by Trudi Jaye
Keep your cool, Rilla. You know better than this.
Her father always had to remind her to take a deep breath. If he’d been here, he would have been giving her a look designed to keep her overflowing thoughts calm.
Christoph doesn’t know you’re investigating the sabotage. He doesn’t know they’re suspects. Of course he’s treating Blago like an old friend—that’s what he is.
Rilla sighed. She needed to calm the hell down and get on with things. And that meant focusing on the Gift. “I’ll go online tonight and see what I can find about prosthetics research,” she said. “Then Viktor and his boys can take a look at it, see what they can do.”
The flap opened to one side near the front, and Alfie and Viktor entered the food tent.
“Speak of the devil,” said Rilla, giving a small smile in greeting.
“Howdy.” Viktor acknowledged those around the table and sat down, Alfie beside him.
Garth opened his eyes and nodded at the two men. He was slow and distracted, almost like he was on strong medication that was affecting his ability to concentrate.
While Garth updated the latecomers about Kara, Rilla traced her finger absently over the table. She glanced at Viktor and Alfie, wondering what the two seasoned hands made of Jack and Blago. Like Christoph, they knew Blago from the old days and probably couldn’t imagine he’d ever betray the Carnival.
But he’d been kicked out. They had to remember he could have a powerful grudge for that alone.
She just had to do everything in her power to ensure the Gift went according to plan and that she was the one chosen to be Ringmaster. If she couldn’t convince the Nine and the Carnival that she was the best person for the job, they might end up with Blago in charge. By the time the Carnival realized there was something wrong, it would be too late.
But how was she going to beat Blago? Added to his age and the fact he was a man, Blago’s easy manner and his ability to take control were going to make him a frontrunner for Ringmaster in many people’s minds. He even kind of looked like the stereotypical Ringmaster when he was all dressed up. Without even trying, he was beating her in every possible way.
Stop letting him outmaneuver you so easily. You’re smarter than that.
She took a breath and thought through their options. “It would be good to know more about the accident. More than the Mark knows, anyway,” she said suddenly, looking around at the faces of the group. “I can look up the local records tomorrow.” There were nods of agreement.
“I’ll go with you,” said Jack, his eyes flickering in the low light.
She frowned, studying his face, unsure of his motives. But it was better to keep him where she could see him. Maybe assess him some more. She nodded. “We can go together in the morning.”
“Do we know anything about her friend?” Blago asked.
Garth shook his head. “I don’t think it’s someone she knows well. She doesn’t have anyone close to her.”
“This sounds like it’s goin’ to be a right pain in the arse,” said Viktor. “No one close to help her, family dead, bung leg. What can we do for her?”
“We have to do something,” snapped Garth. “We can’t just give up.”
“We don’t give up, son, but sometimes there’s a benefit to admitting when something’s not working and asking for help.” Viktor glanced at Rilla as he spoke, his lined face giving her a clear message.
Rilla felt like Viktor had reached into her chest and yanked out a section of her heart. There was an uncomfortable silence as everyone digested Viktor’s unsubtle suggestion. The Thrillmaster was making his views plain. He’d never been one for sidestepping around a difficult issue, and now he’d clearly decided Rilla wasn’t up to being Ringmaster.
Blago held up his hands. “Come now, this ain’t the place for politics. We’re here for the Gift and that’s what we’re discussing.”
“Hard to keep the two apart, Blago, when it’s usually the Ringmaster and the Giftmaster that run the Gift,” said Viktor. “Who do we look to this time, when we’re all in mortal danger?”
“A consensus. We do it as a group. Right, Rilla?” Blago looked over at Rilla, a light in his eyes that said he knew exactly what he was doing. Her fists curled under the table. If she did anything but agree, she came off sounding petulant. But if she agreed, she gave him the upper hand because he’d been the one to suggest it. She saw precisely what he was doing but didn’t know how to outplay him.
That’s how useless her organizational talent was when it was up against a Carnival charmer. It had been the same with her father—except Abba had been on her side.
She sighed. “Sure. Until the new Ringmaster is decided, we all work as a team on the Gift.” Putting a hand to her head again, she massaged her temple. She needed to concentrate on the Gift. Everything else could wait.
I want to stop feeling dead inside. I want to live again. I want to be whole again.
What else could they do to help this girl?
“I’ll prepare for tomorrow night’s show as the Ringmaster,” said Blago. “Give you a bit more time to concentrate on the Gift, Rilla.”
Rilla glanced up and saw a faint smile hovering around his lips. If she’d been a cat, the hair on her back would have stood straight up in the air. She only just resisted the temptation to hiss.
The old man couldn’t help himself. On the surface, Blago always sounded like he was being helpful, but somehow it always had the opposite effect. He made it seem like she was slacking off.
“If you’d rather I did the show, just let me know,” she snapped. She could feel Christoph’s eyes on her but refused to look at him to see his rebuke.
“No, no. I’m happy to oblige. Gives you young folk the time to get on with the Gift.” Blago swept his arm in a benevolent gesture, smiling at everyone around him.
Another dig. Tight-lipped, Rilla nodded, no longer trusting herself to speak without causing real offense.
“Rilla, let me know what you find out,” said Garth. “We reconvene tomorrow. Let the others know the Nine will meet in the afternoon. We need to be able to lay out what we’ve discovered and decide the plan of action.”
There were murmurs of assent as they all stood.
“Just one more thing,” said Rilla, raising her hand to get everyone’s attention. All eyes turned to her. “We can do this dragon Gift. I know it’s more than we’re used to, I know we’re all a little intimidated by it. But we can do it. You know what Dad used to say: doubt is the only reason people fail. If we’re sure of our success, then we will succeed.” The lump in her throat threatened to spill over into tears. Rilla didn’t wait to see the reaction of the other leaders; she turned and strode out the side door flap into the dark night, rubbing angrily at her eyes. She couldn’t do anything these days without dissolving into tears.
“Rilla. Wait.” Jack’s voice called out behind her.
She kept going, but he caught up to her after a couple of strides. “Rilla, let me help.”
Rilla sighed, turning to look at Jack. She shoved her hands into the pockets of her jacket. “What do you want?” she said brusquely.
Up close, he smelled of newly chipped sawdust and cotton candy. He’d obviously been helping out around the Carnival. Yet again, he was watching her with that tawny gaze, and this time it made her heart beat a little faster. He could be the one hurting the Carnival, she reminded herself sternly. His father is trying to steal my Ringmaster position from me.
“I can help with the online searches. I’m pretty good at that kind of thing.” Those intense eyes didn’t even blink he was watching her so closely.
She looked away. “I usually—” He’s a saboteur, dammit.
“I know I’m an outsider, and I don’t know everything I should about the Carnival. But I do know how to use the Internet to my advantage. I’ve worked with computers and technology for a long time now, and I’m good at research. I can help.”
Rilla scowled at him. He seemed so sincere, not at
all like a killer or a poisoner. She’d have said that Jack would approach the world head-on rather than by acts of sabotage. Could her father have been wrong?
But if Jack was part of it, she could get his help with the Gift and dig for information at the same time. She shrugged. “Bring your laptop over to my van.”
He smiled at her as if he’d won some kind of battle.
Perhaps he had.
CHAPTER NINE
Jack hesitated at the caravan door. He had his laptop under one arm, his hand raised to knock.
What was he doing here? Research? Recon? His father had just given him a knowing look as he’d left their caravan; he knew what Blago thought he was doing here.
But it had been more a concern for the grief on her face, the way she’d teared up when she mentioned her father that had made him follow her out of the tent.
He thinned his lips and knocked on the door. Rilla opened it almost immediately, her body outlined by the light directly behind her in the caravan. Jack swallowed. Suddenly, he didn’t want to be alone with her in the caravan.
“Can you show me around the Carnival a little? Tell me more about it?” he blurted.
She gave him a quizzical look and tipped her head to one side. “We have research to do,” she said, glancing back inside.
“I know. We’ll get to it. Two minds will be able to do it faster than one. But…” He thought desperately. “I need a better grounding in the Carnival. The way it works. The rules.”
Rilla sighed. “Give me your laptop. I’ll put it inside, and grab my jacket.” She disappeared, then came back moments later with a light jacket that covered her bare arms in the cool summer evening.
“Do you want to see anything in particular?” she asked.
Jack shook his head. “You lead the way. I’ll ask questions if I think of them.”
Rilla nodded and walked along the narrow alleyways of the caravan boneyard. “We always put our caravans in the same place, every stop, so we know where to find people,” she said. “There’s a hierarchy to it.”
“You get to choose first?” he asked.
She glanced at him curiously. “Not really, that’s not how my father worked. He did like having the biggest caravan—but that was more about his size than his position.”
“But it has to have someone at the top, that’s how a hierarchy works.”
“I guess.” Rilla seemed to consider it, gazing around at the caravans as if she’d never seen them before. “Perhaps it was the wrong word to use. It’s more about the community, with the Nine leading in the different areas. He liked to be at the center of things, and everyone constantly wanted to talk to him, so our caravan was always in the middle.”
Jack nodded. That made sense. “So, how does the Nine work?”
Rilla sighed into the night, a soft sound that was carried away on the breeze. “Sometimes you’re so green, it’s hard to see why people around here accept you so easily.” She eyed him like he was an insect under a magnifying glass. “How do you do it?”
Jack shook his head. “I don’t think they accept me. I get strange looks all day.” He shrugged. “But for those who do accept me, it’s mostly because of my dad. He’s the one everyone remembers. I’m just riding on his coat tails.”
Rilla didn’t reply, just kept walking. Jack followed behind her, trying to think of a question that would break the awkward silence. He remembered the weird hypnosis episode with Garth. “Garth did do something weird to me early on. I thought it was hypnosis at the time, but now… He told Viktor that the Carnival didn’t think I was a threat. I think they mentioned it to a few people.”
Rilla’s eyes sharped on his. “He used his Carnival connection to assess you?”
Jack lifted one shoulder. “It was more like an ambush. He said despite the fact I wasn’t connected yet, the Carnival thought I was okay.”
Rilla inhaled, and then let the air out in a huff of breath. “Okay then. We’ll start with information about the Nine. You ask me whatever you need to know and I’ll try to answer it,” she said.
“Sounds good.”
“I’ll start with the people you know.” Rilla took a step forward then turned to face Jack. She lifted one graceful finger and counted off. “First, there’s Garth, the Giftmaster. He’s the center of the Nine, like the heart. Viktor is Thrillmaster and he’s in charge of the thrill rides, and anything mechanical. Alfie is Beastmaster; his family looks after our animals and keeps them safe. Christoph is Showmaster, so he leads the sideshows.”
“Everyone has their own area?”
Rilla nodded enthusiastically, like a teacher with a pupil who’s finally figured out a difficult equation. “And together, we all form the Carnival’s heart and soul. The accumulation of everyone’s thoughts and feelings and ideas creates this living place that binds us all.” Her hands were swirling in the air, indicating everyone and everything around them.
Jack kept walking, not sure how literally she meant that. His mind shied away from it. “And my dad, he was an integral part of all this?”
Rilla nodded again. “Christoph said your father would have been Showmaster if he’d stayed.”
Jack considered that piece of information. He could imagine his father bossing people around. That’s why he was a natural for Ringmaster. The question was would he be better than Rilla? “Who else is there?”
“There’s a Foodmaster, a Chancemaster, a Buildmaster, and of course the Ringmaster leads them all.”
Jack counted on his hand. “That’s only eight. Who’s the last one?”
“There isn’t one.” At Jack’s frown, Rilla added. “Not now anyway. In the very beginning, among the first families to be part of the Carnival, there was another leader. A magician and his family. He was the Blessingmaster, the one who watched the magic and kept it strong.”
“What happened to them?”
“They were thrown out. Forever. They did the unthinkable.”
Jack raised his eyebrows. “More unthinkable than stopping the Gift?” he said with a sharp edge to his voice. “I thought that was the worst thing you could do.”
Rilla didn’t seem to notice. “The magician used curse magic.”
A chill made the hairs on Jack’s arm stand on end. “Curse magic? That doesn’t sound good.”
Rilla stopped and turned to Jack. “It’s the complete opposite of what we do here. Curse magic is about hurting people, particularly your family, and gaining magic from it. Our magic is about blessings, fulfilling dreams. Sometimes, it’s not exactly what a Mark thought they wanted, but it always makes their life better.”
They were now walking down the main sideshow strip, and Jack took a moment to let Rilla’s words sink in. He’d come a long way to accepting the magic in the Carnival. It didn’t seem so much further to accept that there might be other forms of magic out there.
In the dark, the bright colours of the attractions were muted, their movement halted. Even the lights were dull compared to earlier in the evening when the shows had been at full speed for the punters.
“Why do curse magic then?” he asked. “Instead of your magic?”
“I’ve heard that, at first, the magic seems stronger, a bigger rush. And sometimes, it even is. But it’s a darker path, and one the Carnival rejects completely. Hence the gap.”
“Do you know anyone who does curse magic?”
Rilla shook her head. “Just what I’ve been told. Dad liked to tell stories.”
“Everyone talks fondly of your father,” he said softly.
“He was a great man. It’s hard to comprehend that he’s actually gone.” Rilla’s voice hitched and she cleared her throat.
Jack hesitated. “If it helps, you could tell me about him.”
One hand darted up to wipe a stray tear from her face before Rilla turned to face Jack. She wrapped her arms around the front of her body and started speaking softly. “He had a huge personality and commanded a room as soon as he entered. I’m not entirely certain he was
even aware of doing it. But for all that, he was kind, caring and thoughtful. He loved every last person in the Carnival, and had time for everyone.”
Tears streaked down her face, and Jack resisted the powerful urge to reach out and wipe them away. “It’s tough, isn’t it?”
She nodded, but turned away again. “There’s a hole where he should be, and I don’t know how to…” she broke off, and a sob escaped.
Jack stepped closer, unsure what he should do, but knowing he wanted to offer comfort. He put a hand on her arm. “It was the same with my mother. She and my dad were inseparable. She left a big gap.”
“Does it ever get better? Will I ever feel normal again?” The words were almost ripped out of her.
Jack hesitated, trying to answer without upsetting her further. “You don’t forget them. But there comes a time when you can get on with your life again.”
She nodded, but didn’t look into eyes. “Let’s head back to the caravan. We have work to do.”
***
The caravan seemed small with Jack in it. Funny, because she’d lived in the same small space with her father without blinking an eye, and he’d been another half a foot taller and a whole lot wider than Jack. But there was an intensity to Jack, like he was concentrating on everything around him at all times, and it made her nervous.
Her father had been much easier to deal with. And that was saying something.
“How do you do that?” she blurted.
Jack frowned. “Do what?”
She waved a hand in the air. “Soak up everything around you. You always seem like you’re watching everything, taking it all in. Assessing it.”
Jack raised his eyebrows in surprise. “I’ve never thought of it like that. What makes you ask?”
“You’re doing it now. I can see it—” Rilla broke off, embarrassed. She looked down at her computer screen and wished she’d never spoken.
“What do you suggest we look for first?” Jack said softly. He was watching her over the screen of his laptop. His eyes caught and held her gaze, and for a moment she wondered if he knew how nervous he was making her. Out walking in the carnival, when he’d been asking questions and she’d been teaching him about her world—that had seemed easy and relaxed. Now she could feel the tension thickening the air around her.