“Erin?” I hear my mom calling and think, yes, maybe this is the answer. Mom can talk some sense into my senseless sister. I find her in the kitchen putting away groceries, but before I can launch into my Paige complaints, Mom is telling me that she’s invited Jon to dinner.
“Tomorrow night,” she continues. “I want both you girls to be here. We’ll eat at about seven thirty.”
“Sounds like a big deal,” I say with a smile as I put the lettuce in the vegetable bin. “Are you and Jon getting serious?”
Mom laughs. “Oh, I wouldn’t call it serious. But I do think it’s time he met you and Paige. I also thought it might be fun for all of us to watch Malibu Beach together. You know, you girls might actually be on it this week.”
“Maybe Paige. I’m sure I ended up on the cutting-room floor.” I put the orange juice in the fridge. “But speaking of Paige…I still can’t believe she’s dating Benjamin.”
“Yes, isn’t that amazing?”
“Amazing?” I close the door and turn to Mom. “Are you nuts?”
“Why?” Mom gives me a blank look.
“Why? Because Benjamin hasn’t even broken up with Mia yet. Because our show is supposed to be covering Mia’s big fashion show in a few days.” I shove a container of oatmeal into the cabinet. “Because Paige made Mia believe they were friends. Because it’s just wrong.” I slam the cabinet door too loudly. “That’s why!”
“You sound angry.” Mom is peering at me now, like I’m the one with the problem here.
“I’m just frustrated, I guess.” My hands ball into fists as I consider how I dropped out of film school—a program that’s not easy to get into—just to help Paige succeed with On the Runway, and this is how she thanks me. “I mean, I’m giving up a lot for Paige’s stupid show and now she’s putting everything at risk for a stupid boy. How fair is that?”
Mom seems to consider this. “Do you think you could be blowing this out of proportion?”
“Mom, you haven’t been around those kids. Do you even watch Malibu Beach?”
“Well, no…”
“Well, maybe you should. It gets pretty brutal. And if Mia finds out that Paige is dating Benjamin behind her back, I sure don’t want to be at Mia’s big fashion show to see what she and her friends do to get even then.”
“Okay, let’s back up the truck, Erin. Now did you say that Benjamin and Mia are still dating?”
“Yes.”
“But Paige told me they broke up.”
“Benjamin might want to break up, but it’s not official. I guess he thinks he needs to do it on the show.” I shake my head. “How mean is that?”
“Probably raises ratings.”
“Whatever. Anyway, do you think it’s right for Paige to be dating a guy who’s still going out with another girl?”
Mom gets a thoughtful look. “No, of course not. But at the same time, I can’t tell Paige what to do, can I?”
“You could advise her against it. Not that she’ll listen.” I look over to Paige’s partially closed bedroom door and wonder if she’s listening to us right now.
“I can tell her what I think,” Mom says quietly. “But she’ll have to make up her mind about it.”
“I can hear you guys,” Paige says as she comes out looking like she’s getting ready to pose for the cover of Elle. “And I appreciate your concern, but you just don’t understand.”
“Why don’t you help us then,” Mom tells her. “Tell us why you think it’s wise to date Benjamin while he’s still technically going with another girl.”
“Because it’s only technically. Malibu Beach is a TV show,” she tells us as if we’ve both been living underground for the past several decades. “The kids on the show are paid to make things look edgy and real and complicated. And, like Benjamin said, the director is going to get a lot of mileage out of the breakup. Benjamin said they’re planning to use it to promote that episode—the breakup episode. Get it?”
“So…you’re saying that Benjamin is only acting?”
“Exactly!” Paige puts the strap of her Gucci purse over her shoulder and glances at her watch. “And now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go.”
“Isn’t Benjamin picking you up?” Mom asks with a creased brow.
“No, we’re meeting.” Paige gets a sneaky look. “A clandestine meeting, to make sure no paparazzi see us.”
“So if there’s no problem,” I inject, “why worry about paparazzi?”
“It’s all about timing, little sister. We don’t want to tip our hand too soon.”
“Then why not just wait,” I ask. “Go out with Benjamin after the big breakup episode airs.”
She looks shocked. “Are you kidding?”
I just shake my head no.
“That’s like forever. Benjamin and I want to be together now, Erin. And, trust me, we know what we’re doing.” Paige puts on an oversized pair of Gucci sunglasses she has somehow managed to afford, like she thinks that’s some clever disguise. “No one will know.”
“Right.” I roll my eyes and wonder where my sister was when God was handing out common sense—probably gazing at herself in a mirror.
“Later,” Paige chirps at us as she goes her merry way.
“See,” I tell Mom after the front door closes. “She’s oblivious. And she’s putting our show in jeopardy. I wonder what Helen Hudson would say if she knew.”
“Oh, Erin,” Mom says calmly. “I’m sure your sister is more concerned over putting your show at risk than you are. On the Runway means a lot to her. And, if anything, I’m guessing Helen Hudson would see this as a fantastic publicity opportunity. The star of On the Runway dating the star of Malibu Beach—just the kind of thing tabloids love. And, for all we know, Mia Renwick might simply be acting too. Maybe she’s not really into Benjamin as much as you think.”
“Maybe not. But I wouldn’t bet on it.” I let out a long sigh as I trek back to my room. Mom’s probably right. Tabloids will love this. And maybe Helen Hudson and Fran will love it too. Maybe I’m the crazy person here. It figures.
In need of consolation, I call Mollie, but once again, she doesn’t answer. And I check my phone and see it’s been ages since she’s called me. That makes me wonder: Is she really this busy or is she snubbing me? I decide to check in with Blake.
“Hey, Erin,” he says cheerfully. “How’s it going?”
“Hey. Have you seen Tony or Mollie lately?”
“Well, I missed seeing them at fellowship group on Saturday night,” he begins slowly, “but that’s because I was with you at that birthday party. Then I slept in the next morning and didn’t make it to church.”
“Neither did I,” I admit.
“Hey,” he says suddenly. “It’s not too late to make the midweek service.”
“That’s right.” I run my fingers through my hair.
“Want to go?”
“Maybe I need to go.”
“How about I pick you up?”
“Sounds good.” Maybe Mollie and Tony will be there.
“See ya at seven.”
As I get ready for church, I realize that I have really been missing fellowship. Between being at my grandmother’s during the holidays, the New Year’s party, and the birthday party, I’ve only been to church about once in the past several weeks. And even though I try to read my Bible somewhat regularly, and I pray whenever I feel like it, I feel pretty spiritually dry at the moment.
We arrive a few minutes late, but soon we’re seated and the rich sound of the worship band playing and singing the words to those familiar songs feels like medicine to me. And before long I’m feeling hopeful and positive, and by the end of the service, which happens to be about forgiveness, I even manage to forgive my sister. Do I agree with what she’s doing? No. But at least I won’t let it build a wall between us. Because whether Paige knows it or not, she needs me. And maybe I need her too.
After church, we mill around and visit with some friends, but I don’t see Mollie and Tony any
where. Not that this is so unusual since they don’t always go to midweek service, but I had hoped to see Mollie tonight.
“Hey, Erin,” Lionel comes over to join us, eyeing Blake curiously. “Hey, Blake. What’s up?”
“Not much,” I tell him, suddenly feeling uncomfortable but not quite knowing why. I mean, Lionel’s been a good friend, but it’s not like we’ve ever been a couple. And yet I get the feeling that he’s not happy to see me with Blake.
“How was the birthday party?” he asks.
“It actually went pretty well,” I tell him with a smile. “Thanks for asking.”
“It was fun,” Blake adds. “In a crazy Hollywood sort of way. My little sister is telling all her friends that I’m going to be on the show now, but I kind of doubt that I’ll make the cut.”
“Maybe you should be glad for that,” Lionel tells him.
I want to ask Lionel what he means by that, but I suspect I already know. I think Lionel thinks this whole reality TV business is kind of shallow and silly…and a waste of time…and not very spiritual. I totally agree.
We tell Lionel good-bye and head out, but I can’t help but feel somewhat discouraged, or maybe I’m offended, by his attitude. And this bugs me on two levels. First of all, I wonder why I should be bothered that he looks down his nose on reality TV shows. Wasn’t that my exact attitude from the start? Secondly, I’m disturbed that I’m feeling compromised—like I should defend my involvement with On the Runway. All this is seriously bumming me out, and I was actually feeling pretty good after the worship service.
“You okay?” Blake asks as he’s driving away from the church.
“Yeah…fine.”
“You just got kind of quiet. You seemed happy during church, and now you seem down again.”
“I was happy in church,” I admit. “Thanks for asking me to go with you tonight. I needed it even more than I realized.”
“Me too.”
“The truth is, I probably need it more than ever now that I’m doing the show with Paige…assuming we’re still doing it, that is.”
“Assuming?” Blake glances curiously at me.
I tell him about Paige and Benjamin. And it’s a relief that his reaction is similar to mine. “Wow,” he says, “I wouldn’t want to be in Paige’s shoes when Mia finds out about this. I noticed the look in that girl’s eyes when she first saw Paige at her party. Paige was great at smoothing things over, but Mia does not seem like the kind of girl to take something like this lying down.”
“That’s exactly what I think.”
“I just hope Paige knows what she’s doing.”
“I doubt that.” I sigh. “In fact, maybe it would be a good thing if our show fell apart—I mean, if Paige messes it up so badly that we lose this opportunity.”
“A good thing?” He frowns. “Why?”
“I don’t know…I’m just thinking maybe being on a show like that and being a Christian aren’t really compatible”
“I can’t believe you’d say something like that.” Blake looks seriously disappointed. “Remember how we used to talk, Erin, how we’d say that Christians need to get involved in the entertainment industry to show that life can be lived differently than the way we so often see it being portrayed on shows, say, like Malibu Beach.”
“I know…”
“And I watch my little sister just drinking that Malibu stuff in like it’s the gospel. Katie sometimes even starts acting like Mia Renwick—as if she thinks she’s this entitled princess too. And then I feel even more strongly about the need for Christians to get involved. In fact, I’m considering switching schools and changing majors after this term ends, or maybe in the fall. I’m not sure yet. But, more than ever, I see the need for Christians to have an influence in film and TV, and I’m sorry I caved to my dad about school.”
“Really?”
He nods. “It made sense at first. You know how it is here in LA, everyone and their great-aunt Mary wants to be in the entertainment industry, and there’s only so much room. But to just give up? I don’t know. I guess I need to pray about this whole thing. But seeing the opportunity that you have, Erin. Man, it just gives me hope, you know?”
“I guess so,” I’m surprised by how much Blake is encouraging me. “To be honest, I haven’t exactly been looking at it from that angle. I guess I’ve been pretty self-centered lately. Ironic since I keep telling myself that it’s Paige who’s self-absorbed. Seriously, I think it’s really me.”
“How so?”
“Like I keep worrying about how this show is going to affect me and my future. Or how things like appearing on Malibu Beach makes me uncomfortable. Plus, I find myself judging people like Mia and her friends. It’s like I’m looking at this whole thing backward.”
“Maybe so.”
“I should be asking myself: How can God use me? How can I make a difference? How can I be a light in what seems a pretty dark place?”
“Yes!” He pounds his hand on the steering wheel. “That’s it!”
“Wow, Blake.” I turn and smile at him. “It’s like I’m still in church. Great sermon. Thank you!”
“Hey, you’re the one doing the preaching, sister.”
I laugh and nod. “I guess so. But you must’ve been giving me the right prompts.”
“I’ll tell you what, Erin.”
“What?”
“I’m going to be praying for you. And I’ll ask the others in our fellowship group to pray too. I know you and Paige are going to be traveling and covering things and you might not make it to church as much as you used to. But you will have a bunch of brothers and sisters praying for you, okay?”
“Thanks. I really appreciate that. And I appreciate your friendship too,” I admit.
“Hey, does that mean I’m off of probation now?”
I laugh. “It’s just that I need a friend more than I need a boyfriend at the moment. Okay?”
“Okay.” He nods. “But when you get to that needing a boyfriend place, you’ll keep me on the list, right?”
“Absolutely.”
“High on the list?”
“It’s such a great long list,” I tease.
“But Lionel’s on it…isn’t he?”
“Why would you say that?”
“Because I can tell he wants to be on it.”
“Oh…” I just shrug. “Well, like I said, I’m not in the market for a boyfriend. But the truth is, you’ve been a really good friend lately—maybe even my best friend.”
“Cool.” He grins. “I can live with that. At least for now.”
“Great. So can I.” Okay, I feel a tiny bit guilty for Mollie’s sake because she really is my best friend. At least I thought she was. But, seriously, she’s not been much of a friend recently.
Chapter 15
“Do we need five place settings?” I’m helping Mom get ready for her big dinner with Jon tonight. But she’s set a stack of five plates on the breakfast bar.
“Yes, didn’t you know that Benjamin is joining us too?”
“Benjamin?” I can hear the complaint in my voice, but it’s too late to nip it.
“Yes. One more person at the table won’t hurt anything.”
“So maybe I should invite someone too?” I suggest this knowing I must be sounding pretty cheeky—and I’m getting really aggravated at myself since I wanted to stop acting so self-centered. Unfortunately, changes like this don’t always come easily. At least not for me.
“Sure, you can invite someone if you want. I’ve made enough pasta to feed an army.”
So, without giving this much thought, I call Blake, and the next thing I know he’s on his way to our house for dinner, and I am setting the dining room table with six places.
“This will be nice,” Mom says happily. “Three guys and three girls.”
“Need some help?” offers Paige when she finally emerges from her room. Naturally, she looks like she’s ready to audition for America’s Next Top Model. Yet, instead of offering a snarky com
ment, I tell her she looks pretty.
“Thanks! Why don’t I take over for you,” she offers. “That way you can go fix up some.”
“Meaning I need to?” I tease.
She pats my cheek like I’m about six years old. “No, you look just fine for a little earth muffin.”
I hand her the water pitcher. “Thanks. I can take a hint.”
She just laughs as I go to my room to figure out whether I really want to be a “little earth muffin” tonight or not. Finally, I decide that a little spiffing up probably wouldn’t hurt my image.
It’s around eight by the time all six of us are at the table, and everyone seems to be getting along nicely. And I can tell this makes Mom happy. Jon seems like a genuinely nice guy. He seems interested in Malibu Beach as well as On the Runway, and he even includes Blake in the conversations too, asking him about where he thinks TV is headed. I can tell Blake appreciates this. I also like the way Jon is treating my mom. He’s respectful and thoughtful and in some ways he’s a lot like Dad. I guess that shouldn’t surprise me. After all, why would Mom settle for anything less?
All in all, it’s a pleasant meal and it’s even fun watching Malibu Beach together afterward—and it turns out that both Paige and I end up in some of the scenes. Including the part where I stood up for my sister, which isn’t easy to watch. Partly because it was an uncomfortable moment, and partly because I don’t enjoy seeing myself on the screen. But that’s not the situation with Paige. She’s thrilled to see herself. And it’s obvious the camera loves Paige. In fact, I think the camera loves Paige even more than Mia.
In the end, I have to admit that I like Benjamin more than I expected. He’s polite and considerate and if it weren’t for the Mia factor, I’d welcome him with open arms. Not that he’s asking me to. I can kind of see why Paige is attracted to him, and I have to admit they make a stunning couple—in that Hollywood sort of way.
We’ve just turned off the TV and are back at the table having dessert when someone’s cell phone rings, one of Mom’s pet peeves on a night when she’s fixed a real dinner. But it turns out to be my phone, and to my surprise it’s Mollie.
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