The Heart of Winter

by Emma Hannigan

  He was so attentive and charming when he was with her, that Pippa decided not to press Danny about his social butterfly habits.

  By the time they arrived at Fire and Rain nightclub later that evening, she was more than ready for a dance.

  ‘I have a few people to see in here and then I’m all yours,’ Danny said, planting her in a booth similar to the one they’d shared the night before.

  By one in the morning, Pippa was feeling like death.

  ‘I need to get some sleep,’ she said. ‘I can’t do this non-stop partying like you,’ she grinned. ‘I’m gonna head off.’

  Danny looked so disappointed and begged her to stay.

  ‘I wish I could, believe me, I’d love to stay here but like I said, I’m wrecked.’

  ‘Here,’ he said pulling a small package out of his wallet. ‘This’ll sort you.’

  Pippa really didn’t want to take any more drugs. Even though she’d done it the night before, it wasn’t a scene she wanted to be part of on a regular basis.

  ‘Thanks, but I’ll pass. Why don’t you come back to my place?’ she suggested. ‘We can chill out.’

  Danny threw his head back and laughed. ‘I’m not in a position to chill for quite some time,’ he said. ‘Haven’t you noticed my eyes are popping? I’m buzzed up, baby.’

  The voice in her head was screaming no as Pippa snorted a line of coke. Danny was so much fun and the music was so amazing that all guilt dissolved. By the time they got back to his flat in the early hours of Sunday morning, Pippa knew she needed to sleep. Peeling off her clothes, she curled up in his bed.

  Moments later Danny joined her, stroking her hair tenderly and whispering sweet nothings into her ear. As Pippa drifted off, she had never been made to feel so coveted and precious.

  It was three in the afternoon before she finally surfaced. Danny was in the living room, working on his laptop.

  ‘Hey, sleepy-head,’ he said getting up to hug her. ‘Nice sleep?’

  ‘The best,’ she said yawning. ‘What time did you wake up?’

  ‘Not long ago,’ he admitted.

  ‘What are you doing? Surely you don’t work on Sundays?’

  ‘I work every day,’ he said. ‘It’s just a bit of bookkeeping. I like to stay on top of things.’

  Pippa pottered around the kitchen and made a pot of coffee. Danny answered some text messages and finished writing in his notebook. Pulling the curtains shut, he grabbed the remote control and pressed a button.

  ‘No way!’ Pippa said giggling, as the mirror transformed into a TV.

  ‘Cool, isn’t it?’ he grinned. ‘I’ve had it for a while now, but I still get a thrill out of it.’

  By four o’clock that afternoon, Pippa began to flag. She needed clean clothes and a few hours in her own bed. Her mother was probably doing her nut trying to contact her, but there wasn’t a hope in hell she was going near Huntersbrook now. The thought of painting or hoofing stuff into sheds didn’t appeal to her one bit. She guessed her family would be getting ready to sit down to a late Sunday lunch about now. Sadie and her mother would be fussing about as Lainey jigged Ely on her lap. The men would be discussing DIY jobs or sport. It was all so predictable and boring. Same shit, different day. Yawn.

  ‘So I’m gonna split,’ Pippa announced. ‘I’ve a few things to sort. You know yourself . . .’

  Danny instantly suggested they meet at Fire and Rain later that night, explaining he was meeting some clients.

  ‘I won’t be staying too long. I’ve to be in the office early in the morning. It’ll just be a quick drink, if you’re on for it?’

  Pleased that he wanted to see her again, she decided to go with the upper hand. She gave Danny a hug and said she’d leave it for this evening, but promised to meet him again soon.

  ‘I had the best weekend,’ she crooned as he saw her out. Kissing him passionately, she wanted to make sure she left him longing for her.

  ‘So much fun even though it was all a bit naughty,’ she said.

  ‘It’s only naughty if it starts to interfere with your working life,’ Danny reasoned. ‘Besides, you said yourself, it was a lot of fun! Once you know how to be cool, you won’t run into problems.’

  Pippa nodded. It all seemed so simple when Danny put it like that. She’d only ever had a tainted and negative image of drugs. This was a whole new world for her.

  She wasn’t sure she would even do it again, but Pippa knew one thing was certain, she’d never forget her little dabble or the nights she and Danny had just shared.

  ‘Don’t work too hard, pretty Pippa,’ he said as she pulled away from him and walked into the corridor.

  She waved and walked as if she were modelling Chanel’s latest collection. Knowing Danny was leaning against his doorframe staring gave her a little thrill. He was nothing like the other guys she’d dated before. This was a new and more grown-up guy. Ignoring the nagging inner voice that told her she was playing with fire, she stopped at the elevator and turned to wave. Seeing him wave back made her giggle. He was so damn gorgeous. As she stepped into the lift and the doors closed, she allowed a little gleeful yes escape her lips.

  Lainey

  MATT HAD OFFERED TO PUT ELY TO BED, SAYING he wasn’t going to interfere with Jules and Lainey’s chats. They’d had a delicious meal at Huntersbrook, which had led to Irish coffees and yummy chocolates.

  ‘I know what you two are like when you get going. Us men will retire.’

  ‘You’re stuffed to the gills and I saw you having a sneaky second Irish coffee with Dad and Joey,’ Lainey teased. ‘You’re going to conk out in our bed with Ely beside you like a little starfish while In The Night Garden is babbling in the background!’

  ‘You know me too well. I admit it, I can’t get enough of Igglepiggle.’

  As he climbed the stairs babbling to Ely, Jules smiled. ‘He’s such a dote, Lainz. You’re lucky to have him.’

  ‘I know. Can you believe how different my life is now? Ugh, I was so miserable when we worked together at the council office in Dublin. I don’t know how you ever befriended me!’

  ‘Aw don’t say that,’ Jules said. ‘You were so lovely to me when I started there. I know the others all thought I was some sort of brainless Barbie doll. You saw past my appearance and I’ll always adore you for that.’

  Lainey and Jules were like chalk and cheese in many ways. Jules’ own description of a Barbie doll was pretty much on the button with how she looked. She was girly sweet and in many ways quite naïve. But Lainey had never met a more loyal and kind person. Lainey, in comparison, was far more conservative in style and all she’d ever wanted was to be settled down and living back in the country.

  ‘How’s Pippa?’ Jules asked. ‘I thought you said she was meant to be here this weekend?’

  ‘She was,’ Lainey said rolling her eyes. ‘I think my parents are getting a bit fed-up with her lack of interest in helping.’ Lainey bit her lip. ‘Just let me text her one more time. I hope she’s OK actually . . .’

  Jules opened a bottle of wine and found two glasses and brought them into the living room as Lainey put her phone down.

  ‘Any response yet?’

  ‘No. Which is odd. Pippa usually replies instantly. I hope she’s OK.’

  ‘How has she been since the attack? I’ve barely seen her.’

  ‘She’s good, I think. She was very nervous for a while, I must say. She was down here most weekends and wasn’t remotely interested in going out in Dublin. But it seems she’s gotten over it all now.’

  ‘It still gives me the heebie-jeebies when I think about it,’ Jules said. ‘I mean, taxi drivers are meant to be the safe option, right? Single girls don’t go on night buses alone purely because it’s not wise. Yet poor Pippa happened to find the one nutter who flipped out.’

  ‘I know. It’s scary as hell, but she was fortunate in a way that all he did was hit her. It could’ve been a lot worse,’ Lainey said shuddering. ‘I’m a bit worried about her, you know? She we
nt from being like a scared little rabbit to having this carpe diem attitude of let’s all live life as it comes.’

  ‘That’s a bad thing?’

  ‘No, not if you’re considering a level-headed person in the equation. But our Pippa has always been impulsive and it usually gets her into hot water. That’s who she is. Shock or no shock, I’m uncomfortable with her complete change in personality. Don’t get me wrong, she’s been doing so well, setting up her website and knuckling down at work. I just hope she’s not drowning in it all now.’

  ‘Maybe she’s growing up and realising she needs to take responsibility for her own life?’

  ‘Oh believe me, I’d be thrilled if that were the case,’ Lainey said. ‘But I know my sister and I think she’s teetering on the edge at the moment. She’s like a pendulum swinging. She went really high one way and was a total minx and now it seems she’s gone totally the other way, channelling her saint Pippa guise. It’s not sitting with me. Maybe she’ll settle somewhere in the middle . . .’

  ‘Where is she this weekend? Working?’

  ‘No, I doubt it hugely. She didn’t mention anything, so I reckon she’s snapped and can’t bear the goody-two-shoes act any longer. I hope she’s not face-down in a pile of puke up a laneway.’

  ‘Oh no, Lainz, don’t say that,’ Jules looked alarmed. ‘Do you think she’s in danger? Should we call the police?’

  ‘Ah no. As we all know from Joey’s accident, bad news travels fast. I reckon Pippa is fine. She’s just having a blow out, if I know her. Anyway enough about Pippa, tell me about you. What’s the story?’

  Instantly, Jules’ eyes filled with tears. ‘Ugh, sorry, Lainz,’ she said flapping her hands in front of her face. ‘I’m an emotional wreck at the moment. I think living with my mother again has sent me over the edge. She’s worse than ever.’

  ‘Really? I thought you two had mended some bridges.’

  ‘So did I. Otherwise I wouldn’t have agreed to live there while my flat is being redecorated. But it’s a nightmare. The first couple of days were lovely. We shared dinner after work and it was all very amicable. But as soon as it came to the weekend, the nasty comments started again.’

  ‘Like what?’

  ‘Oh the usual . . . Why can’t I stop this “gay thing” and how I’d be much happier in the long run if I just married a nice man.’

  ‘That’s rich coming from her, considering she’s never had a husband!’ Lainey said crossly.

  ‘Well,’ Jules sighed heavily. ‘That’s the whole point, isn’t it? Mum is so bitter about being alone that she’s taking it out on me. She got quite irate the other night when I was going out to meet Sylvia. Said that I was a disgrace and she was ashamed of me. She came right up to me and said right into my face that she lies to her friends and tells them I have a boyfriend. That she’ll never tell them I’m gay.’

  ‘Oh Jules,’ Lainey said, taking her hand. ‘That’s really narrow-minded of her. But you know it’s just her own limitations that are holding her back? You can’t tell her how to feel, but she’s the one missing out. I wish I could grab her and shake her. She’s raised the most wonderful daughter and she’s too screwed up to see it.’

  ‘Thanks, Lainz,’ Jules took a big gulp of wine. ‘When Sylvia said she didn’t want to see me any longer, I crumbled. I stupidly told my mum and she was awful . . .’ Sobs took over as Lainey’s heart broke for her friend. Jules went on to explain how her mother had told her this was a sign that she needed to cop on and get over her “lesbian lark”.

  ‘How do I explain that I’m not doing this to annoy her? If I could fall in love with the boy next door and pop out some grandchildren, I’d do it. But I know I’d be miserable and she probably wouldn’t be any happier with me.’

  ‘Well I’ve done all of the above and my mother still treats me with disdain,’ Lainey admitted.

  ‘I know you’re going to kill me now,’ Jules said, holding her hand up. ‘But I think Holly is a sweetheart. I’m not saying I don’t feel your pain, Lainz. But your mum is a good person. She adores her family and all she wants is to be surrounded by all of you. My mother repels me like oil on water.’

  Lainey hesitated for a moment. She honestly didn’t want to poison Jules against her mother, but she needed someone to understand how she made her feel.

  ‘Mum suffered with crippling postnatal depression when I was born,’ Lainey explained. ‘As a result Grandma minded me and you know how close we were. When Grandma died I honestly thought Mum and I had turned a corner. But she was horrendous while I was pregnant and she still treats me like a numbskull when it comes to Ely.’

  ‘Are you sure you’re not just being overly sensitive around her?’ Jules asked honestly.

  ‘Maybe I am, but I can’t help the way she makes me feel, Jules. She’s so different with Joey and Pippa and I can’t seem to get past that.’

  Jules nodded and said she understood. Not for the first time, the girls realised how lucky they were to have each other.

  ‘Good friends are where it’s at, aren’t they?’ Jules said as she lay back on the sofa. ‘What would I do without you, Lainz?’

  ‘I don’t know and right back at ya,’ she grinned. ‘Hey, want to hear some exciting and slightly less depressing news before we fall up to bed?’

  ‘Shoot!’

  ‘Well, I have a five-year plan,’ Lainey said with a grin.

  ‘Tell me!’

  ‘You already know I want a brood of kids, well, we’ve started trying again officially. I think Matt was a little reluctant at first but he’s so into it all now. This place is going to burst at the seams if we don’t add on, so I’ve an idea to build on some more bedrooms.’

  ‘Ooh I like it! Will there be one for Auntie Jules?’

  Lainey giggled and said that there’d be one for the time being, until she filled them all with babies.

  ‘I’m glad one of us has a life that isn’t a total car crash,’ Jules said with a sad smile.

  ‘Things can only get better,’ Lainey said.

  Jules burst out laughing. ‘I used to love that song. It’s true though. When you’re at the bottom of the barrel, the only way is up.’

  ‘I loved that song,’ Lainey grinned. ‘Maybe some night soon we’ll go into Dublin and dance for five hours. What do you reckon?’

  ‘Deal. As soon as my flat is ready we’ll go out on the tiles.’

  ‘You’d better tell the workmen to hurry up. I could have a bun in the oven very soon. I won’t be any fun if I’m retching and sipping iced water!’

  They finished the bottle of wine and decided to call it a night. As predicted, Lainey found Matt curled up in their bed with Ely beside him. The DVD had ended and the TV was showing a blank screen. While Jules was in the bathroom she slid Ely’s cot from the spare room into theirs. Expertly, she slid her hands under Ely’s warm sleeping body and lowered him into his cot. As she gazed down at his gorgeous cherubic face she felt a tiny shiver of excitement as she thought of the little brother or sister that would be joining their family soon. She hoped Ely would have as strong a bond with his siblings as she had with hers.

  Fleetingly, she thought of Pippa. Lainey sincerely hoped she was OK. She’d have something to say to her when she got a hold of her. It was one thing avoiding helping, but it was quite another to ignore everybody’s text messages and calls. Pippa needed to learn a bit of consideration.

  As she pulled on her nightdress and climbed in beside Matt, Lainey was too tired to be angry. She fell into a delicious sleep, with dreams of babies and family occasions.

  Joey

  JOEY ALWAYS WOKE FEELING REFRESHED WHEN HE slept at Huntersbrook. He presumed it was the combination of fresh air and calm, but he was always on edge while in Dublin city.

  ‘It’s because you don’t have to go to work,’ Skye pointed out as she stretched lazily. ‘I’m so glad we decided to stay here this week.’

  ‘Me too,’ said Joey. ‘Oh by the way, I’ll need to fly up to Dublin for the d
ay tomorrow. It’s no biggie. Just a meeting Clive says I can’t miss.’

  ‘But you booked a week off, Joey. What if we’d gone abroad?’

  ‘Then I guess I’d miss the meeting. But we didn’t go abroad, so I can go.’

  Skye said she was planning a meeting with Lainey, as they needed to put the finishing touches to the website before it all went live.

  ‘I think it’s going to look really special when we’re finished,’ she said.

  Joey pulled on a pair of old jeans and a T-shirt.

  ‘Project Huntersbrook is going to work,’ Skye said firmly. ‘I feel it in my bones.’

  Joey leaned over and kissed her.

  ‘Have you much real work to do today?’ he asked. The beauty of Skye’s job was that she could do it anywhere once she had internet connection.

  ‘I’ve a few things, but my aim is to try and take as much of the week off as possible. I want to enjoy the time with you and your family without feeling as if I’ve one eye on the laptop all the time.’

  ‘OK, great. I’ll see you later on. Help yourself to toast down in the kitchen. Sadie or Mum will probably be around at some stage, but there are always a few bits in the fridge.’

  ‘Oh no, that’s OK, I’m calling over to Lainey’s house,’ Skye said. ‘I could happily stay here for the day though. It’s so quiet and peaceful.’

  ‘Oh yeah,’ Joey stopped at the door. ‘You know the black-tie ball for work that’s coming up? I was thinking maybe you could borrow something from Lainey? It’s going to be really swanky and I’d hate you to feel under-dressed. Growing up with two sisters I know what you gals are like . . .’

  Skye stared at him with a look of confusion on her face.

  ‘I have loads of clothes, Joey. I’ll find something. Besides, I don’t think either of your sisters’ clothes would even go over my leg, let alone make me look good. You have noticed I am rather more curvy than Lainey, I take it?’

  ‘It was only a suggestion. No worries,’ he said.