“Are you going to open that or were you waiting for me to do it?” Bryce looked tired, standing with his hands in his pockets.
“Um…” She looked down at the wine bottle, corkscrew tip already buried into the cork. “Oh. Yeah.” She quickly finished opening the bottle and poured the Merlot into two glasses.
“Carl Michaelson dropped by the office today,” Bryce said.
“Oh yeah?” She held out his glass.
He hesitated a moment before he crossed the kitchen.
Eryn watched as he lifted the glass to his lips and drank deeply, then added, “He said Troy has a long list of pictures he wants you to take.”
Eryn’s back stiffened.
“He found it amusing that Troy will have you busy for the next 12 months.” He finished his wine and set the glass down. “I’m going to bed.”
They locked eyes for a brief moment before he turned away. He showed no emotion. Only the sharp edge to his voice let Eryn know his patience was wearing thin.
≈
The light from the window was too bright. Scrunching her eyes closed, Eryn pulled her pillow over her head to shut out it out and to try to reel her dream back in. Fragments lingered, flitting in and out of her memory. She wasn’t ready to let it go.
“Hello?”
The room was completely empty with nothing to mar the walls. She kneeled on the floor and clutched the receiver, her knuckles as white as the walls that boxed her in. She wanted to crawl inside the black plastic that she pressed hard against her ear, just to get closer to the voice it held.
“Hello.” One word, spoken so softly, wrapped seductively around her. It swirled like a mist, moving silently across her face, drifting like fingers through her hair.
She sighed. “I’ve waited so long for you to call.”
The receiver lost its shape and became translucent, before dissolving in her fist. Frantically, she searched the room, palming the floor around her, looking for the one thing that connected her to him.
“Look behind you, love. I’ve always been here.”
Scrambling to her feet, she spun around towards the voice.
The space between them closed with a few gliding steps. Willing arms wrapped around each other, giving them what they needed – comfort, rest, and a place to come home. Heated love reached out, capturing her breath.
“I’ve missed you.” His lips brushed her hair and her temples before he held his cheek to hers.
She clung to him, not understanding the sadness in his voice. His arms tightened around her. And then he was fading.
An echo of his voice haunted her. “Please do not turn me away.”
The dream was getting harder to hold on, slipping away like mercury on glass. It was no use. The harder she tried, the more it eluded her. With a groan she slammed her fists into the bed.
“You’re awake.”
She sat straight up, the pillow landing in her lap. Bryce stood at the bathroom doorway rubbing his hair with a towel, another one tucked around his waist. She shivered, but it wasn’t at the sight of his taut stomach or the way his broad chest and strong shoulders seemed to fill the room. It was the way he was looking at her, a potent mix of strength, power, broodiness, and control. He walked to her, his eyes smoldering with possessiveness, each step purposeful.
His eyes held hers for a moment before he reached for the pillow and put it beside her. Towering over her, he leaned in and pressed his lips against hers, his breathing quick and hoarse. The towel came open as he slid under the sheets with her, leaning her back, trapping her with his body. He pulled back just long enough to smooth his thumb across her lower lip, then quickly covered her mouth with his, sweeping his tongue inside. The invasion should have been sweet, but instead he fought with her, leading her with hungry urgency.
Starved for intimacy, Eryn clutched at his corded shoulders, pulling him closer, feeding him the sweetness of her mouth.
“Eryn,” he groaned, heavy with need.
Rolling her towards him, he shifted her hips to shed her of the scant fabric that was the barrier between them.
“I need you, Eryn. Right now. I need you.”
That statement, that small admission from Bryce, slammed into her. He had never admitted to needing anything or anyone. She moved her hips against his, encouraging him, but when his fingers stroked her flesh, when he nudged her thighs open, when they fell into rhythm, she remembered again.
“Please do not turn me away.” As if ice had been thrown on her face, Eryn cringed. Her hands clenched the sheets. She suddenly felt like such a traitor.
Pushing the dream away, she surrendered herself to Bryce and took all that he gave, giving what she could. For now, she had Bryce. For now she would not hurt him.
Chapter 18
My dear Jonathan,
I had no knowledge how difficult it would be to let you go. When we parted, I knew not if I would see you again, and told myself it was not of great import. Though you made me feel so alive, showing me the true woman I had locked deep inside, I grudgingly convinced myself we could go no further, being that our lives are so vastly different. I had hoped that our kiss would be a new beginning for me, but in the time that has passed between us, I have discovered it was merely an end.
Since the day you set your sails, I had allowed my mind and body to rule without restraint in my quest to feel the same passion that I felt in your arms. The notion that it would be fruitless without the participation of my heart had never occurred to me. I convinced myself that my heart would eventually follow, but alas, I was indeed mistaken.
Now I pass each day with a stillness I have never known before. Food passes my lips barely noticed. The colors of the roses in the garden seem less brilliant, their aroma less fragrant. The laughter of the children sound less joyful to me.
Oh, Jonathan, I am lost! Although, I suppose it would not be difficult to find me, for the path to the beach is well-worn from the many times I have walked upon it. I find it impossible to stay away from the sea, finding some solace in my memory of our walk along the same path.
Many a sail have appeared upon the horizon when I am there, raising again and again my hopes that you have returned. But when I see the ships that approach our port are not La Helena, I feel painful loneliness and sadness. Often times I will stay and watch until the sun settles beyond the sea, finding a strange comfort in the emptiness the night brings. I can almost hear the sun sigh as its last rays find their way to my heart, a peculiar sorrow that I embrace. I yearn to be the sun that falls slowly behind the water’s edge, for surely it is closer to you than I.
My mother once told me it is best to live in the moment, for we do not have the past or the future. But, Jonathan, if I were given the choice of which moment to live in, I would be hard-pressed to decide. Any moment with you would be heaven.
What I found with you leaves me bittersweet memories, but I have no regrets. If the saints are punishing me for my lack of restraint, I will gladly pay penance until the end.
Chapter 19
“Troy wants to double date again. You up for it?”
“No, not really.” The hard sound of ice against glass gave emphasis to his flat words.
Brandi thought for a moment, leaning against the wet bar as Bryce poured himself a drink.
“Probably just as well.” She stared down at her own drink, swirling the ice cubes in circles. “I think the only reason why he wants to double is because of her.”
Bryce shot her a sidelong look, eyes narrowed in question.
Brandi glanced at him for a moment before looking back down at her glass. “Well, he never really comes out and says it. It’s just in the way he looks at her.”
Bryce’s jaw tightened in response, a gesture that didn’t go unnoticed.
She pushed it further. “I think he has a thing for her and Eryn won’t do anything to stop it.”
Bryce turned his back to her, putting some distance between them.
Brandi was relentless. “She has
n’t been around all that much, has she? Where is she now?”
“Out,” he said quietly.
Emptying the rest of her drink, she gently put the glass on the bar. Stepping closer, she trailed her nails down his back, hooking onto his belt. “Well, I’m here, Bryce.” She leaned into him seductively, brushing her breasts against his back.
“Get away from me.” His mouth snarled with disgust. He walked across the room and sat down, eyeing her warily.
Brandi stared after him, unbelieving. Moving to stand in front of him, she planted her fists on her bony hips and demanded, “What the hell is wrong with me? What has she got that I don’t?”
His icy stare matched hers. “You’ve got to be kidding,” he laughed. “You really want me to answer that?”
The hall echoed with the sound of the front door slamming shut, cutting off Brandi’s response. She straightened her shoulders and stepped back, throwing Bryce a smug look, mouthing “Your loss, asshole.”
“There you are, Eryn.” Brandi said as Eryn rounded the corner towards the kitchen. “We were just wondering where you were.”
Eryn looked between the two, sensing something was off. Judging from Brandi’s smile and the way Bryce was staring into his glass, she figured Brandi had gotten under his skin somehow, which was hardly new. She shifted the grocery bags in her arms.
“I didn’t realize anyone was waiting for me.” She turned and walked to the kitchen with Brandi not far behind.
Putting the bags on the counter, Eryn started pulling things out and putting them away. “So how’s Troy?”
“Oh, he’s fine.” Brandi poked around in the bags. “You forgot chips.” She shrugged and added, “Me and Troy are going out tonight.”
Eryn turned to stare at her. “Then why are you here instead of at home getting ready?” Brandi’s constant presence there was definitely getting on her nerves.
“Troy said he would pick me up here. He wanted me to get you guys to go out with us.”
Eryn grabbed a bag and headed to the refrigerator. “We can’t go.”
“I know,” Brandi said. “I’m glad. I don’t think I could deal with it again.”
Eryn frowned. She turned, bag still in hand. “What do you mean? Deal with what?”
Brandi rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. He’s got a thing for you and you just encourage him!”
“I don’t understand,” Eryn protested. “I haven’t done anything.”
“No, of course not.” Brandi was suddenly tense, her arms crossed over her chest. “You never do anything. That’s the point. You’re just…you.” She spat out the last word as if it was a repulsive taste on her tongue. “When was the last time you tried to get a guy before they just fell at your feet?”
Eryn was still trying to follow the direction the conversation was heading when Brandi pressed on.
“Don’t you see how hard it is for me to find a really nice guy? I think I have a chance with Troy and you’re messing it up.”
“I’m messing it up?” Now she was completely lost. “What exactly do you want me to do?”
Brandi’s fists clenched at her sides. “Leave him alone. Stop taking pictures of him and his fucking dog!” Suddenly she was on the verge of tears.
“But that’s my job, Brandi. It has nothing to do with…”
Brandi cut her off. “It has everything to do with it!” Her voice started to rise, punctuated by a foot stomp. “Just for once I want to have a real relationship with someone who isn’t some loser. Let him go, Eryn. He’s mine!”
Brandi looked different tonight. There were subtle changes Eryn hadn’t noticed before. Usually so nonchalant about things, Brandi was beginning to look resentful and spiteful and at the same time so pitifully insecure.
“Okay,” Eryn said slowly. “He’s yours. I won’t do anything to come between you.” She raised her eyebrows and waited to see if that was what Brandi wanted to hear.
Brandi nodded and sniffled.
Bryce came around the corner and leaned against the wall, hands in his pockets, staring at Eryn.
Oh, God. Not you, too. Eryn could only guess he heard everything and, given the hardness in his eyes, shared the same opinion as Brandi.
Brandi pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and started pushing buttons as she turned and walked past Bryce, leaving the couple to stare at each other.
Bryce was accusing her without saying a word. There was no sympathy, no support in his eyes.
Frustration squeezed her throat. “Do you really think I had any part of this?”
“I told you I didn’t like him.”
Brandi’s voice filtered in from the next room. “No, it’s just us tonight. They’re busy. No, I don’t know what they’re busy with. They’re just busy. Yeah. I’ll meet you outside.”
Brandi appeared behind Bryce, purse in hand. She looked at the two of them still staring at each other. Brandi’s mood had shifted back to happy again. She had gotten what she wanted. She nudged Bryce in the back.
“Hey, lighten up you guys,” she said before turning and walking out. The front door slammed behind her.
Bryce’s stare was unwavering, his eyes smoky beneath dark brows. “So what’s it going to be?” There was a slight edge of anticipation in his voice.
So this was it. She could see in Bryce’s eyes what he expected her to say and she knew what would happen if she didn’t. Of course, he would get his way.
≈
Eryn squinted at the clock on her dresser. Eleven o’clock. She strained through the darkness for the sound that had woken her up. It was the low hum of a motor. Brandi was back, she thought. A car door slammed and the engine cut out. Hushed laughter and voices drifted up to the open window. The creak of another car door announced its opening and closing and then there was silence. When neither car started up again, Eryn groaned inwardly. Looking over to see that Bryce was sleeping, she slid out from under the covers and tiptoed to the window. Brandi’s car was still parked in the driveway where she left it earlier, but now Troy’s truck was parked behind it. In the dim glow of the porch light, Eryn could detect some slight movement in Brandi’s car. The car windows were already steaming up.
Eryn curled her lip in disgust. She knew this little display was Brandi’s way of making a point.
“Grow the hell up, Brandi,” she spat out softly. Eryn slowly slid the window closed and rolled down the blinds, then padded quietly to the bed and crawled back under the covers.
She pressed her fingers to her eyes, squeezing them tight. In the morning she would finish editing Troy’s pictures. After that she’d let him know there would be no more photographs. She had to, if she was to make everyone happy again. If that was even possible! Why did things have to be so complicated? She shivered in spite of the warm night and moved closer to Bryce. His breathing remained deep. She pressed her back to his and hugged her pillow hard against her chest.
Tears trickled out of the corners of her eyes, slow and hot. She felt so lost, so defeated. Beside her Bryce was quiet and his steady breathing infuriated her. Damn you, Bryce! Why won’t you take my side on this?
It was after midnight by the time she heard the cars start up and drive away. She pulled the covers over her head and finally drifted off to sleep.
She walked slowly on a long stretch of white sand. It was quiet here. Serene. The ocean was calm with the waves gently rolling onto the shore, leaving whispering secrets in the sand. A lone figure stood on the edge of the water farther down the beach, hands in pockets, looking out at the ocean, looking for something or someone. His black pants and white shirt billowed in unison and his hair was swept back by the ocean breeze. Her heart quickened. She had found him! Or did he find her? In a moment she was standing beside him and without a word he took her in his arms and held her close. She felt comfort there as she buried her head on his shoulder. She knew he understood her. She closed her eyes, feeling protected and secure. She had no desire to leave. Ever. She was home.
≈
/> Eryn woke up gradually the next morning, savoring the peacefulness that blanketed her. The dreams were becoming more and more real. She could feel his arms around her, feel her cheek against his chest.
She tried to make sense of it. These dreams were a part of her now, connecting her to a past with this man. Memories of long ago intertwined with her present in one continuous strand of events. When she was dreaming, it was just the two of them. With him, she felt whole. No words needed to pass between them. Though he was quite possibly the most beautiful man she has ever seen, the attraction went beyond the physical. It was as though their souls blended. One half of a whole. Twin souls.
The sheets next to her were cool now, the heat of Bryce’s body long gone. But it didn’t matter anymore. She was tired of his distrust. Tired of the distance he put between the two of them. It doesn’t matter how much she tried, because he certainly wasn’t.
She drew a long breath and let it out quickly. She had some very unpleasant business to take care of today. She pressed her hands to her face, slowly drawing them across her eyes and to her temples and rubbing them in anticipation of a headache that undoubtedly would attack soon. How was she going to tell Troy she was dropping him as a client?
She dragged herself out of bed, shuffled out of the room and went downstairs, letting her feet land with a thud on each stair.
Once in her office she found Troy’s phone number and picked up the phone. She hesitated with every number she touched, wondering what she was going to say. She pushed the last number and held her breath.
Each passing ring upped the notch of tension in her neck. Would he understand? Would he try to convince her to stay on as his photographer? Probably. When the ringing stopped and his recorded message began, she let out her breath, relieved.
“You chicken,” she muttered and then said out loud, “Hi, Troy. This is Eryn. I have a few pictures left to edit and then I’ll get them to you right away.” She bit her lip before going on. “I need to cancel next week’s session…and I can’t reschedule. I’m sorry for the short notice.” She pinched the bridge of her nose between her fingers. There was nothing more she could say. “Goodbye, Troy.”
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