‘Lance Corporal Moralee,’ the CSM said my name slowly, as if deciding whether he liked it or not.
‘Yes, Sir,’ I affirmed, bracing myself for him to suddenly explode with rage.
I had been in front of sergeant majors before, but I had never grown used to their overwhelming presence. They were imposing, often terrifying men that could cause troopers to shake with fear, and this man was no exception. Most sergeant majors were veterans who had served in the dropship infantry for almost as long as I had been alive, climbing up through the ranks as they proved themselves worthy.
The sergeant major’s cold, battle-hardened eyes pierced into my soul, but I wasn’t going to appear frightened in front of the company, for it would earn me everlasting ridicule.
He rubbed at his temple as if he were trying to come to terms with what he had been told, ‘You relieved your section commander on the ground. Why?’
‘I had no choice, Sir,’ I replied honestly, ‘He had paused at a critical stage in the battle.’
The CSM looked briefly at Johnno, then back to me, ‘What about the roof? Who told you to fire into it?’
I couldn’t tell a lie, but for some reason I avoided telling the whole truth, ‘A civilian, Sir.’
Ev was a civilian, technically, I told myself.
‘A civilian,’ the CSM repeated.
‘Sir.’
‘So why did you chose to go along with this civilian?’
I considered my response, ‘It made sense that if any aircraft were nearby then they would see the explosion, Sir. I also figured that losing the air might shock the enemy and give us more time. If the civvy was right, we would be saved. If he was wrong, it wouldn’t have made a difference.’
‘It was a good idea, Sir,’ Johnno agreed, coming to my aid. After all, it was him who had given the nod to fire the smart missile into the glass roof, and if we hadn’t done so then there was a good chance that we wouldn’t have survived long enough for the company to find us anyway.
The CSM considered my reasoning, nodding slowly as he did so, ‘I don’t quite understand what your boss is angry about. What Lance Corporal Moralee did was irregular, but it was a considered action that probably saved lives. Commanders must be able to act on their own initiative. Is that it?’
‘Near enough, Sir,’ I said.
He cocked his head, ‘Then there is more?’
Konny had already stitched me up with the platoon commander, so I saw no reason to protect him, ‘I had to get him moving during a previous ambush, Sir.’
‘How?’
‘I… grabbed him by the throat, Sir.’
I could swear the corner of the CSMs mouth twitched, ‘I can’t have my NCOs filling each other in on the ground, Lance Corporal Moralee.’
‘I know, Sir. But it got him moving.’
‘I’ll bet it did. Corporal Johnston, see to it that young Moralee here is given a fitting punishment for his actions once we return to Lash, whenever that might be. I’ll talk to your boss.’
‘Sir.’
The CSM fixed me with a penetrating stare, ‘Give me your hand, Moralee.’
Cautiously, I held out my left arm, and as I did so he grasped it firmly, and slapped me across the wrist.
‘Now don’t do it again,’ his mouth twitched again, and he winked. Whether he knew that Konny was an arse, or he simply knew that I was only trying to keep my men alive, the CSM was clearly on my side.
My shoulders relaxed as I turned to leave, but I couldn’t help but feel guilty for not mentioning Ev. Had I done the right thing not to say anything? I still felt such a powerful loyalty to him, even though he had gone AWOL. I thought that Geany had noticed that I knew the man who told me the company were near, but he obviously hadn’t told anybody.
‘You don’t need to worry about the CSM, mate,’ Johnno said, catching up with me before I managed to return to the platoon, ‘I think he likes you.’
I stopped walking, ‘I’m not worried,’ I said.
‘Did you really have to grip Konny by the throat?’
I wasn’t sure if he was asking whether or not the event occurred, or if I thought I had been right to do it.
I nodded to both, ‘Yeah.’
‘Funny really,’ Johnno said quietly, conscious that others might hear him, ‘I don’t rate him, never have. He was never even that great in the simulators, but I never thought he’d be that bad.’
I realised then that Johnno believed me, rather than Konny’s version of events.
‘Nobody’s been shooting at him until now,’ I pointed out.
‘True. He did get shot.’
I kissed my teeth irritably, ‘That was a flesh wound. Have you seen it?’
Judging by the information I had seen on Konny’s datapad it was little more than a nick to the skin, nothing as bad as the deep gouge that a dart had cut through my own arm.
Johnno laughed, ‘No, but I read his datapad.’
We both watched the platoon feast on another round of baguettes being brought out by the conscripts. They must have had a pretty big cookhouse somewhere nearby in the warren.
‘Your boss hates me,’ I said sullenly.
‘The boss hates near enough all of us. He’s a miserable bloke who just has to disagree with everyone. There’s not much I can do about that, I’m afraid. What he really hates about you, though, is your medal and your experience. He’s jealous, I think.’
‘Well he can have it if he wants, it’s not worth anything.’
My medal wasn’t worth much more than the metal it was made from. Apparently troopers had actually tried to sell their medals upon returning to Earth, only to be quickly caught and ordered to reverse the deal.
‘I don’t think throwing your weight around really helped much either,’ Johnno added. I knew that he was right.
‘Yeah,’ I admitted, ‘But I was only doing my job.’
‘I know,’ Johnno said sincerely, ‘Westy told me you’re a good trooper. Look, let’s just get on with sorting the boys out, then we’ll worry about the boss later. I could do with stuffing one of those rolls down my face, too.’
‘Okay.’
‘Try to get on with Konny, though. Maybe you should be the section commander, and not him, but that’s not our call to make right now, it’s one for the boss. I’ll speak to him and try to get him to see sense, but if he leaves it as it is, then you need to be the bigger man and accept it.’
I realised suddenly that I actually wanted to take command of the section. Back in Lash I had dreaded the idea of stepping up from my role as 2ic to take on the full burden of command, but now I couldn’t stand to see a man I considered below standard leading my men. That aside, if every time something happened Konny decided to freeze, then it was only a matter of time before another trooper died.
‘I will,’ I said.
Johnno stepped closer to me so that others might not hear him.
‘If he does it again,’ he said, as if reading my mind, ‘Relieve him, and don’t hand back the reins afterwards. I’ll back you up, even if it gets us both in the shit when we get back in.’
‘I will.’
He nodded toward the platoon, ‘Come on, then. We’ll eat, then we’ve got a few bits to square away before the officers finish sniffing glue.’
I laughed, ‘Yeah.’
‘Oh, and from me, you did a good job out there. The boys think it too. You can see it. You earned their respect today.’
‘Thanks,’ I said, swelling with pride. I hated Konny, and I thought Geany was a little gobshite, but I liked the rest of my section. I just wished that it was a section of eight troopers, and not now a section of seven.
We walked back to the platoon and began to prepare ourselves for whatever was to come next. Once we had gorged ourselves on Nieuwe Poort baguettes we busied ourselves with recharging the water reservoirs in our daysacks and replacing our depleted ammunition with more provided by the CSM and his own company work party.
‘Top yourselves up to
frontline scales,’ the CSM called out to all of the three platoons, his voice echoing about the cavern, ‘Help yourselves and ask if you need more. The conscripts have enough in their stores to last out a month! Platoon sergeants, let me know when you’re sorted and ensure that your ammo states are updated!’
I was in no mood to make any kind of polite conversation with Konny, despite Johnno’s plea, and I made no effort to smooth things over with him. He had attempted to get me into trouble behind my back, eradicating any kind of respect I ever had for him. I was beginning to realise that his attitude wasn’t anything to do with the loss of his section commander, it was simply the way he was. Konny couldn’t handle himself in battle, so he made up for it by throwing his weight around all the rest of the time.
At one point Konny asked me for my ammunition state, which was a stupid question because I hadn’t finished distributing the ammo.
‘You’ll have it when I’m good and ready,’ was my brusque reply, and I fixed him with a challenging stare.
Konny suddenly found something to do on his datapad, giving him the chance to back down from the open confrontation with his 2ic. I knew that he was afraid of losing face in front of the section, all of whom were close enough to hear. It was so blatant that I had stared him down that normally I would have laughed, had I not already been so furious with him.
We reloaded our magazines and replaced all of our grenades, and I updated our ammo state on my datapad once I was happy that everything was done. I uploaded the figures to Konny and then to Johnno, who gave me the thumbs up. Our datapads were working correctly again now that the rebels couldn’t get to them underground.
‘That’s a relief,’ Johnno let out a sigh, ‘I’d forgotten how useful these things are!’
‘Just goes to show we should never rely on them,’ Jimmy Myers replied.
‘We could,’ Johnno replied, ‘If Electronic Warfare pulled their thumb out their arse. What we need to do now is shut down the whole city, cut the power, knock out the net and then round them up.’
Jimmy shook his head, ‘You can’t just shut down the whole city net!’
‘Why not?’ I asked.
‘You’d knock out everything; water, air filters, transport…’
‘Every single civilian carries a respirator,’ Johnno argued, ‘Even if it’s just to walk half a block. They’ll be fine. But as long as the network is operational then we can’t set foot back into that city without planning for some serious casualties.’
Johnno was right, I thought as I checked my section, vital readings were now coming through again. The enemy used electronic warfare to devastating effect, creating a whole new battlefield that we on the ground had barely any control over. If our EW team didn’t make some form of breakthrough then any return to the city without massive re-enforcements would only result in another bloodbath.
Suddenly I felt my datapad vibrating against my arm. I looked down and saw that it was flashing at me angrily. Patterson had no vital readings, it said, indicating that he was either dead or not present. I deleted his name from the section, leaving the space blank.
Once the platoon had finished their administration and Johnno was happy that we were ready to go again, he ordered us all to go to sleep. Nobody needed telling twice, the platoon was exhausted. All good troopers knew to sleep whenever the opportunity arose, since we never knew when we might get the chance again. It was highly likely that the officers that led our company were already hatching a plan to retaliate against the rebels, and no doubt a message had already been sent to regimental headquarters in Archer’s Post requesting assistance.
My section settled themselves onto the ground, arranging their equipment into makeshift mattresses to keep them off the cold floor. Our armour and daysacks could actually be quite comfortable to lie on, if you were tired enough!
I didn’t join them, though. It wasn’t time for me to rest, not yet. I had something else to do.
The minutes passed whilst I waited for the last trooper to close his eyes. When I was satisfied that nobody would notice me I picked myself up and quietly stalked over to where Konny lay. He had positioned himself against a crate a few metres away from the section, which would make it easier to get him up without anyone noticing. We had some unfinished business to attend to.
I stooped over him and nudged him with my foot.
Konny stirred and opened his eyes. His eyes widened when he saw that it was me who had woken him.
‘What?’ He asked.
‘You know what,’ I said menacingly, ‘You and I need to go somewhere, don’t we?’
He said nothing.
I beckoned, ‘Come with me. We need to have a word.’
Fear quickly turned to defiance, ‘No, we don’t. Go to sleep, Moralee.’
I seethed, barely managing to keep my voice down to an angry hiss, ‘Get up, Wysocki!’
I lunged at him, gripping him by his collar and wrenching him upwards in an attempt to get him to stand. He clawed uselessly at my hands to try to release my grip, refusing to get up off the ground.
‘Get off me!’
I was strong, but I wasn’t able to completely lift him. I threw him back to the ground with an angry growl and clasped him about the throat. He tried to pull my hand away, but by then I’d had enough. I punched him hard in the gut, knocking all of the wind out of him.
I brought my face close to his, ignoring his gasps for air, ‘You call me Moralee one more time and I will end you, Konny!’
He gasped, Let go!’
I ignored his plea, ‘I get it, Konny, this is your section, your train set, not mine. Fine. So do your fucking job and lead! You’re gonna get somebody killed, do you realise that?’
Silence.
‘Do you understand me?’ I repeated. My eyes burned into his. He had been lucky, I had planned to do far worse to him had he followed me out of the cavern.
Realising that I wasn’t going to let go until he agreed with me, Konny nodded.
‘Good,’ I released my grip, allowing him to breathe once more, ‘Next time I have to do your job for you, it will be permanent! Get a grip!’
I turned my back on the stunned lancejack, half expecting him to attack me. I wanted him to go for me so that so that I had an excuse to flatten him, but he didn’t. I doubted that he was any better in a fist fight than he was on the battlefield. Konny was all mouth and no trousers.
I settled myself into my pile of equipment, adjusting my daysack into a pillow. As I did so I noticed that Okonkwo had opened one eye to watch me. I didn’t know if he had seen me gripping Konny, but I didn’t care anyway.
‘What?’ I asked irritably when he continued to stare.
‘Nothing,’ Okonkwo closed his eyes again.
I rolled over with my back to him, not wanting to engage in further conversation. Unleashing my anger upon Konny hadn’t made me feel any better, in fact it made me feel worse, and I was still deeply troubled by my encounter with Ev, and Westy’s revelation.
‘Did you lose friends during the invasion?’ Okonkwo asked quietly.
I snapped abruptly, ‘What’s it to you?’
He sighed, ‘You’re not the only one who’s had a rough ride, Andy. We’ve all lost friends. Konny too.’
So Okonkwo had seen, then. I rolled back over to fix him with an angry stare, ‘That doesn’t give him the right to talk to me like I’m shit!’
‘No,’ he agreed, ‘But he’s afraid. He’s not thinking straight.’
I simmered, ‘Damn right he isn’t, half the time he isn’t thinking at all. I’m not taking shit from that little stroker.’
Okonkwo smiled wryly, ‘I think everybody knows that now,’ he continued with a sigh, ‘Konny’s afraid. We all are.’
I said nothing.
‘Aren’t you afraid of dying?’
I thought about it. Death for me meant no more guilt, no more nightmares. Sometimes I longed for it, but I couldn’t bring myself to take my own life. Perhaps I had returned to New Earth
so that somebody could do it for me.
‘Not really,’ I answered truthfully, ‘But I am afraid.’
Okonkwo raised an eyebrow, ‘Of what?’
I was afraid of more troopers around me dying, I thought. I lived with the grief of losing so many of my comrades and I couldn’t bear to lose any more. Every time I grew close to somebody during the invasion, that person had died or been horrifically injured, and I still felt the pain even two years on. The only thing that terrified me more than losing a comrade was losing one of the men under my command, and knowing that there was something that I could have done to keep them alive.
‘Making a wrong decision,’ I finally said.
Okonkwo nodded his understanding, ‘Konny’s afraid of that, too.’
I sneered, ‘He doesn’t make any decisions, so there isn’t much chance of him making a wrong one, is there?’
‘Maybe that’s the idea.’
I frowned, ‘What, so he freezes, waits for me to do something, then gobs off at me and complains to the boss?’
‘Isn’t it obvious why he’s doing that? He’s trying to hide the fact that you’re better than him. You can’t blame him for that, you turned up cutting about the place like ten men!’
‘That’s an exaggeration.’
Okonkwo chuckled, ‘Mate, seriously, you need to have a look in the mirror. You walk about like one mean looking bastard. Konny’s afraid of you being better than him, and everybody else seeing it. Konny’s afraid of more than just the enemy, he fears something that all men fear the most.’
‘And what’s that?’
‘He fears losing his place as a man amongst men.’
I said nothing. I knew that Okonkwo was right about one thing. Troopers feared nothing more than being seen as weak, especially the commanders.
‘The lads love you,’ Okonkwo went on, ‘They think you’re crazy, but they also think you’re hard as nails and you know what you’re doing. But you’ve got to have Konny on your side too.’
I realised that in a very careful way Okonkwo was admonishing me for what I had just done to Konny. The trooper was at least as senior as Geany, and although he hadn’t experienced as much combat as I had, he still held the wisdom gained by years of service to the Union. For such a large and powerful looking trooper, I realised that he was far smarter than he looked.
LANCEJACK (The Union Series) Page 13