by Cassie Rocca
*
Cade found her on the terrace a little later, sitting on a bench half hidden behind a potted bush, a handkerchief in her hand, staring at the skyscrapers shining in the light of the setting sun.
“May I?” he asked softly as he approached.
Liberty raised her face, only slightly taken aback by the strikingly handsome face of the famous Hollywood actor. He had been part of the everyday life of Clover, and therefore of all of them, for less than six months, yet he seemed to have been there forever. When you were around him, you forgot that his face was constantly featured on television screens and glossy magazines: in their eyes, he had become a man like many others – attractive and charismatic but also sweet and romantic, and an absolutely perfect match for her friend.
“Sure, of course you can,” she said, wiping her cheeks.
“Your friends are worried about you, but they wanted to give you some space.” Cade stopped beside her and pointed to the bench. “Okay if I sit down?”
Liberty made room for him on the bench and smiled. “Is that why Clover sent you?”
“Clover doesn’t delegate, she just acts,” the man chuckled. “She would have come straight here herself, but she wasn’t 100 per cent certain you wanted to be consoled.”
“And I don’t. There’s no need, given that I’m the person responsible for bringing all this misery upon myself.”
Cade nodded thoughtfully. “It’s not for you that I’m here, actually, but for Zack.”
Liberty grimaced. “What, are you going to punch me to defend the honour of your friend after I turned him down?”
“Did you really turn him down?”
Under the watchful gaze of those blue eyes, Liberty shrugged. “That’s the way it looks, isn’t it, however I might feel at the moment? My mind was still not totally made up, and he realized it. End of story.”
“What’s holding you back?” asked Cade.
“I don’t know if it’s worth taking the risk, Cade,” she sighed. “Sending everything up in smoke and making Justin suffer just a few days before the wedding.”
“You’re in love with Zack, and that’s a more than valid reason to stop everything. And don’t say it’s too late, because it’s never too late until you’re actually standing at the altar saying ‘yes’.”
“Justin keeps my feet on the ground. Until a few weeks ago, I really thought we would be happy… Or at least, contented.”
“And is that what you want from a marriage? Contentment?”
Liberty stared at the pink sky. “I wasn’t made to fall in love. I can’t manage my emotions, I throw myself into things headlong and I always come out bruised and battered… I’ve spent a lot of time trying to protect myself from any possible pain, and it’s too late to retrace my steps now. If it didn’t work out between me and Zack, it would destroy me. So why risk it? It doesn’t make sense.”
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned from your crazy redheaded friend, it’s that love itself makes no sense – it takes you by surprise when you least expect it, but your heart recognizes it instantly. Trying to be rational about it doesn’t help. We always try to rationalize everything, but most of the time it’s just a waste of energy… You were in love with Zack when you were a young girl, and seeing him rekindled that feeling in you… That doesn’t happen to everyone… When I see my ‘first love’, I’m amazed that I was ever attracted to her!”
“I was the one who was in love, not Zack.”
“It only occurred to me now, but years ago, when we became closer friends, Zack told me that his passion for pastry began when he was a teenager because of a girl with a sweet tooth that he’d been very much in love with.” Cade looked at her. “That girl was you, I guess.”
Liberty felt her eyes moisten. The fifteen year old her must have had some effect on him if he had remembered her all that time.
“Maybe when he was a kid he wasn’t interested in a serious relationship and was happy just to have you as a friend, but now it’s different,” Cade continued. “Now, he’s in love with you.”
Her heart leapt. “Did he tell you that?”
“He didn’t need to – when you know someone, really know them, you can tell – you can see it in their eyes. But there is one irrefutable piece of evidence that proves how serious he is.” Cade waited for her to look at him and smiled. “It’s Candice – he would never have risked his daughter’s heart if he hadn’t been more than certain of what he felt for you.”
With her throat aching and her eyes swimming with tears, Liberty nodded.
“Get out of this party, Lib. Go and talk to him, I’m certain that’s he’s waiting for you.”
“Thank you,” Liberty murmured, smiling through tears.
Cade lifted an arm in a comforting caress, then straightened up. “You helped me to get Clover back in time so I owe you one, and if there’s anything I can do…”
Liberty stood up, wiping her face. Cade was right – it made absolutely no sense for her to stay at that party. She loved Zack and that fact couldn’t be changed, nor could she risk waiting a minute longer. It was time to take back her dreams, reopen her heart to her emotions and give herself the chance to be happy.
She wanted to go back to being the old Liberty, but without losing the maturity she possessed today. She would face the hypothetical problems of the future if and when they actually happened.
She couldn’t carry on not really living because she was scared it might entail suffering.
“Can you just make sure Zack is back at the bakery?” she asked her friend.
Cade pulled his cell phone out from the pocket of his dark jacket. “And if he is?”
“Make sure he stays there… and that there are plenty of pastries on hand,” she sighed. Then she pulled back her shoulders.
But before she went to Zack, there was something important she had to do.
*
She found Justin waiting for her as soon as she went back inside. He was leaning against the wall, a glass of champagne in his hand, his jaw muscles contracted. Dance music was playing in the background, but she barely noticed it.
He knew. Liberty realized it immediately. “Have you decided to come back to the party or are you planning to spend the whole evening hiding away from your guests?” he asked, seemingly calm. “I’ve run out of excuses to explain your absence.”
Liberty couldn’t look him in the eye. “Actually, I…”
“You should have told me earlier, Liberty,” he snapped, standing up straight.
“Told you what?” she said vaguely.
“That you have a thing for your friend.”
Liberty raised her chin proudly.
“And how long have you known about this ‘thing’?”
“I started to suspect the last night in Cape May. Since you saw him, you’ve been acting strange, and your explanations just don’t hold water.” Justin shrugged. “You’re not usually an emotional woman. Some friend from your not very happy childhood wouldn’t have got you in that state. And when I saw you in Central Park playing the happy little family, it was proof that things were getting out of hand.”
Her feelings of guilt were overshadowed by surprise and bitterness. “You were convinced that I had feelings for another man… and you didn’t say anything to me about it?”
“Why would I have? A crush doesn’t mean anything, you were determined to marry me anyway. But that little scene back there with the cake… That embarrassed me.”
Liberty shook her head and gave a bitter laugh. “Jesus, and I’m supposed to be the one who’s not emotional? Any other man would have been enraged just at the thought of it, but you were going to marry me anyway, knowing that I was in love with another man.”
“‘‘In love’…? Don’t you think you’re blowing it a bit out of proportion?”
Liberty stared at Justin’s serious face, and for the first time in many years, found herself looking at a stranger. “No, Justin, I’m not blowing it a bit out of prop
ortion: I actually am in love with Zack. I already was when I was fifteen, and that’s when my heart froze. I didn’t want to suffer anymore so I repressed my real nature and I slowly became the woman you met, and I thought we would be perfect together. But then I saw him again and all of my hard work went up in smoke.”
Justin looked uncomfortable for the first time. “So you’re going to make me look like an idiot in front of all my friends?”
Incredulous but resigned, Liberty smiled and shook her head. “I have no intention of making a public announcement here, don’t worry about that. You can talk to your family and tell them that the wedding isn’t happening in whatever way you think best. And give my apologies to the guests, but, as you pointed out to me a little while ago, I’m not at all well and I think I’ll go home.”
She walked past him and took the service door, her head still ringing with confusion over that conversation.
God, had she really come that close to becoming such an emotionless, cold person? Had she been about to throw away real, passionate love and succumb to her fear of suffering in order to marry a man who was more upset about the idea of looking a fool than he was about finding out his girlfriend was cheating on him?
An oppressive weight seemed to lift itself from her chest, leaving her free to breathe for the first time in many years. But a moment later, her stomach clenched in worry.
If leaving Justin had been easier than she had imagined, going to get Zack back was a frightening prospect.
She only hoped she was still in time.
*
The silence of the house was deafening. It had been his decision to let Candice spend the week with his parents in Chicago, but now that he found himself alone, he almost felt like going there and bringing the little girl back with him.
When he left her with her grandparents, he thought it would be best for both of them: he was in a terrible mood, and the closer it got to Liberty’s party, the longer his long face grew. For days he waited for a sign from her, hoping she would throw over her wedding and run to him, but after hearing nothing, he gave up all hope.
He called Clover to be sure of the place Liberty had chosen for the party, and he kept himself busy preparing the damn cakes for the happy couple. He wasn’t going to give up, though, he decided – not until the bitter end: Liberty would only be out of his grasp after she said yes at the altar.
Seeing her at the party, standing by the side of her future husband, had made his conviction waver dangerously. They felt something strong for each other, she had been his, he had asked her for a chance… And yet there, in front of a crowd of people who already considered her Mrs Matthews, Liberty had chosen to stay with the lawyer.
When he had offered her the cake – the one he had made with her in mind – he had asked her to make her decision.
And she had made it.
He ran a hand over his tired face, trying to drive the image out of his mind, and looked around his daughter’s room. He couldn’t afford to cave in now: Candice would be back soon and he had to be calm and lucid for her. The little girl was his whole world: he couldn’t allow a relationship that hadn’t ended the way he’d hoped to compromise their life together.
Ended the way he’d hoped? he thought bitterly: It never even started! Yet in his heart, it was as if he and Liberty had always belonged together. A connection had been made between them long ago, and that bond had strengthened over the last month, growing at the speed of light.
Rationality wouldn’t change what he felt for her.
But any distraction would be helpful in keeping the pain at bay, and he had every intention of keeping himself very busy.
He got up from Candice’s bed and went back downstairs. He had decided that he would take refuge in the house to avoid any questions from the guys in the shop, but he couldn’t be alone and at the mercy of his thoughts right now. He preferred to work.
And preferably not on the same worktop where he had made love to Liberty.
The pastry shop was still noisy with the voices of workers and customers as well as the machines operating in the kitchen. It was almost closing time, though, and the number of customers was falling sharply: it was the best time to get his hands in the pastry.
As soon as he entered the kitchen, two of his colleagues turned to look at him, the same strange expression on both their faces. Realising that he must look terrible, with his unkempt hair and rings under his eyes, he ignored them and went over to arrange some ingredients on the counter.
The swinging door leading to the shop opened and his brother came in looking annoyed.
“Have you got a fucking cake left in this sticky hellhole? Christ, what’s the point of having a pastry chef as a brother if I can’t get a cake when I need one?”
“No point at all, I guess,” snorted Zack. “Anyway, hey Brad. To what do I owe the pleasure? And what do you need a cake for?”
“It’s my girlfriend’s birthday and for her present, I brought her to the Big Apple. So now, of course she expects a cake too. I wanted to get one before I went back to the hotel.”
“If you’d told me you were coming I’d have made you a special one.”
“It doesn’t matter, any of them is fine.”
Zack sighed with irritation. “If any of them is fine then just go ahead and choose one! There must be at least a dozen in the window.”
“That was what I was planning to do, but apparently some crazy woman has just bought them all and is sitting in your tasting room as we speak eating her way through them!” Brad shook his head. “Why the hell do people even like desserts? They make me nauseous.”
Zack dumped the ingredients on the counter with an impatient snort. “I’ll try to get her to swap one for something else so there’s one left for you. Otherwise you can go somewhere else – this city’s full of patisseries.”
“Yeah – but here they’re free,” joked his brother as he followed him out of the kitchen.
Brad’s joke fell on deaf ears.
Zack wasn’t listening to him anymore – his eyes were fixed upon the familiar figure sitting at one of the tables in the small room they used for cake tasting.
She was still wearing the same strapless black dress she’d had on for the party, but her hair was no longer soberly gathered at the back of her head: now it fell down over her shoulders in all its golden beauty. Her face still looked as drawn as it did before, and she wasn’t wearing make up. She looked tired, but he didn’t care – she was beautiful and even though a couple of hours ago she had refused his cake, there she was trying to taste all the ones he had left in the shop.
Her first impulse was to run over to her, pull her up from the chair and crush her in the type of hug that wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer, but he commanded himself to stay cool as he set off in her direction. He didn’t want to get his hopes up before he was absolutely sure.
“Liberty,” he said, stopping in front of her.
He saw a flash of apprehension in her beautiful green eyes, then she gave him a vague smile and started to eat again.
“Zack.”
“What are you doing here?”
“I’m doing what you wanted me to.”
Brad appeared next to him. “Weren’t you supposed to be asking her if she’d be nice enough to leave me one?”
Zack ignored him. “Did you come here to eat my cakes?” he asked, staring at Liberty with a perplexed expression on his face. “Because that wasn’t exactly what I meant.”
“Oh, I know, but you wanted to see me tasting your cakes of my own free will, and so I thought… I’d start here.”
His heart missed a beat. “Start what?”
Liberty opened her mouth to answer, then closed it: the pair of them had only realized at that moment that most of those present were watching the scene.
Zack took her by the hand and pulled her to her feet. “Let’s go talk someplace else.”
“Let’s.”
The contact between their hands rekindled h
is hopes, and this time he had no doubts at all. In Liberty’s eyes he read more than he had dared to dream and he practically dragged her off towards the door, anxious to be alone with her.
“Are you leaving these here?”
Brad’s voice made both of them turn. Zack held Liberty’s hand tight and smiled. “Lib, do you remember my brother?”
“Unfortunately, yes.” Liberty held out her hand to a rather perplexed Brad. “How are you? You haven’t changed much, you just look older.”
“Do I know you?” asked Brad.
“Of course you know her. She used to come to our house years ago – Liberty Allen, Tammy’s cousin.”
Brad stared in shock as he ran his eyes over the woman’s supple, seductive body. “Allen the donut?!”
“I was hoping you’d have forgotten that,” she snapped with a grimace of irritation.
“I’ll be damned!”
“Did I or did I not tell you that I would marry the most beautiful woman in the world, one day?”
Brad’s eyes almost popped out of their sockets, but Zack didn’t notice. All his attention was focused on the glowing face of Liberty, who had sighed in surprise at his words.
“You’re getting married?!” exclaimed his brother. “When?”
“I don’t know yet…” He looked at Liberty, in his eyes a silent question.
She smiled back – a sweet, luminous smile that seemed to erase every sign of tiredness from her face. She hugged Zack’s arm, then looked back at Brad. “Who knows, maybe pretty soon,” she said with a wink. “Better be prepared.”
Unable to resist any longer, Zack started dragging her off towards the kitchen again. He wanted to be alone with her, to cover her with kisses and to give her all the love that he felt welling up inside him.
He flung open the door and glared at his colleagues. “Out!” he ordered.
As the rest of the staff snuck away, Liberty chuckled. “Is that the famous ‘mean face’ Candy’s always talking about?”
“No, this is just the desperate one.”
Zack didn’t even wait until the door was closed: he took Liberty in his arms and kissed her urgently.
“Never do that again,” he said to her between kisses.