by Lisa McKay
Jason for being gracious and transparent when I emailed him a draft of this book and admitted that I had treated him less than well.
My parents, Lloyd and Merrilyn McKay, and my siblings, Matthew McKay and Michelle Williams, for letting me share snippets of their lives and for being such important parts of mine.
Everyone else who appears in these pages. You have all touched my life deeply.
In particular, Michael Wolfe. For writing that first email and so many more since. For being such a thoughtful and caring partner. For reading every draft and for all the other ways in which you encourage me to follow my passions. For daring to tell me that the first draft was “a good start that needed a lot more work” and for spending time with our precious baby when you can so that I can have some uninterrupted writing time. Three years down the track, I would choose you again without hesitating.
From the Author
Dear reader,
Thank you so much for spending time with me by reading this book! If you enjoyed it, please consider leaving a review.
Mike and I have been married for three years now. A lot has happened during those three years – not least of which is a baby and a move. We’re currently living in Luang Prabang, Laos.
If you’d like to find out more or stop by and say hello, please visit www.lisamckaywriting.com. I would love to hear from you.
Lisa
June 2012
Reading Group Guide
Topics and questions for discussion
Home
1. Throughout the book, Lisa ponders the concept of home. What are some of the words and places she associates with home? What conclusions does she eventually come to about home?
2. Lisa and Mike write about “the internal and unwinnable war between the longing for adventure and home.” Do you feel that Adventure and Home necessarily stand in opposition to each other?
3. What do you associate with the word home? What are some of your earliest memories of home?
Travel and change
4. Lisa travels a lot. What are some of the gifts this travel gives her? What are some of the costs?
5. How have your own travels helped you see the world differently?
6. Lisa asks herself this question: “At what point does a constant stream of change blunt our ability to feel and connect to the present and to ourselves?” What do you think? What are some other things that blunt your ability to feel and connect to the present and yourself?
Alternative lives
7. How did Lisa feel about turning 30? Have you struggled with any of your birthdays? Why?
8. In Alternate Lives, Lisa says: “The basic economic principle of opportunity cost holds just as true in relation to the wealth of time as it does for money. By choosing this, I am giving up other lives – different lives that would shape a different me.” Do you daydream about an alternate life for yourself? What do your alternative lives look like?
9. In Spinsters Abroad, Lisa says: “I am starting to catch myself wondering … whether … I’ll wake up in fifteen years and still believe that it was worth it – this choice that I have made again and again throughout my twenties to pursue adventure and novelty and helping people in faraway lands rather than stability and continuity and helping people in a land I claim as mine.” Are you making a choice like this – a choice you wonder whether you’ll still believe it was worth it in the future?
Love
10. In The Shadow of the Golden Dome Lisa writes believing that love was more of a campfire than a lightening bolt. Do you believe in love at first sight?
11. In Chasing Silver Dollars, Lisa writes, “A soul mate, I believed, would meet me on a visceral, darker level. He would have an instinctive understanding, borne out of experience, of the elements that made up my own particular potpourri of angst – constant change, the guilt of privilege, too much witnessed suffering, a battle between hope and cynicism, and a search for God that wouldn’t let you rest even during times when you weren’t at all sure you believed in God. There would be the companionship of keenly felt questions.” Do you believe soul mates exist? What makes a soul mate for you?
12. Do you think that Lisa could have handled the situation with Jason and Ryan better? How? What lessons have you learned from your own misjudgments in previous relationships?
13. What are some of the benefits and pitfalls of long distance relationships?
14. In Shock and Awe In Love, Lisa asks: “Just how sure did I need to be to make a commitment of this magnitude?” What do you think? How do you know when to say yes or no in crucial moments?
Faith, hope and passion
15. In The Internal and Unwinnable War, Mike asks Lisa this question: “How have your ideas about faith changed over the past 10ish years? How have your ideas about faith expanded and contracted as you’ve come face-to-faith with tragedies of human existence and as you’ve encountered people from different cultures and worldviews and faith walks?” How did she answer it? How would you?
16. In Hope Chases Us, Lisa and Mike write to each other about hope and passion. What makes you feel hopeful? What about passionate?
A couple of extras
17. What role has reading played in Lisa’s life? What role has it played in yours?
18. What do you think about the way that Lisa handled the situation with Travis? Have you ever encountered a situation where you expect mental illness was involved? If so, how did you handle it?
19. Do fairytales exist in “real life”?
Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed this book, please consider leaving a short review.
Visit http://www.lisamckaywriting.com for more, including the free e-book 201 Great Discussion Questions for Couples in Long Distance Relationships.
Visit my blog to read more about my travels, upcoming stories, and more.