Again

by Diana Murdock

  She hung up. She just knew that her message wasn’t going to be well-received.

  Chapter 20

  The darkened room lit up briefly as lightning slashed through the night sky, illuminating the heavy drops of rain that splattered down upon the soaked ground. Galen breathed in the moist air. In spite of the disturbance outside, he had never felt more at peace. Of late Catherine had seemed more open and more responsive to him. She was less reserved and smiled more these days past. He joined her on frequent rides over the hillside or shared a meal at the cliffs, and evenings passed quietly in the great hall reading poetry or telling stories.

  He was able to dismiss his haunting vision of the merchant kissing Catherine’s hand, now that he realized his concern was for naught. He had seen Catherine and Emelie ride fiercely out of the gates the morning after they dined with Lord Oakley, and thinking perhaps Catherine was upset by the events of the evening, he had followed them when they did not return right away. He had stood in the shelter of the trees beyond the port and watched with growing unease as Catherine - his Catherine! - and the handsome merchant stood too close together and exchanged words he could not hear. Jealousy had raged within him, but when he saw no response from Catherine, Galen quelled his desire to challenge the man.

  Now he laughed out loud, relieved that his fears were unfounded. Catherine was his and always had been, he thought. She just needed more time. He straightened his tunic and smoothed back his hair.

  There was a frantic knock and the door flung open before Galen could move.

  “Oh, Galen!” Sara closed the door, and stared at him, her eyes wide.

  Sara had become dramatic of late, he mused, and this could very well be another performance. Still, he was compelled to ask. “What is it, Sara?”

  She threw herself in his arms. “Galen, I was so scared!” She clung tightly to his waist, her face pressed to his chest.

  Wary now, he reached behind his back and released her grip. Though she held tightly, she was no match for his strength. He distanced himself from her, eyeing her closely.

  “What frightened you?”

  “There was a noise beyond my wardrobe. It was a horrible scratching noise!”

  He rolled his eyes. “Tis likely nothing more than rats you heard scurrying about, Sara,” he said, trying to hide his annoyance.

  Hands clasped tightly together, she gazed at him from beneath her eyelashes. “Do you really think so?”

  A crack of light, followed by a thunderous boom, shook the air.

  With a shriek, Sara flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around him once again. “Please hold me, Galen.” She looked up at him through fluttering eyelashes, lips slightly parted.

  A poor performance after all, Galen thought. Sara was anything but a frightened girl. In fact, he had never known her to be afraid of anything. What was she playing at?

  He pushed her away from him and said as softly as his mood would allow, “I am not a pawn in whatever game this is, Sara. You know where my heart lies. I will always be true to your sister.” He scowled at her. “You would do well to remember that.”

  Her thin hands dragged across her face, wiping away tears that were not there. “Think you that she pines for you?” Her voice turned soft as she reached out to touch his arm. “You speak of loyalty, but that is a word Catherine does not understand, not as I do.”

  Galen flinched, drawing his arm back. “And you know of this word, Sara?” he said with disbelief.

  She added, softer yet, “I would pledge my life and my body to you, Galen.” Stepping closer, she whispered. “Let me show you.”

  His gray eyes turned stone cold. “You show your loyalty by trying to seduce me?”

  Sara squared her shoulders and stepped back. “She plays you for the fool, Galen. You did not see the way they looked at each other!”

  “They?” Galen growled. “What do you mean?”

  “The merchant,” she spat out. “The captain of La Helena.”

  Galen grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her around. “I will not discuss this with you, Sara.” He thrust her towards the door. “Go join the others in the hall. I will be down shortly.”

  He quickly closed the door, but not before he saw the look of satisfaction on her face. Leaning hard on one hand against the door, he closed his eyes firmly against the doubt, which like a faint mist, settled in the corners of his mind and in his heart. Could he believe Sara’s words? No, he thought firmly. Sara was a manipulative little chit and what she said could only have been born from the resentment she seemed to have toward Catherine.

  Galen pushed himself away from the door, shoving his hand through his hair. Catherine held his heart. There would never be another woman for him, and he was fair certain she now felt the same. He swung the door open and made his way to the great hall. He would see her tonight and show her how much he cared.

  ≈

  Catherine stood at the entrance to the hall, smiling at the gaiety within. This night was in honor of the people of the village. Her suggestion to hold such a gathering had been met with some hesitation by her father and Galen, but she had persisted. She insisted the villagers should reap the benefits of their lord’s generosity, if only for one night.

  The hearth was filled with cut wood, the flame within blazing tall, chasing away the dampness with its heat and light. She looked around the great hall, satisfied to see that tonight they were as one. After such a dreary day of constant rain, a night of festivities would lift everyone’s spirits.

  Her father and Galen had already seated themselves at the high table and were flanked by the knights who had pledged themselves to her father. Galen sat with quiet reserve among the others, who laughed and raised their tankards in unison, clearly enjoying one another’s company.

  Catherine’s gaze fell upon Galen. This evening he had taken much care with his appearance, perhaps more than usual, she thought. His chosen color of deep blue did well to contrast with his golden hair that hung loosely about his shoulders. She could find no fault in him. The fault truly was with her. How could she fail to be stirred by a man such as he? He gave her his heart and soul as well as his protection. His kisses had lost their hesitancy and grown more daring, more passionate lately, but still they could not rouse a flame within her. Each time when she pulled away, could he not feel dissatisfaction? Though she enjoyed being in his arms, she knew she failed to return as much passion as he gave.

  As if sensing her, Galen’s watchful eyes roamed the room and when they lit upon Catherine, he transformed. His eyes shone and his face relaxed. He rose quickly and crossed the room, his eyes focused only on her.

  “Catherine, you look beautiful tonight.” He took her hands in his and lightly kissed her forehead. “Come. Allow me to escort you.” He tucked her hand in the crook of his arm and led her to the table, seating her next to her father. Galen joined in more fully now with the conversation before them. His smile reached his eyes, as it always did when she was by his side.

  After a simple fare of wild boar, quail, bread, and much ale, the floor before the high table was cleared for the entertainment. The walls were lined with knights, servants, and villagers, all laughing and clapping with anticipation. A troupe of performers, seeking shelter from the storm, entered the hall. Dressed in rich, bright colors and head coverings of green, yellow, purple, and red, the troupe of men and women danced and somersaulted their way into the hall. An exotic beauty, dancing seductively with swaying hips that were swathed in flowing skirts, was followed by a younger, but taller man. His hands moved swiftly as he juggled four knives at once, tossing them in the air with breathtaking speed. His bright yellow shirt with billowing sleeves was cut open to his navel and his muscular thighs strained the fabric of his breeches. Straight ebony hair was captured at the nape of his neck, accentuating the strong line of his chin. For one moment that lasted an eternity, the room and all within seemed to fade as he captured Catherine’s attention. Visions of Jonathan assaulted her mind as the dark e
yes of this man seemed to penetrate her thoughts.

  Laughter, tangled with the sound of breaths being caught, broke the spell.

  Feeling certain all in attendance were witness to her thoughts, Catherine’s eyes darted around the room, but the performers were the center of attention, not she.

  Even Galen seemed thoroughly entertained. She managed a smile for him. The warmth of Galen’s hand upon hers only fueled the guilt coming to life within her. She could no longer deny the feelings that grew within her heart, but those feelings were an obstacle she would have to overcome if she and Galen were to be together.

  Suddenly too tired to pretend another minute, she bid her father good night and kissed his cheek before turning to Galen. “Forgive me, Galen. I grow weary.” As he rose, she stayed him with her hand on his shoulder. “Please, stay and enjoy the evening. I only wish to retire.”

  His smile faded as he captured her hand in his. “Are you certain, Catherine?”

  She stroked his cheek gently and nodded. How could it be, she wondered, that she alone had the power both to make him smile and to take that happiness away?

  She summoned Emelie to follow her and made her way to the door. Once outside the hall, she turned to her maid. “Draw a bath and await me in my chambers.”

  Emelie curtsied and ran towards the kitchen.

  Catherine then made her way to the stairs leading to the walkways. The stone walls were too confining tonight and the air was too stale. She needed to breathe the air outside where she could be alone.

  The storm had receded a bit, pulling away the darkest of the clouds, gifting Catherine with glimpses of the crescent moon and a handful of stars that pulsated with life. She held her breath, listening for the sound of the ocean. Jonathan was out there, somewhere. He had given her a gift, one that she could not seem to share with anyone but him. A gentle breeze caressed her cheek and brushed across her lips. She closed her eyes to the sensation, summoning the vision of Jonathan. Would he be thinking of her tonight?

  “Catherine.” The voice behind her was strained, the word spoken with uncertainty and perhaps a little fear.

  Catherine turned to face him. Galen knew, she thought. She could hear it in his voice. She had not fooled him. His very soul lay naked before her, and her heart ached at the pleading in his eyes.

  With two steps he closed the gap between them and gathered her in his arms with the desperation of a man realizing what he loved was slipping away. His strong fingers threaded through her tresses, bringing her face to his.

  She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, giving him what she could, taking everything that he offered. Tonight they both could feel things were changing, and they clung to what remained for them. Their past and future tangled together in this one kiss. She could feel the heat in his lips, his desire to possess her, and his need to claim her for his own. No, she would not deny him this kiss, for she needed him right now as much as he needed her.

  Chapter 21

  Thumping on her chest with her fist didn’t relieve the ache that burrowed inside. Eryn finished putting her hair in a ponytail, leaned against the balcony rail, and took a deep breath. Focusing on the ocean only seemed to make it worse. Eryn hardly noticed it at first, but the ache started to swell, and she couldn’t ignore it anymore.

  She sat down. Maybe it was time she faced it. This wasn’t happily ever after. The emptiness shot like a bolt through her chest. No. She shook her head. We’re supposed to be together. We’ve hung in there all these years for a reason, didn’t we?

  She leaned back and thought hard about the possibility of leaving Bryce. No, she couldn’t quit! He needed her.

  But what was it she read about the unresolved issues from past lives? We all have dominant traits that we need to overcome and if we don’t overcome them, we carry them over to the next life. What were her unresolved issues? For one thing, she was forgiving to a fault. She tended to be everyone’s doormat, trying to keep everyone happy.

  Oh, damn! She needed to get out of here and the beach was the best place to connect with her past. Maybe she would come up with answers there.

  Ever since dinner with Troy, Bryce has been watching suspiciously. He was even resorting to going to work later these days, and sometimes he worked at home instead of going to the office, just so he could keep an eye on her.

  She closed the doors to the balcony and made her way to the back of her closet. Grabbing her shorts, she hurried to pull them on. She lost her balance, catching her foot in the shorts, and slammed her shoulder right on the edge of the closet door, sending a sharp pain through her back. “Damn!” Recovering her balance, she winced as rolled her shoulders to loosen them up.

  Her cell phone chimed the arrival of a text message. Hurrying out of the closet and sweeping the phone off the dresser, she glared at it and spat out, “Shit.” It was Troy again, demanding she call him. What part of my message didn’t you get, Troy?

  The aroma of fresh ground coffee drifting up the stairs should have had enticed her, but instead it hovered like some sort of warning.

  “Why is he still here?” she grumbled. A glance at her watch told her Bryce wasn’t going in to work.

  Maybe she could sneak out and avoid having to explain herself to Bryce – again. Pulling her sweatshirt on and grabbing her shoes, she hurried towards the stairs, pausing at the top. There was no way she could sneak out. It would be too obvious. She’d have to pass right by the kitchen. She groaned. The sound of coffee cups clinking together could only mean he was in the kitchen. She crept down the stairs, holding her breath. Maybe he would take his coffee and go into his office and get busy. Then she could just run out the door and wave on the way out. Maybe this morning would be different. Maybe today she wouldn’t feel the guilt or the resentment.

  “Eryn?” he said, coming out of the kitchen.

  She took a deep breath. “Mmm, smells great!” Her forced smile made her cheeks ache as she made her way down the stairs. She tucked her shoes under her arm and reached for the steaming cup, ignoring the scrutinizing look he gave her. She slid past him into the kitchen to place her cup on the counter before putting on her shoes.

  Bryce’s cup slammed onto the countertop with a little more force than was necessary, his agitation clearly showing. “Going to the beach…again?”

  “What do you mean? I always go running,” she said, not looking up.

  “It seems you’re getting more out of it than exercise.”

  It amazed her how quickly he could go from cold to glacial. His gray eyes were like shards of ice now. She stiffened at his accusing gaze.

  “What exactly is that supposed to mean?”

  “I think you know.”

  She rolled her eyes. Whatever his issue, it would have to wait. She just wasn’t in the mood and suddenly the house was feeling too small. Pulling tight on her shoelaces, she took a few sips of her coffee and headed out the door.

  Outside, the morning was clear, the air heavy with the tang of saltiness. She made her way to her car parked outside the garage, patting her pockets in search of her keys. The sound of jingling stopped her short. How could I be so stupid? Pressing her lips together, she forced a smile before turning around to face Bryce.

  “Can’t get far without those.” She mustered a small laugh. “Here, toss ‘em.”

  “Come and get them,” he tempted, holding them out. His smile never reached his eyes.

  “I could just run down to the beach,” she countered.

  “You could, but if I leave, you’d be locked out of the house.” He leaned against the door jam in satisfaction, one eyebrow raised.

  The tension in her neck started to throb, renewing the pain in her shoulder. Okay, she thought, two can play this game. Taking a deep breath and letting it out loudly, she feigned defeat. She tried to keep her steps light when she went to him.

  He hid the keys behind his back when she reached for them. “Come inside with me.” His gaze burned hot and promising.

&nb
sp; “After my run,” she said.

  His eyes glinted steel when he spoke. “Who are you meeting every morning, Eryn?”

  She blinked in surprise, and couldn’t stop the laugh. “Meeting? Are you kidding?” He couldn’t further from the truth – or closer to the truth.

  She sighed. “I’m not meeting anybody.” Was dreaming about a man from another life the same as meeting someone? “Since when is it a crime to exercise?” She put out her hand. “Come on, I won’t be long.”

  He shrugged his shoulder away from the door and tossed her the keys, his eyes never leaving hers. He turned and went inside without saying a word.

  She backed up a few steps before she turned on her heel. Damn him!

  Inside the car, she didn’t look at the house. She hit the steering wheel with her palm, torn up with guilt.

  But the beach was calling to her. “I know, I know. I want to go,” she whispered. Pulling out of the driveway, she chanced a look at the bedroom window. Her eyes locked with Bryce’s for a split second, then he was gone.

  She sped down the street, feeling like she was pulling the thread that was slowly unraveling their marriage. But she was compelled to go, to somehow connect with this man with whom she shared a life with centuries ago. Jonathan. A twin flame. The other half of my soul. The ultimate union. What lesson did she have to learn to get to him?

  The parking lot was empty. The off-shore breeze blew past unobstructed, freely sweeping the sand into random piles. Seagulls hovered, wings frozen in mid-flight, balancing on the wind.

  With her hand poised over the keys, she couldn’t bring herself to turn off the engine. “I should go back.” She shook her head at her own words. “No! I can’t be responsible for his happiness. I have to take care of me!” She leaned her head back on the headrest and closed her eyes as her mind and her heart warred.