisters were the singers of the family, but I was the dancer. I felt music in my hips and my back and my legs and could express it well. I was already moving when Marco pulled me to the dance floor. “Let’s see what you can do, my chef.”

  My chef. He said my chef. I didn’t think anyone had ever called me their chef. The implications were too much to contemplate. Now, I just needed to move. He was surprised that I could follow him. We went from a close embrace Latin-style to freeform dance and back again. My body was free, taken by the music.

  At several points he reached down to whisper something in my ear. Every time his face came close to mine, I gave a start. There was undeniable electricity there.

  Occasionally, I remembered my sisters, and had a look around the club. We’d deviated pretty seriously from the plan, and I wanted to make sure they were okay. As far as I could tell, they were both having fun.

  “I have to ask you something,” he said fairly seriously. Nervousness flooded my body. Will this be the proposition? Or the dump? Stop projecting, Monique, just enjoy the moment. He lead me into a quieter part of the club, where we could hear each other a bit better.

  “I don't know quite how to say this.”

  Uh-oh is all I hear in my head.

  “I know you are here for your sisters. But I don't really know why you are here. I mean, I don't know if you wanted to meet some... people and have fun. I mean of course you wanted to have fun. That was stupid to say.”

  He was the one who was nervous. What was going on for him?

  “What I’m trying to say is that, I don't know if you want this. All this time with me. I feel like maybe I am keeping you from something.”

  Had he been he worried about my looking around the room for my sisters? Had he felt my nervousness and thought it was lack of interest? I needed to be powerful. “What do you want to know, Marco?” All of a sudden, I became the cool one. Calm, collected, expressive. The power of it all was nearly ecstatic.

  “Yes, the question,” he said nodding. “I want to know if you want to be with me. I mean, if it's okay tha
t I am keeping you here. I just... We are having so much fun, and I would like to spend this time with you, but not force you, if you don't want.”

  “Does it look like I don't want?” Power was a dangerous thing and now I was playing with him. This was my MO, to take advantage of men when they were being vulnerable with me. To attack when they were defenseless. I was disgusted that this was coming out now, with this man.

  Before I could retract the question, he answered. “I think you are enjoying yourself,” he said strongly. “And so are your sisters. But Vegas is a funny place. Sometimes... it can be easy to misread things and I don't want to do that. I want to be clear.”

  “Yes, me too. I am here to enjoy myself, in whatever form that takes. And if I wasn't, I wouldn't still be here.”

  “That is very clear.”

  A moment of awkward silence was broken when I touched his arm. I wanted to tell him that I was completely in awe of his directness and his consideration. That the whole power trip was a pretense. That I felt thrilled and terrified in his presence. I couldn’t quite muster the courage for any of that.

  “I’m going to the bathroom. Be right back.”

  “Okay.”

  I took extra time in the bathroom to review what had just happened. He was right. It was easy to misread and misunderstand. I had done it quite enough in my life. Part of me was terrified about how I already felt about him, after just a few hours together. And the other part heard what I said - I am here to enjoy myself. In whatever form that takes. And desperately wanted to believe it.

  Marco was talking to a friend when I came out. Spanish flew between their lips and I struggled to understand what was being said. Damn! I wish I had paid more attention in Spanish class!

  “Hola Bella,” he said as he took my hand and kissed it.

  “Everything alright?” I asked, expecting to hear otherwise.

  “Of course. Except that we are here and the music is out there. Shall we?”

  “Absolutely.”

  Any tentativeness he had about our being together was lost, which he showed me on the dance floor. He held my body so close to his that sometimes I couldn’t breathe. I thought I could feel him hard, through his pants, but convinced myself it couldn't possibly be, even though we were dancing as if we were making love. Our bodies were filled with fire and spark; I’m certain he felt the music through my own pulse. His hands explored me and I liked it. Nearly as much as my hands on his body.