by Nicole Fox
“We?” I thought. “You mean ‘I.’” But aloud, I answered, “Yes, sir.”
“Good.” He patted me on the head and waddled away. I closed my eyes and waited until he was gone, the shape of his hand burning on my scalp where he had touched me.
“Goddammit,” I swore, sighing deeply as I looked at the additional work he had plopped down onto my desk. “This will take hours!” More, even, as I was still tired and harried from the adventures of the night before. I knew, though, that I had no other choice. Complaining meant talking to Blade again. He’d probably try to touch me, give me a comforting hug. No. When forced to decide between paperwork and being alone with him, I decided on paperwork.
Shifting until I found a comfortable way to sit, I took a deep breath and began my work.
# # #
By the time eight p.m. rolled around, I was nearly in tears. The workload he had given me was enormous, and, on top of that, I kept making stupid mistakes, causing me at one point to have to start over again. Perhaps it was my exhaustion. Perhaps it was my lingering thoughts of Dominic and the resulting throb between my legs. All I knew was that everyone, one by one, gathered their papers together, smiled sadly at me, and left for the night.
By nine p.m., I believed I was alone in the office. The fluorescent lights cast a dreary, flickering glow over the sterile decorations, the wilting- yet -fake, flowers. Any view I might have of the surrounding city was washed out by their pallid gleam, so that I felt enclosed in a bubble––no, an envelope. A stupid, bureaucratic, red-tape envelope, sealing me away from the rest of the world.
My bruise smarted. My pantsuit itched. The worn wire of my bra dug into my side uncomfortably. Inside my cheap, faux-leather shoes, my feet ached and sweated.
“Aw, fuck it!” I cried at last, kicking my shoes off under my desk and unhooking my bra. With an immense sigh of relief, I wrestled it out from beneath my shirt and stuffed it into my purse. Damned thing. Evil, vile contraption. What did I care now that I wasn’t wearing a bra? It’s not like anyone was around to see me. I might as well be comfortable.
“Long day, Erica my sweet?”
The voice splashed over me like cold water, filled with stinging, salty seaweed that clung to me long after the sound of it had faded.
“M-Mr. Blade!” I gasped, watching him emerge from his darkened office, a leering, jack-o-lantern grin on his face. “I thought you were gone for the night!”
He smile grew. His eyes fastened on my breasts, my nipples––no longer protected by my padded bra––poking through the sheer fabric of my undershirt. “Evidently,” he said. Even his glance made me burn with discomfort.
Frantically, I tried to squeeze into my shoes beneath the desk, all the while trying to figure out a way to slip my bra back on without him noticing. Perhaps I could make an excuse, go to the bathroom with it slipped under my skirt or something.
But no. He was approaching.
“I’d hoped you’d work late tonight,” he continued, his waist now touching the opposite end of my desk. Was I imagining things, or did I see a bulge growing there, in the crotch of his pants?
Dear God, no, I thought. And yet, what he’d said rankled me enough to tear my gaze away.
“Sir, with all due respect, you knew I’d be working late. You’re the one who assigned me all this work!”
His eyes widened, as if surprised to hear me actually say what I was thinking. Then, his smile returned, but this time, it looked more like an animal baring his teeth.
“With all due respect, yes,” he murmured, circling around my desk. From my seated position, my face was now just above his belt line. He reached out and stroked my hair, freezing me to the spot. “You do respect me, huh? You have to. You want to keep this job.”
His hand traveled down my brow, to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. An aura of disgust radiated from his touch, and I saw something shift between his legs. Yes, I realized dimly. I was not imagining things.
“Please don’t touch me,” I stammered, feeling pathetic even as I said it. He did not pull his hand away.
“And why shouldn’t I?” He crooned. “I’m a respectable man, and you’re a beautiful woman. Besides, do you know how much shit I have to put up with from you as a worker? How many times I could have fired you, but didn’t? You owe me.”
Humiliated, I felt tears spring to my eyes. “That’s not true,” I said. “I’m good at what I do!”
He smiled. “Yes, you are,” he whispered, circling around me so that my back was to him. I could practically feel the heat radiating off his crotch. “You are very good at what you do. You poor thing, working so hard…Such long hours…”
His hands spread across my shoulders and began to rub, giving me a massage. My muscles tensed, hard as rock beneath his touch, which inspired him only to squeeze harder.
“Relax, Erica my sweet,” he whispered. “Relax…”
His hands shifted down, across my collarbones, touching the very tops of my breasts with his fingertips. I gasped, trying to pull away from him, but he held me firmly.
“Hey,” he murmured. “Why don’t we make a deal, huh?”
His palms slid down, cupping the top of my breasts, above the shirt.
“You’re a woman. I’m a man. You have needs: you want this job. You want…pleasure.”
Touching the top of my shift. I squirmed, squeezing my eyes closed, pretending I was somewhere, anywhere but here.
“And me?” he continued. “I have simple wants…simple needs. And, Erica my sweet, I’d like you to help me satisfy those needs––”
“No!” I whirled to my feet, suddenly electrified. His hands had just dipped beneath my shirt and pinched, with icy fingers, my nipples. Now, they burned as if scalded. I gazed at him in horror, and he leered back, all semblance of a grin left behind. Now there was nothing but savage, animal longing.
“Come here, my darling,” he growled. “Don’t be afraid.”
“No!” I cried again, darting away from him. My sore ankle, half-trapped in my shoe, caught, and I suddenly found myself falling. I seized the edge of my desk, and––Boom!
My chin clipped the edge, leaving me flickering and dizzy.
“Now, now. See what happens when you try to defy me?” He cackled. I heard the grating of a chair being flung away, and suddenly he was behind me. I felt him press against my back, something small and hard poked through his jeans.
“No!” I screamed. “No!”
He seized my jaw and held me up against him.
“Listen, toots,” he grunted, the smell of his breath making me even dizzier. “We can do this the easy way or the hard way. The easy way ends with me pumping a steaming load of cum inside you, and perhaps an orgasm or two for you. The hard way? Well, let’s just say you’ll end up on the floor covered in as much blood as semen.”
My heart raced. Tears of terror flooded my eyes. His hand covered my mouth so I could no longer scream, and I felt his other hand burrow behind me, unbuckling his pants.
“So what’s it gonna be, sweetheart?” He asked. I could feel his naked cock pressing against my clothes. Naked. Naked!
Flooded with adrenaline, I opened my mouth and bit down, hard, on his hand. He yanked away, and then smacked me across the face, knocking me once again across my desk. He seized my arm and bent it behind me, wrenching upward so far that I thought my shoulder would break.
“There you go, lovely,” he spit into my ear, licking the lobe and my neck. With his free hand, he reached around me, tearing my breasts from my shirt. My nipples smacked against the cold veneer of my desk, which was so much better than the icy claws he dug into my flesh.
“Please,” I begged, sobbing now. “Please don’t…”
But he ignored me. Instead, he released his hold on my breasts and slithered his way down my legs, gripping my skirt and wrenching it upward. He tore my underwear aside so hard that it bruised, and then, like red-hot iron, I could feel the tip of his dick burn against my inner thigh.
/> “Is there a problem here?” A deep voice, a soothing, fatherly voice interrupted. Blade whirled, his contact with me snapping. I squealed, then fled under my desk, clutching my knees and sobbing.
“No problem!” He snapped. “Now why don’t you do your fucking job, you fucking mop monkey.”
I chanced a peek around the desk. There was Mr. Belton, the evening janitor. He did indeed have his hand around a mop, but he stared at Blade with shrewd, cunning eyes.
“I will, sir, don’t worry,” he said. “But first, I’d like to walk Ms. Carter out. It can be dangerous at night, and I thought I saw some hooligans by the parking garage. She should be finished by now. Right, Ms. Carter?”
“Y-yes, Mr. Belton,” I stammered, emerging from my pathetic little hiding place, visibly trembling. The top of my shirt hung dangerously low, and my skirt was all the way up around my hips. I straightened them as discreetly as I could. “I’m all set, sir.”
“You’re fucking pitiful,” a cruel, harpy’s voice spat in my ear. “Groveling even to the fucking janitor.”
And yet, as I looked at him, with his scuffed mop and his horrible, greenish jumper, he seemed a knight in shining armor, here with his lance to save the day. “Thank you, sir,” I continued, emphasizing the title. “That would be wonderful.”
Mr. Belton nodded, then held out his hand like he would for a child. Hesitantly, I approached, pausing only long enough to grab my purse. I did not look at Blade as I walked by him––and yet, without even seeing him, I could tell that he was trembling with rage. Still, the part of me that remained capable of reason told me that he could do nothing: Belton had spotted us. I was visibly hurt. He was lucky Belton was simply leading me away, rather than calling the police.
Just when I was at the door, about to leave the room, I looked back for the tiniest instant to see him. His eyes were like fire. His cock was still hard, but thankfully concealed by the hanging of his shirt. His fists were clenched, his face red with veins throbbing along his temples like terrible, living snakes. His eyes met mine, and I heard his leering, lecherous voice in my head as clear as day: “You may have survived this battle, Erica my sweet, but you will not survive the war. I will have you, one way or another.”
I swallowed, gripped harder at Belton’s hand, and left.
# # #
I was only distantly aware of my body as the janitor led me through the office, and out into the parking garage. I felt as if I was watching myself from a great distance, my stupid, bruised body wincing as it walked. The drying streaks of tears on my cheeks seemed as if they had been painted on a doll’s face. “That woman is not me,” I thought. “She’s some other lady, to whom terrible things happen. Not me.”
“You can call the police, you know,” Belton’s voice interrupted, drawing back to the present. “I’ll back you up.” I jumped and looked at him with stricken eyes.
“I—I don’t. My job…” I started, not sure of what I was saying even as I said it.
Belton shrugged. “I see a lot of things, in this job. I know you’re not the only woman who has suffered at the hands of those big corporate honchos. Seems to me less people would be hurt if it became known.”
I gazed back at him, and, to my enormous shame, tears once again filled my eyes. The last thing I wanted to do in the entire world was talk about this to anyone. In fact, I wanted to go home, go to bed, and pretend none of this had ever happened. I would never speak of it again. Did that make me weak? Probably. But after my helplessness before Blade, I guessed that question had already been answered.
“I’m sorry,” I managed at last. “I can’t.”
“Yup,” Belton replied, looking away. He did not seem surprised or judgmental. Simply resigned.
We walked in silence to my car. Like the truest of gentlemen, he opened the door for me and even held my purse as I settled in. These actions, however faintly, did produce a small amount of warmth in what I felt was a freezing heart. He, at least, was a nice guy.
Taking a deep breath, I nodded to him, and drove away.
Chapter Thirteen
Erica
It takes me an hour longer than usual to get home. Even though I have made the drive a million times before, I kept getting lost. Missing turns. Taking wrong ones. It was as if I was deliberately wandering the streets, looking for something.
Or perhaps, it was that going home meant closing my eyes. I suppose I was afraid of what waited behind those lids.
At last, however, exhaustion won over fear, and I found myself pulling into my dark, moonlit driveway. The air was cold when I stepped out of the car, but I did not mind it on my skin. It was as if everything––the cold, the pain in my chin, hip, and ankle––were a million miles away.
I entered the house, kicked off my clothing right onto the kitchen floor, and practically fell into the shower. The heat of it helped to get some feeling back into my skin, and I stayed in there for at least an hour, not even scrubbing, but simply letting the water wash over my trembling, aching bones. At long last, when the hot water ran out, I turned the shower off, toweled dry, and toppled into bed.
Still, I was afraid to close my eyes. To let my mind open up to the horrors that I was sure were waiting for me as soon as I relaxed.
I turned into my pillow, fighting back tears, my breath coming in great, wrenching gasps. It was then that I noticed, buried in the linen of my sheets and pillowcases, that familiar, intoxicating scent.
My sheets still smelled of Dominic. Cigarettes. Gasoline. Pine trees. The wind and skies and open roads.
My sheets smelled of freedom.
I clutched them to me, like a child clutching a comforting toy. Every scented breath I took was comfort, drawing life back into my body. It made me aware of the pain, yes, but also the good things. The fragrance, of course. The soothing coolness of my sheets. The soft embrace of the pillows. I realized that I missed a man’s touch. Brian’s? Dominic’s? I wasn’t sure. But a man’s.
Like someone meditating, I breathed in and out, only focusing on the smell, until, at long last, I fell asleep.
# # #
That night, I had a dream. I knew it was a dream in the same way that someone knows a movie must be fiction: because it is too good to be true. This dream was vivid––so lifelike that it could have been mistaken for real, if not for what happened within it.
I was back in my office. I could feel the linoleum floors beneath my feet. The polished smoothness of my desk upon my elbows. Hell, I could even smell that unique, but not unpleasant, office smell of freshly printed paper. The pile of reports I had been working on was splayed out before me, and even as I filled them out, the ink of my pen disappeared.
And yet, I did not despair. Instead, I raised my arms and swept them, in a single, fluid motion, into the bin. The fluttered down like leaves in the wind, and I smiled.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Blade!” I called, my voice deep and strong as a theater actress. “But I simply will not do these! And it is preposterous that you asked!”
Growling from behind exaggerated, slimy snaggleteeth, Mr. Blade emerged from his office. He was so bent and deformed he looked more like some golem or a troll than a human being, and yet the similarity was undeniable: this creature was my boss.
“But, Erica,” the thing wheezed, weak and twitchy. “I told you to.”
“I don’t care!” The dream-me declared. She stood up, at least five inches taller, and yet, somehow, ten pounds lighter. “You’re a horrible boss, and an asshole to boot!”
He leered at me, like a wolf baring its fangs, and approached.
“Well then,” he growled, “I suppose I am just going to have to make you!”
With greenish, long-nailed hands he reached to unbuckle his pants. His cock emerged, pink and ugly as a naked rat. He gripped it and lunged at me.
In real life, I would have been fainting with terror by this point. But in my dream, I did not scream. I did not run away. Instead, I lifted one, finely heeled shoe and kicked him square
in the testicles.
“Argh!” He yipped, like a child, like a dog whose tail has been trodden on. He gripped his ugly manhood and toppled to the floor, twitching as if I’d electrified him. I laughed in triumph, towering over him, lifting my heel up, up, up, ready to slam down and finish the job, like a nail through a pair of oranges…
That was when I noticed the gun.
“Hey! That’s not fair!” I cried, stumbling back, as the creature regained its feet before me. Even as I watched, muscles seemed to swell over its sickly, lopsided frame, and its jagged, salient teeth sharpened into fangs.
It leveled the gun at me and said, in a voice like a wolf’s, “Now, take your clothes off.”
I stared at him, thundering not with fear but with rage, for he had cheated by using the gun. Any man is made powerful with a gun, even if he’s a weakling.