by Deb Julienne
“I guess I am jealous of Sabrina, but there’s no man out there for me.” Angel frowned. Her hand shook. She dropped the fork.
“What am I?”
“Trent’s brother, Sabrina’s brother-in-law, Kat’s cousin.” She fiddled with her hair.
“Very funny. Has your heart ever been wrong?”
“Too many times.” She pushed her cup away, pulled her hand back, and dropped them into her lap.
Her mood seesawed with the questions. As long as it was light and playful, she was fine. The moment the past came up, she withdrew.
“Do you spit or swallow?”
She threw her head back and laughed. “Always spit. Gum is bad for the digestive system.”
Travis roared. “You’re too much.”
“I agree. Best first date?” she asked.
“This one, of course.”
“This isn’t a date. It’s…ah…after-wedding conversation.” She lifted her chin and gave him a profound nod, giving him the impression she was proud to have steered the conversation away from where he’d been leading it.
“What, no other questions?” he asked.
She took a sip of her coffee. “Nope. I know all I need to about you.”
He assumed she’d had enough, but he was nowhere near done. “Missionary or doggy style?”
With a set to her jaw, she pushed up her sleeves. “Depends. Poodle or German shepherd?”
“Oh nice. Ménage à trois?”
“Sleeping between you and the dogs? No, thanks. I’ll pass.”
He laughed. “You’re hopeless. How about porn?”
“Food porn. Love it.”
“Excuse me?”
“Chocolate cream pie, chocolate mousse, tiramisu.” She slowly enunciated each word, took another bite of cake then closed her eyes and licked her lips.
A groan rumbled from deep within him as his tongue slid across his lips. “Fine—last question. What do you see in our future?”
“We don’t have one.” She yawned.
“But if we did?” He checked his watch. Four in the morning.
“Not going there.” She put her hands up defensively.
“Come on. Name one place we’d go together, something you’d consider doing with me.”
“Wring your neck about now.” She mimicked her words by twisting her hand in opposite directions.
“Besides that.”
“Fine. I’ve always wanted to go to Jamaica. I guess I could tolerate being with you for a fun frolic in the sand as long as we had separate rooms and lots of umbrella drinks and you behaved yourself.”
“Now was that so hard?” he asked.
“Painfully so, but again, that will never happen.”
“Why are you so hell bent on pushing me away instead of giving us a chance?” He reached for her hand, but she pulled away and folded her hands in her lap again.
“Because it’s what’s best for me.” She looked skittish, ready to run.
He sat back. “What about me? Don’t I count?”
“No, you don’t. If we’re talking about my future, I have things strategically planned out. There is no place for a man in my life—not now, not ever.”
“Does that mean you play for the other team? Because I’ve gotta to tell you if you’re trying to convince yourself of that one, there was way too much sizzle in that kiss at midnight for me to believe you.” He tried to keep a straight face, but her frown got the best of him.
“Believe what you want. It’s men like you who made me into the person I am today.”
Damn, he’d pissed her off again. “Back up. We just met tonight, so if someone else burst your bubble or broke your heart, don’t lump me into that category. They might have hurt you. I never would.”
Angel’s lips pressed into a thin line. “Big words from a man who couldn’t commit to his last girlfriend.”
“Ouch. If you’re trying to be hurtful, you win. I didn’t commit to my last girlfriend because I felt we were wrong from the start.”
“We’ve known each other, what, a few hours? And suddenly you know I’m right for you. I don’t think so.” She reached for her cup but knocked it over. She grabbed her napkin, mopped up the mess, and sat back and smoothed her dress.
Keeping the conversation light was the rule of engagement. “We’ve known each other for a few hours and I’m so attracted to all that I see that I can only hope you’ll consent to a second date so I can learn more.”
“There can’t be a second date without a first. You’re leaving soon, so the point is moot. End of story.” She huffed.
“Okay then let’s plan our first date. What if I said I’d take some time off and stay if you promise to give me a break?”
She flinched. “Why would you do that? Your entire family is counting on you.”
“Ha, ha, okay, I get it. Since I’m a man, I can’t multitask. I won’t let my family down. I never have. However, I am learning to balance my life. I can be loyal to my family and still reserve the best of me for someone special.” Travis’s words amplified his confidence.
“I’m impressed. You almost have me convinced.” Her words were positive, but her tone was still skeptical.
“When I go back home—no, if I go back home—I will consent to sitting as a board member, but the company is going to have to find a new CEO. We hire good, capable people. A compassionate participative manager could really take things to a new level. I’m not irreplaceable.” Taking charge of his future empowered him. He should have listened to Trent sooner.
Angel frowned. “And you don’t think your family would blame me for you deserting your post? I won’t allow you to put me in that position.”
“I’m not deserting my post or my family. I’m making a decision that’s best for me and best for the company.” What he wouldn’t give for five minutes with the jerk who’d hurt her. Why did she automatically assume the worst of him or his family?
“What about the way we ran out of Trent’s reception? Won’t they question your loyalty? Families are an integral part of our lives. Whether we love them or hate them, what they think, do, or say has a way of screwing with our decision-making process.” She smacked the table. “I won’t be a party to it.”
“I’m sorry if I offend you, but I have to say this. Your consideration for others is admirable. I also think you may have developed a teeny crack in the titanium fortress you’ve built around yourself. I detected a hint of concern for me.”
Golden flecks in Angel’s eyes glimmered under the florescent lighting.
“You know, I now recognize my limitation and capabilities. My talent is not steering a corporate ship, obviously. Look at the mess it’s made me.” He lifted his hands to frame his person. “Don’t you think I’m being more loyal to my family and supporting their expectations by acknowledging I’m not the best man for the job?”
“Nothing is a waste if it’s helped in some small way.” She covered his hand.
Travis head was in a spin. One minute she’s snapping at him and the next she’s trying to make him feel better. Talk about being conflicted, yet she had an empathetic heart. What the hell was it about her that made him feel the need to rescue her? “I get what you’re saying, but, here’s the thing. If I had only come to grips with my shortcomings sooner, I wouldn’t have had to spend so many nights flushing my fears with booze.” He pounded the table.
Angel jumped.
“Sorry.” He was angry with himself for losing his temper.
“You’re not blaming them, are you?” Her eyes blazing, the brown deepened, making the yellow flecks stand out.
“No. I take full responsibility for my drinking. But I should have gotten things under control sooner and maybe a little more gracefully.” How many times would he have to apologize for his behavior? If he hadn’t been with Angel he’d have gone looking for an AA meeting.
Angel’s voice softened. “Why do you think Trent pulled away so easy?”
“That’s simple. I was a dick t
o him.”
“Well, that was frank.” She scoffed, her left brow raised. “Care to explain?”
“It was my fault. I drove a wedge between us. I’ve always been more serious minded, and he’s the happy-go-lucky one. The more our folks pushed the company on me, the more I resented their expectations.” His pulse raced at the admission. “At the same time they played on my ambitions. Trent was happy to walk away and leave it. The deeper I dug my hole, the more I played the blame game. In reality, I allowed my anger and frustration with my folks to turn into anger toward Trent. It got so bad, I felt he’d deserted me. It was actually me who’d deserted him.” He’d been a first-class jerk, yet Trent had acted as though it was no big deal.
“I’d call that progress. At least you acknowledge your part in the breakdown between the two of you.” Angel patted his hand. “It’s a good start.”
“And that’s one conversation I dread. Trent will have nothing on a coyote howling at a full moon when I finally apologize for allowing it to happen.”
“You’ve got your brother back. What’s more important to you—your pride or an apology and finally having the lines of communication opened between you again? Believe it or not, at least you have that going for you.” She shrugged.
Too bad life wasn’t that easy. “You sound wistful. What gives?”
“I told you before. We’ve all got skeletons. Yours are out in the open and you’re well on the road to recovery.” She blushed then lowered her eyes.
He’d swear she considered herself unworthy of love or incapable of it. “Okay, we’ve been slinging the bones of my skeletons around for the past couple hours. Your turn. How ’bout you throw me a bone?”
Angel grew stiff and shivered. “Don’t go there, Travis. My situation is different. There is no way you’ll understand. I’m not going to get into it here and now. Leave it alone. Please.”
“I’ll let you keep your secrets for now. But they’re not going to go away simply because you ignore them,” he said.
“How insightful of you,” she said with just the right amount of snark. Even Jill would be proud.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to irritate you again. I wish you could feel my relief, how great it is to have such a huge weight off my shoulders. That’s all I want for you.” Travis raised his hand, requesting the bill.
“Let it go.”
Their conversation wasn’t over, not yet, but he’d let it go for the time being. “How about we go wander around the casino floor?”
* * * *
“Fine.” Angel wasn’t mad at Travis for wanting to help. But there was no way she could discuss her father and his religious views, nor her mistakes, without Travis thinking horribly of her.
Her father had said, “You made your bed, so deal with it, but not in my home.” It echoed as loudly today as it had eight years ago. He’d kicked her out of the house at eighteen and they hadn’t spoken since. Even though her parents knew where to find her, they hadn’t bothered. They’d written her off without ever letting her explain. She had accepted it. There was no other choice. “I’m sorry, Travis. I didn’t mean to bite your head off. You’re right. Let’s get out of here. I need a change of scenery.”
“Your wish is my command.” Travis helped her into her coat then bowed.
“Be careful. I might get used to your kindness.” He was trying so hard. It was actually quite charming.
“I certainly hope so.”
Why’d he have to be so damn sexy?
He touched her forearm. “What? Why is it so bad that I want to be a part of your life?”
Even though she wanted more, she pulled away. “Take my word for it. It won’t work.”
“You keep saying that, but how can you know for sure if you don’t let me in?”
“Travis.” She put every ounce of emphasis on that one word in the hope he’d quit pushing.
“Sorry, sometimes I don’t know when to quit. Let’s go.” He stuffed his hands into his pockets and walked away.
She managed to catch up to his long stride, in high heels, no less. She was stunned to admit she enjoyed his company, his sexy sense of humor, even his exasperating urge to want to help her.
He kept pace with her, close enough to be protective without overwhelming or touching her, respecting her need for space. As they walked down the hall, the clanging, bells, and noise from the casino grew louder. Gamblers and boisterous holiday revelers swarmed all around them. Twice he pulled her out of the way of teetering patrons.
When a drunk bumped into her and nearly knocked her over, she grabbed Travis’s hand to keep from panicking. She clung to his side. “I’ve never gambled before. How does it work?”
Travis looked down at their clasped hands and squeezed. “Pick a game—poker, blackjack, keno, baccarat, craps, or roulette.”
“How about we try the slot machines? I get the willies watching people throw good money away so easily. I don’t understand the mentality.” His mood had seemed to lighten when she took his hand.
“That’s a great place to start. Let’s go.” He steered her toward row upon row of machines. He parked her in front of a theme slot machine, True Love slots.
“Very funny.” She scooted over two machines. “What do I do?”
“Ah, this is a classic reel fruit slot machine. Have a seat.” Travis slid a twenty into the machine. It registered the credits.
“Now what?”
“Pull the arm. You know, like a one-armed bandit.” He placed her hand on the handle.
“Oh.” She pulled the handle. The moment the third cherry appeared in the box, the bells went off. “I won.” She clapped. “This is fun. I see how this could be addictive.” She didn’t want to admit she was excited. With the noise around her, the fruit turning at a frenzied pace, and winning, yeah, she could see the addiction.
“Except for one thing—if you had used three coins before you pulled the lever, you’d have won three hundred dollars.”
“Are you nuts? No way am I going to waste that kind of money.” The absurdity of dropping that kind of money in this economy was proof enough she’d never be a world-class gambler.
“That’s how the machines work.” He pointed to the pay table that showed the return versus coins invested.
“No way.”
“Give it a try. What’ve you got to lose?” he whispered.
She smiled, pressed the button to show three credits, and pulled the handle. Three times in a row and the machine gobbled up the money.
“See, that’s ten bucks down the drain. Money is simply too hard to come by.” Angel stood up abruptly and walked away.
“Wait a minute,” he said.
She spun.
He pressed the button to cash out and received a receipt for the difference. “Hang on to this. Maybe you’ll want to try something else.”
She put her hands up, not wanting anything to do with it.
Travis tucked the ticket into his pocket.
“Let’s try something else.” He walked toward her as he chuckled.
“Gambling is not for me.” It was way too similar to the bet Grant had made on her. She refused to let her memories of her ex ruin her evening, especially since she’d lost big then.
A bunch of loud, obnoxious people were ahead of them. Travis pulled her into his arms and pushed through them. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. But these people are nuts.” She checked to see if she still had her purse and that her clothes were still intact.
He took her hand in his. “Guess I’d better keep a closer eye on you.” He kissed the back of her hand then gave her a smile that would have melted a pot of lead in the middle of the frozen Arctic.
Table after table, people lost hundreds of dollars. Angel couldn’t believe her eyes. “I can’t do this. I’m not that brave.”
They meandered from the slots to the poker table. Player after player lost money faster than they could lay it down. She pulled him away from the poker table. They moved from
poker to keno to baccarat before stopping in front of the roulette wheel.
“No wonder they call it games of chance. Chances are slim to none that you’re going to win.” She wanted to leave. Gambling with money was one thing. Gambling with lives the way her ex had was intolerable.
“Maybe you’re missing the point. If you don’t take a chance, you can’t win either. You’ve heard of the lottery, right? You have to play to win. Besides, it’s only money,” Travis said.
Only money—surely he wasn’t serious. “No thanks. Not my idea of fun.”
“Okay, how about this? Let’s make a wager and let the roulette wheel decide.”
Angel didn’t trust the pompous smile on his face. “Such as—”
“We’ll make it easy. I’ll even let you choose. We’ll each lay a bet. Red or black, you choose.”
“Wait. What are you talking about?”
“Red or black. Which do you want?” He pointed to the colors on the table as if that was an explanation.
She waved her hand in front of his face. “I don’t get it. What are you talking about? Remember, novice here.”
“Red or black?” he insisted.
She wanted to smack the smug I-want-you-look from his face along with the I-dare-you stance that came with it. “Fine. Red.”
Travis handed another twenty to the dealer, who swapped it for a stack of chips. He put half of the chips on black and the other stack on red.
“Wait a minute. What’s the bet?” Angel grabbed his arm.
“The bet is, if it lands on black you have to agree to see me again for our first official date.”
“Oh, no you don’t.” She reached for the chips but Travis stopped her.
The resemblance between this and Grant was too much to ignore. No way was she going to get caught in that situation again. Except, in the instance of Grant, she never knew about the bet. At least with Travis this was a fair game.
Travis held her gaze. “And if it lands on red I agree to leave you alone, to walk away, satisfied to remain friends.”
Angel grabbed the chips from the red. “I’m going to see how the odds play out. I’m not willing to bet that easily.”
Travis left his chips on black. The dealer put the wheel in motion and sent the ball in the opposite direction. It circled round and round, spinning faster than she could see. When it finally slowed, the ball dropped into thirteen black.