Looking at her now, it hit me what I’d almost lost. What if they hadn’t gotten to her in time? I could have lost the chance to make it up to her or never had the chance to prove to her that I was worth her time. I also would have never had the opportunity to actually apologize for all of my fuck ups and the bullshit things that just seemed to come flying out of my mouth where she was involved.
Adele and I had been over for years, but the scar that she left was a permanent one. It had stopped being a constant thought rolling around in my head, but it still hurt and popped into my mind with monotonous regularity, especially since Isla and Maya had come into our lives.
When I’d gotten home from work yesterday, Adele had been standing at my door waiting for me. How she’d gotten there, I had no idea, but obviously, she was under the impression that regardless of what she’d done, and the evil bullshit that she’d pulled, that I’d be happy to see her. I wasn’t an asshole, so it wasn’t in me to call her all of the names that I wanted to, but that didn’t mean that I wanted her near me. Why was she back, though?
We’d gotten together when we were nineteen. We’d been in the same grade in high school, but hadn’t really had a reason to socialize with each other until one night at a party at my friend’s house. I’d made the mistake of hooking up with her, and afterward, she’d been like a fly around shit, impossible to shake off, so I’d given in and started dating her. She’d seemed like a nice enough girl to begin with.
Two months into our ‘relationship’, Brett had had an issue with a chick who was going to try and get knocked up by him, but Mom had gotten wind of it, and that was the end of her. This had given the rest of us a kick up the ass, and we’d become somewhat wary of the opposite sex. The night that I’d broken up with Adele she’d shown her true colors and had told me that she was only with me to get close to Brett and Ren; something that, honestly, I really didn’t give a shit about. She’d then tried her best to get their attention, but blood really was thicker than water, and they wanted nothing to do with her.
Ren had just opened the garage, and we’d been working all day when we decided to go to Jilly’s. Obviously, being underage it wasn’t going to be a wild night for me, but all the same, I needed to let off steam. I’d just walked across the forecourt when Adele’s voice calling me had me gritting my teeth. When she’d told me that she was pregnant with my baby, I’d laughed in her face, but she’d pulled a scan and piss stick out of her bag and held them up in front of me. Of course, I did what any nineteen-year-old would do…I walked away and drove home to think about it and had convinced my family that I had a stomach bug so that I didn’t have to go in to work.
A week later, I’d walked into Jilly’s to meet up with Ren and Brett and tell them the news and then plan what I wanted to say to Adele - that I wanted to be in the baby’s life. When I’d gotten there, Adele was trashed, as in could hardly put one foot in front of the other trashed. Fuck, I’d been so angry; she was pregnant and the baby could be harmed with how drunk she was, so I’d pulled her outside. I’d just been building up to the part where I wanted to be in the baby’s life when she’d said the words that still killed me to this day.
“It’s gone. I got rid of it!” she’d sneered in my face. “Maybe if it was Ren’s or Brett’s I’d have kept it, but what do I want with a Cole Townsend bastard?”
Scrubbing my hands over my face now, I did my best to get rid of the memory of that moment from my mind. No good ever came from thinking about that bitch, and sure as shit, no good ever came from thinking of that moment.
My phone pinged with an incoming text message and her name flashed up on the screen, as if the Devil summoned her himself. I had zero interest in anything she had to say, so I threw it on the side table wincing when Ebru gave a small start at the noise. Once she’d turned away from me and I was sure that she hadn’t woken up, I wrapped my arms around her. Then for good measure, I did the same with my legs, just in case she tried to shift while I was asleep, buried my nose in her hair and passed out.
Ebru
Blinking, I looked around the room again still not recognizing one thing. Where the hell was I? Then another sense clicked on, and I felt the arms and legs that were holding me tight against a hard body. Oh shitting hell, what had I done?
“I know what you’re thinking,” a deep voice rasped from behind me. It reminded me of those spoof scary movies where the bimbo picks up the phone and hears ‘I can see you’ and the bad guy’s feet are sticking out of the curtains or something. Maybe it was because I recognized the voice?
“No, you don’t!” I croaked.
“Yeah, I do.” Why did the limp dick, or not if I was right about what was pressed up against my back at the moment, always have to argue?
“Trust me, you don’t.” Because honestly, he didn’t.
Huffing out a big sigh, he pulled back and somehow turned me over before I could make a move to get out of the bed.
“You’re at my house. I’m in here because you were crying in your sleep, and yes that was what you thought it was pressed against your back. Am I right?” Smug twat.
No way was I admitting defeat, though. “Actually, I was thinking that I needed to find a place to live,” and then I remembered all of Louise’s stuff that I’d lost. “And to see if any of my stuff survived the fire,” I whispered, looking down so that he couldn’t see that I was close to crying.
Of course, he wouldn’t allow that to happen now, would he? “I’ll take you today, baby,” he said, lifting my chin so that I had no choice but to look at him. “I know that there will be things that can’t be replaced, but I swear I’ll do everything I can to try.”
This was another thing that bugged me about Cole, and maybe it wouldn’t seem like a huge problem to most people, but to someone who didn’t do closeness, it got to me. He was sweet, as in the sweetest and nicest guy that I’d ever met. Sure, he did asshole things and had a total lack of brain to mouth filter, but he was a genuinely great guy. Unfortunately, he had no idea how impossible it would be to replace the things and memories I had of Louise.
“Some things can’t be replaced Cole,” I whispered.
“True, but it doesn’t mean that I won’t try.”
“I don’t do relationships,” I blurted out. “I don’t do…well…relationships.” Why the hell didn’t I just stop after the first time I’d said it? Now I sounded desperate or insane!
He was quiet for so long that I started to fidget, but his arms were that tight around me that I couldn’t move away from him.
“I’m thinking that you don’t want to discuss this in depth right now. Am I right?”
“Or ever,” I think his lack of brain to mouth filter was contagious. “But right now works.”
“In that case, give me the Cliff Notes version.”
I wanted to tell him about my fucked up family, about losing Louise, but thinking of her reminded me of the things of hers that I’d lost and I horrified myself by bursting into tears. Immediately, he had my head under his chin and was whispering in my ear. I couldn’t actually make it out, but whatever it was it was welcome. I don’t know how long I cried, maybe almost as long as I did when she first died, but it was cathartic…until I realized that I had my face in his neck and that he was probably covered in drool and snot.
“I’m sorry,” and I was. No guy deserved drool and snot running down their chests, especially not one who was just doing something kind for someone.
Reaching behind him, he picked up the box of Kleenex from the table and put it on his stomach before pulling a handful out.
“Okay,” he said, putting them over my nose. “Let’s get the little green man’s shoes into the shoe shiner.”
I couldn’t help the nasal sounding burst of laughter that shot out of me at that and thanked all that was Holy that there were tissues over my nose. “Give me that,” I grabbed them and blew my nose which at least only sounded disgusting instead of him feeling it too.
<
br /> Once he was sure that I’d finished, he grabbed the Kleenex out of my hand and threw it over his shoulder before turning and lying on top of me and holding my face gently, so that I had no option but to look straight at his beautiful eyes. I hadn’t been expecting it, and I sure as heck hadn’t been expecting him to then lean down and kiss me, but the second he did I realized how much I needed him. It wasn’t a deep kiss, just small brushes, and I wanted more.
Before I could take it further, though, Cole pulled his head back. “Cliff notes,” he said firmly.
Sighing, I dropped my head back down to the pillow and looked up at him. “My parents are assholes, and I lost my sister.” That pretty much said it all really.
I could almost hear the thoughts whizzing through his mind over what I’d just revealed as he stared down at me and chewed on his lip. After a minute or so, he started stroking my cheeks with his thumbs and then said, “Right, I know that you don’t want to talk about it, but thank you for letting me in.” Huh? Gently pushing my hair away from my face, he continued. “At some point, I’m going to need to hear the details, but for now I know enough. What I’m going to say next though is going to upset you.” Bracing myself, I waited while he scanned over my face, before looking back up at my eyes. “I’ve been an asshole since I met you. It wasn’t intentional, but up until a couple of days ago, I wasn’t sure that I could do a relationship with you. Not that I didn’t want to, trust me I did, but could. I almost lost the chance because of the fire, and I keep thinking what if. So, we’re going to try this between us because life is too short not to, and the fire and your sister are proof of that. I know I have no filter and that I say shit that I should really think about first, but I can promise you, promise,” he stressed, never breaking eye contact. “That I will never hurt you, and I will appreciate every second that I have with you.”
I had no answer to that; I just lay there staring up at him in shock while doing my best fish out of water impression. Was there even an answer to all of that?
“So, we’re going to see where this goes and I’m going to prove to you that I’m not the asshole that you think I am. I mean, admittedly I need to think before I talk, and to make sure that doctors know never to give me pain medication, maybe stay away from unicorns…never watch Harry Potter again…” he trailed off obviously thinking of more of his fuck ups. “No, forget I said all of that. None of that happened, so it’s all good!” Lifting himself up off me quickly, he climbed out of the bed and leaned over to pick me up before carrying me through to the bathroom. “Well, I’m glad we agreed on that. Now, have your shower, and we’ll go to your apartment and pick up what we can,” he finished with a peck on my lips.
I finally got a thought together just as he reached the door to the bathroom. “You’re nuttier than monkey shit!”
Turning back to face me, he gave me a huge grin and then walked out and closed the door behind him.
What the fuck?
Chapter Six
Ebru
We were in Cole’s new Ford Mustang GT350R heading towards Jilly’s for lunch. The only reason that I remembered the numbers and the R was because he’d made me repeat it, and had kept quizzing me the whole time we’d been at what was left of my apartment until I’d told him to shut the hell up.
When we’d gotten there, I’d looked around feeling numb at what was left of what I’d owned. When I got to my bedroom and saw that I’d unknowingly moved the metal chest with Louise’s stuff in it to under the window to stand on and that the flames hadn’t touched it, I’d almost broken down in tears; she’d saved my life. Then, I had actually cried when it hit me that her stuff was safe. Cole being the great guy that he was, held me and let me get snot and tears all over him again before picking up the box and whatever else he could find that wasn’t burnt, and had then guided me out of the door and down to the car.
“What’s the model?” he asked, handling the car like a pro down the streets towards the center of town.
“Shove it up your ass.”
Tutting, he shook his head as we pulled up to a red light. “Now, now. A car like this demands respect, Tinks.”
Tinks? Fucking Tinks?
“Listen mouth breather, I’m not much smaller than you…”
“Over a foot,” he interrupted, not lifting his eyes from the empty road in front of us while he waited for the lights to change to green.
Deciding to stick to a subject that might just make him a little bit less annoying, I asked him about his beloved car. “You said it was a 2017 model. How did you get it?” No way would I ever let on how intrigued I was by this question.
Setting off from the lights, he quickly built up speed. Unfortunately, he was also one of those irritating people who stuck to five miles an hour below the speed limit.
“Ren knows a guy, who knows a guy, who knows a guy, who I guess works for Ford. When Ren found out that I was about to pre-order one of these, he had a word, and I got a pre-release model.” He smiled at the dash in front of him as he stroked it.
“I thought the older ones were meant to be their best models?” I’m sure I’d heard that somewhere. Maybe in a movie like Gone in Sixty Seconds.
“That’s because they hadn’t driven one of these yet,” he said. Apparently, I’d found the one thing in life that Cole took seriously - his car.
“Can I drive it?”
“No.”
“What about if it was on one of the fields?” Judging by the look of horror on his face, that was a no too. “How about if I drove it ten feet?”
“No.”
“Five?”
“No.”
I sat back in my chair with a huff. “Fine,” I crossed my arms across my chest. “If you ever need me to drive you to a hospital to save your life, I won’t do it.”
“I’ve seen your driving baby and trust me, you’re doing not only me but the world a favor too!”
“Whatever wee wee whirler,” I grumbled, feeling a bit smug over using the nickname that his Mom had told us she’d given him when he was three and kept doing the dick windmill.
His gasp and the jerk the car gave as he accidentally pressed down on the gas made that smug feeling even better. Hah!
Cole
Oh, she knew that I was glaring at her across the table, but would she look up at me? No! Wimp.
“What’s up with you, limp dick?” Ren asked, taking a seat next to me after making sure that his wife was settled in her chair.
“Which one of you assholes told her?” I jerked my chin in the betraying little pixie’s direction.
“Told her what?” Brett finally looked up from his phone, which he’d been furiously typing on since he arrived.
“Oh, you know what!” They so did too.
Ren and Brett looked at each other, then at me, and finally at Ebru. “He wants to know who told me about him being called wee wee whirler when he was a kid,” she explained loudly.
Brett had just taken a mouthful of his Sprite, which came spraying out all over the table while Ren burst out laughing.
“Oh my God, this is better than Christmas,” Maya squealed.
Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me!
Ebru
We were just settling in with our lunch when Maya asked about the apartment.
“Did you lose everything?”
“It was really the spare room, the kitchen and living room that got the worst damage. There was some to the bedroom, but a majority of the damage in there was smoke.” I was about to continue when the sound of heels tapping up to the table followed by the most irritating baby voice interrupted.
“Cole,” we all turned around at the same time, and I saw Cole stiffen out of the corner of my eye. “I…uh…you didn’t answer my text handsome and I…”
I tuned out the rest of what she was saying while I tried to remember where I’d seen her before. She had peroxide blonde hair that was almost white, an orange fake tan and would have been pretty if i
t wasn’t for whatever that was all over her face. Don’t get me wrong, I was a makeup addict. I may not wear much of it every day, but I loved the stuff, but what this chick had smeared on was more of a disaster than makeup.
I recognized her at the same time that Cole apparently reached the end of his tolerance level. “Go!” he barked at her. I was shocked because he was always so friendly and nice to people, but this woman really seemed to have rubbed him the wrong way. What had I missed?
“You need to go, Adele,” Brett said in a no-nonsense tone.
Staring at him a second too long and in a really creepy way, she eventually looked over to Ren and then at Cole again. “I’ll see you around, darling. Call me!”
I watched as she tap-tapped away from us, over swinging her hips and wiggling her ass. I remembered Brett saying she was Cole’s ex and obviously time hadn’t been a healer for him because the look on his face screamed otherwise.
The rest of lunch was mainly just us talking while Cole sat pushing his food around his plate. He wanted us to be something, but how could we when he obviously still had feelings for his ex-girlfriend?
Cole
The following day I was under a car changing the brake when my phone started screaming Sweet Child of Mine, Maya’s ringtone. I knew that she wasn’t alone because Amy had arrived this morning for the birth of baby Townsend. She was staying at Layla’s house, which appeared to have become the visitors quarters for some unknown reason. Maybe that was because it needed less done to it?
“He…” I got as far as before she cut me off.
“Cole, I need help,” she cried down the phone. This pregnancy had her hormones running riot and to heck if anyone could keep up with her emotions. “Ren is stuck in traffic, and I have a doctors appointment, and he said I need you with me for it.”
Well, fucking great. Thanks for that Ren, you big fat asshole. Just what I wanted and needed, to go and get your wife’s vagina and your baby checked over.
Until Forever (Providence Series Book 3) Page 5