Catherine closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. He did not know the right of it. If she were indeed so steadfast and kind, Sara would still be alive.
He lifted her chin. “You cannot be to blame for Sara’s death, Catherine,” he said, as if knowing her thoughts. “Sara was headstrong and irrational at times. You could no more tame such a spirit as to capture a bolt of lightning on the stormiest of nights.” He cradled her against his chest, resting his chin gently upon her head. “I pray the heavens have patience with her soul.”
“Aye,” Catherine agreed.
“I must ask something of you, Catherine,” her father said, pulling away once again and holding her hands. For a long moment he looked at her, seemingly struggling with his next words. “I had made this decision some time ago, before I left for Rynonshire, but it is just now that I have realized the importance of that decision.” His eyes shimmered. “Now, even more than before, I need to know you are protected.”
Catherine searched his eyes, her brows drawn together. “Protected from what?”
His placed his finger gently across her lips to silence her. “Please understand my reasons when I ask you to marry Galen and accompany him to Rynonshire. He is strong and capable. He will be a good husband to you and most importantly, he will keep you safe.” He managed to raise the corners of his mouth in a smile. “Perhaps I may even hope to see grandchildren someday.” He grazed the underside of her chin with his finger.
With her father looking at her as such, so sad, yet so hopeful of a brighter future, she had no will to deny him. Jonathan’s betrayal and Sara’s death had left a vast, empty space inside of her that she feared she would soon lose herself within. Perhaps Galen could help fill that void.
“You and Galen have known each other for many summers, Catherine, and unless I have misread your feelings for him, I believe you care for him.”
Catherine moved her head in a barely perceptible nod.
“That will be enough for now. The passion and love will come, just as it did for me and your mother.”
She wrapped her arms around his waist, wishing suddenly to be a child once again, free of the burdens she now faced.
He squeezed her tightly, placing a kiss atop her hair. “Soon we will have a quiet ceremony.”
When he left her chamber, his footsteps were not as heavy as they once were. She was grateful to have made her father happy. She knew she would make Galen happy. Only time will tell if she would be happy as well.
A glint of the ocean drew her attention to the window. She would miss waking up to see the water stretching endlessly beyond her imagination. It would be difficult to leave Elderidge, for she had come to love the tranquility the ocean offered. She would forever remember the way the waters moved, the color of its moods, and the strength beneath the surface.
So vastly different than the lands of Rynonshire, where the castle sits high atop a mountain, skirted by rolling hills, with the only water being a healthy river that wound its way down from the mountain and bordered the village below. At Rynonshire she would start anew. There she would try to forget.
≈
A heady fragrance saturated the air, daring anyone who breathed its perfume not to feel the joy in simple pleasures of life. Color was everywhere, red, pink, purple, and blue.
Catherine grudgingly admitted that being outside did indeed lift her spirits a bit. She occupied herself with gathering bouquets of flowers for tonight, when a small banquet would be held to celebrate her marriage to Galen. The preparations kept her from thinking about Jonathan, who was still anchored at the port, waiting.
She had rejected Jonathan’s repeated requests to meet with her, knowing the futility of such an encounter. What could he possibly say that would change her mind about him and what had happened?
Catherine turned to the sound of pounding feet along the path.
“Milady!” Emelie’s ran to her, her voice urgent. “Master Jonathan and his men are gathered at the gates!”
Catherine’s heart skipped a beat at the mention of his name and the basket of flowers she held slipped from her hand, scattering the flowers upon the ground.
She did not want to see Jonathan again. She did not want to open the wound that had hardly had a chance to heal, but it appeared she had no choice. She had to see him before Galen did.
Catherine ran past Emelie. She would not have any more blood on her hands.
≈
“I believe I made it clear that you are not welcome here,” Galen growled at the cluster of men who stood beyond the gates.
It was a sight to see. Dozens of men gathered on either side of the gate, throwing weighted stares at each other like daggers. Lord Oakley, present to attend the marriage ceremony, stood with a cocky stance behind Galen, a twisted grin distorting his already sordid face. So much anger and distrust was spread thickly in the air.
Catherine took a deep breath before speaking. “Galen, allow me to speak to him.” Catherine’s voice sounded calmer than she felt.
“Nay, Catherine,” said Galen his eyes not leaving Jonathan.
“Please, give me only but a moment, so that we may put this to rest.”
Galen turned to face Catherine, judging what he could of her intentions. “To what end, Catherine?”
When Galen stepped back, her senses were assaulted by Jonathan’s presence. Dressed in black, Jonathan’s mood was as somber as his clothes. His eyes were stricken with confusion and grief, and were full of questions. His face was a mask of seriousness she did not know he possessed.
She held Jonathan’s gaze as she spoke to Galen. “I will not have you or your men fighting with them. There are things that need to be said. Things he must understand.”
Galen looked from Catherine to Jonathan, and then gave the signal for the gate to be opened.
“Catherine -- ,” Jonathan started.
She interrupted him. “Sara died with your child growing inside of her.” She heard Galen’s sharp intake of breath and turned to him. “Tis true, Galen. Sara told me he bedded her.”
The sound of swords being unsheathed cut through the air. All of her father’s men were poised, ready to defend Sara’s honor.
A muscle worked in Galen’s jaw, his eyes wide with surprise. His lips parted, but after a sweeping glace at Catherine and Jonathan, he thought better of it and clenched his jaw shut.
“Well, well,” Lord Oakley chuckled quietly to him. “It looks like your little problem is solved.”
Galen turned sharply toward him, his eyes slivers of ice. “Do not deceive yourself that you are free from blame. I will see you rot in hell for what you did to Sara,” he hissed.
Lord Oakley raised his brows. “So why do you not strike me down? Why do you not give the truth to Catherine?”
Galen held a scathing look at Lord Oakley before allowing a glance at Catherine and Jonathan.
“I thought as much,” Lord Oakley smirked.
Galen whipped back around and ground out his warning. “If you value your life with your cock intact, you will say nothing.”
Lord Oakley, stepped back, and with lids lowered in submissiveness, inclined his head in acknowledgment.
Catherine eyed them both warily. It unnerved her to see their heads so close together, hissing words between them.
Galen turned back to Catherine. “What will you have me do?” He swept his hand, indicating his men.
She looked around her. Both sides had knives and swords drawn, ready to fight. “Pull your men back and let me speak to him alone.”
Galen gave the order and he and his men stepped back.
Catherine turned back to Jonathan, waiting for him to signal for his men to retreat with their weapons as well.
They stared at each other for what seemed to her an eternity before he stepped closer. His desperation was palpable.
“Catherine,” Jonathan’s eyes were pleading. “You must believe me. If she carried a child, it was not mine.”
Catherine spoke as if she
did not hear him. “My sister was easy prey for any man.”
“I did not touch her! You must believe me.”
“Did you whisper the same words in her ears as you did in mine?”
He closed the gap between them and grabbed her by the arms. “Hear what I say.”
She jerked free. “I have heard too much already,” she hissed. She could no longer hold at bay the hurt that the memories brought forth. “You made me feel things I never thought possible, not only with my body, but in my heart and my soul. I believed in you! I believed I had a choice in life! I believed a man and woman …” She drew her fist to her mouth to stifle a cry of anguish.
She closed her eyes tight as she fought for control. “I gave you everything I had. How could you betray me?”
Both hands shot up and his fingers raked through his hair in frustration. “Someone plays us for fools, Catherine! There is no truth to this!” He shot a scathing look at Galen.
“You call my sister a liar?” Her voice turned cool. Catherine did not want to believe her sister would purposefully cause her such immense pain. “Did you know her well enough to believe that she was capable of such lies, or did you just exchange pleasantries before you bedded her?”
Jonathan stood straighter, stung by the accusation. “No, Catherine, I did not know your sister, but you know me.” A heavy breath seemed to deflate him, leaving him without weapons to fight. Hands out to his sides, palms up, he bade her to look at him fully. “Stop and think with your heart, Catherine. Am I capable of what you say? Think upon it. You know the truth of it.”
“Aye,” she said. “I know but one truth.” Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears. “The truth is I gave my soul to you. Now tell me…how do I live without it?” She clenched her hands against the choking sobs that threatened to spill forth.
His mouth suddenly softened and love shone radiantly in his eyes. “Can you not see?” Jonathan said. “I, too, have pledged my heart and soul to you.” He lowered his voice so only she could hear. “What we did, what we shared, was more than making love. We became one. When I travel across the seas, I feel you here,” he said, splaying a hand atop his heart. “You are a part of me now. You complete me. There can be no other.”
She fought to close her heart against his words, but she had felt it too, the blending of their souls. She quickly strengthened her resolve.
“You either loved us both or you loved neither of us.” Her voice quivered. “I will not tolerate either.”
He moved closer. His eyes held her with such intensity, she gasped.
“Your head denies what your heart knows,” he said softly, but with conviction.
She tried to step back, but his voice was a silky balm over her battered heart.
He spoke again, bridging the distance between them by gently grasping her hand. “A love like ours knows no time or distance. You will remember my words, Catherine. You will remember the night we bound our souls together for eternity, and when you do, you need only to whisper my name and I will come. I will be your sun, your moon, and every star in the heavens.”
Jonathan looked past her shoulder as Galen stepped forward, a look of impatience on his stern face.
“Even if I were to believe you,” Catherine said, staying Galen with an upraised hand, “there is no choice now. I am to marry Galen. Today, before nightfall.”
A shadow darkened Jonathan’s beautiful face. His back stiffened as he regarded her. “But you always have a choice, Catherine.” Jonathan tapped his chest. “Listen to your heart. Do not leave it to others to decide which path you take.”
She shook her head. Her heart begged her to listen, but Catherine quickly pushed it down to a place where it would no longer have a voice. She must stay strong for Galen, for her father, and for Sara. Her eyes stung with despair.
Jonathan’s chin fell to his chest and stayed there for long moments before he raised his face once again.
He reached up to wipe the tears that trickled down her cheeks. “Do what you must, Catherine. I want only to be cause for your joy, not your sorrow. You may turn me away, but know this. It matters not how much time or space separates us. You will always have my heart.” His hand dropped to his side as he drew a deep breath.
Jonathan signaled to the others to follow him and with one last look at Galen, his eyes narrowed in warning. “Have a care with her. Make her happy.”
Catherine turned and ran away, unable to see Jonathan walk out of her life. She ran up the steps to the great hall, past her father, past a silently weeping Emelie, and fled straight to her chambers.
≈
One last time Catherine watched the sails silhouetted against the setting sun. The ocean was ablaze with the colors of hot, fiery passion, reminding her of the passionate heat she no longer felt. Perhaps with time, though, she could feel it with Galen.
Only an hour earlier, a brief ceremony had bound them together for the rest of their lives. Before God, family, and friends, she had vowed to be a good wife to Galen.
She raised a goblet of wine to her lips and drank deeply. Galen would be here soon, but first Emelie would see to it that she was readied for her wedding night. From this night forward she and Galen would share a bed. She would be naked to him in body, if not in soul.
Catherine finished the wine. She had no illusions about tonight. Galen would never wholly forgive her for giving herself to Jonathan. How much more would she put Galen through? How much more will he tolerate? She hung her head. It would take a lifetime for her to make amends to him.
The door swung open and Emelie hurried in, pulling Elizabeth behind her.
“Milady! Elizabeth overhead something that I think you should know.” Emelie’s cheeks were flushed with excitement.
Catherine was in no mood for surprises. “What is it, Elizabeth? Speak quickly.”
Emelie elbowed Elizabeth’s ribs.
Grimacing, Elizabeth spoke. “The babe that Lady Sara carried was Lord Oakley’s, not Master Jonathan’s.”
Catherine paled and struggled to breathe as the words hit her like a blow. She looked to Emelie. “Does she speak the truth?”
Emelie quickly nodded.
Catherine grabbed Elizabeth by her shoulders. “How do you know of this?”
Elizabeth scrunched her face. “I was at Lord Oakley’s castle, milady. I heard him and Lady Sara arguing in the garden. He threatened her life if she told anyone of it. He called her a whore!”
“Milady!” Emelie said excitedly. “’Twas but a lie that Lady Sara spoke! Master Jonathan never betrayed you!”
Catherine released Elizabeth’s shoulders and dropped her hands to her side. Dear God. What have I done? She stepped back, seeking a chair to lean upon. Jonathan, her Jonathan, told her what her heart did, indeed, know to be true. If she thought she could feel no worse, she found she was wrong. She had denied his truth and turned a deaf ear on his pleas. She gave him no reason to fight for her. She let out a small whimper of agony.
“Catherine.”
Her hand covered her quick intake of air as she turned to the door. She had not heard Galen come in. How much had he heard?
The girls picked up their skirts and bobbed a curtsey before slipping out the door.
Catherine turned quickly to the window, swiping at the tears that fell.
“Galen, I fear I am not yet ready.” She said with a shaky laugh. The ache welled up again. If the lie was hard to bear, the truth now crushed her. Catherine had sent Jonathan away. She was wed to Galen. And now, there was no going back.
Galen quickly crossed the room and gathered her in his arms, pulling her back against his chest.
Straining for a glimpse of the horizon, she said a silent prayer and sent her love on wings to Jonathan. She gathered the memories of what they shared, his touch, his laughter, the intense and passionate glint in his eyes, and held them in her heart for a moment before lovingly bundling them together and placing them in the dark place within her broken heart. There they would stay, safe for t
he rest of her life. There they would stay until she needed to draw upon them for strength, for light, and for love.
As if reading her thoughts, Galen pressed his cheek against hers. “All I have ever wanted was the chance to love you,” he said quietly. “I vow to make you happy. I vow to make you forget him, and I will do whatever is in my power to make your heart mine.”
Catherine closed her eyes. Though that will never be enough, it will have to do.
Chapter 37
“You’re going to love living here, Eryn.” Melissa pushed open the freshly-painted pale-yellow door and led the way into the two-bedroom beach cottage.
Eryn stopped just inside the doorway, soaking it in. The scent of lemon cleanser lingered in the air, mingling with the fragrance of port-wine magnolias and Sterling Silver roses stuffed into wide-mouthed vases. A soft light bathed the entranceway, drifting down from the skylight above them.
“You called at exactly the right time. The former tenant just moved out. He decided he needed the Arizona heat.” She beamed at Eryn. “It’s like it was meant to be.”
As Eryn gazed around the room, she realized that this was the first time she had ever lived on her own. Right out of high school, she’d stepped from her parents’ home into the house she shared with Bryce. She had molded herself to him and his life. But now, this was hers. Her space, her life, her choices. This was her space that she would soon fill with her own music, her own thoughts, and her own dreams. Most importantly, her photography will adorn the walls.
Melissa took the camera pack Eryn held and placed it on the polished hardwood floor. Straightening up, Melissa let out a soft breath, concern etched in her brow. Her knuckles grazed Eryn’s arm.
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”
Catching her friend’s hand, Eryn gave it a reassuring squeeze. “Yeah. I’m going to be just fine.”
She looked around at the chic furnishings, the varying shades of brown and pastel colors that soaked the walls, the over-sized pillows stacked in the corner, and the built-in bookshelf with its collection of shells. The cheery mango-yellow of the kitchen peeked out from around the corner, brightened by the sun blazing through the bay window above the sink.
Again Page 23