“Now, you understand the working lately?”
“I am beyond speechless, I can’t believe on my hand is an engagement ring!”
Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that we would get engaged today. It’s always been a dream to get engaged on Christmas. Christmas is truly my favorite holiday, as I am sure it is most people’s, but to get a ring on Christmas is a dream I never thought I would see come true. I couldn’t wait to show everyone, to tell everyone! I wonder if he told anyone already that he got it. As it turns out, my mom knew about it, but my dad’s reaction did not seem to be part of my dream. I could tell he wasn’t happy and didn’t say a word.
We leave my house and went to Danny’s. His family seemed much more accepting of our engagement and he tells me that he’d shown his parents the ring this morning, so they already knew. They were truly happy for us and we enjoy the rest of the evening with his family.
It is so hard to sleep when all I want to do was stare at my ring. I feel afraid if I went to sleep I would wake up and find out that it was dream. That this isn’t real and there isn’t a diamond ring on my finger given to me by Danny the man I’ve lost most of my young life. In my life, dreams don’t come true like this and I knew it wouldn’t be long before my world would once again come crashing down on me.
“I found a joint on the couch last night where Danny was sitting!” my father says angrily the next day.
“What are you talking about?!”
“He is still doing drugs, when are you going to wake up and see the real picture here?”
“I don’t believe you! There is no way that he is doing drugs, he wouldn’t because then he wouldn’t be able to see his kids and I know he wouldn’t do that!”
“You believe what you want, but I know what I found.”
I ran out of the house crying and went to Danny’s.
“You know it’s not mine!”
“I do!”
He went to my house to talk to my dad. I don’t know what happened or what was said all I know is that it seems everything will be all right. At this point, I truly didn’t care! I want to enjoy being engaged and nothing would ruin this for me!
Danny heard from his attorney and apparently, she agrees to the divorce papers that his lawyer sent. They have a few details to work out but very soon, they would be ready to be signed and sent to the courts. We went out to dinner to celebrate the news and our engagement. All I want to do is stare at my ring. He tells me tonight that now this is a reality and we spent the night talking about our future together.
I call Liz and ask her to be my maid of honor, she sounds so happy for me. She of course, agreed to be.
December 31st
He came to my door to pick me up for the dance we were going to tonight with a dozen roses in his hand. We slow dance, we have the time of our lives. They even announce our engagement at the dance. I thought my dad would explode, but he didn’t. The year ended and the New Year began perfectly. Something I don’t see often in my life. It seems magical and I want the magic to last forever. I know that the road ahead would continue to not be easy. I fully realize more than anyone that the things we want most in life are often the hardest to get, yet in that moment I knew that in the end, it would all be worth it. I know that there will be more tears, I know that there will be laughter and every dream I have ever dreamed would someday… someway, come true. At this moment in time, I believed all this to be true.
Chapter Seventeen
January 1991
New Years has never been a favorite time for me. Most years, something bad usually happens and ruins it. This year, I so wanted to believe it would be good and yet somehow, I knew it wasn’t just me feeling this way. I did worry a lot but I’d been better lately and knew my life would get better.
Danny calls me tonight and just hearing his voice, when he says hello tells me that it isn’t going to be anything I want to hear.
“My lawyer called me today and she won’t accept the $200 a week now.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“I wish I was, I don’t know what to do now?”
“What do you mean you don’t know what to do?”
“Maybe I should let the lawyers fight it out in court, instead of trying to do it this way, maybe he can get it lower.”
I want to scream! I want to run! All I think of is more delays and we are never going to get married. I know that the right thing is to let his lawyer fight this. The lower it is will only be better for us, but it’s just so hard waiting.
At home, my dad is walking around with a long face again.
“Mom, what is his problem now? There is just so much going on and just when I think dad is okay with it, something happens and he isn’t.”
“Norman told me that he is upset about you announcing your engagement New Year’s.”
“I don’t know what the big deal is. I have a right to be happy and to tell people.”
“I know, but you know how your dad is, just ignore it. He knows that he won’t win this fight.”
Everywhere I turn is a fight or trouble. I just want to fast forward and be married, have children and finally have true happiness that lasts. Is that too much to ask for?
Danny didn’t call me the next day and when he finally did, he told me that he plans to go to the court and file a petition. He has a court date of February 14th of all dates! There’s nothing I can say. Valentine’s for divorce proceeding. It figures.
I came down with the flu and had to stay away from Danny for a couple of days so he wouldn’t catch it. He needed to work and couldn’t lose the hours having the flu. It seemed so hard not seeing him and wondering what he was doing. I couldn’t help but be paranoid. I want to be able to start making wedding plans and I can’t until we know when the papers will be signed.
Danny has been calling me less and less lately and I am beginning to really worry. Leslie calls and she wants us to go out with her and William to a comedy club. I tell Danny and surprisingly, he agrees to go. It has been way too long since we have hung out with friends and gotten to actually have a good time together.
“I can’t wait to see your ring!” Leslie says.
“I know I can’t wait to show you, it’s been so long since we have gotten together! How are things going with you and William?”
“Things are good, and soon you will be married too!”
“If she ever signs the damn papers! I am so worried that we won’t ever get married. Between the courts and the issues with my dad, I don’t know how much more I can take.”
“I can’t even imagine! I can’t believe your dad is giving you such a hard time, but I know he is just worried about you.”
“I know…. I don’t want him mad at me, I love him, but I love Danny and this is what I want and it’s not like I am a little kid. I just wish we could all be happy.”
“It will happen, I know it will. I can see how much you and Danny are in love and you have known each other so long. Just have to find a way to be patient.”
“I am trying. Some days though, it just gets overwhelming.”
“I know. What time are you guys coming over?”
“How does seven sound?”
“Sounds like a plan! I will see you later and hopefully, we can find a way to talk more or you call me tomorrow.”
“Okay see you later! Bye.”
On the ride to Leslie and William’s I ask Danny what is going on. I feel like I need to clear the air a bit. I didn’t feel that we were as close as we were and were drifting apart. He tells me that he thinks that my dad will try to ruin our lives when we get married. This broke my heart. I worry too, but I know my mom wouldn’t sit back and watch that happen either. He would not only lose me, he would lose her, and he wouldn’t let that happen.
I’m being selfish, as I want it all. I want my dad to accept Danny again, like he used to.
We have a great time at the Brokerage Pub. It feels so good to be out with friends and just laugh all night. Les
lie seems to be doing better with her marriage and I try to make a note to talk to her about it tomorrow.
Danny and I didn’t even have a drink, we just have soda. I don’t want him to risk starting a new problem with all the stuff going on already. Leslie and William say that we all need to start hanging out more regularly now that the holidays are over. I can’t believe how long it has been since we actually went out and had a life.
Of course with every happiness comes a new problem... Danny shows up at my door.
“I had a fight with my dad and he fired me, also told me I need to find somewhere else to live.”
“Are you serious? What did you fight about?”
“I don’t want to talk about it. I am staying at a hotel for now, but need to find an apartment right away.”
“Okay, I will make some calls and see if we can find some to look at.”
“It has to be a studio, something cheap.”
My heart broke for him. With court two weeks away, I can’t believe that his dad would do this and he won’t tell me what happened. It took a couple of days of looking at dumps but we found a really nice place that is furnished and the landlords were really nice. They let him move in right away, so we went and got some of his stuff from his house. Then we went food shopping to get some stuff to start with. It’s so nice being there. Having a place all to ourselves and dream of what it would be like when we were finally married.
When I went home, I decide that I need to clear the air with my dad. All this stress is getting to everyone and I need things to be calm.
“Dad, Danny just got an apartment today. I need you to please stop trying to break us up. I want the time I am here to be happy. Once he is divorced, we are going to get married and I don’t want whatever time we have left under the same roof to be miserable.”
“I will try.”
“Please, for all our sakes. I know you’re worried about me and don’t want to see me get hurt. It’s what parents do. I need you to trust me. If I get hurt, I have only myself to blame.”
“I will never turn my back on you. I just have seen how he shattered you and I don’t want to ever see that again.”
“I know, trust me I will never forget the past, but I also love him like I have loved no other. I want this Dad, just please let’s all be happy and get along.”
“I will try hard I promise. I don’t want to lose you.”
“I don’t want to have to choose. I love you dad.”
“I love you too.”
It feels so nice to have cleared the air and I feel really good about everything for the first time in a long time.
The next day, Danny calls and tells me that his dad is going to give him his job back. Things are finally all going good. I hate to say the words aloud, “Everything is all right,” because in my world that never lasts.
We spend a lot of time fixing up the apartment and dreaming of when we would have a place of our own. Debbie has a lot of stuff at her house that she gave me for Danny’s house and for the girls so they would have some stuff when they came over. She is so good to me!
My mom tells me that my dad is taking out a home equity loan and that he is going to take extra for my wedding! Things are finally all falling into place, now if only court goes good on the 14th and we can actually start making plans, my life would be perfect. She also tells me that my dad intended to invite Danny to a hockey game with him. They have season tickets for the New York Islanders. My parents go most of the time, but there are games when my mom and I go, or my dad and I, or he lets me have the tickets and I can bring someone. It feels nice to hear that he actually thought to take Danny to a game with him. It’s a start.
Start. Seems I’ve waited for the start forever. I knew if I just held on. Kept going, I could have the life we were denied before. The life together, that I was robbed of.
Chapter Eighteen
February 14th
The day is finally here. I sit and stare at the phone waiting for Danny to call me and tell me what happened in court today. When the phone finally rings, I honestly feel afraid to answer it. Things have been so good lately, I just want to hear good news. Silly me!
“It was postponed until April 18th. I will meet you at the apartment in about an hour okay?”
I could hear the disappointment in his voice. He’d been a nervous wreck last night and all for nothing yet again. I didn’t want to make him feel worse but inside, I feel like I’m dying. “Okay, I will be there.”
I bought him some nice presents and looked forward to this Valentine’s Day. I couldn’t let this ruin our night. Somehow, I would put this out of my mind and find a way to put on a happy face, hide my tears and enjoy our night.
He cooks me chicken cutlet parmesan for dinner and gives me a dozen roses. Danny did the same as I. He went on with trying to make me feel better as I tried for him. I finally did feel we were in it together, no matter how bad it got. Waiting is torture, but at least we still have a chance. I clung to this thought.
We cuddle on the couch and watch television like an old couple who’d been together forever. It soothes me and seems to do the same for him. This is what we needed to just stop and be together. Supporting each other, producing happiness instead of waiting for it to be handed to us. We had a really nice evening despite the delay in our future.
Chapter Nineteen
A few days later and just for fun, my mom and I went out to look at wedding dresses. Just wanting to get an idea and have some fun trying some on. Never in my dreams, did I expect to find the most perfect dress and on sale at the best price. I wound up getting the dress. I also found what I believe to be the bridesmaid’s dresses. I have asked all the girls that are going to be in and I asked Danny’s sister as well. When the time comes, at least I will be ahead of it all and everyone has time to save up. Mom and I didn’t tell anyone about the dress yet.
My dad calls Danny and invites him to go to a hockey game with him. I fee; so happy! It’s the first step toward things getting better between us all.
Mom and I watch the game on television and off they went. I act so nervous the whole night wondering what they would talk about and if it is awkward. After all, the tension between them has been high for a while. My dad accepting him would make the difference. He took a while to come around. I just hope it all went well.
After the game, Danny came in for a little while and says that it went good. Danny then tells me that he is going to talk to Wanda one more time and try to settle out of court. If she agrees, then he will have the papers drawn up and we won’t have to wait until April 18th.
I don’t want to get my hopes up again to be crushed, but I hope and pray that she agrees.
Two days later, Danny calls me at work and sys that he talked to her and they came up with an agreement. They were having papers drawn up, cancelling April 18th and if all goes smoothly, we should have signed papers by April 15th! I want to be happy and excited, and start really planning and Danny told me I should start calling halls and maybe we find a date September or October, but deep inside I still worry. Somehow, something always gets in our way and doesn’t go the way that we expect it to go.
I spend the next day calling places. I know my dad isn’t going to be able to give me that much money, so I keep calling VFW’s and American Legions. The ones I call most of them say that I would have to do the set up and clean up. There is no way that I want to have to do that and so I hope that I can find a place where I don’t.
Wanda calls and tells Danny that she is still going to sign, but that there is one thing she wants changed and asks him to come over to discuss it. I am scared to death! I have no idea what she could want changed and if it’s something major, then this whole thing is going to blow up and everything will once again be put on hold.
Danny calls me as soon as he got back from meeting with her. She is back to wanting the $250 a week and eventually, he got her to agree to the $200 and everything is still on to have the papers drawn up, but her lawyer is
away for a week… of course.
We found the hall that we are going to use and we tentatively book it for November 9th. That should be plenty of time for everything to be settled. The manager is a really nice man who says we could wait a week to give the deposit, just so we can be sure that the papers are really signed and submitted. The last thing we want to happen is to have a hall and everything booked and him still be married.
Things explode at home. Apparently, my dad has been putting on a good front and is still really angry about this situation. My mom went with him to his psychiatrist and my dad tells the doctor that he believes that my mom and I wish that he were dead. My mom now wants to leave him and I’m so upset I don’t know what to do. My mom and I sit and try to talk to him tonight and his friend Norman came over to help also. After hours of all of us talking, we think that we have things calmed back down.
The next morning my dad asks me to sit down and talk to him. “I might be able to find you a hall at a better price.”
“Really?” I want to just cry. This is the first time that he actually is looking to be a part of this and help.
“Yes, I am going to see my friend tonight but I wanted to see if you were interested in this place or if you wanted to just stick with the American Legion your mom says saw.”
“No, if you can get this other place I would love it, thank you!” I walk over and give him a big hug.
“Let’s make some calls, maybe we can find a good DJ or band.”
“That would be great!”
We spend the next couple of hours calling some places and make a list. Once we know 100% about the papers, we can call them back and book them.
His friend wasn’t able to get that good a price so we are going to just stick with the first place we found, but I feel so happy that he is trying to help.
Chapter Twenty
March 17th
Fate (Forever & Always Book 2) Page 7