by Trisha Baker
Now Meghann read the cursed letter aloud again. As she read, Charles could almost see that vile bastard savoring each line as he put it on paper, knowing what it would do to Meghann, how badly it would hurt…
Meghann,
You are almost enough to make me believe in the existence of my departed uncle's self-righteous, punishing god. As you yourself put it, falling in love and being spurned is a rather fitting chastisement for several lifetimes spent never caring for another person. Not that I regret one action I've taken—and that includes my decision to transform you, my reluctant consort.
As my good friend Will Shakespeare put it… the course of true love never did run smooth. You need not fear me, darling. I shall never again lift a hand to harm you. That would not bring me what I most desire—your love.
Therefore, until the day comes that you seek me out of your own free will, our paths will not cross. The next time you see me, Meghann, it will be because you want to.
That does not mean I will stand idly by and allow you to seek out others to share your immortality with. My dear one, if I cannot have you, then no one will. Be forewarned, little one, that your life without me shall be a lonely one. Should you be at all tempted to shrug off this part of my letter, I would strongly urge you to keep the example of James Delacroix before you.
Never fear, he is quite alive. But you will take no pleasure in seeing him. For he is no longer your lover, but rather, I have transformed him into my apprentice—to replace the one you so thoughtlessly slaughtered.
Farewell for now, sweet child.
All my love,
Lord Simon Baldevar, Earl of Lecarrow
Meghann spat on the letter. "You'll see me because you want to see me! The fiend overlooks the fact that he has Jimmy with him… Of course our paths will cross again!" Angrily she punched the steel railing on the boardwalk, causing it to bend. "Goddamn him to hell!" she yelled.
Charles was relieved by the sight of her temper. Let her get angry; let her start to feel again. This was the first time he'd seen any strong emotion in her since that awful night. Charles hated to remember the piteous way Meghann had wept, how she beat her fists on the stone floor until Charles forcibly restrained her.
He'd been frightened she might harm herself, but then she cried and cried. It seemed like hours until the pain of her injury forced her to stop, and even then quiet tears still trickled down her face.
As they walked on the boardwalk, Charles took in his friend's appearance. The evil wretch had done his work well that evening—a light had forever gone out of Meghann's eyes. The wonderful sprite and funny girl he loved was no more—now her eyes were bitter and cold. But Charles told himself it was too soon to decide if this was a permanent condition—she had not even been without Jimmy two months; it was normal to grieve now.
Meghann glanced at Charles. "Why are you still alive?" The question was in no way a reproach, not an indication of disappointment that he was well while her lover lived through the hell of being Simon's slave. It was honest puzzlement.
Charles had no more answers to that than she did. "The only thing I can think of is that the fiend simply didn't have time to deal with me and Jimmy… so he made a choice. Which would hurt more… my death or Jimmy's transformation at his hands? He made his decision; then he hurried to steal Jimmy away and write that miserable letter before we could stop him." There was another possibility—one he wasn't ready to share with Meghann. Lord Baldevar had to have known she was hurt before he left the estate. Could he have left Charles alive to make sure someone could help her? Did he truly love her?
"Simon told me he knew I must have tried to console myself with the idea I'd change things if I were ever given an opportunity," she said in a quiet tone. The brief flash of rage was gone; in its place was that gray numbness that worried Charles so much. "He was right—I did tell myself how differently I'd do things if I had a second chance. But look what happened—God gave me a chance to find love again with Jimmy. But I failed him the same way I failed Johnny Devlin—I couldn't save either of them from Simon."
"That's not true." Charles forced her to look at him—forced himself actually; he couldn't stand her haunted, shadowed eyes. "Jimmy Delacroix is alive. Maybe he is changed, but he's alive all the same. We'll find him, Meghann. And no matter what Simon has done to him, I believe we can cure him. Don't you remember that awful night? Even if it was only for a brief moment, you undid Simon's work on Jimmy with love. And you saved me too. Who knows what would have happened if I didn't travel away? And if that isn't enough for you, what about Darlene?"
Meghann was silent, but Charles thought he saw a small gleam of satisfaction in her expression. He recalled how stunned he was when Meghann pulled herself off that stone floor.
Her green eyes were absolutely steady and calm. In an awful way, he was reminded of that still quality Simon had… where you could not know what he was feeling or thinking behind the cold mask. Meghann looked liked that when she said quietly but emphatically, "Darlene!"
"What?" he had said dumbly.
"Darlene!" she shouted. "Jimmy's twin sister… I know Simon! He'll try to twist Jimmy's soul by making him kill the person he loves most of all… just like he did to me! We have to go upstate; we have to save Darlene."
"He can't attack Jimmy's sister tonight," Charles protested. "He has to watch over Jimmy's transformation."
"That's right," Meghann told him. "There's no way for Simon to attack Darlene tonight… so that's why we have to act; while he's occupied with Jimmy!"
He recalled the frenzied drive upstate, him driving while Meghann directed him. Fortunately, Charles had three pints of blood in his bag. He made Meghann take most of it, and that grisly wound began to shut. But there was still a hole in her forehead when they pulled up in front of Darlene Delacroix Parker's house.
Now Meghann laughed. It was a bit grim, somewhat rusty—but a laugh all the same. "Oh, God, Darlene looked like she'd seen a ghost. She never believed Jimmy's story about the vampire that killed Amy and Jay. Suddenly she had little choice with me standing before her with a window in my skull like the one that killed Kennedy."
Darlene came running out of the small, neat, white-frame house, her husband behind her with a hunting rifle.
The woman paled like a ghost when she saw her twin's girlfriend standing in front of her with a huge red hole in her forehead. Darlene thought she could see the other woman's brain. "Maggie?" she whispered.
"I need to talk to you," Meghann told her.
By some miracle, Darlene remained on her feet and asked her husband to go back inside. He'd been reluctant—until Charles reached into his mind.
Once he shut the screen door, Darlene asked haltingly, "Everything Jimmy said… was true, wasn't it?"
Meghann nodded. "You have to trust me now, Darlene."
"Where the hell is my brother?"
"Something very bad happened to him."
"Well, why didn't you help him?" Darlene asked her twin's lover. She didn't know what exactly this woman was… or if she was a woman at all. But Jimmy loved her—he'd been with her for six years. "Ain't that what you've been up to all this time? Helping Jimmy with that… mess?"
"I tried to help," Meghann said softly.
Darlene took in the incredible injury and the woman's ragged appearance, standing before her clad only in an oversize T-shirt. And she looked at the stranger with her… They were both white like sheets and their eyes kept jumping around. "I guess you did try to help him. But where is he? Why are you here?"
Meghann sighed, and tried to put this situation as simply as she could. "Jimmy has been hurt… badly hurt and very changed. You would not recognize him as your brother. And right now, he wouldn't care that you're the sister he loves so much… You'd mean nothing to him." She saw the pain on Darlene's face and tried to soften the blow. "But I don't think he'll be that way forever. I'll be able to help him again. Right now I'm helping him by keeping you safe."
Darlene did no
t want to know any more about this situation than she absolutely had to. That was fortunate since Meghann was not going to tell her anything… The less Darlene knew, the better.
Darlene had not argued when Meghann insisted that she and her family leave their home at the crack of dawn. There was no protest when Meghann gave her the location of a fixer who would be happy to supply the family with new identities. Yes, she agreed to send her new address to Meghann at a post office box Jimmy did not know about. Reluctantly she agreed to accept the money Meghann offered to start the family's new life.
Charles grinned when he thought of where Meghann got the funds to assist Jimmy's family. She pointed out that since the deed to Simon's manor house was in her name, there was no reason for her not to sell it. She'd been lucky enough to find a buyer quickly, then gave most of the money from the sale of the estate to Darlene. Hopefully, their new identities—unknown to Jimmy—and wealth would keep them safe.
The two vampires stood guard over the family until dawn, and Darlene raised no objection when Meghann told her they would be staying in the cellar.
Charles remembered the last conversation between the two women. The car was loaded down, Darlene's children and husband ready to leave.
Before she got in the car, Darlene grabbed Meghann. "I want you to promise me something."
"Anything."
"You say something bad has changed my brother, that he might hurt us, and he wouldn't be able to help himself."
"Yes."
"Well, let me tell you something. I don't know you all that well, but I do know Jimmy just about worshiped the ground you walked on. If he's mixed up in something bad, he'll listen to you if you tell him to quit. So you swear to me that you and this guy you're with … you swear that you'll both use whatever you've got to help Jimmy out of this mess he's in."
Meghann grabbed Darlene back, and kissed her cheek. "I swear to you I'll bring Jimmy back."
"Meghann, how can you tell me, after all you did that night, that you failed?" She started to speak, but Charles pressed on. "You saved Darlene's life. You don't think Jimmy would thank you for that if he could? No… one day he will thank you for it And look at Lord Baldevar—no matter how you enrage or resist him, he can't kill you. That gives you quite a bit of power over him. Perhaps in time we'll figure out a way to use that to our advantage."
Meghann shrugged. "Maybe he can't kill me… Maybe that's as close to love as Simon Baldevar is ever going to get But what good is it? Our strength is nothing compared to his."
"Right now that's true," Charles told her quietly. "I did not mean we could rescue Jimmy anytime soon. But in time, Meghann, we'll go home to Ballnamore. We have to go anyways—explain our master's death to the others. While we're there… we'll pour over every resource our mentor left behind. We'll do what that rotten fiend did and develop our power. We're vampires, Meghann, and that gives us one invaluable resource for our feud with Simon… time."
For a brief moment, Meghann was herself again. Her green eyes glowed with hope and anticipation. But then her eyes turned apathetic once more. "I'm afraid Simon has even managed to take that resource from me, Charles."
Charles took her hands. "Meghann, what do you mean? I was sure you were recovering over the past few weeks—you seemed stronger and I saw that depression start to alleviate. Then the past two nights—I know you've spent most of them weeping. Please tell me what's wrong… Let me help you."
Meghann sat down on the cold sand. Charles perched by her, wishing there were some way to remove that tense, anxious, desperately unhappy look from her eyes.
"Charles," she said quietly, "I'm not trying to be coy, or keep things from you. It's just… I don't know how to tell you this. I can't seem to say the words."
Charles put his arms around her. "Take your time."
But Meghann just looked up at him with the strangest expression. He saw pain in her eyes, pain with fear, embarrassment… and a curious acceptance of something. Wait a minute! Now he remembered when he'd seen a look to rival hers… in his mortal days, when he had to tell patients they were dying… Once they accepted the news, they had that same bitter resignation Meghann did.
Do you think you're dying, Meghann?
Startled, she looked up. It was very rare for her and Charles to speak to each other telepathically… They usually preferred to keep their mortal ways with each other.
"I don't know," she told him softly. "I… I guess I should start at the beginning." She met his eyes again, and this time the embarrassment was stronger in her eyes… and in the blush covering her cheeks. "I never told you everything that happened between me and Simon after he killed Alcuin."
"I didn't want to embarrass you by prying," Charles said.
"I thank you for that, and I was hoping I'd never have to tell you. I wanted to forget it happened. But now—"
Charles put an arm around her. "Meghann, I told you once before—it doesn't matter what you did to stay alive. I think I know some of what's bothering you… Don't forget I heard every word that fiend said to you when he thought I was unconscious. What's eating you? Are you scared that you have… feelings for him?"
Meghann gave a bitter laugh. "I have better things to worry about now. But as far as that goes… I've had a lot of time to think about it. It did gnaw at me… the fact that I told him I loved him, that I almost wanted to sever his bonds when he was on the rack."
"That was only him using his power as your master to do his bidding—nothing more. It's not like you're in love with him."
Meghann shrugged. "I wish that were true. But I think a part of me… the dark part, maybe what he put there when he transformed me… part of me loves him. Otherwise, he never would have gotten me to respond to him when we were alone. And that was before he forced that potion down my throat. One thing he told me… I see a side of him no one else does. That's probably true… He is not tender to anyone else, just me."
"Is that enough for you?" Charles asked her.
"Of course not!" she replied quickly. "No, I had something far better with Jimmy… Which is why the bastard is probably doing his best to warp Jimmy even as we speak. What I was trying to tell you is that Alcuin was right… I can't resist Simon when I'm alone with him. When you're there, when Jimmy was with me… I could ignore that cord, or bond, or link, or whatever the hell it is that he uses to bind me to him."
"I think it drives Lord Baldevar insane that you can ignore it all—that he'll never have what he wants from you."
Meghann sighed. "You're wrong there… Simon got precisely what he wanted from me. I told him I loved him… and I meant it. I think maybe that was very important; it wouldn't have worked if I didn't feel I loved him, that I wanted to belong to him in that moment."
"What wouldn't have worked? What did he do to you, Meghann?"
"After he gave me that potion, we made love."
"I guessed that."
"Did you also guess that he had me invoke the goddess while we made love?"
Charles felt something icy at the back of his neck—he shivered because he was starting to understand what Meghann was driving at.
She saw his comprehension and nodded. "I brought the goddess into my body… We performed the strongest form of love magic on Beltane… the night for fertility." Meghann sighed again, and looked out at the black water with the crashing surf. "I thought all Simon was after that night was my soul. I had no idea he performed that rite to gain something far more tangible."
Beltane… lovemaking… invoking the goddess… Charles's eyes swept over his friend's body. He prayed the dark suspicion he had was wrong. He started babbling in fear and denial. "We'll rescue Jimmy, Meghann. We'll be safe from Simon at Ballnamore and we'll do as I told you, find some way to develop our strength until we're a fit match for—"
Meghann smiled sadly and put her hand over his mouth to stem the hysterical promises. "I don't have time to develop my strength, Charles." She took one of his icy, trembling hands and placed it on her stomach. "
I'm pregnant."
* * *
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Trisha Baker lives with her family in New York. She is currently working on the sequel to CRIMSON KISS. It will be published by Pinnacle Books in 2002. Trisha loves hearing from readers; you may write to her c/o Pinnacle Books. Please include a self-addressed, stamped envelope if you wish to receive a response. You can also visit her Web site at www.crimsonkiss.org.