After work I was still not ready to face going home. I still had no idea of what I was going to say. So instead I went for a walk that led me to the docks and the small white boat Blake and I had gone to Tinkers Island in just a few days ago. I stepped in, and the boat rocked right and left under my weight, and I wished Blake were there to balance me. I grabbed the two oars and began to sweep myself out over the ocean. The afternoon sun was straight above me, and it only took a few minutes until I was dripping in sweat. Turning my head, I looked to see how far I was from the other shoreline. It still looked far enough to be a daunting task, but desperation pushed me onward. I wanted so badly to get to the place Blake and I had been the other night, to help me feel close to him again.
A few minutes later, I had to let go of the oars and let my burning arms rest. I wondered how Blake had made it all the way over without stopping and breathing heavy like I was just then. Just thinking of him sent fresh determination pulsing through my veins. I picked the oars up and began to paddle harder, faster. This would be so much easier if I had just learned how to fly, I thought to myself. I would have been there twenty minutes ago.
As I got closer to the beach, my heart began to ache. It took just about all of my remaining strength to pull the boat up onto the shore, enough so it would not get swept back into the ocean. After taking my shoes off, I walked along the beach until I came upon the wall of rocks. Without Blake’s help, I was relegated to crawling in order to ensure that I wouldn’t fall and break something. When I reached the bench, I collapsed down onto it, breathing heavily for a moment and feeling as though I had just completed a triathlon. The physical and emotional exhaustion, coupled with not sleeping the night before, put me right to sleep.
I dreamt of Blake, a quiet dream where we didn’t talk. It was just the two of us, sitting next to each other in the very spot I was sleeping. We smiled occasionally at one another and looked happy, fulfilled, even, like we didn’t have a care in the world: no sadness, no fear, no pain.
I woke up crying again, and the streaming tears burnt my already red and swollen eyes. I told myself it would just be temporary, that I would see him again and then nothing would ever keep us apart. Sitting up, I peeled my drenched shirt away from my burning hot skin. My hair was plastered to the left side of my face and the nape of my neck.
Eventually, I made it back to the beach, and I scooped up some water, rubbing it up and down my arms and around my neck, trying to rinse off the sweat. Then I pushed the boat off the sandy bank and jumped into it just when it was floating on enough water, mimicking what I saw Blake do.
I knew that Aunt Rose and Jack were probably already home, wondering where on earth I was. Guilt filled me, but I still couldn’t find it within me to face them. My selfish demeanor shocked me. How could I do this to them?
After yet more difficult rowing, finally the boat smashed into the wooden dock. I jumped onto it, not even bothering to tie the boat off, knowing it would be gone in the currents in no time, but I didn’t care. I found myself running as fast as I could back to town. But I was not running to my house, I was running to the Harper Estate. I had to see they were gone with my own eyes. My head already knew the truth, but my heart was telling me to prove it. I hated when my heart and head disagreed; it only made it that much harder to deal with things.
By the time I got to Estate Lane, my lungs were on fire. I bent over and rested my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath. When my breathing began to even out, I continued on. The Harper Estate had changed so much since the first time I’d come there. From the outside, the large stone home was still as beautiful and peaceful as I remembered it. They had done wonders in restoring it, restoring it back to their home from their time. But as I walked up the stone circular drive, my heart began to ache. I was sure that the inside was going to be different ... the house would be empty. It was as if I could hear the emptiness, echoing throughout the house. This time Blake would not be on the other side of the door with a smiling face and open arms to welcome me.
Maybe it was too soon; maybe I was not ready for this. For a long minute, I hesitated as to what I should do. Taking a deep breath, I pushed all thoughts away and focused on turning the large gold knob. There was no use in knocking; I knew all too well that no one was home. The desolation was spilling out of every crack and crevice of the old house.
Gone were the books that lined the floor to ceiling bookshelves, as were the paintings that Blake had painted over the summer. A small smile broke across my face as I visualized Abby reading a disappearing spell in order to erase any evidence of their lives there in that time. I walked down the long hallway and stood in the kitchen, seeing nothing but a small stack of books lying on the island: Beginners Guide to Witchcraft and Abby’s personal spell book! I was shocked that she had left it. She had said that she never went anywhere without it. I opened it up and read the words she left for me:
Dear Meredith,
I leave these for you to practice becoming a strong and wise witch. Don’t give up on your destiny, and don’t give up on us. We will see each other again, one day.
Love,
Abby
I sighed, fighting off the tears, gripping the books close to my chest. I walked through the rest of the house, finding one empty room after the next. I left Blake’s room for last, knowing it would be the most difficult. As I sat on the foot of his bed, I noticed an envelope lying on his pillow with my name on it.
Meredith,
I am hoping this letter will find you. I am sure your heart is breaking, and I will never be able to explain to you how sorry I am for that. When we came here to this time, I was not expecting this. It was for your safety that I came here and for your safety that I left. You must know that leaving you was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. We will meet again.
Forever and always,
Blake
That was it. There was no way to hold back the tears any longer. I curled up on his bed, burying my head in his pillow and breathing in the scent that he had left behind. The tears I cried were not tears of sadness, but tears of joy. The letter had helped me feel close to him again; being in his room and reading the letter had made me feel like what we had was real. He loved me, and he was hurting, too. Somewhere in some other time and place, he was missing me. It was horrible to admit to myself that him hurting was a positive thing, but in some twisted way, it gave me comfort. For a few hours, I stayed curled up on his bed, thinking about the time we had spent together, hoping that he would keep his promise and we would see each other again.
When I got back to my house, I was exhausted from emotional day and the trip out to Tinkers Island. My body felt like it was going to collapse at any moment. Just as I was turning my key in the lock on the door, the porch light came on and Jack flung open the door.
“Meredith!” Jack screamed. “Where have you been?” He gave me a once-over.
I stood silent, not sure what to say. At that point, I had no energy left and too little brainpower to think of a good enough lie. I just stood there in the doorway and closed my eyes. I was about to collapse when Jack grabbed me. As he carried me inside, I glanced around the room, seeing Aunt Rose coming out of the kitchen, holding a phone up to her ear.
“Oh!” Aunt Rose shrieked. “Get her in here right now. Lay her on the couch,” she shouted to Jack. “She just got home … thank you, officer.”
I really could not deal with this just then. Even though I was barely conscious, I could tell by the panic in my aunt’s voice that I looked pretty bad. The moment Jack laid me down, I sat back up and opened my eyes, trying to show them I was not as bad off as I seemed.
“What happened to you, Meredith?” Aunt Rose asked, shaking her head in disbelief. “We have been worried sick about you! Where have you been? Are you okay?”
She kept firing question after question until Jack finally cut in. “Rose, let the girl relax. She looks like she has been through enough already.” His voice was stern.
“No, don’t worry. I am fi—”
“Please don’t tell me that you were about to say you are fine,” Aunt Rose interrupted me.
“Please stop,” I begged. “I-I slipped and fell, no big deal.”
“It’s two o’clock in the morning. You expect me to believe that you slipped and fell and it took you all this time to get home? You had us both so worried I couldn’t think straight the last few hours,” Aunt Rose said, panic filling each word. “Does this have anything to do with Blake? Do I need to call his parents?”
Just hearing his name crushed my already wounded heart. I didn’t respond.
“We are just glad that you are all right. Are you hurt, or did someone hurt you?” Jack asked.
Did anyone hurt me? How was I supposed to answer that question? Yes, the love of my life—who just so happens to be my protector—had hurt me by leaving to travel back in time to keep me safe. And I can’t forget about Abby, Annette, and Samuel. Hurt didn’t quite do my feelings justice.
“I’m sorry you all had to come home from your honeymoon like this. Really, it won’t happen again, promise,” I said, exhausted. “By the way, how was the honeymoon?”
I heard Aunt Rose scoff in frustration. Apparently, I had done it this time. I had never seen her that distraught before.
“Let the girl get some rest, and we can finish talking in the morning,” Jack said, looking at Aunt Rose.
I hated that I was causing all this drama. Aunt Rose and Jack had just gotten married; this was the last thing they needed to deal with. And the last thing I wanted was to cause them any pain or give them any reason to argue with each other. This was my problem, my battle. But I was thankful that Jack had stepped in. The thing I needed most just then was some sleep. It was clear that my brain needed some time to think in order to get myself out of this mess. I began to sit up from the couch, and Jack reached out his hand to help.
“Thanks,” I croaked, my voice was still hoarse from crying.
I gave Aunt Rose a hug and told her that I would see her in the morning. It was clear that she was not satisfied with my answers and that she would have a lot more questions for me then. I dragged my tired body upstairs and went immediately to the bathroom to shower off the tears and sweat from the day. When I looked in the mirror, it was clear why Aunt Rose and Jack had reacted the way they did. I looked awful. My hair was a rat’s nest, my eyes were puffy, and my cheeks were a glowing red from wiping away tears. I got in the shower and showered slowly, trying not to think about anything but the hot water running over my body. The warm water stung my raw cheeks, but the pain was a welcome distraction. After drying off, I threw on an oversized T-shirt, hopped into bed, and buried myself under the covers.
My alarm clock rang, and I fumbled around trying to shut it off. I lay there and tried to process the last few days. Aunt Rose and Uncle Jack were probably already up and discussing the millions of questions to ask me at breakfast. There was not a doubt in my mind that I had failed miserably at hiding my crying last night; even stuffing my head into my pillow couldn’t have muffled the sobs. I had to be prepared to answer questions and to come up with a good story for why the Harpers had had to leave town so suddenly, should their name come up. Which I’m sure it would. Aunt Rose had already implicated Blake last night, so I was sure I had not heard the end of it.
Maybe I would say they had an ill family member, and they had had to rush off in a hurry to be the caretakers. That was believable. It would explain why they left so suddenly and why they would not be back for a few weeks. Or maybe an excuse was not needed at all. Wasn’t just saying that he was gone, that his whole family was gone, enough?
There were also more in-depths answers required as to where I had been all day the day before and why my eyes were so red and swollen. I was still not sure what lie I would come up with for those questions. Everything I was about to say was going to be a lie. It was not something I was proud of, but it was necessary. There was nothing I wouldn’t do to prevent the Harpers’ secret—newly my secret—from getting out. And there was no way that Aunt Rose could find out that I was a witch; she would surely have me committed. All of this lying was also for their safety. The less they knew, the better.
With that determination in mind, I got up with eagerness, prepared to get it all over with. Before I headed downstairs, I checked myself in the bathroom mirror. Just as I suspected, I still looked like hell. “Here we go,” I whispered to my reflection, dragging a brush through my tangled mess of hair, trying to make it look a little more presentable. It was no use. I gave up and walked downstairs, prepared as I would ever be.
Chapter Twenty-One
“Good morning, Meredith.” Aunt Rose smiled as she looked up for a moment from the eggs she was scrambling.
“Good morning,” I spoke softly. “Need help with anything?”
“No, I think I have it covered. Why don’t you sit down? Breakfast is almost ready.” She pointed to the table, which had a large carafe of OJ, a few condiments, and three place settings already on it.
I pulled out my usual chair by the window and sat, anticipating that at any moment the questions would begin. But for a long while, there was only the sound of the spatula against the frying pan. I looked around and saw no signs of Jack. I hoped they had not argued and it had caused him to leave or something. But there were three place settings, so someone else was expected to be joining us for breakfast.
“Where’s Jack?” I asked curiously.
“Oh, he just ran out to pick up some donuts.” She looked at me and smiled.
Okay. What was going on? She was cooking breakfast like we were celebrating someone’s birthday or something. Eggs, fresh OJ, and my favorite—donuts. It had been years since we had a spread like this. Did she develop a serious case of amnesia during the night? The last time I had seen Aunt Rose, she was practically spitting fire at me.
“Why the big commotion over breakfast this morning?” I asked.
“Aren’t you hungry?” she questioned.
“Starving, actually.” I couldn’t remember the last time I had eaten.
“Good,” she responded, looking satisfied. “Well, Jack and I were up talking last night, and we feel that we have not been paying close enough attention to you, the last month or so. We were so focused on us—you know, getting married—and you were so busy with graduation and work that we hardly saw you.”
Just then the front door slammed and Jack yelled, “Donuts!”
“Great, we can start,” she said as she finished putting all the scrambled eggs in a large bowl, placing them on the table.
Here it comes. Their questions, my lies.
“Did you sleep well, Mer? You still look exhausted,” Jack said as he sat down.
“Fine, I slept just fine.” And I actually had slept fine, after all the crying I had done that day and night, it eventually put me to sleep.
“Meredith.” My aunt spoke with seriousness now. “We wanted to sit down with you and talk to you about a few things. I came off a little harsh last night, and I’m sorry about that, but we were just worried about you.” She paused, grabbing my hand. “We just want to make sure you still plan on taking the path you have been talking about the last few months. We know that you met someone, and we are thrilled that Blake is making you happy, but we want to make sure you have thought about your future.”
I decided to interrupt her before she dove in any deeper. “The Harpers left.” I really didn’t mean for it to come out that blunt, but it escaped me without too much thought. “They had to leave town unexpectedly … something about one of their family members falling ill. So—Blake’s gone.” I have always thought the less details, the better, when telling a lie. I took a deep breath, uncoiled my hand from Aunt Rose’s grasp and reached for the eggs.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, Meredith. I know how much you cared about him,” Jack said, sounding sincere.
“So, that’s where I was yesterday. I was upset … about Blake … so I went to the beach.�
�� I was only half-lying with that—that was not so bad. It did not seem right to let them know that I went to the Harpers’ house. One, they just wouldn’t understand, and two, they would think I was a crazed stalker girlfriend.
“Oh, Meredith, I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you tell us last night? I wouldn’t have acted the way I did. I feel awful.” She covered her face with her hands.
No one spoke for the next few minutes as we each piled food onto our plates. I was starving, so I piled mine high.
“Have you thought about what you are going to do next?” Aunt Rose asked, guilt covering her face. “I don’t want you to feel rushed or anything, but I was just hoping you had at least been thinking about it.”
“I am going to stick around here for a little while longer.” I winced as I finished, expecting the questioning to begin again.
“Okay, if more time is what you need, then you should take it,” Jack spoke slowly, drawing out each word as he glanced in my aunt’s direction.
Apparently, they had discussed a lot last night, and Jack seemed to be in favor of leaving me alone to figure out what I wanted to do, no badgering.
We finished up with breakfast, and I offered to help clean the kitchen, but it was made pretty clear they wanted me out of there so they could talk more—about me, no doubt.
I thanked them again for a wonderful breakfast and walked upstairs. Part of me wanted to sit on the steps like a child and eavesdrop, and the other part of me wanted to go back to bed. But neither of those would be possible. It was a work day.
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