Both had claimed to love me but all they’d done was use and discard me when I was no longer of any importance in their life.
True, Hardy was overly possessive, had too much passion to be contained in one person and loved me more than one person should ever love another but he’d never broken a promise that concerned me. He would lay his life on the line if it meant keeping me safe—this I had no doubt about. I never had to question his love, trust, devotion, respect or commitment to me because they were boundless.
That was part of the problem. Hardy would do anything for me and with me, there were no bounds of his feelings and emotions. He literally was crazy in love with me, and would do anything to keep me, even if it took scouring the earth and decimating a family that had nothing to do with one madman’s actions.
No one had ever felt like this about me before so I didn’t know how to react. I was on the defense when I should have been playing offense. I could talk him down but instead I was always threatening, goading, pushing him further into a corner until he felt like he had to show that he loved, adored and cared for me more than he did for himself or his own safety.
I’d caused him to be this way, and a small part of me hated myself for doing it. If I wanted us to last, I had to change my way of thinking the same way I was asking him to change his. This frightened me just as much—if not more—than it frightened him but it had to be done.
Our kiss ended just as abruptly as it began. “Take off your clothes.”
“Why?” he asked, his blue eyes bright with emotions that didn’t need words.
“Because,” I began as I tore off the tight t-shirt he was wearing, “we’re gonna fuck.”
“Damn, woman. You don’t have to ask me twice.”
When Talia demanded we fuck, she wasn’t messin’ about.
We fucked all right. For almost half the damn day. My dick used all three of her holes more than once and I ate so much of her pussy, I felt like I was at a fucking buffet but we came together in such a deeply spiritual way that there was no way in hell, I could ever not love this woman.
She got me—every fucked up, scarred part of me that wasn’t on display for the world to see and I fucking had her. Pegged down to every goddamn insecurity she had about men, and relationships in general.
She never had any intention of ever leaving me but she also didn’t know what to do when I became overly possessive of her so I would have to put that shit on lockdown and stop trying to hold on so damn tight. She didn’t understand a man like me loving her unconditionally no matter what she did, how she acted, what she said or how she responded to my behavior.
I could never hurt a hair on her head but I wouldn’t allow her to walk out of my life either. That shit wasn’t gonna happen. I’d give her all the freedom in the world and she could commit the ultimate sin like fuck another man and I would still claim her as my own.
I’d never felt that way about anyone before. I didn’t even know how to handle the emotions I had for her because they were as new to me as they were to her. She was my entire fucking world—her and my kids. Without them, I was nothing. I knew that, and now she knew it too.
We lay in bed, exhausted. My dick was so fucking sore but it was worth it just to have her wrapped in my arms, her damp hair tangled with loose waves upon my sweaty chest. We both stunk of sex and our own bodily fluids but I was in sheer fucking heaven. This bitch was mine and I owned her: heart, mind, body and soul. No one would ever be able to have her the way I did because I’d branded her and I dared a motherfucker to try to take her away from me. He’d be one sorry son of a cunt who’d hurt like he never dreamed possible.
“What are you thinking about?” she asked, her voice hoarse from screaming my name so many times and from all the orgasms she’d had.
“How I’m gonna miss the fuck outta you while you’re gone for a month.” I kissed her forehead and allowed my lips to linger there, my nose inhaling the scent of her expensive shampoo and hair products.
“You’ll make do. You’ve got two free hands, don’t you?”
I slapped her ass playfully. “Yeah but it’s not quite the same as being inside your pussy or ass or mouth now is it?”
“Use some of my favorite lotion and get busy, fella. You’ll feel just like you’re inside of me.”
“It’s gonna take more than your lotion and my calloused palm to make me feel like I’m inside of you, love, but thanks for thinking about me.”
Talia laughed out loud. “My God, you are so crude but I don’t love you any less. Think of it as a way to spend more time with the kids, get to know Beatriz and Kassandra. Ask them to teach you how to feed Eden, how to rock her to sleep when she’s fussy, hold her when she’s insecure. She may look like you but she’s got a lot of me in her you know.”
It was my turn to laugh out loud. “Goddamn, Tal, I’m not a Neanderthal. I already know how to do all that shit. What do you think I did when I came home from pussy parties after I took a shower? You were usually passed out from being at the studio all day. I’d go into Kaelan’s room and just watch him rest while holding Eden in my arms. That’s probably why she doesn’t always go to sleep after a feeding. She was used to being in my arms for an hour or two, even after she did drift off to sleep. I’d hold her, inhale her scent and watch her sleep because she looked so fuckin’ peaceful. She made me feel like everything was right with the world. It was a great feelin’ . . . one I often didn’t want to let go of, not even at four in the morning.”
She slapped my chest. “You bastard. You’re the reason why she cries if I put her back in that extravagant fucking crib too soon after a feeding. I bet you Kassandra and Beatriz do it too. They probably hold her for an hour or so when all I want is to get some rest.”
“Who do you think I got it from? Kassandra was the first to tell me that she often didn’t like being on her own in the crib and sought the touch of another human being. There were nights I would find either her or Beatriz, fast asleep with Eden in their arms, wrapped in that damn contraption so she would be pressed against their breasts and could hear their heartbeats. It works you know. We all crave the touch of another. It’s a living thing—species, especially mammals—don’t like to be on their own.” I wrapped my arms around her and held her close.
“I see the beast wants to play,” she teased as my hard-on pressed into her stomach.
“Not yet. The beast is as beat up, sore and bruised as your beautiful pussy. He can chill a bit. I’m not eighteen anymore. You’ve worn me out—”
“I’ve worn you out? Motherfucker please! After you beat my pussy up like Mike and fucked my ass up like Ike, I’ve worn you out. I’ll be walking bowlegged for a goddamn week thanks to you.” Talia exclaimed indignantly.
“Yeah but you love me though, right?”
“Yes, you asshole, I love you.”
“Good, because bitch, I love you too. You and the kids—you’re my world, and I don’t think it’s possible to love three people as much I do all of you but you know what?”
She looked into my eyes, her pale green irises bright. “What?”
“Every day, I find myself loving all of you a little bit more. Who knew this fucked up heart of mine could carry so much warmth and emotion for anyone? I never felt it about myself, not ever, until I met you.” I kissed her nose and she laughed out loud. It was musical and lit up the room.
“Well, I’ll let you in on a little secret. You make me feel like the luckiest woman alive so I guess that makes us even.”
We stared at one another for what felt like forever before we burst into laughter together.
Church had just let out as the guys and I all walked out only to find Catrin and Eve in the clubhouse. The Saint Slappers still around were busy cleaning the clubhouse while Chantal, Estelle, and Harley were busy making breakfast.
Hailey’s sister had decided to stick around after Winter’s Regret left on their month long tour and I had to admit it was nice having another decent woman around who woul
dn’t fall to her knees and pull out a member’s cock at the most inopportune moments.
I didn’t know exactly what she and Razr’s status were; they acted like good friends rather than lovers but then again, maybe that’s what they both needed. They had this weird way of communicating where her seaweed green eyes would glance into his and they both seemed like they knew what the other was thinking.
She was a carbon copy of her father though her skin was tanned the perfect shade of brown, and her curly dark auburn hair almost reached mid-back. In fact, if each sibling didn’t share different combinations of their parents’ features, it would be hard to peg them as sisters at all because neither looked a damn thing like the other.
I stopped concentrating about Harley though the moment Eve and Catrin walked up to me. They both wore designer pants suits—Eve’s was gray while Catrin’s was a royal blue. Both had minimal makeup and their hair was coiffed to perfection. I had no idea how Eve was going to get away with allowing Catrin to go undercover. She couldn’t look like a chick from the wrong side of the tracks if she tried. Not with her creamy skin, doe-like features and innocence swirling in those hazel-blue eyes of hers.
“Hello Dex and Maarten,” Eve greeted with more warmth than usual.
The other guys left our area and headed to the bar to get served breakfast while we stood in the corner, not far from where we’d just held church.
“What’s up?” Pyro asked.
“Well, we’ve just gotten the go-ahead. As we speak, all the White Knight members are being rounded up,” she replied.
“That’s good news, right?”
Catrin nodded her head. “The problem is someone got word about the bust and told them. All we managed to catch were patched members but Stella and Brooklyn are in the wind. So are all the founding members who held positions on the Council. We don’t have any VPs, Sergeant-At-Arms, Road Captains, Secretaries or Treasurers. From either Brad or Nel’s charter clubs.”
“Shit!” I banged the wall with the palm of my hand in disgust.
“You think Mira said anything?” Eve asked.
Pyro’s ice blue eyes widened in shock. “Are you talking about my old lady? She’s fuckin’ laid up here in the clubhouse about to pop any moment. You wanna ask her? She’s in my room down the hall.”
“It was just a question,” Catrin replied calmly. “We don’t know how else they all managed to get away.”
“Maybe Nel never making it back to Black Oak was a sign somethin’ was up? Who the fuck knows what he told them before he came here. Not to mention Brad disappearing. It’s not like he’s in a room where he can call them and tell ‘em everything is okay. I’m sure Stella and Serra talk—they’re cousins aren’t they?” I offered in way of an explanation.
“Sisters,” a female voice corrected.
We turned to see a very pregnant Mira with a fashionable white peasant blouse and pale yellow maxi skirt holding a hand against her back as she walked toward us in a pair of daisy yellow flip-flops.
“Did your water break?” Pyro questioned nervously.
“Do you see a trail of liquid behind me? Course not.” She turned toward me, her ice blue eyes cold, almost murderous. “They’re not just dumb hicks you know. Jake woulda known somethin’ was up especially after she started going out with Quinn. They expected to lose me but they didn’t count on losin’ Marion. Believe me, my family is a lot like a cult. When shit starts to look bad, they prepare for the worse.”
“Is there anywhere they would go? They have to be someplace. Have they left the country?” Catrin inquired.
“All I know is they have a safe house or ranch of some kind. It’s in Montana or Wyoming—I get ‘em confused. Or maybe it was a diversion tactic and they’re in California or Oregon. At this point, they can be anywhere but they’re in the wind.”
Mira shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. “That’s all I can tell you. And no, Miss Ivy League FBI agent, I didn’t tell my family shit about anything because Pyro doesn’t talk about his job with me. I don’t ask either because frankly, I don’t want to know. Plausible deniability and all of that.”
“I’m sorry, Ms. Decker, I meant no offense—”
“Reynolds. My name is Mira Reynolds. Mira Decker died a long time ago,” she snapped before she walked over to the breakfast bar.
Pyro gazed at Catrin with a death glare. “Next time you accuse my old lady of somethin’, you fuckin’ clear it with me first.”
“Enough,” Eve said as she took over the conversation again. “We have Jake and Brad in custody. Time to make them earn their keep.”
“Damn straight,” Pyro offered.
“Catrin has never interrogated someone with witness protection. I need my two best officers on the job today so leave your cuts and follow me, please. You’ll be riding in a cage—or shall I say my SUV—today. Are you two ready for this?”
“There’s never a better time than the present,” I remarked dryly.
“Good. Then let’s go.”
Pyro and I looked at one another before we followed her out into the hot Vegas sun and climbed into the SUV.
I couldn’t help but smirk as the vehicle drove away from the clubhouse.
This was my life and although it was far from perfect, I had a beautiful ol’ lady, two wonderful kids, a job I truly did enjoy doing and on top of that, I got to break the law and get away with it. Who wouldn’t want to be apart of a one percent club?
Especially when that club was the Lucifer’s Saints.
Although it was shortly after three in the morning, I laid in my hotel bed, getting myself off at the same time Hardy was as he talked dirty into my ear. Well, near my ear. We were Skyping so he could watch me play with my pussy while he stroked his dick.
We both came at the same time as he said something about shoving two fingers up my asshole and I gushed all over my fingers.
“Oh my God,” I murmured as I slowly came down off a high that had my body soaring.
“Just another ten days of this shit, and you’ll be home, love,” Hardy replied.
“Yeah, I know, and I can’t wait.” I cleaned myself up with a warm towel I’d already prepared as I began to ask him about his day and what he had planned for the following day.
“Well, we got a breakthrough in the case so there’s that. I’ll be home until around five in the evening so if you want, call early and you can see the kids,” he said casually as he cleaned himself off with a handful of Kleenex.
“Where you goin’?” I asked nonchalantly.
“Now you know I can’t tell you that—it’s confidential. I won’t be here though but the kids are in good care. Trista, Chantal, Harley and Estelle are giving Kassandra and Beatriz the weekend off. They’re gonna be staying with the kids,” he explained.
“Why do I feel like it has more to do than them just being nice?”
“It does but you don’t have to know why. All you need to know is that they’re safe.”
“Okay. I trust you.” I sighed. “I also have a concert tonight since it’s technically Saturday so I will talk to you later today. Love you.”
“Love you, too. More than you know.”
I placed my fingers against my lips and tapped my phone before we ended our Skype call.
This was my life.
A husband who was both a good guy and a criminal, an awesome job as the lead singer of Winter’s Regret, two beautiful children and the occasional travel when I wasn’t writing songs or in the studio.
I loved it all and it was mine for as long I wanted it, and that was definitely for the rest of my life.
The ride continues with Cricket and Chantal’s story in
Ride To Vindication
Book #5 in The Rough Riders MC Series
Autumn, 2016
I couldn’t move.
My hands were tied behind my back with thick, industrial strength rope that chafed my skin, while my legs were also roped together at my ankles. I’d been sitting in the same position, n
ude and on threadbare mattress in a dank basement for so long, my whole body felt numb.
Every now and then, I’d fall to the side but the rancid smell of urine and other bodily fluids made me sick to my stomach. Knowing they were mine made it even worse.
I had no one to blame for my current predicament other than myself.
Perhaps my sister was right. Our aunt had had too much confidence in me, and my ability to pull off a delicate operation that required skill, finesse, and the right amount deception that I obviously didn’t possess yet.
Talia had told us both I wasn’t field ready but in my heart, I wanted to prove her wrong. She had this great career, glamorous life and sexy biker husband. A part of me wanted to root around in the filth and soot too. I wanted my perfect porcelain flesh sullied, and I craved the outrageously un-PC alpha male too. I wanted to know what it would be like to have all that manly flesh, covered in tattoos, smelling of motor oil, leather, and cigarettes to put his hands on my waist, grab me close and hold me like he’d never let me go.
I’d gotten what I wanted—all of that and more.
In fact, I made the impossible happen—a club member of the White Knights MC had fallen in love with me. And not just any member but the President of the only charter left.
Jake Decker.
After everything he’d been through and the club had gone through, they’d shifted through the detritus and built themselves back up, even if they couldn’t announce themselves to the world. After all, they were still fugitives—wanted by the FBI.
Still, they’d managed to survive, sold drugs, and lived right in the heart of Lake Tahoe though they’d left Nevada and set up shop on the California side—the rough part that wasn’t glitzy and featured gambling, money, and million dollar homes.
The Tahoe they resided in almost felt abandoned with its rough areas ripe for dope dealing, houses that had seen better days and deserted businesses between those that still managed to survive. We could have been in some forgotten area of Detroit and I doubt it would have looked much different.
Ride To The Edge (Lucifer's Saints MC) (Rough Riders MC Series Book 4) Page 17