by Heidi Hormel
The laugh burst from her before she could stifle it. He squeezed her hand as she said, “You mean when you turned my hair from Luscious Lemon Blond to greener than a leprechaun?”
“Good thing I’d learned all that chemistry.”
“Hah! I know you called your mom’s stylist, and she gave you the stuff for my hair.”
“Busted,” he said without heat.
She pulled her hand from his when she saw the turnoff to the ranch. Reality. They weren’t a couple, and her biggest problem wasn’t green hair. Her stomach dipped as she saw the tacked-up notices.
“Are you sure you’ll be okay by yourself?” he asked without looking at her.
“Why wouldn’t I be? I’m here by myself all of the time.” She didn’t stop herself from sounding belligerent.
“You have your cell, right?” he asked, holding lightly on to her arm when she opened the door. She nodded. “If you need anything, call me. Call someone.”
“I’ve been on my own for three years.” Hearing those words opened the raw place in her heart that hadn’t completely healed since Violet. “Go save a life or something. I’ve got stalls to clean.” She slammed out of the SUV to prove to herself that she could. What she and Payson had done this morning wasn’t reality, it was just a memory of their past. Her reality, the only one she wanted, was Hope’s Ride, helping children and standing on her own. She glanced over her shoulder. Payson sat there watching her. An involuntary and unwanted shiver ran from her stomach to her breasts as his gaze slid across her skin.
Chapter Ten
Pulling her ball cap firmly into place, Jessie readied herself for the morning’s work, shoving Payson far away from her thoughts. From outside the barn, she heard a stomp and a kick, followed by the rattle of the chain on one of the stalls. She hurried into the darkened aisle, tracing the noise to Molly—of course.
Jessie reached in to pat the little animal. Molly backed away and bared her teeth, making Jessie laugh. She knew why the pony was out of sorts. There weren’t any children around to spoil her with apples and whatever candy they had in their pockets. Jessie’d always imagined that when she and Payson had a child, their little one would learn to ride on Molly. While the pony could be a handful, she was always gentle when a new rider sat on her back. She seemed to know when she needed to stop her shenanigans.
Their child... Jessie’s hand crept to her belly. Could she be pregnant? It was possible.
Another horse pushed his head over the half door and a whinny came from the far left. Back to work. The horses needed to be fed and watered. She gave Molly a final pat, avoiding the snapping teeth.
An hour later, the quiet of the barn had soothed Jessie enough that she didn’t mind when Lavonda interrupted her, insisting that she wanted to help after hearing an edited version of what had been going on at the ranch.
“I told you before. I miss the horses,” Lavonda said firmly. “Even cleaning out the stalls. But you do Molly and Bull.”
“It’s a deal. Since you’re here, let’s turn them out for a little bit, run off some of that energy. I don’t want them all full of sass and vinegar when the kids come back.”
“So you’ll be opening on Monday?” Lavonda asked as they got the buckets of feed organized for the horses.
“It all depends on the judge. Spence is working on that. I can’t imagine we won’t be back in full operation by Tuesday.”
“What about after that? I’m your sister so I’m just going to ask about the money. Where are you getting that? You told me not to say anything to Mama and Daddy, but I have money from my severance...”
Jessie’s gaze flashed up from the bucket of feed. She could not take money from her little sister. “I’ll get more time once they know the hospital is involved.”
“If you say so. And like I’ve told you, if you ever need help with fund-raisers or working with donors, I did all of that in my other life.”
“But you said that you don’t want to do that anymore. What are you going to do? Mama told me you haven’t even applied for a job,” Jessie said, feeling bad that she hadn’t asked before.
“I’m taking my time to figure out what to do next. No need to sic Mama on me. I’m doing some freelance projects.” Lavonda turned away with a bucket in each hand. She didn’t want to talk about it obviously.
Hours passed as Jessie and Lavonda cared for the animals, gave them a little time out of doors and then rounded them up again. They kept the conversation light.
The last animals to return to the barn were, of course, Bull and Molly. The two companions trotted around the paddock, resisting all of the sisters’ tricks to herd them back into the barn. Jessie knew that if she could get Molly into the stall, Bull would follow.
“Darn it, Molly,” Jessie yelled in frustration. “Get over here.” The pony trotted serenely out of reach, kicking up her heels as she passed by.
“She’s being a stinker,” Lavonda said.
“Yeah. I’m even willing to bribe her, but I don’t have any candy with me.”
“Wait a second. I think I have something in my car.” Lavonda raced off to her red Mini Cooper. The car was out of place on a working ranch, but if it held candy, Jessie thought it was about the most useful vehicle around.
Her sister held up a clear plastic bag of colorful candy. Jessie gave Molly a disgusted look as the pony stopped and stared at Lavonda. “You don’t deserve one treat,” she said, reaching for her halter. Molly raced off, only coming back when Lavonda put six gummy worms in her palm. Molly delicately lipped them into her mouth, calmly going into her stall while Jessie herded Bull in after her.
“Darn it, Molly,” Jessie said when the pony kicked over the bucket of water. It would have to be refilled before they left. Jessie handed the bucket to Lavonda, who left the stall to fill it up. Jessie walked up to Molly, snatching her halter so she could talk with the pony eye to eye. “No more. You need to settle down. The kids won’t be here for a few days.” Molly tried to shake away. Jessie held firm. “I know. I’m not happy either, but it’s just the way it is. They’ll be back soon.” Jessie felt her throat tighten. She leaned down to give Molly a hug just as the pony swung her head up. The thunk of thick equine skull against Jessie’s chin made her see stars. She staggered back and Bull snorted, then sidled over, pinning her against the wall, shoulder first. “Oomph,” Jessie said.
“Are you okay?” Lavonda called. “Bull, out of the way.” The other woman pushed into the stall. Molly sniffed at Jessie, then chased Bull away.
“I’m fine,” Jessie breathed. Her shoulder hurt where she’d nailed it on the metal hayrack on the wall. The impact had numbed her fingers, and her face ached from Molly’s thump.
Lavonda ignored her words and helped her from the stall. After making sure the door was locked, she turned to Jessie. “How many fingers am I holding up?”
“You’re a doctor, too?”
“That’s what they always do on Trauma ER.”
“I’m fine, just a couple of bruises. All in a day’s work.”
“I don’t care if you’re older than me. You need a keeper. I’m coming out tomorrow to help, too. Unless Payson’s finally going to step up and help with the actual chores, instead of just filling out paperwork.”
“He’d rather clean the bathroom with a toothbrush than come out here.” Jessie stopped herself from going off on a lengthy tirade. “His schedule is full most of the time, and you know he’s not a horse guy.”
“What time tomorrow?”
“Seven a.m.?”
“Great. I’ll bring the coffee.” Lavonda stared at Jessie’s chin. “It’s already starting to bruise. You’d better get home and put ice on it.”
“Home? This is home,” Jessie said, the good mood disappearing.
“Figure of speech, and you’ll be back here before you know it.�
�� Lavonda gave Jessie a little hug.
“Without Hope’s Ride, I...” Jessie stopped talking and pulled away from Lavonda. She was the big sister and had to get ahold of herself. Boo-hooing about the situation wasn’t going to get it solved. “We’re all done here. Let’s go.”
The two walked to their cars together. “Thanks, worrywart,” Jessie said, hopping into her pickup. “See you tomorrow.”
It was a relief to get back to her truck because she didn’t want to rely on Payson for rides. She watched her sister race down the dirt track, surprised by the speed of such a dinky car. Without Lavonda’s help today, Jessie would still be cleaning stalls. When other volunteers had heard about the ranch’s troubles, they’d said that they would do whatever she needed. She hadn’t wanted to believe it, but after the third call today, Lavonda had pointed out to her that the others really did want to help. They weren’t just being polite. Her sister might actually be right.
* * *
AS PAYSON PULLED into the garage, he was secretly pleased that he wouldn’t be walking into an empty condo. During their marriage, he’d savored the times Jessie was there when he came home—maybe because she was on the road so much. He loved when the house was bright with lights and the air inside scented with Jessie—hay, mesquite and Ivory soap. Home. He shook his head to rid himself of the nostalgia.
“Jessie,” he said as he walked in. She didn’t answer. He went down the short hall to the spare room. The door was closed, so he knocked.
“Come in,” she said.
“I know it’s early, but I wondered if you...” He stopped when he saw that she held a plate with just a lone crust of bread. “You already ate.”
“You don’t mind, do you? There were cold cuts in the fridge.”
“You’re my guest,” he said. “Mi casa es su casa. I was going to suggest going out for something to eat, but that’s okay.”
“Sorry. I didn’t know.”
“Everything fine at the ranch?” he asked.
Jessie turned her head, wincing and exposing a dark purple bruise on her face.
“What the hell happened to you?” he asked, rushing to her. He reached out his hand to hold her face steady, so he could see the damage she’d done this time. “Did you lose consciousness? Do you have a headache? Double vision?” She tried to shake her head away. He held her firmly. “How many fingers?”
“Would you stop,” she said, wrenching away and immediately stopping to hold her shoulder still. “Molly and I bumped heads and I hit the hayrack. It’s nothing.”
“And, of course, you were by yourself. What would have happened if you’d passed out? No one would have found you for hours.”
She glared at him and said, “Actually, Lavonda showed up to help.”
Seeing her hurt...again...made him a little crazy. Had he ever responded the way he planned to when it involved Jessie? He stepped back and said, “I’ll get you an ice pack for your shoulder. It won’t help the bruise on your chin.”
“My chin’s no worse than when one of the kids accidently hits me. The shoulder’s pretty tender. That darned hayrack hit right on my shoulder blade.”
“Why don’t you go to the living room. The TV in there is a lot bigger.” She nodded her head. She’d taken his pathetic olive branch.
As he got the ice pack ready, Jessie sidled past him and dropped her dirty dishes in the kitchen sink. Then she hurried to the living room couch, channel surfing until she found a rodeo, which, no matter the time of day, she had a knack for ferretting out. He made himself relax. She wasn’t trying to annoy him. She genuinely loved the rodeo. He held out the bag of ice, wrapped in a dish towel. She took it and wiggled until she had it between her back and the couch.
“Would you like to join me for a beer or a glass of wine? It is Saturday night.”
“A beer would be great,” she said. The TV went to commercial, and Jessie called into the kitchen, “What did you do today?”
“Went into the hospital to do paperwork. Everyone keeps talking about the paperless office, but I don’t see it,” he tried to joke.
“I’m always amazed how many forms I have to fill out every time I accept a new student.”
Payson relaxed. Maybe they could have a conversation just like a couple of old friends. He looked down at her. Her hair had fallen from her ponytail and her T-shirt was half in and half out of her jeans. She looked like what she was—a cowgirl at the end of a long day of work. She looked like a woman he wanted to take to bed. Crap. That was definitely not what he wanted to do. She reached out to take the bottle from him and their fingers touched. Desire shot through him.
* * *
“FOR GOODNESS’ SAKE,” Jessie said, grabbing the bottle after Payson fumbled it.
He spun away and a second later she heard him open the fridge. Drawers opened and closed, and he asked with little enthusiasm, “So the horses were all okay?”
“I’m sure they think they’re on vacation. Molly was extra cranky, though. She misses being spoiled by the kids,” Jessie said. She made a few more comments about the ranch, her attention split between the rodeo on TV and Payson. He sat beside her, propping his feet on the coffee table to make a place on his lap for the thick sandwich resting on a paper towel. She wiggled on the couch to get the numbing cold in just the right spot.
“Do you need more ice?” Payson asked, reaching over to help her adjust the packet.
His warm hand sharply contrasted with the ice. She’d felt the light caress of his fingers just before his whole arm jerked away from her. “I’m good,” she said, her voice tight, her skin sensitive.
“I can come out tomorrow and help,” he said, picking up the sandwich and immediately putting it down. “After rounds, I’m free for the rest of the day. It would get me out of cleaning up around here.”
Safe topic. Good. “You think cleaning out stalls would be better than running a vacuum?”
“I really hate to vacuum,” Payson said with a nearly natural grin.
“No, you don’t,” she said and without thinking added, “I remember how you wanted all of the tracks in the carpet to go the same way. It took you forever to do a room.”
“What can I say? I’m a detail man.”
Which were the exact words he used when they made love and she thought he was going too slow. Heat flushed through her, pooling between her thighs. This was why she’d been in her room. Being together led to all kinds of innocent remarks and glances turning her into a hot and bothered cowgirl. She couldn’t let anything like this morning happen again.
“I’m really beat,” Jessie said abruptly, not looking at him. “I’d better get to bed.”
“It’s early,” Payson said.
“You know us ranchers—up at the crack of dawn.” She headed down the hall before he could say anything else. She turned on the small TV in the spare room, keeping the volume low. When she could no longer hear him moving around, she scurried to the hall bathroom for a quick shower. She needed to relax and wash away the memory of his touch.
Cleaned up, she lay down on the futon, listening to the hum of cars on the highway and the blare of a truck horn. She forced her eyes to close and immediately relived the morning on the floor with Payson. Memories from their marriage followed. Ones that, until the danged bank had kicked her out of her house, she had been doing a good job of forgetting. She turned onto her side facing the door. Had that been the creak of Payson’s bed? Was he as restless as she was? Maybe none of this got to him. Except he’d pulled away from her on the couch as though he’d touched a hot pan. But, then again, she didn’t know this Payson. She knew the old one. She had to remember that.
* * *
JESSIE AVOIDED PAYSON on Sunday morning by leaving for the ranch very early. Lavonda came by again to help, and, more importantly, she brought coffee and bagels slathered with
cream cheese. Payson, of course, didn’t show up later, and Jessie didn’t care why. She reminded herself that he was in it for the title and cleaning stalls wouldn’t get him there. On Monday morning, Jessie quietly left before sunrise. She told herself on the drive to the ranch that she’d get the chores done quickly, then she’d sit down in her office and start making calls to get financial help and find out when the hospital staff would be back. No one would fight as hard for Hope’s Ride as she would. Spence could keep doing his legal thing, but she wouldn’t leave the fate of her program in anyone else’s hands.
With her course set, she got to cleaning the stalls. The usual sense of accomplishment from tidying up the barn and working with the horses lasted through the first three calls she made, including the one to the department head at the hospital, who told her that the stipend and the visits from staff were on hold. Stubbornness kept her on the phone. After the fifth please-call-back-later, Jessie wanted to throw the phone across the room. Instead, she forced herself to stroll outside and sit on one of the benches her brother had built. She closed her eyes and breathed in the dusty desert and slightly acrid scent of the manure pile. When Lavonda’s cheery red Mini Cooper pulled up, Jessie decided her arrival was a good thing. Chatting with her sister would be a good distraction.
Jessie called, “All done this morning. Sorry you drove all the way out here.”
“Oh.” Lavonda sounded disappointed. “I knew I was late...can I come back and help this evening?”
“I’ve got it handled. You’ve already done so much.”
Her sister frowned. “I want to, and I’ve barely done anything. You didn’t even ask me for a place to stay.” Lavonda paused and worked on a smile. “If you don’t need me for the barn work today, at least let me help with the other stuff. You know, looking for donors, doing PR.”
Jessie opened her mouth to protest but noticed how tense her sister’s shoulders were. And Lavonda’s eyes were suspiciously bright. Something was going on. Slowly, she said, “If you have the time to help with fund-raising, I won’t say no. You know how crappy I am at asking for any kind of help.”