by L.H. Cosway
Something pained passed over Liam’s expression at my mention of the squat, but it quickly passed. He eyed my apron. “You got much longer left of your shift?”
“I’m just finished, actually.”
Liam eyed me, considering. “Want to go get drive-through at McDonald’s? I’m on a break and I was going to get something here but I’m in the mood for some junk food.”
My heart leapt. He was asking me to hang out. I tried not to let my excitement show too much. “Sure, just let me go clean up and I’ll be right back.”
Liam nodded. “I’ll wait in the car.”
When I emerged and came to join Liam I felt weird. I’d never been in a police car before. Believe it or not, I’d managed to evade being arrested for squatting during my two years of homelessness. I’d also been a regular shoplifter before I started working for Lee and could afford my own food. Luckily, I’d been too good at it to get caught.
“It’s so bizarre that I’m friends with a copper,” I said, looking all around. It wasn’t like a normal car. There was all sorts equipment attached to the dashboard.
“It’s more bizarre that I’m a PC, considering my history,” said Liam.
I glanced at him, chewing on my lip. I’d almost forgotten about that. “You used to steal cars?”
“Yep. Got away with it for a long time, too. Until I didn’t.”
“What happened?”
He let out a wry chuckle. “Karla happened.”
“Lee’s Karla?”
“Yeah. They started seeing each other. On the down-low, of course. Karla’s bestie used to go out with my oldest brother, Stu, so she and Lee had crossed paths a few times. When their relationship was still a secret, Karla caught me on the rob. I was a cocky little shit, thought she wouldn’t catch me.” He smiled like it was a fond memory.
“And . . . did she?”
“Oh yeah. Karla’s got some mad driving skills. She arrested me, brought me back to the station until Lee came to bail me out. That was sort of the catalyst for everything that followed. Us going straight, I mean.”
“And joining the police,” I probed. “How did that come about?”
Liam exhaled thoughtfully. “I felt a bit aimless after we left all that behind. Had no clue what I wanted to do with my life. The only skills I had were ones that involved stealing. One day I got this idea to flip it on its head. Use what I know to catch thieves instead of thieving myself.”
“So you decided to become a copper,” I finished for him.
“Pretty much. Karla helped. If it weren’t for her I wouldn’t have had a hope in hell of getting on the force. But her dad’s this big shot superintendent, so she had enough clout to get me in there.”
“That’s lucky.”
“Yeah, I love it. Though it’s not so fun when you bump into people you used to steal with,” he said with a grimace.
“Awkward?” I guessed.
He chuckled. “Yeah, something like that.”
We’d just arrived at the drive-through and Liam rolled down his window. He ordered a large Big Mac meal with Coke and chicken nuggets on the side. I went for the same. He parked a little way down the street and we ate our food in companionable silence. It was nice, just being with him, doing something as simple as eating fast food. A few minutes went by before he spoke.
“How long have you been on your own?”
I blew out a breath. “That’s kind of a heavy question to ask mid-Big Mac.”
“I like to get the heavy stuff out of the way first so we can get to talking about Ryan Gosling’s latest flick,” he joked.
“Never pegged you for a Gosling fan.”
Liam smiled as he chewed. “He’s just so dreamy.”
I laughed. After a minute my expression sobered. “My, um, my mum passed away when I was fourteen. There was no one to take me in so I was put into care. When I turned eighteen the state was no longer responsible for me, so . . .” I stopped speaking and made a gesture with my hands. “Here I am.”
Liam’s look was gentle, understanding clear in his eyes. “Here you are.”
After we finished eating we talked for a while longer and then he drove me home before heading back to work. Again, it was strange to be driven around in a police car. I went to my room and pulled out my copy of Great Expectations. I spread the duvet on the floor with the pillows and settled in for cosy evening of reading.
A few hours passed before Bowie decided to show his face.
“Somebody’s been hard to reach lately,” he commented as he took a seat on the bed.
“I’ve been busy working.”
“And staring dreamily into a certain police constable’s handsome blues,” he added.
“Whatever.”
“You look happy, Iris.”
“Are you going soppy on me?”
“Sue me if I like seeing you smile more often. It’s a relief you’re not sleeping in that awful squat anymore, although I don’t entirely get this whole floor situation you’ve got going on.”
I glanced at the bed. “The mattress is too soft. I can’t sleep on it.”
He eyed my backpack by the door. “You haven’t unpacked either. Looks to me like you’re still ready to run at any moment.”
I scrunched up my brow. “Why would I do that? I’ve got a good thing going here.”
Bowie stared at me pointedly. “Yes, you do. So unpack your bloody bag and start sleeping on the bed. This is your life now, and it’s only going to get better from here on out.”
“You don’t know that,” I sniffed, but like always I knew he was right. I could feel it in my bones.
His smile was knowing and infinitely wise. “Oh, but I do.”
There was a knock on my door and I startled. “Who is it?” I called.
“Liam. Can I come in?”
“Uh, yes,” I said before I remembered my duvet and pillows were on the floor. Shit! I scrambled to put them back on the bed, but it was no use. Liam opened the door and stepped inside before I had the chance. He looked around and his brows knit together.
“Thought I heard you talking to someone.”
Oh God, kill me now. He heard me talking to Bowie. This was too embarrassing to be real. “Oh, um, no. I wasn’t.”
He glanced at me then, his expression suspicious. “You sure?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Well, I just knocked off work so I’m going to take a shower. Call if you need anything.”
“Sure, okay.”
He was about to leave but then stopped, turning back to take me in. “Iris.”
“Yeah?”
“Why are you sitting on the floor?”
I swear I turned bright red in an instant. I tried to think of a plausible story but came up empty, so I just sighed and told him the truth. “I like it down here.”
He arched a brow. “You don’t like it on the bed?”
I shook my head. “I’m not used to mattresses. I can never fall asleep on the bed.”
He stared at me for a long moment, so long I felt like I might burst with self-consciousness. His face was a picture of empathy and my stomach twisted.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I blurted, unable to take much more.
“Like what?”
“Like you feel sorry for me.”
His lips dipped in a frown. “Iris.”
“I’m fine. I sleep perfectly well on the floor. I’m not harming anyone by it.”
He went quiet again, a conflict warring behind his eyes. I thought he might push the matter but instead he nodded soberly and closed the door. I heard him go inside the bathroom and then the sound of running water as he turned the shower on. Huh. That was easier than I thought it would be. I returned my attention to my book, falling into the story again. I didn’t know how much time had passed when my door flew open.
I jumped at the intrusion. Liam stood there, his hair wet, and he was only wearing a pair of sleep pants. His chest was completely bare and my skin warmed just looking at him
. He had a nice body, a strong, muscular frame. He ran a hand through his wet hair and slammed the door shut.
“I want to try something,” he declared and came to tug my book out of my hand. “Stand up.”
I was curious what was going on, but I did as he requested. Once I was standing he started putting my duvet and pillows back on the bed.
“Liam . . .”
“Don’t argue, just humour me,” he said, holding a finger up before going back to work on the bed. I watched the muscles in his back move, oddly mesmerised. It was after eleven and the house was quiet. I imagined everyone else had gone to sleep already.
When the bed was made he beckoned me forward. “Get in.”
“Um . . .” I bit my lip.
“Iris, I said get in.”
His tone brooked no argument, so I closed the distance between us and got in the bed. Once situated, Liam surprised the hell out of me by climbing in next to me. My pulse pounded in my ears and I felt way too hot, especially considering he was topless. I wore my usual sleep clothes. There was nothing even remotely sexy about them but Liam’s eyes still shone with heat as he looked at me.
“C’mere,” he said as he lay back with arms outstretched, his voice a husky whisper.
I lowered myself to lie against him, cheek to chest. His skin felt warm and firm. I wanted to touch him, run my hand over his abdomen, then along the little trail of hair that disappeared inside his bottoms.
He lowered one arm to wrap around me, holding me close, then reached over to turn off the lamp. Dark surrounded us. His smell was everywhere. His presence an aphrodisiac in itself. I lay in his embrace, confused and turned on and excited. My heart felt too full.
“What are we doing?” I asked the dark room.
“We’re going to sleep,” Liam answered, his soft voice lulling me into a relaxed state.
“We are?”
“I have a theory,” he went on, ignoring my question. “It came to me when I was in the shower.”
I squeezed my eyes closed, because that was too much of a pleasant picture not to visualise. I was such a pervert.
“Oh?”
“I think maybe you can’t sleep because you feel on edge in the strange environment. I think that if there’s someone sleeping next to you it’ll become easier.”
I didn’t speak for a long moment, then whispered, “It’s a possibility.”
His hand started to move back and forth over my lower back. I tingled all over, every muscle in my body coiled tight in anticipation of how he might touch me next. I loved every stroke, every light caress.
I thought since he was doing it to me, it would be okay to return the favour. I brought my hand to his stomach, my touch light and explorative at first. I dragged it from his abs up towards his pecs and heard his breathing quicken.
Before I reached his pecs his hand came to mine, preventing more movement. “I’m not a saint, Iris,” he quietly warned, and each syllable reverberated through me.
“You’re touching me.”
“That’s different.”
“No, it’s no—”
“Just . . . talk to me,” he said, an edge to his voice. He really was struggling. Struggling because I was touching him. Wow. I liked that, liked the heady feeling of power.
“About what?” I whispered.
“Anything,” he replied. “Tell me who you talk to when you’re alone in this room.”
I froze, my heart giving a hard, panicked thud. “Um . . .”
“It’s okay,” he soothed. “I hear you some nights. It’s actually kind of comforting. I like the sound of your voice.”
I went quiet, considering my words. If I could tell anyone about my odd imagination it was Liam. “Do you remember my friend Becky I told you about? The one who died?”
“Yes.”
I made a weird shape with my mouth in the dark. It felt bizarre confessing this to him. “She and I, we were all each other had. Then she was gone and I felt so alone. After a while I started having these conversations with myself.”
“You did?”
“Well, not with myself, per se. I started having them with David Bowie.”
He emitted a surprised breath and I could hear the smile in his voice. “David Bowie?”
“Yeah, I’ve always been a little obsessed with him, so I guess it makes sense. He’s, well, he’s my imaginary friend.”
Liam didn’t say anything, only continued stroking my back. I was glad he didn’t stop, even though he didn’t want me touching him. Stroking him. I understood why. Laying in bed with a girl caressing your bare stomach could lead to embarrassing repercussions when you were a guy.
“It’s weird, right?” I said when he still didn’t speak.
“No. I don’t think it’s weird at all,” he said finally. “It’s a coping mechanism. We all have them.”
“Yeah but, Liam, he’s real to me. Sane people don’t believe they can talk to the ghosts of dead rock stars, though admittedly, he was still alive when the whole thing started.”
“I still don’t think it’s weird. For whatever reason, he’s comforting to you. You probably grew up with him, right?”
I nodded into his chest. “Mum used to play his music all the time. She even went to see him in concert in the eighties.”
“See? He reminds you of a time before you had to fend for yourself. After our mum passed, me and my brother Trevor used to pretend our real parents were He-Man and She-Ra. We used to make up elaborate scenarios where they’d come and rescue us, whisk us away to live with them so we’d never have a care again.”
“That’s adorable,” I said. And heartbreaking. “But you were a child. I’m a twenty-year-old woman.”
“A twenty-year-old woman who never had the chance to be young. Not really. You’re allowed your peculiarities, Iris,” he replied tenderly.
“I know I have to let him go,” I said in a small voice. “I’ve been trying, I really have. It’s just hard.”
“You’ll get there,” he said, his hand giving my hip a small squeeze.
I nuzzled my face into his chest and inhaled deeply. “I hope so.”
“You’re the strongest person I know. You can do anything.”
He sounded like he really believed it. It was a new and liberating sensation for someone to have so much faith in me. I closed my eyes fully and just enjoyed being held by him. I didn’t think I could fall asleep. I thought that after a while I’d end up crawling out of bed and laying down on the floor. But then Liam’s breathing grew deep and there was a meditative quality to it. For the first time since I moved in here I felt at peace. And as time passed, I slowly fell under, proving his theory correct.
I slept.
With Liam’s arms around me, I could finally sleep in my own bed.
Seven
Sound and Vision
It was no surprise that sleeping together became a habit.
Each night when the house grew quiet, Liam snuck into my room and crawled into bed beside me. I’d lie awake waiting for him and he always came. Sometimes we talked. Other times we just cuddled. I started to wonder if maybe he needed me just as much as I needed him.
It was a peace I’d never known. It was also addictive and thrilling and incredibly sexually frustrating.
But you know, it worked.
I’d never felt so rested in all my life.
I opened my eyes to the sliver of morning light that peeked through the curtains and smiled. Liam was spooning me. I was the little spoon. His strong arms and his masculine scent surrounded me. I closed my eyes again, deciding I could afford a few more minutes of rest. I knew Liam was awake when I felt his hand move, coming to rest on my stomach.
Butterflies flooded my belly.
My T-shirt had ridden up in the night, exposing my bare midriff. Liam’s hand stroked back and forth and a want stirred between my thighs. I clenched them together to dull the ache but it was no use. In my mind I imagined his hand moving lower, dipping inside my underwear and dis
covering how wet I was.
I moved a little and made a shocking discovery. He was hard. In all the nights we’d shared a bed, he’d always been very careful keeping his . . . parts away from me. If he did have an erection, I never felt it, but I could feel it now. Hard and urgent as it pressed against me.
God.
Liam’s hand moved to my belly, pulling me closer so that his cock was flush with my backside. I wanted to moan. I wanted to wriggle against him and feel it get even harder. Feeling bold, I circled my hips and felt his breath hit the back of my neck.
“Iris,” he whispered huskily.
I moved my hips again and he let out the most wonderful and interesting noise. He groaned. Groaned like a man. It was a sexual noise. One I hadn’t had the pleasure of hearing from him before. It turned me on and a tiny whimper escaped me in response.
I barely had time to react when he flipped me on my back, nestled himself between my legs, and stared down at me with the sexiest look in his eyes. His hands gripped my hips and squeezed. I arched my back so I could feel his cock press into me more.
His lips parted and he closed his eyes, a look of pure desire claiming his features. His torso moved and my breath hitched. He pushed his cock so hard into me I had to bite my lip not to moan. If we were naked right then, we’d be fucking already.
I wanted him to kiss me, but he didn’t.
Instead he opened his eyes, lowered his body so he was holding himself up on his elbows and cupped my face. I had no idea what was happening, but I’d never felt so entranced. I watched his every move with barely concealed fascination. And then, he started moving his hips slowly in and out. I exhaled shakily at the feel of him, his hard cock pressing against my needy sex. I was so close to coming and he’d barely even touched me.
My every nerve ending was on fire.
His hands still cupped my face but his thumb moved down to brush across my lower lip. The only sound in the room was our breathing. His thumb dipped inside my mouth and the noise that came out of me surprised us both. I didn’t think I’d ever made a sound quite so feminine before. So sensual. His thumb moved in the same motion of his hips, dipping in and out of my mouth, pressing against my tongue.