‘Yes, he does, he really startled me last evening while you were out. I thought someone was trying to burgle the place.’
Daniel scraped back his chair. ‘I’m off. I’ll be in about noon with Jim who helps out on the farm. We’ll have some bread and cheese and you can cook a meal for you and me this evening. There’s a larder full of ingredients.’
‘Yes.’
He turned at the door. ‘You’re so beautiful, Betsy, whatever was he thinking about to sell you?’ Then he was gone.
They came together that night. Daniel was gentle at first, nothing like he had been in the cart on the way back from market. As he caressed her and she responded, their lovemaking became more passionate until, exhausted they went to sleep in each other’s arms.
Her days fell into a pattern of working, often in the dairy with Hannah, the pretty little fourteen-year-old, cooking and shopping in the market in nearby Lampney. She went in once a week with Daniel when he took his milk and butter to be sold.
Most evenings were spent reading and talking with Daniel after their meal. She learned that he had been to school when he was a boy and worked on his mother’s farm before he began in the mornings and when he came home again. She thought he seemed a natural scholar and, had he been born into a wealthier station in life would surely have gone to university. They had some lively discussions and went up to their bedroom happy and stimulated.
Most nights they made love at least once and for the first time since she lost her virginity Betsy knew the ecstasy that was possible with a man.
It amazed her in those first weeks how deeply contented she was with this man, who had, after all, bought her in the marketplace. The work did not bother her at all. She had been used to it since she was old enough to toddle but her awakening feelings for Daniel did surprise her. She was discovering so many things about her new husband. She learned quickly that his temper was powerful but slow to ignite and to her surprise she found she wanted so much to please him.
The halter was there still, evidence of something she felt to be degrading, yet she had not asked him to move it.
One morning when he was out on the farm and she was sweeping the kitchen she paused beneath the straw halter. She reached up and unhooked it from the nail. If I burnt it would he notice it wasn’t here? she thought, and knew immediately that he would. The idea was swiftly followed by her strong feelings that he too had to recognize the place women should have in the world. She knew the humiliation of being ‘bought’ and he had to acknowledge and do something about the situation.
She had thought this when she was with George Hatton too. He had not bought her as Daniel had, but he treated her as a servant nevertheless. On the occasions, near the beginning of their marriage, when she had defied him and tried to make him understand her feelings he had hit her.
‘You are my wife and you will do as I say,’ had been flung at her many times. He was mean with his money too, and there was never any chance that she could leave and find employment anywhere else.
During that first month with Daniel she had learnt to trust him as a human being. He was blunt and lacking in some of the finesse she had absorbed when she was with Mrs Wallasey, but she could not blame him for this. She realized how fortunate she was to have had those years and Daniel at least treated her mind as equal to his. Carefully she replaced the straw halter.
‘One day,’ she said to Dumbo, who was following her around, ‘one day he will understand how shameful that is.’
Betsy and Daniel had been together for six weeks when Daniel’s brother arrived. It was midday and, along with Jim the cowman, they were sitting round the kitchen table eating. Sometimes when they were very busy they took their food into the fields with them, but most days they came to the farmhouse kitchen. Jim was tall, skinny and very quiet, except when he was with the cows; he talked to them all the while. ‘Has a way with cows, has Jim,’ Daniel said to Betsy one evening. ‘Understands ’em more than he does humans. That’s one reason why they give us so much milk – they’ll give to Jim they will.’ Betsy had become used to the silent young man sitting down to eat with them. Although he didn’t appear to, he actually ate his meal quickly and was always finished first. Pushing his chair back, he’d say, ‘I’ll get back then,’ and glide silently through the door. On this particular day they had only just begun their repast when there was a banging on the door and a fair-haired man dressed in breeches and check shirt came in.
‘Joseph, what brings you here?’ Then, turning to Betsy he said, ‘This is my brother Joseph.’
Joseph’s eyes blatantly admired her and he moved along the backs of the chairs until he was immediately behind her. ‘Heard my brother had wed but didn’t know he’d found such a beauty. You must come over to Sandilands Farm and meet the rest of the family. Ma’ll be surprised.’
Daniel stood up and pushed his chair back from the table. ‘Will you eat with us, Joseph, then state your business here. We’ve a deal of work to do.’
‘That’s OK, Dan. You and Jim get back to work, I’ll entertain your wife and yes, something to eat and drink would be great. I rode over and it’s thirsty work.’ Daniel walked to the dresser and returned with a plate and an earthenware mug. He cut a hunk of bread, a thick wedge of cheese and poured cider into the mug. ‘Sit yourself here,’ he said sharply, indicating his place, ‘I’ll take the stool over by Betsy.’ He came round with a kitchen stool and placed it next to her, moving his plate of food across.
Throughout the meal she was very conscious of Joseph watching her from across the table. He was as unlike Daniel as if they were not related. Daniel hadn’t mentioned family to her until she said to him one evening, ‘How many brothers and sisters have you, Daniel?’
‘Only the one, and t’isn’t often we see each other.’ Then he had changed the subject. Now, though, he raised his voice, ‘So what brings you over here, Joseph? Is Ma well?’
‘Same as usual. Best bring Betsy over to see her.’ Jim finished his meal, and with a nod to Daniel, slid through the door.
‘He doesn’t say much,’ Joseph observed. ‘So, when you coming over?’
‘Very anxious to see me suddenly, aren’t you? You’ve never bothered before.’
‘Ma likes to know what you’re up to.’
‘When it suits her,’ Daniel said. Then, turning to his wife, ‘Come on, Betsy, we’ve work to do outside. Leave this for now.’ He turned to his brother as he left and urging Betsy in front of him, said, ‘Tell Ma we’ll be over one day.’ Outside he took hold of Betsy’s hand saying, ‘Don’t look so surprised. Didn’t think I would leave you in there with him, did you?’
‘I can take care of myself you know, Daniel.’
There was half a smile on his lips and in his eyes as he said, ‘Maybe you can, yes, I daresay you can do so very well, but I’m taking no chances. I know my brother and he’s not laying his dirty paws on you, Betsy.’
Joseph came out to them. ‘Always the unsociable creature – you don’t change much, Dan.’ Turning to Betsy he said, ‘When you need a bit of fun get him to bring you over to see us. It’s not much for a beauty like you stuck in this dismal place.’
Before she had time to reply Daniel said, ‘You help Jim with the cows, Betsy, while I find out what my brother wants from us. I won’t be long.’ Then, taking Joseph’s arm, but not in a friendly way, more like a man of law taking a prisoner, he ushered his brother back towards the house.
True to his word, Daniel wasn’t long, no more than fifteen minutes, and he looked to be in a black mood. She said nothing in front of Jim, but later in the house when they were eating the supper she had prepared she said, ‘So, did you find out what your brother wanted, Daniel?’
‘I did. He wanted to see you, the news that I had taken a wife had reached them. He also wanted to borrow money. Joseph is always broke. Ma usually bails him out but I gather this time she said no.’
‘He lives with your Ma?’
‘Yes. Manages the farm, but he’s a
poor farmer. I will take you over one day when it suits m – us.’ Betsy’s spirits rose. He almost said, when it suits me, then changed it to to when it suits us and she felt a glow of achievement. In the weeks of their marriage she had seen Daniel change from giving her orders to discussing things with her. He listened to her views, and they talked everything over together. He had a surprising turn of humour which delighted her. She thought it would be interesting to meet his mother and see what her farm was like.
‘Joseph hasn’t a wife then?’ she said.
‘No.’
Joseph had looked about thirty to her, but realizing that her husband was not in a mood to expand on this subject, she swiftly changed it. Later, in bed he said, ‘Betsy, did you think Joseph was handsome?’
The question took her by surprise. ‘Not really,’ she said. His arm came round her, ‘Oh Betsy, you’re so beautiful, beautiful inside as well as outside, I love you very much. Our marriage is good for you too, isn’t it?’
‘You know it is. I am happy, Daniel and – and I love you too.’ Their lips met in a passionate kiss, and as she guided him into her, she gave herself with an abandonment she had not even suspected she was capable of before knowing him.
Nothing further was said about visiting Daniel’s mother and in any case they were busy on the farm. She mentioned his brother one evening when they were having their meal. ‘Did you and your brother grow up on Sandilands Farm, Daniel?’ Smiling, she added, ‘I’m trying to picture you as a boy.’
‘I was an ugly little boy.’
She laughed. ‘How do you know? No one came over to you and said, “You are an ugly little boy,” did they?’
Suddenly there was an uncanny silence, she could hear no sounds at all, not even her own breathing. Daniel broke it with a single word which came out as almost a sob.
‘Yes,’ he said.
He looked so vulnerable sitting opposite her, his head bowed and very still, almost as if he were afraid to move. She rose swiftly, went across and put her arms round his shoulders in a big hug.
‘Who, Daniel, who said that to you? Joseph?’
His head sunk lower on to his chest and she could feel him trembling. ‘No, not Joseph. My mother.’ As she laid her cheek against his she tasted the salty dampness of his tears.
Betsy knew she was pregnant the morning after she conceived. No sooner had her feet touched the ground than she had to rush for the slop-bucket. The sickness left her feeling weak, and she went back to sit on the bed for a few minutes to recover. Her thoughts flew to what they had eaten for supper last night. Pork, vegetables and a thick gravy. This had never given her any problems before.
She still felt decidedly queasy and slowly made her way downstairs to empty the bucket. Daniel would be in for his breakfast soon. The very thought of preparing food made her heave again, and it was then that she realized she was with child.
A surge of joy filled her being. She loved Daniel and wanted his child, but also there was the thought deep within her that she was safe. After all the years of abuse with George Hatton which had made her dread the physical side of marriage and, at times, had almost broken her spirit, she was overwhelmed with shock that she could, after all, conceive.
Not that Daniel had expressed a need for a family above all other considerations, yet, somehow, it still made her feel good. It would surely please him, and more and more Betsy wanted to please her husband. Slowly she ran her hands over her stomach. She would nurture their child, was even now doing so, would feel it move within her, would suckle it, play and teach it even as Mrs Wallasey had taught her in those wonderful years when she was working at Wren Court. A child, a baby, she thought, how will Daniel react?
He would be pleased, of course he would, even though he had such a different attitude to her first husband. He would want a baby and they could afford it. In those first months of marriage to Daniel she had had a firm grip on their financial affairs.
‘You are an unusual woman, Betsy,’ he said to her once.
‘Unusual. I don’t understand what you mean Daniel.’
‘Most women wouldn’t have any idea about finance and certainly would not become involved in the money side of the farm.’
‘I’m not most women, I’m me. I can reason and work things out as well as you can. As most women would be able to given the right chances.’
‘There’s no need to bristle like that, I agree with you, my love. It’s the rest of the world you have to convince.’
‘I suppose so. But how, Daniel? When women are bartered for in the market-place,’ her gaze went towards the door where the straw halter hung, the one symbol her husband refused to relinquish. During the time they had been together they had grown closer than she would have believed possible, yet that necklace of straw was always there, reminding her of her status.
‘It will come,’ he’d said then, ‘to the ones who want it. Many who have known nothing else simply accept their place but you have seen a different way of life and have learnt so much. The answer is to educate everybody, regardless of gender, so that each person has an equal chance in life.’ He walked over and put his arm round her shoulder, ‘There will always be some who are leaders and some who are led. You are strong, like my mother, she too is a strong woman.’
‘She doesn’t approve of me.’
‘That makes us even more of a pair,’ he said quietly, ‘because she doesn’t approve of me either.’
‘Why do you think that, Daniel?’
He shrugged dismissively, ‘Because she has never liked me. I was the odd one always. She doted on Joseph when he was born, she treated my cousins from over the hill with more affection than she ever showed to me. I have often wondered why she hated me so much.’
‘I’ve only seen her once I know, dear, but I don’t think she hates you. She—’
‘Leave it,’ he said suddenly. ‘I don’t want to talk about it, about any of them.’
Now, with the knowledge of a child of her own she wondered again about Daniel’s family. His mother, fair like her younger son, Joseph, had hardly made her feel welcome the day they went to Sandilands Farm. She was plump, with piercing blue eyes and a rather coarse skin, and Betsy could see that once she had probably been pretty. Now, after she had spent years out in all weathers, the elements had taken their toll. She had given them thick chunks of home-made bread with cheese, but conversation had been stilted. Betsy knew she had not contributed much herself and Daniel had seemed almost surly.
His mother had issued instructions to Joseph about what to buy when he went to market next day but had practically ignored her and Daniel. Betsy wondered whether his mother knew that he had bought her, and an embarrassed flush filled her cheeks even now, at the thought of it.
But that was in the past. She had had no choice then, although she had tried to escape from George Hatton on the journey to market. It had been a weak attempt, she realized, for how would she have fared with no money or food and no prospect of work until the next hiring-fair? She had felt so angry when she knew he was selling her; it still simmered within her, yet it had turned out so well. Daniel was as unlike George as it was possible to be. He discussed things with her. About the farm, the house, the country.…
As she set the breakfast things out her thoughts returned to her single visit to Daniel’s family and she wondered afresh why his mother seemed to dislike him so much. For although she had said the opposite to Daniel to try to reassure him, she knew he spoke the truth. She sensed it very strongly in the atmosphere. She also knew that Joseph, like his brother, could read and write, but after meeting the boys’ mother Betsy doubted if she could. Perhaps that was why she was so disagreeable, because Joseph would surely have told her that Daniel’s wife was not illiterate. Was she jealous? Did she feel inferior? Mentally Betsy shook herself. This wouldn’t do, she had work to get through, and the lovely thought which she was holding close to herself, that she was with child brought a happiness to her heart. This evening, when they sat down af
ter their meal she would tell Daniel, because she knew without waiting for further proof that she was pregnant.
By suppertime Betsy had changed her mind about revealing her condition too soon. Even though she was sure she was carrying Daniel’s child it might be best to wait a week or two at least. She hugged the knowledge to herself for the rest of the evening, but next morning when she rose she had to dash for the bucket again. Fortunately Daniel was already downstairs, but on the third day he came up for something he had forgotten and caught her on her knees over the receptacle.
‘Betsy, what is it, my darling?’ When he saw what was happening he gently rubbed her back and once it was over helped her up. ‘You are ill.’ In spite of the deep concern in his voice her mind flew back to his question at the market, Are you healthy? and her angry reply brought a flush to Daniel’s cheeks.
‘Of course I’m not. Having a baby isn’t an illness, it’s a perfectly natural state.’ She regretted her outburst immediately. It was not how she had wanted to tell him the news.
‘I’m sorry,’ her voice caught on a sob, ‘I meant to tell you properly, not like this.’
He caught her to him. ‘It’s all right, there’s nothing to worry about Betsy. Women have babies all the time and everything will be fine. You are pleased, aren’t you?’
Torn between frustration that he should think she was worried about giving birth, and what she now recognized as genuine concern when he had thought she really was ill, she tried to laugh, but it came out as a little sob and as he stroked her hair and held her close she was powerless to stop the tears gushing from her eyes.
‘Oh Daniel, I’m being so stupid and weak.’ She moved from the circle of his arm. ‘I’m sorry, I was going to tell you once I was certain. I am certain. Do you want a child, Daniel?’
‘Of course I do. Do you?’
‘Yes, oh yes.’ His arms engulfed her once more and his strong workworn hands stroked her hair tenderly.
The Straw Halter Page 3