by Trudi Jaye
“I’m sorry, Tilly. I really am.”
In the face of his apology, Tilly didn’t know what to do. She’d carried the grudge around for so long, letting it go so easily didn’t seem right. “You broke my heart, Cal. Apologizing like it was nothing isn’t going to make up for it.”
“I know it was wrong. I was just a stupid kid back then. And after you left without saying good-bye, I guess I convinced myself you were in the wrong so what I’d done didn’t matter.” He took a breath. “I’m not the same dumbass boy I used to be,” he said softly.
Tilly’s breath hitched, and she sniffed, still trying to hold back the tears that wanted to fall. She wiped a hand over her nose. “I guess. You’re a head chef now. You’re a whole other level of asshole.”
He grinned. “It’s kind of expected. They’d be disappointed if I was too nice to them.”
Tilly thought of the kitchens she’d worked in. “You’re probably right.”
Cal’s eyes became serious again, and he focused intently on her face. Tilly shifted uncomfortably under the scrutiny. It reminded her again that she was naked under the water. She let her hands float to the surface, hoping they would cover anything that might be visible.
“Why did you leave? All those years ago?” His voice was soft, as if the answer didn’t matter. But his eyes told a different story.
“My mother…” Tilly croaked out, her heart beating fast. She cleared her throat and started again. “As soon as she gets tired of people or can’t see the benefit to her, she’s off. She’s never changed.”
“What’s happened to you, Tilly? You look so sad.”
Tilly’s breath hitched and she looked away. It was strange but somehow comforting to have someone notice that kind of thing. It had been a long time since anyone cared enough to ask her. Probably since she was last at the Carnival. She wanted to tell him the truth, wanted to tell him everything. “It’s not easy out there in the real world,” she said softly.
“Why didn’t you come back to us? We would have taken you in.”
Tilly raised her eyebrows at him, and he flushed. They’d just talked about why she didn’t come back. “My mother had another child, you know. Another little girl. She called her Kitten.” She needed to remind herself why she was here.
Cal raised his eyebrows. “Kitten?”
“Don’t judge. It’s not as though we have normal names. Tillemina and Calcium.”
“My mother thought I would need a strong name,” he said defensively.
“My mother is just crazy.”
They smiled at each other, and Tilly could see Cal knew exactly what she was talking about.
“So tell me about your sister,” he said.
Tilly took a breath to gather her whirling thoughts. The bubbles tickled at her throat and chest. Maybe if she could just sit here and talk to him long enough, he’d decide to get out before her. “She’s seven and the cutest little girl you’ll ever see. She’s got Mama’s black hair and wears it long down her back.”
“Is she as cheeky as you used to be?”
Tilly shook her head. “She’s as quiet as a church mouse. She likes to read and has this little serious face.”
Cal nodded, and Tilly had the feeling he understood why all of that worried her. “How’s your mother these days?” he asked.
“The same,” she said.
He nodded again, and Tilly tried not to think about her mother with Kitten. She would take care of her. She had to. And in the meantime, Tilly would figure out a way to get Kitten out of there before she was old enough for them to start abusing her talents, whatever they might be.
“So tell me about your kitchen work. Where did you learn to cook?” asked Cal.
“Here and there. I always cooked for Mom and me. It seemed like the only thing I could do.” She glanced at Cal—he was watching her intently. “When I left home, I started working at a great Italian restaurant, where I learned all the basics, and then at a Japanese place, where I learned about knives. Then I worked at a fancy restaurant in Chicago, and that was okay, but the head chef liked to yell, which got on my nerves after a while.”
“I’ve only ever worked under Tami.” Cal sounded wistful.
“She’s an amazing chef. I’ve worked with several other head chefs, and I still think she’s the best.”
“Sometimes I think it would be nice to learn that for myself.”
Tilly shook her head. “You’ve learned from the best. That’s all you’d find out if you left here.”
“Maybe.” He absently swirled the water in front of him. “What was it like leaving the Carnival?”
Tilly shrugged. “I liked it to begin with. I got to do what I wanted a bit more. But you know Mom.”
“Yeah. She would have made it hard soon enough, right?”
“She always does.”
“Where is she now?”
“She finally settled in one place with Kitten. Out in L.A.” Her mother had found people of like mind and decided to stay. “What about you? How long have you lived in this house?”
He looked around the room. “It used to be old Granko’s place. Do you remember?”
Tilly nodded.
“When he died, Abba offered it to me, and I snapped it up. I’d been chafing living with Mom and Dad. They’re great parents, but there’s only so much coddling you can take.”
Tilly nodded again. They were great parents. Coddling or not.
“When did you decide to go into the kitchens? I always thought you’d follow your dad onto Davos’s build crew.” Cal’s dad had always been so proud of the generations of his family who’d been part of the Buildmaster’s setup and shakedown team during the season.
Cal shrugged. “Yeah, me too. I don’t really know. Abba always made us do dishes in the kitchens as punishment, remember?”
Tilly nodded, grinning.
“I started helping out in the kitchen after school and discovered I had an affinity for it. That was after you left.” He glanced up at her, then away. “Tami offered me a full-time position to see how I liked it. When she asked me to officially become part of the Foodmaster’s crew, I jumped at the chance.”
“What did your dad say?”
Cal grimaced. “He was disappointed. But he understood… in the end.”
“You cooked him something?”
Grinning, Cal nodded. “A great big dinner with everything I could think of that he likes, including a fresh-baked apple pie and handmade vanilla ice cream for dessert.”
Tilly laughed out loud. “I bet he couldn’t get you into being a chef fast enough after that.”
Cal’s father had always been notorious for his love of food, which was funny, given his tall, thin, lanky frame. He could eat an entire horse and come back for seconds.
Without noticing, they’d moved closer, and one of Tilly’s feet touched Cal’s. She pulled back, her gaze whipping up to his face. Even in the dim light, she could see his eyes were already on her, his expression fierce. She didn’t move, all of a sudden feeling like a mouse—a naked mouse—being watched by a large predator. Her skin tingled.
He leaned forward and pushed a wisp of hair off her face with his hand. “I missed you when you left.”
Tilly’s heart leaped. “I missed you too. My mom…” She trailed off, knowing she didn’t have to explain to Cal. He’d always understood.
He leaned in and kissed her softly, their lips barely touching. Heat flared between them, and Tilly froze, unable to move. Being on good terms with Cal was better than him being angry with her, but could she actually do this and keep her heart whole? And what about Cal? She didn’t want to hurt him either. Not now. What would happen when he found out about her?
But the temptation to lean in and feel his lips on hers was too strong. He felt so good as his lips coaxed hers to respond, and heat ignited inside her. She pushed aside all the reasons she shouldn’t kiss Cal and sighed into him. It came out more like a breathy moan, and Cal took that as an invitation to take
the kiss deeper. Desire swept up her body and she wrapped her arms around his neck, digging her fingers into his thick blond hair.
His hands came up around her back, caressing her body softly under the water. Cal drew her against his chest, and Tilly sighed as their bodies came to rest against each other fully, skin to skin. The water bubbled around them, lapping at their bodies. Tilly felt like she was about to catch fire. She could barely breathe for the sensations coursing through her body.
Abruptly, Cal pulled back. “Are you naked?” he asked. “I thought…” He shook his head as if to clear it. “I thought it was just a pale bikini.”
Tilly’s face went red. “I didn’t bring a swimsuit,” she said defensively. “I didn’t know you’d come back and get in with me!” She felt as if cold water had been poured over her head and tried to pull back out of his arms. What had she been thinking?
He swallowed hard but didn’t let her go. Then, as if he couldn’t help himself, his eyes slid to her mouth and he leaned in to kiss her again. His hands smoothed the soft skin on her back, and he pulled her closer, deepening the kiss. Her breasts touched his muscled chest again and her nipples hardened, sending ripples of pleasure through her body. Tilly lost all reason. She couldn’t form a rational thought; all she wanted was to feel Cal’s skin on her body, his lips caressing hers.
He released her mouth, placing his lips on the sensitive skin behind her ear, and then nuzzled his way down her neck. Tilly leaned her head back, giving him better access, and shivered as awareness blazed through her body.
“How can it feel so good after all this time?” he whispered.
Tilly shook her head. “I don’t know. It just does.” She pulled his head back to hers and took his mouth in another soul-searching kiss. Her hands roved over the soft skin of his neck, his sleek muscled shoulders and arms, wanting to touch every part of him.
He shifted away slightly, but before she could complain, he dragged her with him, pulling her so she straddled his lap, her body above his and the sensitive peaks of her nipples showing above the water, dappled with the glow from the fairy lights around them. He looked down at her breasts as he eased her toward him. He leaned in, taking one nipple in his mouth, swirling his tongue over the raised point. Tilly gasped, then cupped his head, holding him there as he created sensations through her body that she’d thought she’d never feel again. The warm bubbles lapped against her already sensitive skin.
Cal raised his head and claimed her mouth with his. Their bodies were so close. Tilly felt she could feel the imprint of his skin on hers, and his heart beat in unison with her own.
“Hello? Anyone home?” a loud female voice called out in the dark night.
Tami, the Foodmaster. Cal’s boss.
Tilly jerked back, her eyes wide. “Oh my God. She can’t find us like this.”
CHAPTER FIVE
Cal smoothed one hand down her back in a soothing motion. “We’re both grown adults, Tilly.”
Her panicked eyes darted around. “I don’t have a towel.”
Cal’s amused expression made her scowl.
“I’m taking your towel,” she said.
He shrugged and then hauled himself up out of the spa, his long, lean muscled body rippling in the moonlight. Tilly swallowed. He was magnificent.
He flicked his arms and legs, trying to shake off the excess water, and then walked down the leafy path toward the door, dripping on the cobblestones.
As soon as he was gone, Tilly leaped out of the pool, dried herself as fast as possible, and dragged on her clothes. She tried to pull herself together but had a feeling she just looked rumpled and soggy.
When she finally arrived, Cal and Tami were in the kitchen, sitting at the table with a warm cup of coffee in front of them. A third cup was waiting. Tilly smiled at Tami and then slid into a chair, taking a sip of the hot liquid.
“Thanks for your help in the kitchen today, Tilly,” said Tami, her voice warm like maple syrup on pancakes.
Tilly smiled. “No problem. I’m happy to help.”
“That’s good to hear because I need to ask another favor. Another of the chefs for the wedding tomorrow has fallen ill with the same bug, and I need someone to take his place at the actual venue. Cal tells me you’re great in the kitchen and could probably take over.” She raised her eyebrows at Tilly and smiled.
Tilly swallowed and glanced at Cal. He smiled encouragingly back at her as well.
The knot of guilt in her stomach expanded. Cal, Tami, Garth. She was here to help destroy them all. She didn’t know if she could do it. She thought of Cal’s hands on her body, his lips on hers. The heat that had erupted out of nowhere between them. What was she going to do?
Then she remembered Kitten and hardened her thoughts. She’d always known she was going to have to hurt them. That was the whole point of why she was here. She’d had to choose her sister over everyone else—she always did—and she wasn’t going to back down on that decision now just because she was wishing it could be different. Cal was a grown man. He’d get over it.
Hopefully, so would she.
“I thought I was helping already?” she said.
“We need someone to help Cal at the venue once everything is finished in our kitchens and transported to the site.”
Tilly hesitated. Spending all day with Cal, knowing how this would all turn out when they found out she was a spy, would be painful. And it had been a long time since she worked regularly in a kitchen. She couldn’t use her magic to cook the food, to make the dishes she created beyond sublime.
Veronica had taken that from her, and now she didn’t know if she could do more than the prepping she’d been doing that day.
“Don’t just say yes to please me, you hear? If you’re not sure about it, don’t think you can handle it, you just tell me now, and we’ll figure it out.” Tami’s voice was stern.
Tilly shook her head. She had to do it. There was no point being here if she wasn’t going to do everything she could to fit in. “No, I’m fine. I’d be happy to help.” Helping would make them feel like she was one of the team. She could dig for information. That was why they’d sent her here in the first place.
Tami nodded and stood up, drinking the last of her coffee. “I have a whole heap to arrange before the morning. You two better get to bed now. You have to be up with the birds.” She waved one elegant hand and was gone.
Tilly turned to Cal. There was a lightness to his expression that twisted her heart. Cal didn’t deserve to be dragged down into her life. And he sure wouldn’t want to be around her once he figured out she was here as a spy. There was no future for them, despite the hungry kiss they’d shared, and Tilly knew that. She would have to make sure there was no repeat.
She cleared her throat. “I guess we better get some sleep,” she said.
Cal nodded. “A big day tomorrow. I’ll wake you at five o’clock.”
Tilly stood and turned to go.
“Tilly.”
Slowly, she turned back to Cal.
“You’re still a great kisser,” he said with a grin.
She scowled and turned around, hiding her grin from him as she headed for her bedroom.
Shutting her bedroom door behind her, Tilly leaned on it and closed her eyes, relieved to be out of his intoxicating presence. She’d forgotten how Cal affected her.
It was as she was rummaging around in her bag, looking for her pajamas, that her mobile phone went off, vibrating along the tabletop next to her bed. Tilly’s heart stopped. There was only one person who’d be ringing on that number.
“Hi, Mom,” she whispered.
“Hello, Tillemina. I was just ringing to check that you were all right. I haven’t heard anything from you.” The reprimand in her mother’s voice was clear.
“Not much has happened. I’ve been hard at work in the kitchens.”
“What are you doing playing around in the kitchens? You have serious work to do.” Her mother’s voice was sharp, not even bothering to hid
e her anger.
“I’m gaining their trust, Mother.” Tilly pushed away the images that threatened to overwhelm her: kissing Cal in the hot pool, the feel of his skin against hers, their lips pressed hard together. “I’ve been working in the kitchens for a wedding they’re catering.”
“Catering? Don’t be ridiculous. Why would they be doing outside catering?”
“Cal said they needed the money. I don’t know anything else about it.”
Daphne Shaw was silent for a moment while she thought it over. “You might just have given me what we need. I’ll get back to you.”
The line went dead, and Tilly sagged onto her bed. She’d helped her mother? How? What had she said? She’d been meaning to drag it out a little, not give her mother too much information, at least not at first. Just until she’d figured out what would hurt the Carnival and what wouldn’t. Her fingers tightened around her mobile phone. It didn’t matter—in the end, she’d have to tell them what she knew because she needed to keep her little sister safe.
The Carnival would just have to fend for itself.
CHAPTER SIX
The next morning, true to his promise, Cal woke her early and they dragged their freezing butts over to the kitchens. There was already some action, dishes clanking, water running, fridges opening and shutting, and people chatting. It was the perfect place to forget about her worries.
Tami rushed over as soon as she saw them. “Cal, you know where you’re at. Tilly, you follow me. You can be on the veggie station for now.”
For the rest of the morning, Tami had her hard at work while keeping an eye on Tilly’s methods, the way she cut, how she moved, the things she did, until finally she nodded. “Okay, you’re good. Now to some proper cooking.”
Tami led Tilly over to another station where a variety of exotic ingredients were lined up on the table.
“We’re doing some special dishes, just to get the word out there about what we can do. I need you to work with Cal on this. He’ll tell you exactly what he wants you to do. Follow him exactly.”
Tilly nodded. “Sure.”