by A. M. Myers
“You and Tate are staying at the clubhouse right now?”
“Yes,” he answers and my mind races as I watch cars race past me. What the hell is going on with all of them that they are staying at the clubhouse to keep everyone safe? “Look, Row… I’ll explain everything once you’re down here.”
“Why didn’t you tell me any of this before I left Alaska? I mean, maybe I was safer up there.” Not that I have a burning desire to be back in Ketchikan but now I’m worried that I left one shitty situation for one that is even worse.
“I’m not going to let anything happen to you and with you in Baton Rouge, I can make sure of that. Besides, not to be a dick, but what did you have up there now that Mom’s gone?”
He’s right but there is no way in hell I’m going to admit that. “Fuck you, Linc.”
“You can be pissed at me all you want, about that comment and the fact that I kept this from you, as long as you’re safe. Plus, I think this will be good for you. I don’t want you to be alone.”
“Shut up. I’m already almost there so you don’t need to keep campaigning. I’ll be in Baton Rouge tomorrow and that will be that.”
He sighs again and I roll my eyes. Goddamn it, I hate how smug he gets when he knows he’s right. “Good. I’ll text you the address for the clubhouse and we’ll see you tomorrow.”
I give in and after conceding to his demands to keep him updated during my drive tomorrow, I hang up and head into the restaurant to get something to eat. They are fairly busy so while I wait for my food, I tuck myself into a quiet corner and just people watch. My phone buzzes and my stomach flips when a text from Ash pops up on the screen.
Ash:
Hey. Where you at?
I haven’t spoken to him since the night I found him in bed with Holly and I guess I had naively hoped he already knew it was over but that doesn’t seem to be the case. I dismiss the notification as the man behind the counter calls out my number so I shove my phone in my pocket and grab my food before slipping back outside. There is a decent looking park with a cute little pond across the street from the motel so I walk over there before sitting down at a picnic table on the water’s edge. Millions of stars dot the sky above me, shining in the surface of the pond as a duck glides across the surface and I shake my head. Back in Alaska, it’s probably so damn cold that even walking to your car is miserable but here in Texas, it’s perfectly cool as I pull my food out of the bag and dig in. I’m halfway through my burger when another text comes in from Ash and I ignore it without even looking at it as I continue eating. He has to have noticed that all my clothes are gone, right? Then again, maybe he hasn’t. I really didn’t take much else. All the furniture in the apartment is stuff we picked out together and I had no interest in taking it with me so he might still be oblivious. The only things I took, the only things I truly cared about, were mementos and photos that were already packed away in a closet.
When I finish the burger, I throw the wrapper back in the bag and munch on fries as I look out over the park. Even though it’s essentially surrounded by the city of Lubbock, there is a peacefulness to it, almost like an oasis, that makes you forget for a second that you’re surrounded by buildings and traffic. It’s one of the things I was most worried about with this move. My favorite part about living in Alaska was being outside in nature and it is one of the things I am going to miss the most in Baton Rouge. I just hope I can find little places like this to keep me sane.
My phone vibrates again and I roll my eyes as I toss the rest of my fries in the bag and wipe my fingers on my jeans. Scooping up my phone, I open the text from Ash and roll my eyes.
Ash:
Please come home so we can talk, baby.
I stare at the message for a moment before deciding that I just need to be brutally honest with him. I hoped that after finding him in bed with my co-worker, he would realize that this isn’t working but that doesn’t seem to be the case. He’s clearly not catching on that this is over and I don’t want to drag this out anymore.
Me:
There is nothing to talk about, Ash.
I found you in bed with someone else and
I’m done. We’re done.
I press send and as soon as I go to set my phone down, it starts ringing. Ash’s photo pops up on the screen and I roll my eyes as I accept the call.
“Where are you?” he demands as soon as I answer. “I’ll come to you and we’ll work this out.”
I shake my head. “No, we won’t, Ash.”
“Rowan,” he pleads, desperation lacing his voice. “You can’t just throw the last three years away, baby.”
“Do you remember hearing that crash the moment you stuck your dick inside Holly? That was you throwing it all away, not me.”
He makes a noise that sounds suspiciously like a whimper and I fight back a flash of disgust. “I made a mistake, baby. That’s all it was, a stupid mistake and I want to make it up to you.”
“That’s not going to happen.”
“Please, Rowan,” he pleads and I can picture him pacing back and forth in the apartment, raking a hand through his blond hair. “Just tell me where you are, okay? I’ll come meet you and we can really talk. I will do whatever it takes to fix this.”
I shake my head and sigh. “Let me ask you something, Ash… was that day the first time you fucked Holly?”
His silence is answer enough and I nod to myself, feeling strangely proud that I was right. Ever since finding him with Holly, I’ve been looking at our relationship with a magnifying glass because there were other times that I caught him in a lie and gave him the benefit of the doubt instead of searching for more answers. Like an idiot.
“And was Holly the first girl you ever cheated on me with?”
“Rowan…”
I shake my head. “No, I’ve heard enough. We’re done, Ash, and there is nothing else to say. Don’t call me again.”
I hang up as he protests loudly on the other end of the line but I don’t care what he has to say. My phone starts ringing again almost immediately but I reject the call before turning back to look out at the water, feeling confident in my decision. He may have gotten away with lying to me for a long time but now that I know, there is no way in hell I would ever take him back.
My phone rings again and I roll my eyes. Part of me just wants to chuck the thing in the pond and be done with it but Lincoln would lose his shit if he couldn’t contact me during the final leg of my journey tomorrow so instead, I turn my phone off and stand up to head back to my motel for the night. Knowing that our whole relationship was just one big lie, that I wasted three years of my life on a man who didn’t deserve me, hurts but I also have this feeling that I’m moving on to bigger and better things without him.
Chapter Four
Rowan
The last little bit of daylight streaks across the sky as I pull into the clubhouse parking lot and I breathe a sigh of relief, happy to finally be done driving. I swear, I need some food and then I need to just be a vegetable for a while after the day that I’ve had. The drive was actually pretty nice and traffic was tolerable but I spent my entire day dodging call after call from Ash and I am quickly approaching my breaking point. The first call came in around eight this morning, right as I was leaving the hotel and they’ve been nonstop since then. Honestly, at this point, I am tempted to answer the next one to tell him to go fuck himself. When I left Alaska, I told myself that if he ever reached out, I would be civil with him but he’s crossing the line into harassment now and I’m fed up.
I pull into a parking spot near the door and sigh as I lean back in my seat and turn the car off. Closing my eyes and rubbing my temples, I start to feel my stress drain away and just when I think I might be able to finally relax, my phone starts ringing and I let out a shriek of frustration, resisting the urge to start punching my steering wheel. The thought of answering it and telling him off flickers through my mind but instead, I silence it before grabbing the keys from the ignition and climbing o
ut of the car.
“There she is!” Lincoln hollers and I turn as he jogs out of the clubhouse with Tate hot on his heels. She flashes me a smile and when Lincoln reaches me, he wraps his arms around me and lifts me off of the ground in a bear hug. His familiar scent washes over me and something inside me breaks. I fight back tears as relief and pain wash through me simultaneously. I’m finally in a place where I feel safe enough to let myself feel everything that has happened during the past month. There is no way in hell I want to cry in front of them but leave it to my big brother to turn me into a total baby.
“I missed you,” I whisper and he nods, squeezing me a little tighter before setting me back on my feet.
“Ditto.”
Tate joins us as Lincoln releases me and she wraps me up in another hug before pulling away just enough to drape her arm over my shoulders and drag me into her side. “Glad you’re finally here. Maybe now he’ll take a goddamn chill pill.”
“Doubtful,” I shoot back and our eyes meet before we both start laughing as Lincoln glares down at us, shaking his head.
“I should have known y’all would gang up on me.”
“Oh, you poor thing,” I say with a smirk, nudging his shoulder. “And y’all? When did you start talking like that?”
He shoots me a look I know all too well, a look that is supposed to be a warning but it’s never really worked on me. “Don’t start.”
“So, where is all your stuff?” Tate asks, peeking in the back seat and eyeing my lonely duffel bag. I point to it and shrug.
“It’s just that and a few small boxes in the trunk.”
Lincoln scowls, inspecting the back seat as he crosses his arms over his chest. For some reason, it reminds me of Dad and I smile through the ache in my chest. “That’s all you brought? Where is all your stuff?”
“I took the important stuff,” I answer with a shrug, thinking back to the hour it took me to pack everything that meant anything to me and all the crap that I left behind. “The rest of it was just… stuff.”
“I see,” he murmurs, looking unconvinced and more worried by the second. “And your boyfriend? What’s the story with him?”
Tate watches me for a second before she laughs and playfully smacks my brother’s arm. “Jesus, Lincoln. Give the girl a second to breathe. Why don’t you take her stuff inside and y’all can catch up later? Besides, she’s got a party to get to.”
“Party?” I ask, my stomach clenching as I try to hide the disappointment from my face. The very last thing I want to do right now is be thrown in the middle of a bunch of strangers. Tate squeezes my shoulder.
“Yeah, just a little get-together with the club.”
I shake my head and press my lips together as I glance over at her. “Can I not? I really just want to get something to eat and crash. It’s been a long day.”
“Why?” Lincoln snaps, his entire body tensing as his gaze darts around the parking lot. “What happened?”
“For fucks sake, baby!” Tate exclaims, rolling her eyes. “She’s been driving all damn day, that’s all. Simmer the fuck down, you Neanderthal.”
“Woman, don’t test me,” he growls, leveling a glare at her but she isn’t even the least bit fazed. She releases me and stands a little taller as she meets his gaze, ready to throw down. I watch in fascination as they bicker with each other for a few seconds before my brother finally concedes and yanks the first box out of the trunk. As soon as he’s gone, Tate turns to me and rolls her eyes again.
“I swear, that man has been giving himself ulcers over worrying about you.”
I watch where he disappeared into the clubhouse, confused. “Yeah… he’s always been protective but this is…”
“It’s all this shit with the club, babe. Everyone is pretty high strung right now… which is why we all need this party to relax… before someone kills someone.”
I scoff, my mind racing with questions as I grab my bag out of the back seat and sling the strap over my shoulder. “Oh, I see. Guilt tripping me into my own welcome party, are we?”
“I do what I have to,” she answers with a shrug. “Now, before your brother comes back, I saw that look on your face when Linc mentioned your boyfriend. What’s going on there? Are you okay?”
Anger flares through me as I remember walking into the apartment a week ago to find him and Holly together. “I got off work early and walked in on him banging my co-worker in my bed but other than that, I am just fine.”
“Oh, shit,” she whispers, staring at me with wide eyes before nodding. “You’re better off without that ass wipe, babe, but probably best not to mention that to your brother, yeah? He would hop on a plane, like, right now.”
“Who is getting on a plane?” Lincoln asks, walking up to us. Tate turns to him and flashes him a wide smile that looks fucking suspicious.
“No one.”
He eyes her warily as he grabs another box out of the trunk. “Mmhmm.”
“Come on, Rowan,” she says, turning toward the clubhouse and starting back toward the door. “I’ll introduce you to everyone. They’re all excited to meet you.”
“You don’t have to stay long if you’re really that tired,” Lincoln whispers when she gets far enough away that she can’t hear him and I nod before following her, my belly flipping. I’ve spent years taking my clothes off in front of a bunch of strangers but for some reason, walking into this clubhouse and meeting all of these people is damn near giving me palpitations. Tate waits by the door for me and when I reach her, she ushers me inside. It feels like every gaze in the room turns to look at us before Tate yells at all of them to mind their own damn business and leads me over to a group of women.
“Everyone, this is Lincoln’s sister, Rowan. Rowan, this is Ali, Storm’s wife,” she says, pointing to a gorgeous woman with long blonde hair next to me and I smile.
“It’s nice to meet you.”
She flashes me a grin. “You, too, sweetie.”
“And this is Carly, Chance’s wife, Kady, Henn’s wife, and Juliette, Moose’s wife,” she says, pointing to the next three women in line who all smile and nod in greeting. “And finally we have Quinn and Piper, Smith’s wife and Fuzz’s fiancée.”
“And ex-wife,” Carly quips and the other girls laugh as I look on, confused. Am I back in high school? Because it sure as hell feels like I’ve been transported back six years and I’m the one on the outside again. Tate pats my shoulder.
“I’ll explain that one later,” she whispers and I nod before turning back to the other women, forcing a smile to my face. As much as I would love to find my room and hide in there for the rest of the night, these people are important to my brother and I need to make an effort.
“Hi,” I say, waving to all of them as my belly flips again. It’s intimidating as hell to have everyone’s attention on me and I honestly can’t remember the last time I had a real friend to hang out with but maybe I could here. My mind drifts back to how nervous I was to make this move but the further away I get from Alaska, the more I’m reassured that I made the right choice.
“I know you don’t really know any of us yet,” Ali says. “But I promise, you’re going to fit right in.”
“We’re really just a big, rowdy family,” Kady adds and I smile through the ache in my chest as I think about the family I’ve already lost and how alone I’ve felt these past four weeks. Lincoln walks into the room and I glance over at him as he carries the urn of Mom’s ashes in his arms down a hallway in the back where I assume is my room as my chest aches. It would be so easy to lose myself in the pain of her loss but I can’t go down that rabbit hole right now. I push the thoughts away before scanning the rest of the room.
It’s fairly large with a bar at one end and several pool tables at the other. There are several round tables scattered in the middle of the room and a couple of couches against the back wall. It’s actually a pretty comfortable space which is the opposite of what I was expecting but after meeting the girls, it fits. As my gaze sweep
s past the bar again, I notice one of the guys off by himself, drinking, and when he looks up and our eyes meet, my belly does a flip for a whole other reason. Even all the way across the room, I can see that he is easily the hottest man I’ve ever laid eyes on and a tingle races across my skin. He turns toward me, so subtly that if I hadn’t been staring at him, I would have missed it and he cocks his head to the side. I’m unable to pull my gaze away for a few heavy seconds but when I finally do, I swear I can still feel his gaze burning into me.
Jesus Christ.
“Tatum, are you going to introduce the rest of us?” an older man asks as he approaches us. He is a big guy and with his medium length gray hair and the beard covering half of his weathered face, I get the feeling that people might feel intimidated by him at first but there is something about his clear blue eyes, shining with kindness and humor, that instantly puts me at ease.
“I don’t know…” Tate muses, cocking her head to the side as she shoots him a look full of attitude. “Y’all are not exactly house trained and I don’t want to overwhelm the poor girl.”
He smirks, shaking his head as he turns his gaze to me. “Something tells me she can take care of herself.”
“Well, if she can’t now, I’ll get her set up in no time.”
“Dear God,” he whispers, shaking his head in mock horror. “Please don’t. The last thing I need is another taser wielding woman running around my club.”
I laugh, remembering the phone call with Lincoln where he informed me of Tate’s fondness for tasers. She shoots him a grin.
“You forgot about my gun.”
“Oh, I haven’t forgotten. In fact, I specifically remember you promising to not pull it on anymore of my boys,” he says and she shrugs.
“I would say it was more of something I would take into consideration before I pulled a gun on any more members.”