“Fine, as always. Ready for the vote. You? HuanJen?” I can feel her eyes dissecting me, hot emerald knives carving through my defenses.
“Fine. Things are very good for us, we’re ready. Still studying when I can, lots of field work. Take care, Kevin. Call us sometime, stay in touch..” Jade leaves without another word, seeing herself out. I feel angry at her and myself.
She has no idea, damn her. No idea.
Part of me wants her to, wants her to see. Wants her to know.
But I wouldn’t wish my situation on anyone, and at least she notices, at least she cares. I take some comfort in that.
November 10, 1999 AD, Xaian Standard Calendar: Jade Shalesdaughter
I point the Lakkom, hear the scream, and watch my target fall over. I whirl again, see another target in the dim light just begging for me to take out my frustrations. You know, the Lakkom may be a dangerous psychic kinetic discharge weapon, but it’s also therapeutic.
The Lakkom follows my thoughts and gestures as I aim. There’s that familiar tingle in my hand, the faint green glow in the accumulator sphere, the barely-visible ripple of force leap across the dark blade …
And hear a petulant yelp of pain. Ah, crap.
“Ahn! I’m sorry!” I look around in the near darkness of the practice room. Great, I’ve just nailed a fellow Guildsmember who was nice enough to help me check out a practice room at the Guildhall and set up my targets. Worse, I blasted Ahn, the most inoffensive guy next to my boss, just because I felt the need to blast shit and call it ‘practice.’
“I am well.” The lights come up to full, and I see Ahn standing next to the door, rubbing his right arm. He’s got the whole Tibetian-type monk look going for him - orange robe, thin, nearly shaved head. He looks so serene and peaceful and such you feel like a jerk for having bad thoughts about him. I, of course, just winged him with a kinetic discharge; nice job on my part.
“Sorry.” I slide the Lakkom into my back holster, and leap over some of the blasted wooden targets Ahn had set up and quietly moved around on me. He doesn’t even protest when I examine his arm; of course, knowing him he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. He’s always acted strange when I touched him - or when anyone touches him for that matter.
“It seems OK.” I think I just grazed him, but he always seems so light, I worry I did more damage. “Look, why don’t we go to the infirmary, just in case.”
“I shall.” He nods politely. “You did well.”
“Thanks.” That’s a compliment from him. Ahn I don’t think is even my age, but he was raised in a religious order like HuanJen, and the guy knows a lot of strange occult stuff. Besides, getting that many words out of him in one shot is unusual.
The infirmary is near the practice rooms, so its not a long trip. I had never thought of guild Esoteric as having some kind of combat training rooms, but I learned pretty quickly they were necessary. Testing things like the Lakkom, HuanJen or Ahn’s transportive powers, spiritual duels -its amazing how much of the Guildhall is constructed of reinforced concrete and stronger, stranger stuff.
I drop Ahn off in the hands of Dr. Mirabelle, try to thank him as well as I can when the long-gom-pa runner barely uses sentences, and go off to check the mail. Enough Lakkom for today, especially in my mood. Maybe Slate and Lore are right about golf.
OK, that’s going to far.
“Jade?” I find myself looking Kevin Anderson straight in the neck. Gods, he is pale.
“Blowing off steam?” he asks. He seems calmer than usual.
I nod, then shrug. “Yeah. I mean, it’s only been a few hours, but … I was for it, but those speeches drove me nuts. I told HuanJen to go on without me, I needed to just blast things.”
“I understand.” He falls in step next to me. “We’re going to merge some of our services with Guild Medical. It just … happened.”
“Lots of things do.” I don’t know what to say.
Kevin nods in a clink of hair-tied talismans. “Yes. Things are changing so quickly, Jade. I already hear the vote on the Communications Guild being forced public will be delayed. Changes.”
“I know.” I pat him on the shoulder. He doesn’t turn away. This is weird indeed - I know he’s been avoiding me, its why I’ve been pestering him. Now he’s back to the way he used to be, or close enough.
“Immigration. Politics. Everything.” Kevin sighs. “Will you two be OK, you and HuanJen? I still worry. I know he makes a lot off of his medical service.”
“Yeah.” I try to think of how to put this. “We’ve got plans. Clairice is tight with Guild Medical, she’s already given us some advice. She’s not a bad person.”
“I … never said she was.”
“Nevermind.” I catch myself. Damn I can be a bitch at times. However, Clairice needs help and damn it I’m going to give it and not gripe at her about altering my lifestyle. I’m Guild Esoteric, its what we do, and damn it I’m going to do it.
“I’m sorry she can’t move in with me,” Kevin begins nervously.
“Eh, she wouldn’t really want to according to HuanJen. hey, you got enough to deal with anyway.”
You can see him tense up. I did it again. Kevin is a real emotional minefield the last few weeks. OK, I’ve been trying to sprint across it, but still.
“I am fine.” Yes, that’s the Kevin I’m used to lately, suddenly as short-sentenced as Ahn.
“I know.” We round the corner to the postal area, that huge maze of brass-lid boxes for Guild Esoteric maildrop. With my luck, I’ll probably be back seeing Ahn; HuanJen is always getting some of his guild mail. At least I should have a letter from Verrigent to cheer me up.
“You …” Kevin begins. I can hear his voice taking on a fake conversational tone. Whatever is wrong is still there.
“You aren’t yourself Kevin, OK?” I stop for a moment, grab him by the arm, and drag him down the hallway behind the mailboxes. Its a maintenance hall, usually used by the cleaning staff and young couples who forget how often the cleaning staff comes around. We damn well better not be mistaken for the latter, I know how gossip travels in Metris; it makes that whole speed-of-light thing look tame.
“Jade …”
“Look.” I point at him, probably looking as bad as Sister Cynthia in teacher mode. “Kevin, you’re not doing well. Now HuanJen may have backed off while you deal with Green’s death, but he’s pretty damn busy. I know I’ve been, there with him. You aren’t well.”
“No I’m not.” He hisses. I can see anger in his eyes and its not like anything I’ve seen from him before. “You don’t understand. Jade, stop trying to be the Perfect Apprentice. You can’t be, trust me. I’m having a bad time, and you would too if HuanJen died and you had to watch people sort through his possessions while you take over his job.”
Blackness passes over my eyes for a moment. What do I say to that? What the hell do you say?
“Sorry,” I manage to get out finally. It doesn’t sound like much.
“Jade …” Kevin is suddenly friendly-Kevin again. He smiles, then hugs me. “Jade, we’re all frustrated.”
“Tell me about it. I’m not sure I’m doing anything right, on all fronts.”
“OK. I’m not frustrated in all the same ways” He finally smiles, his old smile, all teeth and sparkling eyes. “Trust me. I just need to get my feet on the ground, adjust, calm a few critics who think I’m not up to replacing Green.”
I can feel he’s not saying everything. He’s a terrible liar, but he can get away with it since he’s so inoffensive. Well, get away with it with most people.
Not me, I can handicraft the finest lies, but this time, sadly, he’s gonna get away with it with me. I have problems of my own.
“OK. But if you …”
“I’ll call you if I need anything, Jade. You’ve offered enough.”
I’m going to let him get away with it. I’m going to let him walk off again, and take whatever’s wrong with him …
November 12, 2000 AD, Xaian Standard Calend
ar: Kevin Anderson
Its about time I just did it for Jade.
She’s been nice to me. HuanJen backed off when I asked, but she didn’t, and she’s been nice about it. I probably would have given her a lot of trouble had she acted any differently. Funny, I thought she was a complete bitch when I first met her, but she turned out to be otherwise. She’s certainly been good for HuanJen.
I hope she’s good to me.
The Crosspoint is quiet as I enter. It’s always quiet. It’s a little world unto itself where the residents maintain the building and provide the services you’d normally hire a staff for. Its always peaceful, almost eerily so, ten stories of its own world.
As I ride the elevator up, I’m getting nervous. Maybe I shouldn’t talk to her, maybe I should talk to HuanJen. Of course, talking to HuanJen is talking to someone in a different position. Jade’s an apprentice, she’d understand.
Besides, HuanJen would know. I don’t want that. If he gets any ideas it’d be like trying to stop an avalanche or dam the ocean. I don’t need him intervening right now - and he can intervene in ways that don’t look like he’s doing it until you figure it out too late.
The door to her apartment flies open before my second knock. Jade looks disheveled, almost manic, but she’s smiling.
“Hey!” She grins. “Sorry, hectic day. HuanJen’s out on the job, and I’m brewing away. Folks are stocking up before the merge goes through. How are you?”
I try to begin. Finally, when she’s looking at me wondering if I’m ever going to say anything, I manage to. “I’m sorry to bother you, but … look, I’ve been a real … dick. Jade, I wanted to apologize.”
Jade fixes me with a strange look, then nods. “It’s OK. Green, taking over, no real investiture …”
“It’s not that. Look, Jade, I know you’re only into this two months, but I’m losing it. I’m just … I’m not doing well as a shaman. I’m distracted, I’m tired, I’ve got a bunch of people watching me wondering if I can even come close to being like Green. I don’t know if you can understand, but sometimes you loose yourself.”
The voices of the spirits are almost quiet as I say it, even in the silence that follows. I’m powered by hope and Greens herbal brews right now.
Jade nods, then smiles. She has a pretty smile. “I know. I think I understand. A lot of pressure. Trying to get it all right.”
“You got it.”
“Me too.” Jade crosses her arms. “You know, I’m just trying to make it work.”
“Not just your apprenticeship.” I feel a twinge of sympathy. Sometimes I forget Jade really has two relationships here while I haven’t had a date in two years.
“No, long story. Trying to do my best.”
I won’t press her. I know her. “I’m sorry I was such an ass. Look, I may need help if things don’t get better, but I won’t unless its OK with you. OK, Jade?”
“Sure.” She hugs me. She hugs a lot more than she did when I first met her. I admit I like it, she’s got a kind of solid, grounded feel. Still, she’s all knotted up right now.
“Long day? You feel tense.” I shrug. “Job getting to you too, or …”
“Clairice.”
Jade releases the embrace and sits on the arm of the living room couch. “Its a lot of stuff, I do feel bad for her. You know, I found that apartment she lost was her first since she came here. That’s got to suck.”
“So does having her here.” I smile a bit. “I’ve seen you with HuanJen, I can tell you two want privacy.”
“Well, we do a lot in the field, he teaches me a lot. We have time together.”
“But not privately.”
“No.” Jade grimaces. ” But you’ll understand if I don’t come to you for help with that problem.”
“Oh, I understand completely … “
November 14, 2000 AD, Xaian Standard Calendar: Jade Shalesdaughter.
I know he’s not quite my problem, but …
I look down at my coffee. I’ve found a little place that serves killer coffee and suspiciously low prices on Glickman. I treat myself to one now and then, sip it while walking around the Zone or on the way to an assignment. I’m usually so wired it blows studying for a few hours, but I’m tired of studying as of late anyway; it’s all words unless HuanJen is there, it seems.
There’s not much to do lately either. HuanJen’s not here, and … I think. I want to do something, I’m finally understanding HuanJen’s not any kind of workaholic at all. He just does things. A lot of things.
Me, I’m thinking. Kevin. He’s got problems. He wants to show he can do the job. I understand that, I keep feeling like I’m almost grasping all this, grasping my relationship, and I just can’t.
Fine, lets wait and see if there’s a chance. After all, HuanJen and I often run into weird supernatural shit. Or, more likely, it visits.
Heh. Doing by not doing, I remember when I gave HuanJen business over that when we dealt with Killian. Now I’m doing it.
Maybe … there’s a flash, and it passed. I dunno.
Maybe I’m doing a good job. At least I’m doing something.
November 17, 2000 AD, Xaian Standard Calendar: Kevin Anderson
“Kevin!”
I have the phone to my ear. I knew I picked it up, but I can’t remember when I did. I laid down to read in my old bedroom, and … oh.
“Yeah, Jade?” The voice is familiar. Vaguely. Of course I barely remember who I am at this point.
“I have a proposition for you, I think I can help. Come to our apartment immediately, and get ready to get supernatural. I think this’ll help folks take you seriously, and I’m not sure HuanJen and Rake are up to it.”
I’m out of bed and dressing in shaman’s motley before I realize it’s the evening. I really must have been asleep a long time. When I rest, it always seems to turn into sleep.
I catch a trolley to HuanJen’s place when I find that one’s pulled up near by. I’m glad, I’m anxious, and I’d rather not be walking around at night with my mind in a whirl.
Jade’s got quite a mind, she may just have something, maybe it won’t deal with all my problems but maybe it’ll get people off of my back. I trust her.
My spirit staff seems to twist in my hands. With no pressure, time, to reconnect to my allies, my gods, I can end this. Show people once and for all and not worry about how they see me.
When I get to HuanJen and Jade’s apartment, I’m ushered in by some red-furred Vulpine woman. The apartment has more people in it than I’d ever seen. Richard Nax is sitting on the sofa with yet another Vulpine, a big, gray-furred male whom Jade is fussing over. HuanJen and Rake are talking to each other animatedly. Lorne what’s-his-name, the policeman, is passing out drinks to everyone. I don’t recognize the rest.
“What happened?”
“The Nax went critical,” the short vulpine woman says, extending a hand. “I’m Garnet, that’s my boyfriend Slate on the couch …”
“Doing fine,” Slate mutters. Jade appears to be looking at a large, awkward bandage on his shoulder.
“More than critical.” Richard Nax, that great hulking mass of a barowner, looks deflated. He looks smaller. Hell, even his mustache looks limp.
“Oh, no …” I begin. I know what happened.
“Ah, yes.” Rake nods to me. “You want to explain, ah, Richard, ah, about your redecorations?”
“I just thought it would improve the atmosphere.”
HuanJen shakes his head. “I’ve told you that place needed clearing out, and redecorating on the Week of the Dead, with the items you found, was not wise. Do you know what the Feng Shui in that place is like?”
Richard gives HuanJen a momentarily bitter look that quickly turns into guilt. “It was just a painting and a few other items.”
“The, ah, Blood Altar of, ah, The Final Seal?” Rake crosses his arms. “The, ah, dagger from, ah, the picture? Part of a, ah, collection?”
“It was a bargain.”
“You had Marianne pu
t things up?” HuanJen asked. “At that time of the month?”
“Well …”
HuanJen draws himself to his full height. “Richard, your bar was a witches-brew of paranormal potential, no disrespect meant by the term ‘witch’. Something would go critical eventually. You’re fortunate we’d rescheduled the usual Tuesday get-together. Did you see that poltergeist-style activity? “
“I did,” Slate and Jade say simultaneously. Lore signs for a moment. I notice a large bruise on his forehead, almost concealed by his blond hair.
“You had a full building manifestation?” I manage to ask. Now I understand; Richard’s famous-yet-obscure bar, built on questionable territory, home of strange activity, just went critically haunted. Funny, we used to take bets on this a few years ago in the Maze, when it’d have a major spiritual crisis, but nothing happened.
“Yes.” Richard nods. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry I ruined your evening everyone, ruined it for the customers. Gods, I’m going to have to explain this to the Gendarmes and Guild Esoteric.”
“It should at least be sealed off by now.” Lorne spins a kitchen chair around and sits, glaring at Richard.
“Now it’s time to make plans., Jade finishes with Slate’s bandage. “OK, occult guys, go for it.”
“This is going to cost me.” Mr. Nax looks from HuanJen to Rake, to me. I raise an eyebrow, and try not to smile at Jade.
Lets see people like Harkness and the rest tell me I can’t do my job after this. Cleansing the Nax. That’ll get some attention. That’ll give me some focus.
“I think the three of us can handle it. Kevin, are you up for it?” HuanJen, always careful, but now a bit annoying. Of course I can.
“No problem.” I remain calm. “I figured some of us would take care of it one day.”
Richard just groans. I can practically see him doing the accounting in his head on what this is going to cost him. He should probably give his regulars some confidence, I’m sure Rake and HuanJen would charge guild minimum, but considering Nax’s infamous decorating style of “I’ll-use-it-if-it-looks-supernatural” I wouldn’t blame them for going maximum.
Me, I don’t care. I’d pay money to help. This is what I’ve been waiting for.
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