by Matt Abraham
“Don’t be dramatic Mr. Curse. You’re fine.”
I looked at my hand. No blood. “It didn’t… I’m not…”
“Of course not. Your invulnerability is high on the scale. Very high. You were never in danger.”
“Still hurts.” I stood up, and rubbed my stomach. “Bad.”
“Just because you’re invulnerable doesn’t mean you can’t feel pain.”
“Thanks for that reminder.” The slug was on the ground next to me, crushed from the impact, but still glowing. “So, if they can’t kill me then they couldn’t kill Pinnacle. Even with a collar.”
“Clearly.”
I had one more shot. “And there’re no individuals out there in his power league?”
“No, not a one. Even on Black Bleach.”
“The old power enhancer?” I hadn’t thought of that. “Could it work? I know it was sort of temperamental. Killed a bunch of people a few years back.”
“It didn’t kill a bunch of people, it’s killed everyone who’s ever taken it.”
“But you think it’s a possibility?”
He shook his head. “No. Even if you could find a dose, which is impossible, and injected it into yourself, which thanks to your skin you can’t, it would kill you long before you reached Pinnacle’s level.”
“So, if he can’t be hurt by weapons or villains then he’s still out there, ready to return whenever he pleases.”
“I’m happy to say. Now, if I may ask you a question. How serious are you in ascertaining his location?”
“Very.”
“Well, as that’s the case may I offer an opinion? Put all this foolishness with weapons and nullifiers aside. You should start with what’s changed.”
“What’s changed?” I said. “How do you mean?”
“Look to what’s changed. Pinnacle’s been predictable in his public appearances and patrols for almost two decades now, and every time he’s gone on extended leave he’s always told the city beforehand. As that’s not the case then his absence, I dare say, probably has something to do with his personal life. It’s a difficult task, believe me I know, but check into the man’s life, not the hero’s. If there are answers to be had, that’s where they lie.”
It was almost dawn when the drone dropped me off, and I wasn’t any closer to solving this thing. The Professor was the oldest dog in the race, and if anyone knew anything it would be him, but all I got was gut shot, and a ‘check Pinnacle’s private life’.
Thanks Prof, thanks a million.
How many black capes and fans and reporters have tried to ferret out that secret identity? Almost all of them I bet, but sure, I’ll give it a shot. Shouldn’t take more than the afternoon.
I hopped into Jane with a heavy heart. The trip was a waste of time. The sad fact was I knew a lot about the black capes of Gold Coast, but when it came to the secret lives of heroes I didn’t even know where to begin.
Chapter 5
But that wasn’t exactly true.
As I got closer to the city proper I had an idea, and it was definitely a long shot, but there was someone who might be able to push me in the right direction. I looked at my watch. I had to rush. Her shop would be open soon, and once that happened I wouldn’t be able to walk in there without causing a ruckus, so I pressed on the gas, and Jane jumped into high gear.
The light in front of me turned red. I bombed through it without a second glance, and made the next one as it turned yellow. But as I passed beneath it Jane spun out of control, careening towards the sidewalk. I mashed down the brakes. It didn’t do squat. I jumped the curb, and came to a quick stop thanks to a lamppost, which was now flat on the sidewalk.
God damn it Temper, I thought, nice tires.
I got out of my car to check the damage. As I did my feet slipped out from under me, and I crashed hard on the flat of my back. Flipping over I got to all fours. I tried to stand. But my foot slipped again, and I fell face down. Cold seeped in through my coat. And I realized what I was lying on. “Black ice? In the summer?”
Carefully I got to my hands and feet once more. As I kept myself steady a white sheet of frost grew over and around my limbs, locking me to the ground. I pulled up hard, but didn’t budge.
“Hey blunt skull,” a woman’s voice said from behind.
I looked back. “Hoarfrost. Cute. Now let me up.”
“Not yet.” Kneeling down next to me she slung her cold right arm around my shoulder. “I’m here to make you a deal.”
“So deal.”
“Ok. Here it is: get off the case. Take a vacation. Maybe New York. I hear it’s nice. Leave the investigating to me.”
I strained against the frozen sheet. It was stronger than steel. “And if I don’t?”
She extended her left hand. From it a long, pointed icicle grew. Hoarfrost dragged its tip down the side of my face. Then she flipped it around, and holding the pointy end, used it like a club to crack the back of my head. Pain exploded behind my eyes. White dots danced across my field of vision.
“Do,” she said. “You have to know you won’t get Lynchpin’s ten million.”
“I don’t know,” I said, trying to hide the pain in my voice, “I’m feeling pretty lucky.”
She spun the club around, and thrust its point towards my eye. I spun my head away. The makeshift blade struck my cheek. It shattered, but I still screamed.
“Really?” Hoarfrost said. “Are you still?”
That was enough. Bracing my left hand against the pavement I pulled my right up as hard as I could. With a loud crack my hand burst free. I swung it at Hoarfrost’s face. She jumped back, and I missed by inches.
“Nice try,” she said, and kicked me in the ribs.
I reached into my jacket, and pulled out Rico. Aiming at her I pulled the trigger with my pinky. Explosive tipped bullets barked from his muzzle. Hoarfrost ducked and rolled, then leapt behind Jane.
I tried to follow, but with my other three limbs still trapped I didn’t get far. I pointed Rico down and fired twice. The bullets bounced off, barely chipping the white sheet. I’d need something with more oomph if I didn’t want to wait for the thaw, so I put my piece down, made a fist, and punched the ice. It cracked. A second blow shattered it like glass. I snatched Rico, leapt up, and ran around my car. But no one was there. The chilly broad had up and vanished like a snowman in spring.
I rubbed the back of my head. It was dry. Then I checked the spot she stabbed. No blood there either. I slid behind the wheel and backed onto the street slowly, then continued on my way, promising the next time I crossed paths with Hoarfrost I’d come out on top.
#
It was a little before seven when I pulled up outside the small residential home whose basement housed the shop called Comics and Robots. I walked past its sign, probably the smallest ever made, down the steps, and through the door. Inside was dark, cool, and smelled like old paper. The walls were covered with shelves choked by comic books and figurines, while in the corner a short, squat Asian girl sat behind the counter, reading a book. Her shoulder length hair was the color of pitch and looked like it only had casual relationships with the brushes it knew.
“Hello?” I said.
She didn’t bother to look up. “Not open yet.”
“You’re the hero blogger Fangirl, right? You own this place.”
“Not until I have my coffee.” She raised her head. “Who are you, gorilla?”
“My name’s Dane Curse, and-”
Fangirl pulled a baseball bat from behind the counter, and jumped to her feet.
I laughed. “Guess you don’t need that coffee anymore.”
She raised the Louisville Slugger high up, ready to swing. “Get out.”
“It’s ok, I’m not here-”
“To kill me? Are you sure, because I’m about two seconds away from breaching my warp core in full on freak out so scram before I call the cops.”
Terror’s no good for accurate info, and I could see she had two eyefuls of the s
cary stuff. “Settle down spitfire, I’m not here for dastardly deeds, so lose the bat, you won’t need it.” I took a seat on the stool across from her, and dropped my hat and coat on the counter. “I just want to ask you a few questions, and then I’ll walk out the door all muss and fuss free.”
She raised the bat higher. “Stay away.”
I sighed. “So you know who I am?”
“I know the name. Black cape from the late Nineties. Medium sized hitter. No real powers though, just invulnerability and super strength in the seven ton range.”
“Wow, good memory. But the black cape thing was then, and this is now, and in the now I’m a detective.” I cocked an eyebrow. “You know what detectives do, don’t you?”
“Detect stuff. I guess.”
“Detect stuff, that’s right, you got it one, that’s what I do.”
Fangirl relaxed a touch.
I smiled.
She swung her bat like the State Title was on the line. It connected with my chin, hard. And exploded to splinters.
I rubbed my jaw. “Good, now that it’s out of your system…”
She dropped the jagged handle, and took a step back.
“Come on, stop being silly. I need information, and breaking your jaw will only make that more difficult, so relax already, let’s chat.” I motioned for her to sit down.
She complied, and slid onto her stool with eyes that looked like they might never blink again.
“You still seem a little tense,” I said.
“Can’t imagine why.”
“That’s funny. So you know who I am, and you know my powers, what else do you know about me?”
“You were rumored to be part of Dread Division.”
“That’s true, I was.”
“Then you must have bailed before they all got arrested.”
“The kid’s on a roll.”
“So you, oh my God, were you there?” She leaned forward about half an inch, the look in her eyes shifting from fear to wonder. “The siege of Top Tower. Were you actually there?”
“Alleged siege of Top Tower.” I pointed at her. “They never pinned that on us.”
“Yeah, that’s amazing. You’d think when a bunch of black capes take over Team Supreme’s headquarters for a day they might have gotten their faces on camera.”
“We had talent. Now, you must be wondering why I’m really here.”
“Right now, that’s all I’m doing.”
“Well, I’ve hit a brick wall with a case, and figure maybe you could knock it down.”
“Really?” She suddenly had half a smile. “You want me to play Kool-Aide man? For a case about a black cape? That’s kind of cool.”
“Not this time. I’m looking into Pinnacle’s absence.”
“You don’t believe the official secret mission explanation?”
I shook my head.
“Me neither.”
“So what do you think?” I asked.
“What do I think? I think I don’t like speculation. I think I don’t go on record with anything but the straight dope, that’s why my info’s the best.”
“So, what if we we’re just talking… off the record?”
Fangirl leaned forward. “Here’s the skinny, slim. I got a little nugget, and if you want it you got it, but I’ll need something in return.”
“And what would that be?”
“The siege of Top Tower. I want to know who was there, how you did it, what you got, everything.”
“No deal,” I said.
“Why?”
“Because if certain people knew you had that knowledge they’d be real interested in what kind of last words they could beat out of you before it got posted on your site, and I’ve got enough blood on my hands as it is.”
“I’m a big girl.”
I shook my head. “These people are bigger than you. And me. If I-”
“If you don’t answer I don’t answer.”
The smile slide off my chin like molasses, replaced with my patented don’t-push-me-punk face that always has the heaviest of heavies thinking twice about the next words to come out of their mouths. “You know, I could make you answer.”
“Yeah, you could I guess.” Fangirl squinted. I could tell she was doing the math in her head. “But I don’t think you’ll hit me.”
“Seems like a pretty big gamble. From this side of the table.”
“Yeah it is. But I’ll bet the bank you’re full of crap. In fact, I’m pretty sure you’re more than a little uncomfortable threatening a girl and all.” She stared right at me. “No, all I got to do is wait, you’ll blink first.”
I returned her gaze for a few seconds. Then I took a look around her shop.
“I knew it.”
“You’re too sharp by half, you know that?”
“Hey, you’re the one pulling the tough guy face five minutes too late. If you walked in here, kicked over my apple cart, and snatched me by the scruff of my neck I’d tell you anything you wanted to know. Probably even my real weight. But I crack a bat on your face and all you’ve been is shining knight chivalrous since you sat down. You’re not that hard to read.”
“So that’s that.” I grabbed my gear and stood up. “Sorry to waste your time.”
“Wait. Sit down.” She leapt to her feet. “I’m sure we can work something out.”
I was halfway to the door when I stopped. “Duchess, my day started last night and it ain’t half over yet, so start flapping your gums or I got to blow.”
“Ok, how about this: I spill what I know and if you don’t like my wares then I’ll forgo remuneration.”
My left eyebrow jumped up and said ‘yeah’, but the right one wasn’t convinced. “So, I hear a sour note and the piper plays for free?”
She nodded.
I don’t know what concerned me more, that her info was bunk and I’d have nothing to go on, or that it was great and I’d have to cough up information that might kill us both, but at this point what choice did I have? “Ok, you got yourself a deal.”
“Then take a seat Mr. Curse, and we’ll see if this yarn is good enough for the knitting.”
Chapter 6
“Ok, so Pinnacle is a sexy hero, there’s no denying it. But the thing is he’s not just sexy, he’s thee sexy. Nobody can compare, he’s the total package; the body, the face, the attitude, the intellect, the sense of right and wrong… all wrapped up in that white bread Americana that gets a girl purring. Seriously, every vibrator I own is named Pinnacle.”
“I named my pistols.”
“Not the same thing. My point is that Pinnacle worship goes way deeper than just a casual crush, every girl loves him, and yet we can’t have him. He’s the ultimate spoonful of forbidden fruit cocktail.”
“What about-”
“No.”
“I was about to say-”
“Fuck whoever you’re about to say. It’s Pinnacle. But even though we know it’ll never happen it’s alright, because how does a guy like that have sex anyway? Part of the thrill of squishing is losing control, and just giving yourself over to the lizard monkey brain that likes what it feels and wants all of it now, and if Pinnacle did that he’d crush your pelvis. I’m sure it would be worth it, but seriously, we’re talking crushed to powder here.”
I looked for a clock. “This is going somewhere, right?”
“Yep, and we’ll arrive faster without detours. Where was I?”
“Powdered pelvis.”
“Yeah. And that’s just with power in his thrusts. He could move so fast that the friction would give you two ovaries full of hardboiled eggs. The initial warmth would be nice, but…” She shuddered. “But that’s not really an impediment to the fantasy because you know he’d be so gentle and caring, and when he gave it to you rough it would be just what you needed.”
Fangirl breathed in through her nose like she was savoring wine, and sighed in a high-pitched way. Then she snapped back. “But it’ll never happen. He never has, in his long storied hi
story, been romantically linked to a single woman, and most say he never will, either because he’s married to the job or doesn’t want to make her a target. So sorry girls, the showerhead’s as close as you come. Pardon the pun. Anyway, that’s the way it is, and that’s the way it’ll stay, but see, here’s the thing, here’s the story you’re looking for: A few weeks ago, from a reliable source, I heard that the Red Wonder has, are you ready for this, he’s went and got himself a steady.” She looked very pleased with herself.
“You’re telling me Pinnacle had a girlfriend?”
“Not had, has. There’s someone he’s regularly seeing, and it’s gotten so serious that we’re talking love here. We’re talking secret marriage.” She wore a bittersweet smile and looked straight through me. “Lucky girl.”
I rolled my eyes. “Come on, a girlfriend? How would you know? Check the undercarriage of the cow you’re selling me sweetheart. I get the impression it might be bull.”
“Bull? I know bull. Bull’s my thing and I don’t smell it, but you’re right to be suspicious, I know I was. I mean who would take that story at face value and all? It has to be verified, right? So I ran it up the flagpole. I checked his regular meeting with the SPECs, and then with the fan club to see when and where his patrol sightings have changed, and it checked out. Everything I heard leads me to the conclusion that Pinnacle’s disappearance has something to do with a woman he’s seeing.”
I shook my head. “This is nonsense.”
“Dane, this is the goods. Hell, it’s the greats. I’m telling you flatfoot, it’s the God’s honest.” She sat back and folded her arms. “Now, about my payment…”
“For that? You want me to tell you a tale that, best case scenario, gets me tossed in Impenetron and your insides pulled out, for that? Let me ask you kiddo, this mystery woman got a name?”
Suddenly Fangirl found her feet real interesting. “I don’t know.”
“Oh,” I said, “Ida No. Never heard of her. She got an address? Hair color? There anything in your bag of holding that looks or sounds like something other than girls’ room gossip?”