by Cassie Rocca
“You know what I mean. Take two girls: the first is nice, clever and with an adorable personality, but a little overweight; the second girl has all the good qualities of the first one, plus a perfect body. We both know very well that men would notice the second girl first.”
“You don’t say,” replied Liberty sarcastically.
“This example is the proof that I am right: a well presented dish will be more appealing to the consumer than a more minimalistic one, even if the ingredients are the same.”
“Not necessarily, if you add too many ingredients, that dish will only be more fattening. The only difference between the two dishes will be that the first one will be less healthy, especially if you’re a woman with weight problems. Moreover, if that woman stopped having a perfect body because she’d eaten too many well presented dishes, would men be able to survive their loss?” Liberty replied while handing the bowl of half eaten fruit salad back to him.
He refused to take the bowl, though. “Eat, Libby,” he ordered with an angelic expression on his face.
Looking annoyed, she did as he said, but she wasn’t really enjoying it at all.
Gently, Zack’s fingers brushed against her messy hair. “Are you really so worried about eating because you’re afraid of gaining weight?”
She gave him a nasty look. “It took me a long time and a lot of hard work to get the way I am now, and I really don’t want to throw away all my sacrifices.”
“I think that you might actually have gone over the top with the sacrifices – and I’m not just talking about your body.” Zack took the empty bowl from her, put it on the little table in front of the sofa and then took her cold hands in his and looked into her eyes. “Don’t take that the wrong way – you are very beautiful. The only flaw I could point out is that you’re probably too thin. A couple more pounds would make your body more… harmonious.”
Liberty’s cheeks turned an adorable pink. “Do you really think I’m going to let you try and fatten me up just so that my body’s more appealing to you!”
“It’s pretty funny to try and imagine you as a recipe to prepare, though,” he said thoughtfully, clearly entertained by the idea. “I’m sure that if I thought about it, I could turn you into the perfect dish!” He tried to imagine what kind of cake Liberty would be… probably something that was crunchy outside but very soft inside. She could be a sponge cake soaked in coffee liqueur and covered with dark chocolate and crumbled nuts with a heart of pistachio cream. It would be a dessert to enjoy slowly, full of intense flavours and not too sweet.
He wasn’t sure if the urge he was feeling right at that moment was caused by the desire to taste a cake like that or the woman in front of him, though… or maybe he needed to get to know every last detail about her before attempting to reproduce her in cake form.
Liberty sensed what he was thinking, pulled away the hand that he was still holding and glared at him.
“Stop looking at me as if I was one of your dishes.”
“You’re right, I’m sorry,” he replied, before continuing, “You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself, though. I agree that it’s important to keep your body healthy and beautiful, but you don’t need to give up tasty food for that.” He pointed at the dark rings under her eyes, his finger almost touching them. “You’re tired and run down. You’re obviously not getting all the vitamins and nutrients you need, and your tongue deserves some more cheerful food too! Did you know that enjoying a meal can help you relieve your stress and anxiety and increase your energy levels? The pleasure you feel when you eat something you like can actually improve your life.” He stood up and kissed her on the forehead. “You used to be overweight, you’re right, but you definitely seemed happier back then. Spending time with you was fun, and that’s what I meant yesterday when I said that you’re not any better now than you were fifteen years ago.”
Liberty crossed her arms over her chest and raised her chin proudly. “I prefer being less fun to be around to being bullied or ignored because of my looks all the time.”
“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I used to like you the way you were back then,” he replied.
Liberty looked at him skeptically and, before he could reach the door said. “It’s easy saying that now that I’m not an overweight, ridiculous little girl anymore.”
Zack turned to look at her, his face serious. “It’s easier now because I know I can’t hurt you.” She looked confused, so he continued. “Yesterday you said that you’d never had a crush on me, and I’m going to take you at your word on that. Back then, though, I thought you did have a thing for me and I didn’t want to show any interest because I just wasn’t ready for anything serious. If I’d told you that I liked you, I was sure I would have hurt your feelings.”
Liberty laughed bitterly. “So what you’re saying is that you thought that I had a crush on you and you liked me too, but you never told me because you were scared of breaking my heart. It doesn’t make much sense, does it?”
“It made a lot of sense to me,” Zack replied, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest. “When I was seventeen I wasn’t really that interested in girls. I used to like them, I’d even had a couple of girlfriends already, but I used to get bored pretty quick, and anyway – I had other priorities. The only thing I was really committed to was becoming a great chef, nothing else. I did like spending time with you, though, even if you didn’t look like a model.”
“Well, you never told me anything about it.”
“I would have thought it was obvious, since I preferred spending time with you in a kitchen and not with all the girls who were constantly trying to hit on me at school.” He saw her shaking her head, as she still didn’t believe him, and continued. “There were a lot of reasons why I didn’t think it was a good idea to make it any clearer than that. First of all, my friends would have bullied you even more, and they wouldn’t have given me a break either. We both had already been through all that. You, on the other hand, were so romantic… You were always reading and writing love stories… I didn’t want you to get any ideas about me. The problem wasn’t your weight, Lib – it was me: I just didn’t want to get into a serious relationship back then, not with anyone. I loved your company and really cared about you… I didn’t see you as an ‘overweight, ridiculous little girl’ at all.”
“In that case, you’ll be happy to know that you did a great job of hiding even the slightest interest in me. You were great at not saying anything at all to your friends when they bullied me and at talking to me only when we were alone… And your plan of making me get even fatter worked perfectly too – you were a genius at stuffing me with food like I was a little pig. Congratulations, I genuinely thought you didn’t give a damn about me!”
His face showed his irritation at her accusations. “I didn’t even defend myself when people said I was gay, because that’s what I do when I think something is stupid: I ignore it. And I didn’t make you eat like a pig either! You were always more than happy to taste my dishes, or at least that’s what I thought. You should have told me, if you didn’t want to.”
“I never told you that I didn’t want to eat or that I was on a diet because I was afraid you wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore, and I was so happy that at least someone seemed to like my company for once…”
“Well, you were wrong, I wouldn’t have stopped being your friend.”
“Are you sure about that?” snorted Liberty. “You actually told me just yesterday that I am less interesting than I used to be because I didn’t want to eat the food you prepared!”
Zack opened his mouth to reply, but then closed it again.
He thought about what she’d just said and had to admit to himself that although he wouldn’t have stopped being her friend, he would definitely have been deeply disappointed if she had refused to sample his dishes back then. He remembered how important her opinion on his food was and how he needed someone to share his passion with. Back then, the way she used
to look at the things he prepared with joyful and hungry eyes was the most gratifying thing for him. When he had met her again, his first instinct had been to show her all the work he’d done and what he’d become, in the hope of obtaining her approval.
“I’m sorry,” he said, “I guess I just gave you the wrong impression. The truth is that your opinion has always been very important to me, and I would love to hear your comments now too.”
Liberty didn’t reply for a few moments, and then looked at him, her expression seeming somewhat scared and resigned at the same time. “You don’t need my compliments, and I have no intention of eating any of your fatty, sugary creations just to boost your ego.”
“Not even one? Come on, just one itty-bitty dessert to celebrate our renewed friendship?”
As she shook her head, Liberty couldn’t help sniggering, and her laugh sent a pleasant shiver running down his spine.
“A dessert? No way!”
“It used to be your favorite food, don’t you remember?” he protested. “That’s why I opened a patisserie!”
“That’s your problem, not mine.”
“Your refusal is only making me more determined,” said Zack threateningly, but then smiled and reassured her. “I’m not going to go on about it right now, but only because you need some rest. Your fiancé said you didn’t sleep enough, so you should take your time. I’ll be back later to check on you,” he said, before going to the kitchen.
He felt better now that they had cleared things up between them, but what he had told her was true: now he was even more determined to have her eat one of his desserts. After all, he’d always loved a challenge.
Unfortunately, he knew he didn’t have much time to prepare something really special, but he definitely wanted to hear her moaning with satisfaction as she tasted something he’d made.
*
Liberty was finally feeling more relaxed now and actually managed to sleep for a few hours. When she woke up, the sun was high in the sky and the room was immersed in light. She could feel the light breeze which was moving the curtains caressing her body, although she was covered with a thin cotton blanket.
She treasured that rare sensation of wellbeing, which had probably been caused by the restful slept she’d just had. And on top of that, the sofa was so comfortable that she didn’t just want to get up immediately, the way she usually did when she woke up.
Soon enough, though, she remembered passing out and then the conversation with Zack, and that brought her back to reality with a bump.
She hated to admit that Zack was right about her physical state: not eating enough had made her weak, and that, added to her tiredness, the flu and the stress caused by their unexpected meeting, had made her faint. Resting in that beautiful airy room, though, being caressed by Zack and hearing him pronounce words she’d never even dared hope to hear had allowed some of the tension to dissipate and allowed her to rest peacefully. The delicious fruit salad he’d made her had restored her energies too.
But now it was time that she got up and got active. She was feeling guilty for having left Justin alone on the last day of their holiday, although she was sure he would be having a good time with their friends.
She was sitting on the sofa trying to think of the quickest way to join them when she realized that Zack’s daughter was perched on a colorful pouffe staring at her.
“Oh, hi Candice.”
The girl smiled, showing a big gap between her front teeth. “Hi! You slept a lot!”
“Did I? What time is it?”
“It’s snack time! Dad already brought it for you,” said Candice, pointing at a big plate full of temptingly colorful macarons. Her mouth started watering at the sight of them.
“And how come you’re here?” Liberty asked her.
“My dad asked me to keep an eye on you. He’s preparing dinner,” the girl replied, batting her lashes. “You’re going away tonight, right?” she said, turning serious.
“Yes, we need to go to work tomorrow.”
“That’s too bad. Why don’t you stay a little longer?”
Liberty smiled. “I’m sorry but we really can’t.”
Candice nodded sadly, jumped off her pouffe and took the big plate of macarons.
Liberty got up and went over to help her. “Wow, there’s really a lot of macarons there! Are you going to eat them all?”
“No, they’re for you too!” smiled the girl. “They’re for both of us!”
“Oh, thank you. That’s really sweet of you, but I’m not hungry right now.”
“Does that mean that you don’t want to eat them with me?” the little girl asked sadly.
Liberty looked at the plate and then shook her head. She couldn’t eat even one of them – God only knew how many calories each one contained.
Candice looked very upset over her refusal. Liberty had no idea how to talk to children: Clover had a lot of experience with them, of course, and even Zoe managed to establish a connection with any kid she happened to meet, but she had never had to interact with them much, and now she really didn’t know how to behave.
“I’m sorry, Candy,” she explained, hoping that the girl would understand. “I just don’t feel like eating.”
Candice didn’t want to give up, though, and Liberty knew exactly whom she had inherited her stubbornness from.
“But I wanted to have my snack with you!” whispered the little girl. “Jessie isn’t here today, and I don’t know who to have my snack with. She’s my nanny, but she’s gone back to New York to study. Dad is busy, Clover and Zoe are not here… there’s only you, can’t we have a snack together?”
“Damn it!” Liberty thought, biting her lower lip. She didn’t know how to explain to such a young girl that she couldn’t eat those gorgeous treats – especially because she knew that her father had made them precisely to ensure that she had no way out.
“I’m always on my own,” continued Candice in a melancholy voice that played on Liberty’s heart strings. “I’m always with daddy, but he’s not a girl like me. A mum would be a girl, but I don’t have one, and I never get to spend time with other girls.”
Liberty caressed her soft dark hair, another trait she had inherited from her father. “I’m really sorry to hear that.”
“I’m sorry too, sometimes. I like my daddy, though, and he loves me more than the whole world, that’s what he always says. My mommy didn’t want me, you see.”
Candice shrugged and looked more adult than she actually was, and Liberty felt her heart melting. She knew exactly how a little girl would feel, knowing that a parent had given her up. She put aside the tray and made Candice sit by her. “Who told you that?” she asked quietly.
“I’ll tell you if you have a macaron with me.”
“You really are your father’s daughter, aren’t you?” muttered Liberty, grabbing two macarons. She showed them to Candice and asked her, “Which one do you prefer? The pink or the yellow one?”
“The yellow one! It tastes of lemon! My daddy makes the best lemon curd ever!”
“Very well, it’s yours then!” Liberty watched as she took a bite and, as the macaron crumbled between the girl’s small lips, she couldn’t help swallowing herself.
“Uncle Brad said it,” Candice started talking, keeping her promise. “I was a little sad when I heard it, but then Daddy told me that not every mommy is good at taking care of her kids. He said that he loved me very much and that he didn’t want to leave me with my mommy because she was too busy and he wanted to be sure that I was always looked after, so he decided to take me with him. It’s like his triple chocolate cake… he’s the only person in the whole wide world who can make it. Once another man tried to make it but it was so horrible that Daddy had to fire him!” Candice smiled and Liberty saw a little dimple, just like the one Zack had, appear on her left cheek. “So really, my daddy had to fire my mommy too because she didn’t have time to take care of me properly. Dad says that taking care of me is even more complicated than m
aking his triple chocolate cake! But he promised me that one day I’ll have the best mommy ever!”
Liberty was moved by the girl’s story and by the way Zack had talked about the situation with his daughter: she thought he’d been pretty sensitive and creative and didn’t want to add anything else, so she took a bite of her macaron instead. She tasted the cherry filling and the sugary biscuit, full of almond flour, and couldn’t resist giving a sigh.
God, that macaron was just delicious…
Candice was observing her attentively, and she noticed Liberty’s ecstatic expression. “They’re the best, aren’t they?”
“They really are,” she nodded, licking some crumbs from her lips and some of the filling from her fingers.
“Daddy said that they were a little too dry… Do you think they’re dry?”
“No – they’re perfect.”
“Yeah, I think they’re perfect too!” said Candice solemnly. She took another bite of her yellow macaron and smiled at her again. “I’m going to be as good as my daddy one day!”
“Do you already know what you want to do when you grow up?”
“Of course I do! First of all I’m gonna be very tall and beautiful, and I am going to live in a huge house with a yellow room! And I’m going to be a chef for the Disney Channel, and all the famous people are going to eat my cakes!”
Liberty chuckled. “Wow, you really know what you want! Good for you!”
“Thanks!” said the little girl, nodding with childlike self-confidence, then she opened her eyes wide and pointed a finger in the air. “I nearly forgot: I’m going to have a really pretty, really nice mommy too!”
“Well, she’ll be a very lucky mommy to have you!” said Liberty, smiling at her sweetly.
“Do you want to be my mommy? I would like it if you were! I only need to ask my daddy if it’s OK with him too, because he will have to kiss you. But I think he likes you already so I’m sure he’ll say yes!”
Candice was interrupted by Zack, who rushed in the room as if he’d been listening behind the door the whole time and didn’t want his daughter to say anything else…