“You okay, sunshine?” Mom asked me as she pottered around the kitchen, brewing another pot of coffee.
“I can’t eat these,” I muttered, feeling almost nauseous.
My Mom gave me a knowing look, and two minutes later a large bowl of cut up fruit was placed in front of me while Cole took my pancakes. “Is it almost over?” She asked as she sat down opposite me.
Nodding, I took another mouthful of fruit as Cole sat back and rubbed his stomach. How he ate so quickly without choking or his stomach exploding I didn’t know.
“Cole’s allergic to anything…menstrual,” I informed her. When we’d been younger, she had always made a big deal about the Goddess blessing us whenever we had our periods. No Goddess blessed me during mine, more like passed me to the devil to torture. I knew that this type of conversation would freak him out, though, so I was trying to subtly let her know to leave the Goddess alone.
“I know what you mean,” Mom said as she filled his cup with more coffee. Giving her a relieved and grateful nod, he lifted the cup to his mouth as Mom said, “Both she and Lou insisted on using manufactured sanitary products. Personally, I always found catching it in a cup easier and more in touch with how nature would have intended.”
Cole sat like a statue with his cheeks puffed out with the mouthful of coffee that he’d taken just as she said the word ‘cup’. Dropping the mug that he’d still been holding on the floor, he shot out of his chair. The sound of the back door slamming behind him was punctuated by the incredibly loud sounds of Jurassic Park as he threw up the ten pancakes that he’d eaten, and the three cups of coffee that he’d enjoyed so far today.
Looking at me in confusion, Mom said, “What did I say?”
Sighing, I leaned back in my seat as the Raptorsaurus and T-Rex battled it out on the back porch of my parents’ home. “You said cup,” I explained holding my own up in the air. “He thinks you meant one of these.”
My Dad burst out laughing followed quickly by my Mom. Watching them and seeing them do something that I hadn’t seen a lot of as a child, I couldn’t help joining in. Only Cole!
Cole
It was a couple of hours before we were due to leave her parents to drive back to Piersville. Yesterday, after they’d cleared up the fact that they weren’t talking about actual cups, we’d spent the day exploring and Eb had pointed out where her and Lou used to play. I loved hearing her memories and the stories of what they got up to; I think I would have liked Lou. Her parents had kept all of Lou’s stuff in her room, and told us that there was an attic full of boxes of photos that Ebru could go through and take what she wanted. I now had three extra bags and two large boxes of photos and Louise’s stuff in the car, but I didn’t mind; far from it.
Ebru said as soon as we woke up that she wanted to go and see her sister, and I’d toyed with the idea of letting her go alone to spend time with Louise. I couldn’t leave Ebru to go by herself though, and I wanted to meet Louise myself. I had a lot to say to her.
We were making our way through the graveyard and I made sure to keep hold of Ebru’s hand. It was actually a beautiful place set on a hill that looked down over some fields and a large forest. The church was at the very top and, at this moment, was breathtaking with the sun shining down onto it.
We were close to the top of the hill when Ebru stopped and stood staring at the grave in front of her. Looking at the headstone, I saw the now familiar face of Louise smiling back at me and read the inscription on it.
Louise Dharma Wells
She lived her life for those she loved
And those she loved will never forget her
I looked at her date of birth and realized she would have been the same age as Ren if she’d still been alive.
I decided to stay quiet as Ebru cleared the leaves and crap off her grave on her hands and knees while speaking to her. She told her about their Mom, and it almost killed me when she told her about all of the photos and that Louise needed to know that they had loved them. I couldn’t imagine growing up that way. I wanted Ebru to have peace when it came to her family because the proof of how short life could be was right in front of me, but at the same time, I couldn't help harboring some resentment towards them for how Ebru and Louise had grown up. I knew that Eb was struggling to forgive past what she already had, and the fact that they’d kept Lou’s room the way it had been and hadn’t thrown her stuff out went a long way towards that. The photos that we were now taking back to Piersville went even further, but I didn’t know if she’d ever forgive them completely, and I couldn’t blame her for that. I just didn’t want her to have any regrets.
“And this is Cole,” Ebru said as she reached her hand back to me. Taking it, I took a step forward onto the grass and knelt beside her.
“Hi Louise, I’ve heard so much about you. Your sister has been taking me around all of y’all’s old haunts here and telling me all of the stories about you.” I’d thought that I’d feel like a twat talking to a headstone, but instead it felt almost natural. “I know Ebru has filled you in on what’s been going on, but I want you to know that I promise that I will look after her. She will never want for anything and I’ll make sure that she knows how much she means to me every day, until forever.” I heard Ebru gasp beside me as I said all of this and knew that I was laying myself bare in front of her, but I meant every word that I said. Leaning over, I picked up a couple of leaves that she hadn’t got to yet. “And try not to get a big head about this, but the photos that we have of you are going to be put all over our home so that you’re with Eb all of the time.” Leaning back, I thought hard on what else I could say. “I also want to thank you for watching over her during the fire. I can’t imagine my life without her in it, and if it hadn’t been for you that would be my reality now.”
Deciding that she needed a few minutes alone with her sister, I stood up and dusted off my knees. I thought about how to say goodbye, and then it hit me. “It’s been wonderful finally meeting you, Louise. I just wished that I’d actually got to meet you in person. One day I will, though.”
I squeezed Eb’s shoulder and walked away with my hands in my pockets, trying not to cry at the senseless loss of an amazing and precious life.
A couple of graves away, I saw some blue teddy bears and figurines of angels around a grave and stopped. The headstone said:
Lyall Jonathan Mitchell
Taken out of his mother’s arms
way too early. Died in his sleep
22-5-15.
“Lyall died of the baby version of what Lou died from,” Ebru whispered behind me. “I met the parents a couple of months after he passed away, and they told me that it had been deemed as Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. I explained about Lou and knowing that they died of the same thing, and me promising that Louise would make sure that he was okay, made his Mom smile and helped slightly. I can’t imagine leaving my baby behind every time I come here. It’s bad enough leaving my sister!”
Seeing this put it all into perspective for me. Life was precious and I’d had that choice taken away from me, but it was in the past. My future was standing right in front of me.
Walking up to her and putting my arms around her, I leaned down to give her a soft kiss. “I love you, Ebru Dhyana Wells,” I whispered against her lips.
She leaned her head back slightly and stared up at me looking completely shocked. Admittedly, it wasn’t a story to tell the kids about, confessing your love for their mother in a cemetery, but at the same time with Louise so close to us it was absolutely perfect. She continued to look at me before she whispered so softly that I almost didn’t hear it, “Until forever.”
Using my words to her sister back to me told me more than she’d ever realize. Ebru had just told me she loved me. I could wait for the actual words because those ones meant more to me than anything.
Leaning my forehead against hers, I realized that we’d both hit the one place where we could drop the hurt of our pasts and let our
walls down to let the other in. This was our moment.
Chapter Eleven
Cole
We’d been back now for a couple of days, and Ebru seemed to have accepted the news her parents had given her during our visit. She had even gone as far as to arrange for us to go back to visit them after her mother’s surgery next week. It would only be for one night, but it was something. The thing that was worrying me was that she wasn’t talking about it. I wasn’t a chick, but if it were me, I’d be wanting to discuss not only the cancer but also the photos and Louise herself.
Before we’d left, I’d taken the chance to speak to Finn about when Eb had been stabbed at school. I know that her priority was Louise, but them playing off what had happened to her didn’t sit well with me at all. When I’d asked him why they hadn’t taken their daughter’s back and pressed charges, he’d explained that he’d received a letter from the father of one of the girls that had stabbed her. He was the District Attorney and had basically told Finn that if he reported it that he’d make sure that Finn lost his home and his job. Because of the medical bills, they’d been behind on their mortgage at the time, so he had to make a decision - make his family homeless or keep a roof over their heads and keep a close eye on Ebru. He chose the latter. Apparently, Enya had spent her days in her car in front of the school and even did sporadic walkthroughs to check on Ebru.
As the statute of limitations wasn’t up on what the bitches had done to her, I had gotten a copy of the police report from him and the letter that Finn had received. Brett had sent them to his lawyer for me. He didn’t know what was in the envelope, obviously, but he knew I wouldn’t ask for his help unless it was important. The father was no longer the DA and had, in fact, been disgraced when he was caught enjoying incredibly young prostitutes, both male and female. That just made it even better.
Last night, we’d been lying in bed facing each other, and I’d traced the tattoo on her side.
Forever in our hearts
Forever on our minds
And always the brightest star
Shining in the sky
LDW
It all made sense to me now, and I couldn’t think of a more beautiful tribute to her sister. Hearing her whisper that she’d tell Louise all about it when she saw her again and to sleep tasty had broken something inside of me. I couldn’t imagine having to say goodbye to someone who you loved so much, knowing that you had to wait until you took your last breath on earth to see them again. I didn’t know how she did it, but she wasn’t alone anymore.
Now, I was in my Mom’s kitchen with her, Isla and Maya. The babies were all asleep in the pack and plays that my parents had bought for when they were all over, and I was watching them all sleep.
Dewi and Kali were in the same one and always seemed to need to sleep with one part of their body touching even if it was just a foot; maybe it was a twin thing? Baby Crystal almost disappeared in the bed she was that tiny. I loved these little people so much, and the grave of the little boy near Louise’s kept flashing into my mind. I would give my own life for them not to be taken away from us.
I was so lost in my thoughts that when my mom spoke, it took me a while to realize that she was talking to me.
“Are you okay, love?”
Snapping out of where my mind had gone, I looked at her and the girls and let it all out. I told them all about Louise and the visit to Ebru’s parents as well as what her childhood had been like and the photos. By the time I finished they were all in tears.
“That’ll be why she flinched when the Pastor said my middle name during the wedding,” Isla whispered looking distraught. I think we’d all noticed Ebru doing it, but it hadn’t made sense to any of us. Now that Isla said it, though, all of the pieces fell into place.
“She’s not talking about any of it,” I looked around them making it clear that I needed help with this.
Mom wiped her hands off on her dishtowel and walked towards me. “Sweetheart, if anyone knows how to deal with this it’s you. You just said that you’d declared your love for each other…”
“Well, I did. She said, ‘until forever’,” I interrupted.
“Yes, and you told us what those words meant too,” Isla spoke up.
“So, as I was saying,” Mom continued, glaring at me. “You declared your love for each other and given Ebru’s past that isn’t an easy thing. Why don’t you do something romantic? Something to get her mind off of what is going on.”
Actually, now that she mentioned it…an idea came into my head, and I jumped up to start putting it into motion. I had the perfect plan.
“You’re such a wise old bird,” I said as I kissed Mom goodbye and got a cuff around the head.
“Don’t forget, tomorrow night you’re wetting the babies heads with the rest of the guys,” Maya reminded me as I kissed her and Isla goodbye. To be honest, I could do without the night out, but then it was to celebrate my nieces and nephew, so I’d be there.
Ebru
Looking down at my the message on my screen, I couldn’t help wondering what the tool was up to.
Cole: Meet me at OUR spot at the lake at 6. Until forever baby. xxx
I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I loved that he was calling his special spot at the lake ours now, and that he was using the words ‘until forever’ back at me. They seemed to carry more meaning than a standard ‘I love you’ did.
Hitting reply, I tapped out a message as I made my way to the door.
Me: Just leaving. Have to stop at store to get shampoo and conditioner first tho. Will be there asap. xoxo
Before I got to my car, he’d replied.
Cole: drive carefully baby. xxx
Turning the engine on, I laid my head back against the headrest and tried to just let the stress of the day go. It hadn’t been busy, but we’d had a little boy brought in who had been attacked by his mom’s boyfriend and was now on life support. Seeing that never got easier regardless of what they told you at college.
Lifting my head, I took the parking brake off and drove out of the parking lot in the direction of Coopers. While I was there, I picked up a couple of things that caught my eye like the fucking awesome cinnamon rolls that they baked daily and then carried it all back to the car. How two items turns into three bags, I’ll never know, but I managed to do it every single time.
I was on the road heading towards the lake when the car in front of me slowed and signaled that it was pulling into the parking lot of the new Italian restaurant that had just opened. As I slowed, I looked into the lot to see what the front of the restaurant looked like wondering if Cole would be interested in going with me. I never expected to see the man I loved with his arms around the one female that he professed to hate with a passion, but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t right there in front of me.
Doing a quick u-turn, I drove back towards town and then headed in the direction of the one place that I felt safe right now. Caleb’s house.
I didn’t let the tears fall until he opened the door, and then it was a facial flood as I face planted in his chest.
Cole
I’d called through an order to Capisce and had then headed out to the lake to lay out the torches and the small candles that I’d bought. I wanted this to be as romantic as possible and having us surrounded by candlelight sounded pretty damned romantic to me.
I’d just left Capisce with our bags of food and was putting them in the trunk when I heard my name being called.
“Cole! Cole!”
I clenched my jaw as I shut the trunk and turned towards the one person that I’d happily never ever see again.
“Hey, sweetie,” she said in that irritating as shit voice that she used around me. “I was hoping to see you.”
Hearing those words made me suddenly suspicious and I looked around the parking lot. There weren’t that many cars around, and there was no one waiting for her at the door to the restaurant while she spoke to me. Had she foll
owed me?
“What do you want?” No sense in beating around the bush.
“I just wanted to see you,” she said. Then the expression on her face turned, and I braced myself for what she was going to do next. I would have bet on either tears or anger, and she didn’t disappoint as she put her hands over her face and started sobbing. “You hate me, don’t you? Please, don’t hate me. I had no choice. And you didn’t want either of us…” she said through the crocodile tears.
There were few things in life that I was one hundred percent certain on, but the fact that she was pretty much bullshitting me was one of them.
I wasn’t expecting what she did next as I leaned against the back of the ‘Stang with my arms crossed.
“Don’t hate me,” she wailed as she threw herself at my chest and wrapped her arms around me, not letting go when I tried to move them. My arms were trapped at my sides by hers, so I was pretty restricted on what I could do to get free. “I want to die for what I did to you. Do you hear me? Die!” she continued.
A car pulled in and drove past us to a space at the opposite end of the parking lot. I heard the squealing of tires on the road behind me as I lost my cool. I wanted her off me now, and the only option I had now was to put my hands on her waist and push, which I did. Taking an exaggerated stumbling step backward, she looked at me in shock.
“I don’t care what you do, Adele. The only time that I did care what you did, you got rid of my child and then threw it in my face calling it my bastard,” I sneered. “In fact, the whole time we were together, you wanted Ren or Brett. So don’t fucking come at me with your bullshit and lies.” I turned and walked towards the driver’s door and as I opened it to get in, I looked back at her stunned face and said the words that I’d been dying to say to her for ages. “If you see me, you never come near me. Do I make myself clear?”
I didn’t give her a chance to reply as I got into the car, started the ignition and drove away taking a left out of the parking lot in the direction of the lake. It was somewhat cathartic getting all of that off my chest, but I’d realized that the weekend that we’d had at Ebru’s parents hadn’t just put her heart at ease, it had done the same to mine also. The memory of what I’d lost would always be with me, but now I had a proper future with someone that I loved and wanted to have children with.
Until Forever (Providence Series Book 3) Page 12