by Stacey Lynn
He smiled down on me adoringly. I loved it. “Hey there, Emma. You staying tonight?”
“No sir, Mr. Crawlson. I’m on my way out right now.”
“How many times have I asked you to call me Martin?” He scolded me teasingly.
I smiled cheekily, being around Martin having temporarily erased all the tension. “About as many times as I’ve called you Mr. Crawlson.”
He threw his head back into a full stomach laugh. “Touché.” He grinned at Jack. “She’s smart, don’t let her go.”
“I don’t plan on it.” He smiled at Martin and gestured with his arm for Martin to head into the living room. Leaving the two of us alone for one last minute.
I leaned up and kissed him chastely on the cheek in the doorway. His hands gently cupped my face, holding me stil while he returned the kiss equally soft. He leaned his head against mine and firmly whispered, “Tomorrow.”
I simply nodded in understanding. “Good night, Jack.”
My legs shook while I walked to the train. Who was I kidding? My entire body was shaking from nerves and shock and anger. I wasn’t stupid enough to think I could escape Marcus forever, but that was not how I had ever envisioned seeing him.
I picked up the phone to call Macy and cancel my plans for the night. I just wanted to go home and curl up with Logan in my lap and hold him because I knew, now that Marcus was around, he would want to know what I decided.
“Hey you!” she chirped happily into the phone. The tears I had been holding in suddenly overflowed into one gigantic sob as I waited on the train platform. Thank goodness I lived in a large city full of people used to seeing strange things. No one gave me a second look as I melted down right in front of their eyes. I didn’t bother hiding my tears.
“Oh shit. What’s wrong?” Macy’s happy voice dropped to just above a whisper. I heard her shush Tate in the background. I stood quietly for several minutes while my mind flipped through the images of earlier. Marcus standing in Jack’s doorway with a look of shock at seeing me again. His blonde hair and blue eyes made him just as handsome as he had always been, if not slightly better looking now that he had aged some. The immediate tension between him and Jack and Jack’s welcome possessiveness of me. The complete and utter shock I felt as I saw him notice me. Shit.
“Marcus.” I coughed out his name and finally wiped a tear away. Macy was silent on the other end of the phone and I could picture her face one of confusion. I took a deep breath. “He’s a new lawyer at McMillan Holdings. Jack brought him on, one reason being his family connections. He showed up at the dinner tonight.” Right after I had Jack’s cock deep in my throat. I didn’t think Macy needed to know that part. But the very memory sent shivers through me at how happy I had been up until the moment I opened his door.
“Shit.”
“Yeah. Pretty much. Listen, I’m going to cancel tonight. I just want to go home and hug Logan and forget this happened and figure out what I’m going to do when I see him again.”
“You think you will? See Marcus again?”
I snorted. “You’ll probably see him before I do since you work in the building.”
Macy sighed heavily. She was my best friend in college. She knew all about Marcus and his dad and the day Marcus Whitmore the Second showed up at my apartment paying me twenty five thousand dollars to ‘fix my mistake’ as he so eloquently put it. Apparently, it wasn’t kosher to be a Senator basing his campaign on conservative family values only to have his son knock up his girlfriend. Offering to get rid of the baby, on the other hand, was totally acceptable. I shuddered at the memory and felt like running to the bathroom to throw up.
“Listen, I’m just not in the mood to party tonight. I’m going to go home and hang out with Logan and try to figure out what in the hell I’m supposed to do now.” Like look up plane tickets to Bora Bora.
“Do you want me to ditch Tate and Dean and come hang out? I can bring wine and ice cream.”
The wine did sound like a good idea. A case of it. I shook my head and realized she couldn’t see me.
“That’s okay, Mace. You go out and have fun. I just need to be alone tonight.”
I knew she didn’t want me to be alone. She had seen me alone after the whole ordeal and watched me struggle to climb out of my insane misery. Fortunately for me, she was a good enough friend to know I meant what I said and she quietly agreed.
I clicked off my phone just as the sound of the ‘L’ came rushing toward the stop.
TWELVE
After sending Penny home early, Logan and I played way too many games of UNO and I let him stay up much later than normal while I simply stared at him. I lost every game of cards and didn’t pay a single bit of attention to the movie we watched, or the popcorn and ice cream he ate. Instead, I sat back and drank in every single small detail of my beautiful son. Marcus’ son. Their features were undeniably similar with the same curly blond hair and light blue eyes. Even their face shape was similar and even though Logan had never seen his dad, they shared so many similar mannerisms that it sometimes made me catch my breath.
After I read him more books than he requested, I finally put Logan to bed two hours later than normal.
I grabbed a bottle of wine from the fridge and took a swig straight from the bottle – classy girl that I was. I sat alone in my living room, drinking my wine with only one lamp lit for light, and remembered.
I wiped a tear from my eye and nervously held up the test in my hand.
Marcus’s eyes widened in shock instantly. “Oh.”
“Yeah…..” my voice trailed off because I didn’t know what to say. I had found out three days before, and waited for the right time to tell Marcus that I was pregnant. We finished our last midterm on Thursday night and I figured now that they were over, and Marcus wasn’t stressed from studying this would be a good night. I still felt incredibly stupid I didn’t remember that the antibiotics I had taken for my sinus infection would affect my birth control pills. I was terrified of being twenty-two years old and pregnant. Terrified I would lose the man in front of me who I loved so much. I held my breath waiting for him to answer. I half-expected him to be just as terrified as me and take off running. I wouldn’t blame him, I guess. His dad was going to freak out when he found out his son got his girlfriend knocked up. He never thought I was good enough to be involved with a Whitmore…this would be icing on the cake.
I didn’t expect a small smile to form on Marcus’ lips and then increase until it was so large that it spread from cheek to cheek. He slowly stood up from the table across from me and came around the table, kneeling before me.
“Let’s go to Vegas, baby.”
My jaw dropped. “We can’t go to Vegas, we have school.”
“Let’s go get married. We’ll be a family just like we want, it’s just happening sooner than we expected.”
I squeezed his hand and laughed nervously. “You can’t be serious. We have school….and your dad….”
His smile turned into a serious expression. “Screw my dad, Emma. I’m going to be a dad…and I want to do it right.”
I shook my head again, trying to clear the fogginess in front of me. He couldn’t be serious. Was he? I closed my eyes tightly. This must be a dream. I was simply dreaming of Marcus being on his knee in front of me telling me he wanted to marry me.
When I opened them, I blinked a few times, shocked Marcus was still on his knees. He looked worried and happy at the same time if that was even possible.
“You can’t marry me just because I’m pregnant.”
One side of his lips twisted up into a playful smile. “No, but I can marry you because I love you and want to be with you forever, now I just don’t have to wait any longer.”
I thought of how much I loved Marcus. We had dated for two years already, meeting during our second year of college and instantly became fast friends. That friendship changed at a Halloween party and we began dating after I lost a bet during a game of beer pong and had to go on one date
with him. One date changed to two….and soon we were a couple. I loved him. He loved my parents and they loved him. And he loved me. And instead of running, or being angry, he was on his knees in front of me, asking me to rush off to Vegas to get married. It was romantic. I couldn’t say no.
Tears pricked the corners of my eyes. I smiled and nodded, not trusting myself to speak.
I threw my arms around him and we fell back to the floor as I fell on Marcus and tipped him off balance.
He moved his hands to my cheeks, holding my face so I was just a few inches from him and smiled at me, happily. “I love you Emma. Marry me.”
“Okay, Marcus. I’ll marry you.”
He pulled me down close to him and my lips touched his. Our kiss was soft and gentle, but soon I felt the familiar stirring in my belly as we moved together on my kitchen floor.
“Damn it!” I shouted and jumped up from my chair. I paced around my small living room feeling like a caged lion, upset at myself for remembering. I didn’t want to remember how much I loved Marcus or how wonderful he had been. He left me and allowed his dad to pay me off and I never heard from him again.
I balled my hands into fists as my blood began to boil inside me. Anger was good. I could handle anger; I needed to be angry with him still. I needed to forget.
I jumped at the shrill sound of my cell phone ringing and ran to pick it up. It was Jack. For a second, I thought about ignoring it but I figured he’d probably stalk over here in the middle of the night and show up pounding on my door like he did last week. Best to avoid that again.
“Hey Jack.” My words came out slurred and I looked at the wine bottle. It was almost empty. No wonder why I suddenly felt so dizzy.
“Are you drunk, Emma?” He sounded pissed. Just what I needed on top of everything else.
“Probably a little. What do you want, Jack? I said we’d talk tomorrow.” I didn’t mean to sound bitchy, but I was exhausted and all of a sudden my bed felt like a really good place to be.
“I need to see you. Can I come over?” His voice sounded softer. Maybe he wasn’t pissed after all. Maybe, he was just worried about me. It was sweet; him needing me, since I knew Jack needed no one. It made me feel safe and protected. I desperately needed to feel safe.
“Sure…” Before I finished my sentence, I heard a quiet knocking on my door. “Are you at my door?” I didn’t bother trying to hide the smile, even though he couldn’t see it.
“Answer your door, babe.” He hung up, chuckling softly.
Jack looked like shit and I frowned when I saw him. He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, that fit perfectly, but his eyes were tired and there were lines of stress around his eyes and his forehead that weren’t there when I left him several hours ago. His hair was sticking up in all sorts of directions.
Before I could even ask him why, his strong arms picked me up and held me in his arms. I relaxed immediately, wondering how could he make me feel so safe and calm when just a few minutes before I had felt like scratching all the walls like a wild animal. But he did that to me, and I liked it. I needed it.
He buried his head in between my neck and shoulder, kicked the door closed with one foot, and carried me to the couch without saying a word. I just breathed him in because he smelled so good and I needed him as close as possible. Who knew what he would do once he found out my news.
Once he had me curled up like a little doll in his lap with my arms still wrapped tightly around his neck, he slowly brushed my hair out of my face. His eyes were softer, more caring than I had ever seen them.
It suddenly hit me – Jack cared about me. I wasn’t just sex or a fling or an employee to him. He really had been telling me the truth that he cared about me and wanted me. I could see it in the depth of his brown eyes as he stared straight into mine. His were filled with worry and fear and I wanted to ease all of his concerns, but I knew that I was just about to add to them.
“Are you okay?” he asked me slowly.
I shook my head. Realizing that Jack truly cared about me was shocking enough on its own accord. I tried to bury my head into his chest to feel safe again because him just asking that question reminded me of all the things I wanted to forget. I didn’t want to talk about this now. Actually I didn’t want to talk about it ever, but I knew I was going to have to.
The hand that was holding my hair cupped my cheek and pulled me back so I had to look directly at him. “Does Marcus know about Logan?”
My eyes widened in shock. My entire body felt like it was being shocked a thousand lightning bolts and my stomach flip-flopped making me feel nauseous.
“What? How did you know?” I asked breathlessly.
Jack frowned. “It took me awhile. I talked to him over dinner and watched him, trying to figure out why he would upset you so much. The entire time thinking he looked so vaguely familiar. After dinner, Martin said something about you working for me and he did this little twitching thing with his nose. It reminded me exactly of what Logan does when we play video games. He’s Logan’s dad, isn’t he?”
I let out the deepest breath I have ever breathed in my entire life. It wasn’t out of relief, either. I removed my arms from around Jack and wiggled out of his arms and off his lap. My body felt all sorts of itchy as I began pacing my room, knowing I was going to have to explain this.
I took another swig from the wine bottle and forcefully set it back down on the table. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.
“Fuck…you need to start talking because my mind is spinning in a thousand directions and all I want to do is go kick Marcus’s ass right now for putting this look of fear on you.”
When I turned to him, he had his elbows resting on his knees but he looked anything but relaxed. His hands were tightened into fists and I could feel the anger rolling off him. I had no doubt he meant every word; consequences be damned.
I ran a shaking hand through my long hair. “Yes, Marcus is Logan’s dad. And no – neither of them know.”
I felt like I should feel relieved. In all the years I worked for Jack the subject of Logan’s dad came up periodically, but all I ever told Jack was that his dad left when I was pregnant. Which was true obviously, but there was so much more to the story and now it was all going to come out. I wanted to feel the weight lifted off my shoulders from hiding something from him, but instead the weight just felt like it was crushing my chest making it hard to breathe.
Jack hissed in a deep breath, his already stressed eyes flashing in anger.
“There’s more,” I said and sat down on a chair across from Jack, putting as much distant in between us as possible. I rubbed my hands together to make them stop trembling like I had just chugged a pot of coffee but it was no use. I nervously ran my fingers through my hair, before forcing my hands to settle in my lap. Jack’s eyes never left mine. He sat there, just watching me – waiting for me to tell him the story.
“Marcus and I dated for two years before I got pregnant. When I finally told him, he asked me to marry him.”
Jack’s head collapsed into his hands and he rubbed his hair roughly, making it look even more crazy. He muttered an entire string of obscenities so vile it would make a sailor blush. He looked at me, finally, with his lips pursed into a straight white line. “Did you love him?”
I nodded hesitantly.
“Do you still….love him?” He choked out the question as if it brought him physical pain. Hearing the question made me want to throw up all over again.
“God no! Marcus must have told his dad about us, because the night we were supposed to leave for Vegas, Senator Whitmore showed up at my apartment that I shared with Macy at the time. He handed me an envelope filled with cash.” I looked away and felt the tears burning the back of my eyes at the memory of the Senator’s icy black eyes. He looked at me like I was nothing more than the dirt on the bottom of his shoe and treated me so much worse. “He paid me twenty-five thousand dollars to get an abortion and told me Marcus didn’t want to see me anymore.”
> “Holy fuck. You’re kidding me.” I thought Jack’s head might explode from the news.
I shook my head. “I’m not. I didn’t do it obviously…..but it wrecked me for a long time, that he just walked away when he promised me so much.” I looked at Jack’s eyes and wondered what he would think of me for the next part. “I kept the money. For a while I thought of burning it, or returning it. But I was so angry that I decided to say ‘screw ‘em.’ They could afford it and I needed it. I got so sick with morning sickness that I could barely go to school and eventually I dropped out. That was when Macy finally talked to you about me.”
“That was a lot of money – you didn’t need to come work for me then. Why did you?”
“I put the money in an account and refused to touch it unless it was an emergency. I figured it would at least pay for Logan’s school down the road or something, but there wasn’t any way in hell I was going to use their money for me.”
We sat there quietly for several minutes not saying anything, but my mind was spinning from finally telling Jack about Marcus, and wondering what he thought of me.
Jack finally spoke first. “That explains a lot. Actually.”
“What do you mean?”
He shook his head like he was trying to clear it of something. “Marcus isn’t close to his dad anymore. He said he has nothing to do with him and hasn’t spoken to him in years. It just makes me wonder if it’s all connected.”
“But you said you wanted his connection to politics – last week, when you told me about the new lawyer you brought on.”
He nodded and smiled lightly. “I do….but Marcus has made a name for himself on his own merit. I don’t need the connection to the Senator, necessarily. The name on its own is powerful enough.” He stared at me with hauntingly dark eyes and I knew he was angry all over again. “And I wouldn’t want to be connected to him now after hearing all that shit. Jesus, Emma – he treated you like ---“