The Price of Desire

by PE Kavanagh

  The way we moved together definitely bode well for anything that might happen further along. This man could really move, and more importantly he could move with me. He was a very strong leader, and I let myself surrender to him. It was delicious.

  And sexy and magical and so erotic. Even if nothing happened between us, I would look back at this night and know I had a hot moment with a hot guy. And had a great time.

  I wanted him to kiss me so badly. My mouth ached for his. But he didn’t. What did this man want and would I be able to give it to him?

  Chapter Nine

  Penthouse View

  I immersed myself in those moments with him so many times that I completely lost track of time. It was only when Lizzy found me to say she needed to eat that I realized it was morning. No windows in Vegas meant morning and night were indistinguishable.

  Lizzy's handsome friend offered to take her to breakfast but I wasn’t sure she wanted to be alone with him. Normally she would have been the first person to leave with a guy, but pregnancy had made her a bit more skittish. And sensitive maybe. And sensible, certainly.

  Thankfully, Marco made the decision.

  “I’m hungry too. Your wild sister kept me dancing all night with no sustenance. Can we accompany you to breakfast?”

  “Yes! That’s great!” said my always enthusiastic Lizzy.

  Before the four of us headed out, I remembered Nora.

  “Where’s Nora?”

  “She’s still out there,” said Lizzy. “Said she didn't want to eat. She's in the middle of a group of men, doing her snake dance.”

  That’s what we called Nora's dancing. She was so tall and skinny and didn’t really have rhythm but did this slithery sinewy movement that seemed to mesmerize everyone around her. She loved being the center of attention and I knew she was having fun.

  We decided on the German pancake house, which tickled Lizzy to no end, but it was a cab ride away, which meant having to go outside into the light of day. I was terrified about what I must have looked like after so many hours of dancing. Hard. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. But it was too late and I was being led along.

  I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I saw the food around us. This was a superbly good choice and we all ate until we were almost sick. The enormous pancakes were probably meant for Bavarian lumberjacks, but we devoured them. Marco watched me eat as if he was studying a piece of art, grinning at my exuberant enjoyment.

  “I need to eat many meals with you Monique. It makes everything more delicious.”

  My fork stopped midway to my mouth as I contemplated where I wanted his mouth to be.

  We all hit a wall. At least I did. It was time to call it a night. Or a morning, as the case might have been.

  We made the trek back to the hotel, and at one point I fell asleep on Marco’s shoulder. I awoke as he kissed my forehead.

  “Time to go, Bella.” I liked that he called me that, cheesy as it was. We held hands all the way down the hallway to my room, hardly speaking. Would he make a move? Would I invite him in? It was all so unclear, the long night and the events of the day creating quite a blur in my mind.

  Maybe tonight wasn’t the night. I was so sweaty. But so was he. Would showering together be out of the question? What I really wanted was to just sleep with him, really just sleep. But no, it was too soon for that, I rationalized.

  All four of us stopped at Lizzy's door. It was awkward. Marco probably knew his friend would make a move and wanted to give him some privacy. What could we do? My room was only next door, not enough space for us to be inconspicuous. Wow, this was weird, a flashback to my teen years.

  “Come with me,” he said.

  I was exhausted, but I followed him anyway, back into the elevator, to the very top of the hotel. To his penthouse. Holy shit. He was taking me up to his room. Was I ready? Willing? I tried to summon my good decision-making skills right there, but couldn’t. I followed my body, which wanted his body, right into his room.

  The view took my breath away. The entire Las Vegas strip laid out in front of me through floor-to-ceiling windows. It was spectacular. I put my hands on the cool glass, mesmerized, and stared out. He disappeared into the kitchen and returned with two glasses of water.

  What a thoughtful guy. He just didn’t quit.

  “I didn't mean to rush you in here,” he said sheepishly. “I just didn't know what to do because Esteban and Liz...”

  “Yes, I understand. It’s beautiful up here. I can't imagine how you got this room.”

  “Aaaahhh. It’s Esteban. He is a high roller here. Brings lots of clients who pay big money. And we are having the wedding here, so they gave us this whole floor. It is beautiful, though, isn't it?”

  “Yes,” I spoke over a yawn.

  “You are very tired.” He turned to look in my eyes.

  “Yes.” Again just yes.

  “Please let me know when you want me to walk you back to your room. I imagine they have made some decision by now.” We both snickered, then I remembered…

  “Doesn’t he mind that she's pregnant?” I didn’t know where that came from.

  Marco laughed. “Well, it's actually quite funny. Esteban is younger than me. Youngest in the group and the first one to want children. More than any man I have ever known, this man wants children. Lots of them. I think he saw her, and she is very beautiful, of course, and when he saw that she was pregnant... well, I think he fell in love instantly.

  A bit like when I saw you daydreaming at the airport. A woman who could dream things that make her face light up like that must have magic in her soul.”

  I wanted to be more wide awake to process what I’d just heard. Did he really just say...

  “Are you thinking of those things now?” he inquired.

  “No. There are other things now. Maybe even better things.”

  He liked that answer and took my face in his hands.

  “This face... this magnificent face. How has any man managed to let you go?”

  “Well, some quite easily,” I joked. The moment was getting more serious than I was capable of handling.

  “Foolish.” He moved toward me, still holding my face. My breath quickened. He was so close to me. Just one more inch and our lips would touch, but he stayed there. Just outside me. I thought I would dissolve or catch on fire or both at the same time. This was too much. Was he playing with me?

  So slowly that I barely knew he’d moved I felt his warm mouth on mine. He held me there as his kiss grew firmer. His lips parted mine and next we were devouring each other. My God, I wanted to consume him, take him into every part of me.

  He pressed into me and then backed away, in a rhythm I could instantly understand. Just like our dance, he was constantly reading my body, my breath, my mouth. My fatigue began to slip away as he took me further and further into him.

  “Marco...” I breathed into his mouth.

  “I have been waiting all day for that,” he said. “It was well worth it.”

  My eyes stay closed to take in what he was saying but I found his mouth again. And now my hands began to explore his body. All the curves and angles of his bones and muscles felt like something surreal.

  As he moved to my neck, I fell under the tidal wave of my desire. This man ignited me. He listened and paid attention and figured out exactly what to do. I moaned aloud, despite myself. He responded with his own groan.

  His hands grasped my bottom, pulling me toward him and removing any doubt about what I was feeling. He was fully aroused and wanted me to know. He found the skin beneath my blouse and the sensation of flesh on flesh shocked me. He stopped, unsure of whether I was signaling him to stop. I assured him with my mouth that all was fine. Better than fine.

  “Stay with me,” he whispered. I wasn’t sure I heard him and moved just far enough away to look directly into his face.

  “Stay with me,” he repeated, stronger. Our faces moved apart, but he never stopped holding me tightly against him. “I don't expe
ct anything from you, I just want you to stay with me tonight.”

  “Today.” I was disgusted with my unnecessary need to clarify and correct. My inexperience and clumsiness were starting to show.

  “Yes. Today. Right now.”

  He waited for my answer and I tried to find one. I desperately wanted to stay with him. I wanted to rip his clothes off and fuck him like there was no tomorrow. I wanted to scream and writhe in ecstasy.

  “Not tonight,” I said instead, unsure of why those words came out of my mouth.

  He looked disappointed, but not surprised.

  “I promise you, I don't expect anything. I’m just not ready to let you go yet.”

  I considered his promise, and realized I believe him. Perhaps I could stay there, and not have sex with him. It would’ve been delightful to be held by this man while I fell asleep.

  “I...I...” Nothing. I couldn’t find an answer.

  “You are worried about something. Can I ease your worries somehow?”

  “I don't know. I would love to stay with you, but...”

  “You are not comfortable. Yet. I understand. You don't know me.” He nodded, convincing himself more than anything else, I believe.

  “Maybe I should go.” I didn’t want to go. Please convince me to stay!

  “As you wish, Bella. Let’s go down.”

  We walked hand-in-hand all the way to my door, in silence. What was there to say? Had I just totally blown this opportunity? Would I get another one?

  “I really look forward to seeing you tonight. Just us, right?”

  “Right. Good night, Marco. Thank you for a wonderful evening. I had a great time.”

  He moved toward me, perhaps with the intention of a gentle kiss goodnight, but the energy caught me and I responded passionately. I pulled him in this time, with insistence. I wanted him to understand that my decision did not reflect my current state of desire. Or my feelings for him (God help me!).

  With my back pressed against the door and our bodies grinding, my body was changing my mind. All I had to do was open the door and we would fall into my bed and there would be no more false no's, no more insecurity, no more ridiculous restraint.

  But he pulled away first, this time. Had he felt my resolve fading?

  “Good night, Bella. I can't wait to see you again.”

  Though my mouth must have been open, I couldn’t say anything as he walked away.

  I entered my room in a daze. Had all of this really happened?

  Knock, knock. Is he at the door?

  I got excited. No, it was the internal door. Lizzy.

  “Are you up? Let me in!”

  I opened the door to my baby sister, not hopping so much but grinning from ear to ear.

  “I can't believe you didn't stay with him. What happened? Okay you have to tell me everything. I have to say the two of you are the hottest couple I have ever seen. More sex appeal and chemistry than Brad and Angelina. Seriously. It was so hot to watch you – he’s a seriously good dancer too. So why didn't you stay? Did something weird happen?”

  I knew that Lizzy would just continue talking unless I stopped her.

  “Nothing happened. I just really like this guy. I mean really and I sort of… panicked. Maybe he's not a one-night kind of guy. Maybe I should wait and make it... important. Maybe I’m just full of shit and scared. It's been a while for me, you know.”

  “Of course I know! Which is why you should have totally jumped his bones!”

  “Who says that? What are we, twelve?”

  Lizzy slid into my bed.

  “Well, make yourself comfortable.”

  “Oh, come on. You know you want to snuggle. The baby wants her favorite auntie to stay with her.”

  How could I resist?

  “I want to hear about your young man. There were some serious sparks, baby girl.”

  My baby sister and I, and her baby, all snuggled under the covers late in the morning after a wild night in Vegas and slept. Like babies.

  Chapter Ten

  Wanting And Having

  The next thing I heard was a knock followed by the unmistakable voice of big sis.

  “Rise and shine you lazy-bones.”

  I swore Nora was not human. Part alien, part sea creature, part robot. Seriously. She strode into the room as if she had just spent the last few hours in a salon. Lizzy buried herself further under the blankets, with a slight groan.

  Without opening my eyes I asked, “Why do you even knock, if you're just going to come in anyway?” I couldn’t hide the bitterness in my voice. What was so important that we needed to be awoken?

  “Listen, we need to nail down the agenda for today. There are a lot of moving parts. I've got some important meetings this afternoon, Lizzy, you've got all the spa appointments and Nik, well, I’m not sure if the plan to do some chef schmoozing has been superseded by getting laid. You'll have to sort that one out yourself.”

  “Screw you,” I barely had the energy to say.

  “In any case, I’ll be expecting to see you all at 6pm tonight, which is really not that many hours from now. And I expect you to be looking fabulous, relatively of course. These are important people to meet and I am serious about being impressive. Got it?”

  “Nik can't make it,” groaned the voice under the covers. I gave my thoughtful baby sis an extra squeeze for remembering my date, which I had nearly forgotten. “She's got dinner with the Latin hottie. Remember? We all agreed. Or was I the only sober one?”

  Nora sighed in exasperation. “Okay, I really am interested in what's happening with you two. I all looks excessively interesting. I just want to make sure you guys know what I expect.”

  “Stop acting like our mother, Nora. She wasn't even like this. We're here for fun, remember?” Lizzy was getting angry.

  This was going to escalate.

  “Don’t worry Nora. We will be there,” I reassured her. “I will be there to meet and greet, then I'm off with Marco. We are here for you. We know this is a big deal. Okay?”

  “Fine.” She really wanted to pout and continue making her point but didn’t have a basis for complaint. Sometimes it was quite helpful that she had that scientific mind. Logic ruled.

  Lizzy peeked her head out to make sure everyone was okay.

  “Okay, sleepyheads. Can’t wait to hear about your Latin lovers. Have a great day and I’ll see you later. Love you.”

  “Love you too Nona,” we said at the same time, using our childhood pet name for her. “Knock ‘em dead Dr. Bad-ass!”

  I realized going back to sleep wasn’t going to be an option for me, no matter how bleary I felt.

  “I want to get some sun. How about you, baby girl?”

  “Sleep. Just me and this bed. Maybe some room service and massage. Mmmmmmmm...”

  “Sounds lovely. I’m going to check out the pool and I’ll see you back in time to get ready. Love you sweet girl.” I gave her a big hug, kiss, and belly rub.

  The first look in the mirror was a bit of a shocker. It was going to take some major work to get things back to a presentable state. At my age, a long night out made itself very apparent: dark circles, splotches, immovable makeup remnants. The work began.

  A bit of breakfast, or lunch, would do me good. I hadn’t drunk that much, thankfully, but not enough rest left me ravenous. Even after that pancake fest we’d just enjoyed a few hours before.

  I was in the bathroom when I heard more knocks. Did Nora really need to check on us again? Goodness gracious! But then another round of knocks. This wasn’t Nora. Housekeeping maybe? I forgot to hang the Do Not Disturb sign. I could hear Lizzy muttering under the blankets.

  I opened the door just a crack, prepared to ask them to come back later, when I saw the beautifully set table.

  “Room service,” said the cheery older man. Confusion kept me silent for a beat. “We didn't order room service,” I said, quizzically.

  “Yes, ma’am. It was ordered for you. A nice gift.” His smile broadened.
/>   Nora, I believed, ensuring our rising promptly and being in decent shape for her event later. Nice, if it wasn't so damn controlling.

  “From Nora,” I asked, knowing the answer. He shook his head. Perhaps he didn’t understand what I was saying.

  “No ma’am. This is from…” he paused to pick up a sheet of paper to make sure he was getting it right. “It's from Mr. Gonzales in the penthouse. Will you accept?”

  Surprise silenced me for a moment, but I moved my body away from the door enough for him to enter. I pointed to the bed and made a sound of shushing.

  He nodded and smiled, then quietly set up the beautiful brunch Marco had sent for me, complete with a magnificent bouquet. I flushed at the memory of our last few moments together. It could so easily have ended with us together, fully together, and didn't. Still he sent me this amazing gift. What I had missed? What was the trick? How was it that this situation kept proving itself too good to be true?

  Everything was scrumptious, clearly hand selected. He’d really thought of my tastes. Part of me wanted to run upstairs and thank him. With my body. Then I remembered I couldn’t even get up there anyway, as it required a special key.

  Okay, don't get ahead of yourself. The day was young, and I needed something in my system. I finished eating, while Lizzy slept, convincing myself a bit of distraction from this man would do me good. I worried about how obsessive I was feeling and decided to be content in this quiet moment. Or pretend to be content.

  Vegas-ready swimsuit on, I made my way down to the pool, which in true Vegas style, looked more like an outdoor nightclub than swimming spot. The music was pumping, the drinks were flowing and all the beautiful Vegas-ites were continuing the party. By sheer luck, I happened to see a group leaving and scored one of their lounge chairs. Perfect. Absolutely perfect.