“I cannot do this.” He retrieved his tunic from the floor and quickly slid it over his head. “I will not leave your side, Catherine, until you tell me I am no longer welcome. But you cannot have us both and I will not be second to him.”
He picked up his belt from the floor and wrapped it around his waist, yanking hard to secure it. Running his hands through his hair, he opened the door and left, not looking back.
Suddenly cold, Catherine wrapped her arms around herself to fight off the chill running up her spine.
What had Jonathan told her? If it makes you happy, it cannot be wrong. Just find what it is that makes you happy and live it.
She was no longer sure what it was that would truly make her happy.
Chapter 33
There. She’d done it. She had told Brandi to leave.
It’s been a long time coming. Too long, Eryn thought. Finally she could see their relationship for what it was. Since the day they met, they’d used each other to feed some compulsion inside of them; her need to give, and Brandi’s need to take, with a little bit of vengeance mixed in.
Eryn wasn’t sure how much Brandi had drunk tonight, but she had already decided she couldn’t wait until her friend sobered up.
Now Brandi’s knuckles were turning white as she gripped the bar, and though Eryn couldn’t see her face, she figured it was twisted with fury. Brandi’s back was rigid, her shoulders and back rising and falling steeply with each breath.
Then Brandi seemed to relax. She picked up her glass and took a sip before turning around to face Eryn.
“So that’s it, huh? Just like that? Throwing out the garbage?”
Eryn bit her lower lip to keep from saying anything, afraid she would back down and be the coward she had been all these years.
With each word, Brandi’s voice went a step higher. “Do you think it is easy being where I am? Having to look at you day after day? You have it all, Eryn! A big house, too much money. Isn’t it enough?”
“You’re jealous of me?”
“I forgave you for taking away my boyfriend and now you try to take away the one place I can stay! I have nowhere to go!”
“I tried to help you…”
“I don’t want your pity,” Brandi spat out. She finished off her drink in one gulp and turned to pour another. “God, Eryn. You take everything for granted. You can’t even see what a good friend I’ve been.”
Eryn’s jaw dropped in disbelief.
Brandi waved her hands, her drink spilling over the edge of the glass. “And what about Bryce? Look at the way you treat him.”
“You don’t understand, Brandi. Bryce and I…”
Brandi laughed. “Oh yes I do. I understand that you don’t give a shit about him. Do you have any idea what he feels? While you’re off taking pictures of those pathetic homeless people, he’s home alone. Not to mention,” she said, poking Eryn in the chest, “that you’re running around with another guy. God, how many men do you have to have?”
“I told you before! I am not running around with anyone!”
“Whatever.”
“Bryce and I are just fine. We just need to work on some things.”
“And you think getting rid of me is going to save your marriage? Ha! You’re already doomed. He needs a woman who will take care of him.” Brandi was quiet for a moment, eyes narrowed, and then her voice lowered. “Or should I say he needed a woman to take care of him.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Eryn’s stomach lurched. She and Bryce would be going away in a couple of days. Was he trying to make their marriage better or was he covering up guilt?
Brandi brought her glass up to her lips, looking at Eryn over the top of the glass. The glint in her friend’s eyes was sharp and almost, Eryn thought with a shiver, evil.
Brandi’s lips curled in perverse satisfaction at the pain she was inflicting on Eryn, seemingly in no hurry to end the suspense.
Eryn’s mind reeled with the implications, but she needed to know the truth directly from Brandi’s lips. She closed the space between them with two quick steps before slapping the glass out of Brandi’s hand, sending it crashing against the wall.
“Answer me, Brandi! What the hell did you mean by that?” Eryn’s breaths were coming in quick bursts now, her patience completely tapped out.
Brandi didn’t flinch as she studied Eryn’s face coolly. “You don’t like it when you don’t have all the answers, do you?”
Eryn straightened her shoulders as hate surged through her body. She spent too many years of being a doormat for Brandi, making sure she was okay, and now here the woman stood, vile words dripping from her mouth.
Brandi’s attention flickered over Eryn’s shoulder for a second, then she looked back in her eyes. “I finally took something that was yours.” Her smile grew wider. “And he was absolutely incredible.” She leaned forward, inches from Eryn’s face. “An animal,” she whispered.
“God damn it, Brandi!” From the doorway, Bryce’s voice shook the room.
“I guess you’re really going to kick me out now, huh?” Brandi shrugged as she stared at Eryn.
Eryn felt the blood drain out of her face and pool somewhere in her feet. She couldn’t focus and a sharp pain ripped through her chest as she tried to take a breath.
Bryce and Brandi? But he hates her, doesn’t he? Why won’t he say something? God, Bryce, why are you taking so long to deny it?
“Bryce?” Eryn’s voice sounded pitifully woeful to her own ears. A pregnant silence was her only answer. She bit back the nausea that was coming in waves, and then her anger exploded, shattering her confusion into pieces. She looked up at her long-time friend.
Brandi, whose face was cocky with victory, didn’t look so much like her friend any more.
Eryn lost what little control she had left and locked onto Brandi’s gaze like a vice.
“You!” Eryn shoved Brandi in the chest as hard as she could. “Bitch!”
Before Bryce could reach her, Eryn had slammed her fist into Brandi’s jaw, sending her crashing over the bar stools. Eryn lunged for her, but Bryce was there, grabbing Eryn by the waist and pulling her back.
“Don’t touch me!” Eryn shook him free and backed herself against the wall, cradling her throbbing hand against her body. The touch of his hands sickened her. She glared at Brandi who sat tangled up in the bar stool legs with a look of surprise on her face.
Brandi kicked the stools from her feet and got up, dabbing the corner of her mouth.
“Huh.” She studied the blood that stained her hand. “I think you just lost your crown, Miss Congeniality.”
“Get out.” Eryn ordered.
“I’ll just get my stuff.”
“Leave it. I’ll send it to the nearest homeless shelter.”
“Yeah, right.” Brandi’s voice was slick with defiance. She turned to the bedrooms. “I’ll just be a minute.”
“Take one more step in the wrong direction and I’ll have you arrested for trespassing.” Eryn reached for her cell phone and flipped open the top.
Brandi turned to look first at Eryn and then at Bryce.
“You’re right Bryce,” she said. “She wouldn’t understand.” She grabbed her purse from the counter and walked out of the house, slamming the door behind her.
Eryn didn’t realize she was holding her breath until she heard the sound of the car’s engine finally fade away.
Emptiness filled up her lungs and quickly spread to her arms and legs. It was almost as if she expected this betrayal, for the hurt was eerily familiar. Her body shook, racking hard with tears, with anger, and with pain. The world as she’d known it had just dropped out from under her feet and she was falling hard and fast.
Oh, God. Tell me this isn’t happening. Tell me this was just a big misunderstanding. Please, please, please, oh, please.
She waited, her eyes scrunched too tight, but there was no sound, no answer to her prayers. No one was going to fix this for her. She drew a ragged breath t
hrough the big, empty hole in her soul.
Finally opening her eyes and straightening her shoulders, she released the grip she’d had on her cell phone and snapped it shut.
“Eryn. Eryn. I’m sorry.” Bryce made no attempt to come closer.
Finding her voice, Eryn was surprised at her calmness. She made herself look at him. “I should have seen this coming.”
“I had sex with her because I was pissed off! I was angry because you are having an affair! I know it didn’t make it right, Eryn, but still…”
“What? You think I’m having an affair?”
He pulled out the crumpled paper that he had shoved in his pocket and held it up to her.
Her face went white. She recognized the pink tinted page from her journal. Brandi had made damn sure the knife was going to go deep.
“Do you deny it?” The look on his face told Eryn he thought he had her. That little piece of paper gave him a valid reason for what he did.
Eryn shook her head at irony. The words she wrote to heal herself were the words that ultimately caused her pain.
“Why didn’t you just ask me about it?” When he didn’t answer, she just sighed and shook her head. “Those are just words on a piece of paper, Bryce. Call it what you want, but I wasn’t having an affair.”
Without waiting for a response, she put her phone down and turned to go upstairs.
It wasn’t until much later, deep into the night, that Eryn felt Bryce get into bed. Her back was to him, shielding herself. He laid on his back, not touching her, his breath smelling of alcohol. A lot of it. There was no sleep for either of them.
Her anger was gone now and she was ready to tally her options. She knew she was going to leave. Bryce had given her no choice.
Chapter 34
Galen stopped mid-stride and paused, listening. Silence drifted through the corridor. Perhaps it was nothing after all, he thought. Then he heard it again. It was muffled, but it was the unmistakable sound of crying - painful, full of despair, soul-breaking tears.
He followed the sound to Sara’s chamber and knocked lightly on the door. “Sara, ‘tis Galen.”
“Leave me be.”
Her voice was anguished, and though he avoided Catherine’s sister as much as possible, he could hardly ignore such suffering in any woman. He knocked harder. “Please, Sara, open the door.”
A few moments passed before Galen heard the bar slip free and the door slowly open, revealing Sara’s tear-stained face. She turned very slowly and walked to the window. Leaning against the sill, Sara seemed lost and deflated, her shoulders bowing under an unseen weight. Outside, the sky was gray, with darker clouds beginning to billow.
Galen closed the door behind him. “What troubles you, Sara?” he asked.
She stood, her silhouette etched against the darkening sky.
Grasping her shoulders, he gently turned her towards him. In the fading light she looked at him with red-rimmed, swollen eyes.
“What is it?” he asked again.
“I know not what to do.” Her tears flowed freely again and Galen took her in his arms and held her close, rocking her back and forth, murmuring soothing words.
“It is all her doing, you know. She tries to take everything away from me!”
Galen cringed at the anger and jealousy in Sara’s words.
“She has done this to me! This time, I will have my revenge!” Sara pushed herself away from Galen, wiping away the tears from her cheeks. Hatred and vengeance washed over her face. “Do you know, Galen, that she writes him letters? That she goes to him when his ship arrives in port?” Her hands clenched at her sides. “You, Lord Oakley, everyone grovels at her feet. She plays you all for fools.” She paced the room, fueled by her own anger. “She chooses and tosses men aside at her whim.” She stood straighter, her mood suddenly calm. “But she has not won. No.” She looked down lovingly at her hands, lightly touching her belly. Her voice was soft. “I shall be a lady in my own right for I carry the child of Lord Oakley.”
Galen stared, his jaw slack. Had he heard her clearly? Aye, from the way she stroked her stomach so protectively, he knew what he heard was the truth. The muscles in his jaw tightened as he fought to control his growing rage.
“He has gone too far this time. I shall rip him apart limb from limb,” he said through clenched teeth.
“Nay, you will do no such thing!” Sara stomped her foot.
His steel blue eyes turned icy as he regarded her. “Did he force himself upon you?”
Sara tossed her head, standing tall, chin tilted upwards. “I went to him freely. He said he wanted me. He said I was beautiful.”
Galen closed his eyes against his rage. “Do you believe you are the sole female he has ever told that to?”
She glared at him.
“Does he know of this babe you carry?”
“He knows. I told him when we stopped for the night on our way to Rynonshire.” She frowned a little. “He was surprised, but he will become accustomed to the notion of being a father once he and I have wed.”
Galen grabbed her arms, wanting to shake sense into her. “You believe he will wed you?”
Sara winced under the pressure of his grasp. “You are hurting me!” she cried.
He quickly released his grip and backed away.
She rubbed her arms. “I confided in you because we fight the same foe - Catherine. She takes our love, but does not return it. She did not want Lord Oakley, so I offered myself in her stead and he accepted me, willingly.”
“He has you fooled,” he gritted. “He will not marry you. He only beds women for his pleasure.”
Sara’s eyes flashed dangerously. “Am I so undesirable that no man would wish to wed me?”
“Do not twist my words, Sara,” Galen snapped. “What will you do if he will not acknowledge that you bear his child?”
She cried, panic in her voice. “He will! He must! I have been with no other, I swear!” She flung her arms around Galen’s waist and buried her face in his chest.
Pressed against him now was not the woman she wanted to be, but a scared child. His anger rested heavily on Lord Oakley.
“Hush now Sara.” He comforted her as well as he could, but he knew he was ill equipped to deal with such matters. “Go to Catherine. She will know what to do.”
“She will hate me.”
Galen lifted Sara’s chin so she would see him. “She will not. She is not our foe. She loves you and only wants what is best for you.”
“I wish that were the truth,” Sara muttered. She took a step back and squared her shoulders. “You will leave Lord Oakley alone and you will not speak of this to anyone. I will make him see how blessed we are and prove to him that I shall make him a good wife.” With her chin set in determination, she pushed past Galen and hastened to the door, ducking into the corridor before her tears started anew.
≈
“You are what?” hissed Catherine.
“I am with child,” said Sara, her lower lip quivering and tears pooling in her eyes.
Catherine was unable to speak, her shock so great. Her little sister, so young, so innocent, was telling her she was carrying a babe. Gone was the manipulating, selfish girl that had continually defied her at every turn. Sara’s eyes were searching hers, pleading for some understanding and compassion.
“Please Catherine. Please do not look at me like so! I did not know!”
“Did you not stop to think of the consequences?” Catherine, finding her voice, allowed her anger to saturate her words. “Who was it that bedded you?”
Sara shook her head, tears steaming down her cheeks. Her words tripped over choked sobs. “I tried to tell him, but he would not accept it. He called me a whore. He told me if I ever told anyone it was his child he would never admit to it!” She covered her face with her hands, tears spilling out between her fingers.
“Whoever took advantage of your innocence will surely pay.” Catherine lowered her voice in an effort to control herself. “You must
answer me, Sara. Who was the vile creature that seduced you?”
Sara looked up, eyes red and puffy, but chin set in defiance. “I am not an innocent child, dear sister; not a little girl that no man would notice. While the most handsome nobles and even lowly merchants court you, everyone thinks me too young, too plain to have suitors.” Her face became hard with hatred. “But I am not too young to be a seductress! It was your beloved Jonathan I seduced, Catherine! It is his child I carry!”
She turned and ran from the room.
Catherine froze where she stood. Sara’s parting words echoed in her ears, so loud she thought her head would split. Her heart was aching in a way she did not know possible. Had Jonathan indeed play her for a fool? Had he given his kisses and touches – and his seed – to her sister? Had he merely told Catherine all the things she wanted to hear, meaning none of them?
She thought of the softness of Jonathan’s kiss, the warmth of his touch upon her skin, and the words he whispered as he claimed her as his own. Her knees could no longer hold her and she sank heavily to the floor. She buried her face in her hands as if the darkness behind her lowered lids would shield her from more pain.
But no such relief would be gifted upon her. She was forced to look up when Jarrid ran in breathless.
“Milady!” His chest heaved with effort. “Something is not aright with Lady Sara! She has taken her horse and ridden out of the gates like the devil himself was on her heels!”
Catherine barely heard his words. Sara…horse…gates.
“Milady!” Jarrid crouched before her. “She looked to be a madwoman! She is headed to the cliffs!”
The cliffs. Shame struck her heart. Sara had come to her seeking help, and Catherine had chastised her, shouting instead of soothing, accusing instead of understanding. Though Sara’s revelation cut her to the bone, she was nevertheless Catherine’s sister. Sara, in her blind rage, was headed for danger and Catherine would not fail her now.
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