“He’s trying to slam his balls in the door to get rid of the…” he trailed off as Cole dropped to the floor and started writhing around on his back.
“What the hell? It’s a couple of ant bites!”
Parker came back into the room at that moment. “Right Cole, we’re gonna get this onboard and it’ll help with the itching,” he said as Brett passed me his cell and went to help Parker get Cole off the floor and into the bed.
“Cut them off, please just cut them off,” the twat whined, screaming as he climbed onto the bed on his hands and knees. Making eye contact with Parker, I rolled my eyes. “They’re gonna explode!”
Turning back to Cole, I looked at the screen of Brett’s phone to make sure that I…”Holy shit!”
His back looked like he'd been bathing in poison oak and fire ants; what the shit had he done?
“My balls,” he whined, and that’s when I looked at them. One of the only things that my parents had ever done with me as a child was take me to the zoo once, and I remember there being a baboon that had a bigger more colorful ass than the others because he was the head of the troop. What I was looking at right now would have put him to shame. They were the size of what I’d imagine a rhino’s would be.
Brett was sniggering as he walked back to me and Parker looked like he was about to lose the tight hold he had on his self-control. It was the deep rumbles coming from the corner of the room though that got all of our attentions - holy shit Coleman laughed, he actually laughed.
“You mean insensitive bastards,” Cole whined with his face on the bed and ass in the air. I had to admit, it looked like fucking agony. Without warning him, Parker stuck the first needle in Cole’s ass where there was a tiny bit of space that wasn’t red raw. “I wasn’t ready!” he howled.
Laughing silently, Parker picked up the next syringe and did the same thing. “Would you leave my ass alone, you asshole!” His yell was muffled by the pillow that he was biting now, but I’m pretty sure that’s what he said. This happened another two times before he’d had enough. “If you touch my ass or stick anything in it again, I swear to God…”
“I told you there was something wrong with that boy, Linda.” We all turned to the doorway to see Cole’s grandparents, Hurst and Linda, standing there beside Cole’s Dad Jack who was looking at his back in horror. They walked closer to Cole’s bed, and all stopped at the same time when they saw the cantaloupe-sized man bags that he was now sporting. “Holy mother of God boy, those are fuckin’ blue! I’ve heard of blue balls, but that’s just…I don’t even…”
He shook his head and backed into the corner still staring in horror. The drugs were obviously taking effect because Cole’s body suddenly melted out of his doggy position until he was lying out flat on the bed.
“My baaaaaaz need scatchy,” he slurred, creating a sudden flurry of movement from everyone who left the room in a mass exodus, pushing each other out the way to get to the door first.
“I’m out!”
“I don’t touch ball sack!”
“My nails are too sharp!”
“I have a wart!”
“Baaaabeeeeeeee,” more slurring came from elephant balls lying on the bed. “I a unicon n ma baaaaaaaz…” he trailed off and snuffled into the pillow.
Snorting, I walked up to him. “Uh, with the amount of shit you just had injected into you, I highly doubt you’ll be able to fulfill the mandatory unicorn horn for a while.”
Proving that there really was something wrong with him, he flipped onto his back and proudly displayed, yet again, his unicorn horn.
“What the fuck?” A deep voice barked from behind me as a giggle broke into the room followed by a freaking loud gasp. Turning around, I saw Ren trying to cover Maya’s eyes and glaring at his brother while Tony clapped his hands beside them.
“Ohhh hell yes,” he said walking towards the bed. “Viva el unico…holy fucking shit what the fuck are those?” he broke off screaming and pointing at Cole’s balls, which you just couldn’t not see were that swollen.
“Oh Jesus Christ,” Ren gagged from the doorway while Maya stopped laughing and bit her fist. To be honest, I was relieved she’d finally stopped because Maya laughed with gusto and that poor baby in her stomach was getting pitched around in there.
Reaching down with glazed eyes and a doped up grin on his face, Cole went to hold one and then started scratching away at it.
“Leave them alone,” I tried to grab his hand but he kept moving it. “Can one of you help?”
“He touched his fuckin’ balls, no way!” Ren looked absolutely disgusted that I’d even ask.
“Is it contagious?” Tony asked, still staring at them.
Knowing that they weren’t going to be any help, I hit the call button on the bed and when Lars answered I asked for the only thing that I knew would make a difference, “bring five pairs of socks…and two rolls of tape.”
Cole
Why was I so itchy? Opening my eyes, I looked around and took in the hospital room that I was in and it came back to me. I’d done it again! I didn’t have it in me to be embarrassed; I was that uncomfortable. It felt like I’d dipped my balls in lava and then rolled around in a barbecue. I heard a snuffle from beside me and turned my head to see Ebru lying with her head on the bed fast asleep. What was she doing here?
I’d taken some time away from seeing her as often as I normally did so that I could try and work through some shit, and then the anniversary had happened. I’d been doing this for years now, and I just needed to stop it because it wasn’t going to bring it back, and it wasn’t helping anything. With our family growing, though, my loss hit me even harder this year than it had last year. What would life be like if it was here?
I’d avoided relationships for years because of my trust issues and the first woman to make me actually want one was lying with her head on my bed. She’d seen me at my worst…almost, and I’d pushed her away because I wasn’t sure that I could give her what she needed and deserved. Last night at the lake, though, I remember floating and staring at the stars and making plans for us after deciding that I was going to do it and I was going to treat her like a queen. I knew I wouldn’t change overnight, but I’d thought about it hard, and I wanted this with Ebru. I couldn’t imagine not being with her, so I needed to change because she deserved nothing but the best and I’d been an asshole to her so many times. Would she even give me a chance?
I went to move my hand to stroke her hair, and maybe give my ass a scratch because fuck me, but nothing happened.
“What the…” Ebru shot up into a sitting position as I stared at my hands. “Are those socks?” It looked like I had ten pairs of socks on it and they were taped to my arm with a shit ton of tape that almost hit my elbow. Then to add even more insult to injury, they were also taped to the railings of the bed.
“We had to,” Ebru mumbled looking at me warily while reaching over to press the call button on my bed. “You kept scratching, so we put the socks on to stop you doing damage. The Duct Tape was necessary because you kept taking the socks off.”
“Why’s there so fucking much of it?”
“You bit through the medical tape to get the socks off, so we got the maintenance guys tape. You gnawed through that too,” she pointed down at small flecks of silver all over the floor beside the bed. “So we had to use more. We then taped it to the bed so that you couldn’t chew through it again, even though you tried, so Parker gave you a sedative.”
I was just about to lose my shit and demand that she untape me when Parker walked in with a nurse.
“Hey man, so how much do you remember from yesterday,” he pulled my leg out from under the bed and picked a syringe up.
“Ebru just filled me in,” I couldn’t stop the squeak that came out when he stuck the needle in me. Those things hurt!
I sat through another three sulking because no matter what I did, I always seemed to end up making a twat of myself in front of th
e one person that I wanted to look good to.
“I had to admit, I thought they were yanking my crank about the whole Viva El Unicorn thing, but seeing it first hand,” the mean asshole sniggered as he put all of the syringes in the special box that the nurse was carrying. What he said sank in at the same time as the drugs, and I vaguely registered the fact that the nurse he’d brought with him was glaring at me, although that might be because she was the one I’d done the Weiner windmill in front of last time. Ebru was looking at the wall like it held the secrets to the universe.
“Please tell me I daaadn’t,” the injections kicked in fully. I went to move my hand to touch my numb lower lip and give it the ‘wibble’ that kids did, but my hand wasn’t moving. Why was it stuck to the bed?
“Okay, before he breaks free of the restraints and starts using his magical unicorn horn as a wand to grant wishes again, let’s check him over. Then I have to go and arrange counseling for Mrs. Brant in room three-twenty-seven.”
I was proud of my magical horn; only special unicorns got to grant wishes! “Veeeeeaaaaa lllllll uniooorn!” The horn was free!
Chapter Three
Ebru
I felt like I had a beach in my eyes, every blink felt like I had the sands of Florida scratching across my eyeballs. I’d now been at work for twenty-five hours. Granted, I’d had a couple of hours of sleep in Cole’s room, but it wasn’t enough to recharge my batteries.
“Morning sunshine!” The perky asshole Lars said as he walked past. It was okay for him, he’d been in the on-call room and had probably had a couple of hours of real sleep. Me, I’d woken up every ten minutes worried in case Cole was trying to chew through the tape again. How he had any teeth left I’ll never know, but Jesus he’d been determined.
Glaring at Lars, I put my head back down on the desk. “So, how’s Harry Potter?”
Why was he talking to me? Couldn’t he see that I was dying?
“Eeeeeeebruuuuuu, ohhhhhhh Eeeeeeebbbrrrruuuuuu!”
That was it; my head snapped up, and he immediately started backing away with wide eyes and his hands out in front of him. “Oh shit! No, now Ebru let’s talk this through. Violence doesn’t solve anything!”
Like that would save him!
“You’re fucking evil,” Lars hissed as we walked back toward Cole’s room on our rounds. Thankfully, Mrs. Brant had gotten over the shock of his magical horn, so we hadn’t had to deal with her shaking again.
“You sang at me,” admittedly I felt bad, but I was exhausted, and when people were overly chirpy in the morning it inspired violence in me. I’d still had a roll of Duct Tape from last night which had been sitting right in front of me, but I didn’t think it would take a layer of skin with it when I stuck it on roughly one-third of Lars’ eyebrow. “If you hadn’t left it for so long, it wouldn’t have been so bad.”
I was saved from whatever he was going to say by Colette who was standing next to Cole’s bed. Jack, Linda, and Hurst, who was eating the biggest muffin I’d ever seen, were sitting around the room reading.
“Oh Ebru, morning! How is he today?” She bit her lip after asking. I’m pretty sure it was Hurst who snorted behind me.
“Confused about the restraints and itchy.”
“Does he remember…” she trailed off and winced, and this time there were four snorts from behind me.
“Uh, no. I told him about the restraints and chewing, but not the rest.”
I was saved from reliving it by Parker who walked in to check Cole over.
“Good morning!” My eye started ticking at those two words. As he updated them about the medications that he’d given Cole to get rid of the swelling and reactions that he was having to the bites I considered cutting the restraints off of Cole. We’d tried the normal hospital restraints last night, but somehow he’d gotten out of them, so we’d had no option but to use the industrial strength tape. After what had happened to Lars when I’d stuck a piece on his eyebrow, I was starting to worry about what would happen to poor Cole’s arms.
“I think it’s best if we don’t tell him about…well you know,” Colette whispered, looking back down at Cole repeatedly.
“Oh, you mean the magical horn?” Parker smirked and crossed his arms to another chorus of snorts.
Glaring back at the peanut gallery, Colette said, “Yes, he’s sensitive, and it took forever for him to get over it the last time.”
“Collie, that little turd ran through the hospital yelling his magical horn was a wand,” Hurst said through his laughter.
“Oh no, my favorite part was where he yelled that there would be no wishes for me because I’d stuck something in his ass that made it hurt,” Parker added. “And then labeled me the booty bandit.”
“How is the old lady?” Colette winced as she asked, and with good reason.
“Thankfully she’s gotten over the shock of him singing ‘when you wish upon a horn’, along with the moves he accompanied it with.”
Hurst was bent over roaring in his chair while Jack pinched the bridge of his nose and laughed beside him. Linda just sat on her chair glaring in Cole’s direction.
“Oh fuck me…” the magical horn wielder himself whispered from the bed. “Please, tell me I didn’t say that my nuts were crystal balls and that I could do fortune telling with them.”
By this point, noises so high-pitched that it’s a wonder there wasn’t a chorus of howls outside were coming from Hurst, Jack, Parker, and Lars. I was starting to worry about Hurst because he was holding his chest while he laughed, but so long as he managed the breaths in that the others seemed to be struggling with it was okay.
“Hey honey,” Colette leaned over him and stroked his forehead.
“Please, tell me I didn’t!” He repeated in a horrified whisper.
We were saved from having to answer him by Parker talking to Hurst.
“Where the hell did you get a muffin that big?”
Hurst was still chewing the massive bite that I’d just watched him take, so he held his finger up and waited until he’d finished before answering.
“That coffee place on the corner, Luna something. I gotta say, it’s the best muffin I’ve ever tasted,” he replied, before taking another large bite which he choked on when Linda elbowed him hard in the ribs and glared at him. “Apart from yours. Jesus was there any need to break a rib?”
Linda was still glaring at him when Parker asked, “what flavor is it?”
“Blueberry.”
Parker snorted and looked over at Cole who was glaring around the room at us all. “So, Cole flavor?”
Hurst had been about to take another bite when Parker said this, but he paused and looked up at Parker. “Huh?”
“Blueberry,” none of us were catching onto what was so funny. “Because he has blueberries.”
I’ll admit, I was one of the people who let out a blast of laughter, one of those laughs that takes even you by surprise and comes out sounding like a fog horn. Hurst looked down at the muffin in his hand, pulled a face and then got up from his chair and threw it in the garbage as he walked out the door muttering and cussing.
“Fucking assholes,” the unicorn whisperer said from his position on the bed.
“Oh good, Gypsy dick is awake,” Ren said from the doorway. Admittedly, he might have a better reason than anyone to be pissed at Cole. After all, Cole had just finished giving his ass and nuts a good scratch when he tackled Ren to the floor somehow and sat his bare ass right on his face. None of us could figure out why he’d done it, but it didn’t change that it had happened.
“Oh shit…”
Cole
After everyone had left, Parker had said that they could reduce one of the medications that he thought that I was reacting to. Now, I was see the restwaiting for Ebru to take the tape off my arms.
“I’m so sorry, Eb.” What else could I say?
Shrugging, she went back to sticking the wet cotton bud under the tape to try an
d work it away from my skin.
“I always make myself look like a dick in front of you,” I groaned leaning back.
“No, you always show me your dick when I’m in front of you,” she sniggered, making me groan again.
I did my best to stay quiet for the next five minutes while she worked away at the tape, but at this rate, she’d be there forever, and I’m sure she had other shit to do.
“Just tear it off.”
“Uhhh no,” she replied with a guilty look on her face. “Trust me, you don’t want that to happen.”
“Eb, tear it off!”
“No!”
“Rip it!”
“No!” She was yelling now.
“If you don’t, I’ll say ‘good morning’ a thousand times until you…” That was when she snapped, and the next thing all I could focus on was the sensation of acid pouring over my arm from where she’d ripped a big chunk of tape off. “You evil cow…oh my God why?”
“And I’ve not even gotten all of it off.” The look on her face was scary as she reached for my arm again while I tried to pull it away from the railing that it was attached to. “And then I have the other arm to do!”
I’m not ashamed to admit that I screamed as she waxed not only the hair but the skin off my arms too.
One week later…
I was holding baby Kali while Isla changed Dewi’s diaper and Maya sat beside me inhaling a bowl of popcorn.
“I can’t get over how big they’re getting.” It still amazed me that these little people had been inside tiny Isla’s stomach and that there was one growing inside Maya at this moment too. Looking at them made me hurt, but I was sticking to my plan to close myself off to it now; I was moving on. “Just think, there’s one right there,” I poked Maya’s belly just in time for the baby to kick out at me.
Until Forever (Providence Series Book 3) Page 2