by Nicole Helm
“Hi, um, it’s Vivvy.”
He didn’t need her to tell him that, but it was kind of cute. He glanced to make sure Ryan had left the room before he let himself smile. “I wasn’t expecting you to call me so soon.”
“I guess I wasn’t expecting it, either.”
She didn’t sound happy about it. “So, what’s up?” When she was silent in response, his stomach started a slow sink. “Bad news, I take it?”
“I...” More silence. “I need to talk to you about the show.”
It was stupid to feel relieved that whatever was wrong was about the show. As long as something wasn’t wrong between them. They hadn’t exactly left things on sure footing, but he thought they’d made some kind of progress. She’d been happy he’d shown up, she’d made love to him with all the emotion she couldn’t seem to vocalize. That had to mean something.
Since she wasn’t talking, he offered her a prompt. “How was the meeting? Go well?”
“No, it didn’t.” She paused for a long time, the silence in his ear taking on a life of its own. “They want to stick with the family idea,” she said, softly enough that it took a few seconds to process the words.
Too bad. He’d kind of looked forward to working with Ryan and having him around more. Nate plopped onto the couch. “I’m sorry, Viv. I know this was a big deal for you.”
“Yeah.” He could hear her exhale loudly. “Nate, I need you to consider doing the show with your family.”
He’d heard her wrong. Had to have. The sinking feeling over her long silences turned sharp, a hard jagged edge scraping down his gut. “Excuse me?”
“I know you’re against it. I know it’s not what you want, but...I need this. Maybe there’s a way to make it not so bad.” Desperation tinged her words, but it didn’t dissolve the anger simmering in his gut. “It wouldn’t hurt you. I know your family might not come off that great—”
“That great? Are you serious?” She still wanted him to do the show with his family. After everything she’d seen. After every conversation they’d had. After flying to goddamn California she wanted him to forget everything and do the show.
After everything he thought they’d been together. Something hot and constricting banded around his chest. Anger and frustration bubbling.
“I know it’s frustrating. But this is what my bosses want.”
Her calm, rational explanation scraped at his nerves. “Yeah, what about what I want?”
“Nate...”
Nate shook his head. “I can’t do it, Vivvy. I’m sorry. I can’t be some clown so you can do your job. This is my family, my reputation. You get that, right?” Her silence prompted the simmering anger into something darker, less reasonable.
“It’s my reputation, too.” Her voice wasn’t steady or sure.
“It’s a job, Vivvy. And I know you love it, but it’s not you. It’s not a dream your grandfather built from the ground up. It’s not the same. Find someone else. Something else.”
“But, you’re my last shot, okay? You’re my last shot. You have to agree. You have to.”
He was too pissed off to accept the panic in her voice. Too far away to find some rationale in all this. “No one signed any contracts. I don’t have to do anything.”
“Nate—”
“I’m sorry. Really, but you knew. How can you ask me this, Vivvy? You knew I wouldn’t agree.”
Silence greeted him. Nate took a deep breath, let it out. “Honey, surely there’s another decent idea out there.”
“You don’t get it. I don’t have time for another idea. Can’t you do this for me, Nate? Please.”
Nate felt like he’d been sucker punched. He’d been so sure they were on the same page. Even if she hadn’t said it. Even if she hadn’t put words to what she was feeling, he’d been so sure she was feeling the same things he was. Now? Not so much. “So, it’s my pride or yours? My reputation or yours?” He laughed bitterly. “I can’t do it.”
“Neither can I,” she replied softly.
“I guess that’s it, then.”
“I guess so.”
Hurt and anger and a vicious need to pound something to dust throbbed through his body. “Good-bye.” He didn’t wait for her to return it before hanging up.
He barely resisted hurling the phone across the room, but he gripped the phone so tightly in his hands it was a wonder he didn’t crush the plastic.
That’s what he got for believing in things that seemed too good to be true. They always were.
Chapter Fifteen
Guilt wasn’t a new emotion for Vivvy. In fact, when it came to relationships, guilt was usually the front-runner feeling. Guilt for not being the girlfriend her significant other wanted her to be.
Nate wanted her to sacrifice something for him, and while she understood he had more connection to Harrington than she had to her job, it didn’t mean her job wasn’t important to her. Her job was everything. It was the only constant in her adult life.
Without her job...
She’d be just as miserable as she was right now. So what did it matter?
Vivvy pushed that thought away. There weren’t any other options here. She loved her job. Loved scouting TV shows, and she was good at it. It used her skill set, and didn’t ask her to care, to get attached to something and then have it ripped away.
She’d spent the past two days thinking up ways for Nate to see the light, but she’d spent too much time with him and Jed and Millard to really want to see them exploited. If she convinced him, she’d never be able to live with herself. If she didn’t convince him, what did she have?
In order to save herself she had to find a way to screw them over.
“You look like a girl in need of a drink.”
She looked up at Ellen and attempted a friendly smile. “I’m sorry, I don’t really feel like going out tonight. I promise, some other night.”
“We’ll stay in. My apartment isn’t much, but there’s a lot of booze in it.”
Vivvy almost managed a laugh. She looked at Ellen, tried to make this woman out. Places reversed, if she put herself out there and someone kept keeping her at arm’s length, she certainly wouldn’t keep trying.
Too tired to weigh the question, she blurted it out. “Why are you always so nice to me?”
“Honestly?” Ellen plopped her hip down on the corner of Vivvy’s desk. “You remind me of my sister. She’s so uptight and serious all the time. Focused. She needs someone to lighten her up from time to time, and that someone was me till she married the prick of a husband she loves so much.” Ellen rolled her eyes. “Anyway, I’m out an uptight friend to goad and you look like you need a friend to goad you. So...here I am. Ready to be your friend. If you’re interested. I’d befriend Deanna but if I had to listen to that voice any more than I already do, I’d jump out a window.”
Vivvy could only stare. It was really rather ridiculous, which was...kind of refreshing. “In all that booze you have, is there wine?”
“At least five bottles.”
Vivvy stood, nodded. “Let’s go.”
Ellen clapped her hands together. “Yay!”
About five hours later, more than a little tipsy, Vivvy sat on the couch of a woman she barely knew, drinking wine from a box, and waxing poetic about a man who probably never wanted to see her again.
“I admire him, you know? He runs his own business. Doesn’t have to kneel down to Lee or Gerry for their approval and not get it. Actually, this is all Lee and Gerry’s fault. Yes. They’re so blind. My idea is great. Better than the original. But heaven forbid a woman have an idea around there.”
“They’re so gross. I’m pretty sure Lee has never looked me in the eye once. Always too busy staring at my rack. Pig.” Ellen sprawled out on her raggedy teal couch, nursing some pink drink she’d mixed herself.
Her apartment had style. It felt like home. Like Ellen. Nate would just love it, wouldn’t he?
“You know what you should do?” Ellen propped herself up on h
er elbow. “You should tell someone else your idea. Like, an enemy company or something. That’d show ’em.”
“Trade one group of assholes for another. I should just make the damn show myself is what I should do.”
Ellen sat straight up. “Could you?”
Vivvy laughed. She started to say no, but... Well...could she? Starting her own business had always seemed like such a pipe dream, and maybe in LA it was, but Nate did it. He ran Harrington. She’d watched him. She knew what a good boss looked like.
“I think we’re about to have a breakthough here,” Ellen said, taking Vivvy’s glass away. “We need clear heads.” She grabbed all the alcohol and dumped it into her kitchen sink, then returned with a notebook.
“Okay. What would it take? To do it yourself?”
Vivvy swallowed. “I...I don’t know.” She tried to fight the fuzziness in her brain. “I’d have to read my contract with Tyson, make sure it’s not stealing intellectual property or whatever.”
Ellen scribbled something down. “Need to talk to a lawyer.”
“Yes, and, well, I’d have to get Nate and Ryan to agree.” The excitement ended abruptly. “I don’t see that happening.”
“He came to LA to visit you, Vivvy. For an afternoon. That’s, like, a big deal.”
“But...I hurt him when I asked if he’d do the show with his family. He’s angry with me and—”
“Flew to LA for an afternoon.”
“Is this what I’ve been missing out on with the whole friendship thing?”
“Booze, guy talk, building a business, all that’s left is hating our bodies and we’re like every women’s magazine wants us to be.”
Vivvy swallowed down the fear, the uncertainty, the insecurity that had kept her from going after the things she wanted. If it had kept her away from a friendship with Ellen, a relationship with Nate, a business of her own...it wasn’t worth validating for another second.
“All right, put ‘quit Tyson’ on the list. Then ‘go to Demo’ right under it.”
Ellen let out a little victory cry. Yup. Victory. That’s exactly what Vivvy was going for.
…
“Nate, I don’t like it any more than you do, but Mom’s right.”
Nate stared out the window of his grandparents’ house. The fact Mom and Dad had moved in after Grandma had died didn’t make it any less his grandparents’ house.
Mom took a long drag of a cigarette. “I can’t do it anymore. And I tried. Don’t try to tell me I didn’t. I’ve been following him around like a damned bodyguard. I just can’t do it anymore.”
Nate wanted this to be her fault, but no emotion could cloud the fact that she’d been a godsend when it came to Grandpa. He wasn’t even her father.
“All right.” What else was there to say? What else was there to do? Maybe if he, Mom, and Ryan tag-teamed Grandpa they could keep him under control, but for how long? And what happened when Grandpa fell again? What happened if he disappeared at night? The only answer was to put Grandpa in a nursing home.
“Just so you know, your dad and I can’t afford it.”
Nate laughed bitterly. Yeah, no shit. “I’ll handle it.” He handled everything else, didn’t he? “Ry will help you out for a few days. I’ll get something lined up as soon as possible.”
Nate didn’t miss Ry open his mouth to argue, but he didn’t have the strength to listen to it right now. So he walked out.
Unfortunately, Ryan followed. “Hey, listen, I’ve got some money. And maybe if the show thing works out—”
“There’s no show,” Nate retorted. He should have told Ry sooner, but he’d wanted to keep Ry on at Harrington. Until he admitted it’s where he wanted to be.
“What do you mean, no show?”
Nate kept walking to his truck. “I mean, I told Vivvy we’re not doing it.”
“But—”
He stopped and turned to face his brother. “Look, in the end they wanted the family angle. Everything else was BS. So it’s over.”
Ryan studied him for a minute. “And you don’t just mean the show.”
“No, I don’t.” Nate wrenched his driver’s side door open.
“Sorry, man.”
“Yeah, well.” He didn’t know what to do with Ryan’s sympathy, so he hefted himself into the driver’s seat. “Stay here. Help Mom. I’ll do the rest.”
“Maybe I should head back to Kansas City. Get out of your hair.”
Nate shrugged. “Do whatever.” It wouldn’t surprise him.
“Nate, I’m just trying to help. If you want me to stay—”
Nate couldn’t stand to listen to it. He was screwed. Well and truly. Alone. Well and truly.
Thank you, Vivvy Marsh.
Chapter Sixteen
Nate slogged through another day at work and tried not to think about Grandpa’s slightly confused expression when he and Ryan had dropped him off at the nursing home for good.
Dad had disappeared again—no surprise there—so it had been up to Nate and Ryan to get everything situated. Nate swallowed a mixture of nausea, hurt, and anger. All three had been bubbling in his stomach for three days, and they only got worse when his heart continued to ignore his brain and wish for Vivvy.
There should be no part of him left that wanted her, but there was. He wanted comfort. Her straightforward way about things. But she wanted something he couldn’t give her. He wouldn’t put his family, his name, his reputation on the line for a TV show. And that TV show meant everything to her.
That was it. End of story. No other endings possible.
Nate shoved his arms into the sleeves of his coat. He had to get away from Harrington. Too much reminded him of Grandpa and Vivvy. He didn’t want to think about either of them.
Nate stomped out of the office into the cold evening. Rain possibly turning into ice had been predicted. So far everything was cold, dark, but thankfully dry. Hunching under his coat, he stopped short on the porch when he noticed a strange car parked on the lot and a figure standing next to it.
He recognized straight dark hair on pale skin and the shape of a body he’d had his hands on many times.
Shock slammed hard against his ribs. “Vivvy.”
There was no way she could have heard him with the distance between them. Nate shook off the heavy feeling in his chest, steeled his mouth into a scowl, and didn’t move from the porch.
Maybe his hands itched to touch, maybe his feet were dying to move, but he’d be damned if he was going to fall for this again. If she thought a personal appeal was going to get him to agree to his family being on this show after he’d had to put Grandpa into the nursing home, she was going to get one hell of a surprise.
“Hey, you leaving?” Ryan pushed open the door and stepped out onto the porch. “Next time, tell a guy.”
Nate didn’t tear his gaze from Vivvy’s approaching form, but he assumed Ryan stopped because he saw her, too.
She was all dolled up to the business nines. Black suit, hair straight as an arrow, big bag secured on her shoulder. When she finally approached the porch, she squared her shoulders and smiled.
“Evening. I apologize for showing up without notice.” Her eyes flicked from Nate to Ryan then back to Nate. “I was hoping you’d both have a few minutes to discuss business.”
“We couldn’t do that over the phone?”
Nate was glad his brother was speaking because he didn’t trust his own voice to have the same disdain.
This time, Vivvy’s eyes didn’t leave Nate’s. “I’m afraid not. All I ask is a few minutes of your time, gentlemen. I’d like to propose something to you both. If you’re not interested, I’ll leave.”
Business. She was standing in front of him yapping about business after everything. Business? What was wrong with her? What the hell was wrong with him for wanting to scoop her up into a hug? To hold on to her and feel some kind of peace.
Ryan was faltering. Nate didn’t need to look at him to know his brother’s silence meant he was think
ing. Though Nate was determined to wash his hands of TV and California and stupid ideas, Ryan was still holding onto some hope they could make this work.
“I’m going home,” Nate muttered. As he passed Vivvy, he was careful not to make any physical contact.
“Nate.” Her voice was quiet and pleading, not the strong businesswoman who had approached them.
Nate stopped, clenching his fists. Damn it. He did not want to be drawn back into this. He just needed to keep walking. Go home. Maybe drink himself into oblivion. He was not going to turn around and listen to what Vivvy had to say. He had enough people in his life who couldn’t stick around; he wasn’t going to let one more worm her way in just because she begged.
“I realize I’ve made some mistakes in how I handled this.” Her voice was back to strong, but her words pulled at him. He couldn’t just walk away. No matter how much anger and bitterness had built up over the past week.
“I want to make it up to you,” she continued. “Both of you. I just need a few minutes and if you don’t like what you hear, I promise I’ll go away for good.”
“Nate, come on. Let’s just listen to what she has to say.”
When Nate finally turned around, Ryan was holding the door open for Vivvy, but she was waiting.
She cleared her throat, looked straight at him. “Please.”
Damn it. Nate didn’t say anything, but he stepped inside the office. He didn’t want to talk business. He didn’t want another plea to put his crazy family on TV. She’d made her choice and he’d made his. End of story. Dragging it out was a recipe for disaster. They couldn’t do this. She didn’t belong here and they wanted different things.
What could she possibly have to say that would change any of it?
“Can we go into the meeting room?” Vivvy asked behind him.
Jaw tight, Nate walked into the back of the office and the meeting room.
When they arranged themselves around the table, it was the Harrington twins versus Vivvy. She sat where his father had sat not very long ago. Vivvy had been on the same team then. Things had certainly changed.