by Eva Luxe
The view of the hospital lobby loomed over me as people were coming and going, some on stretchers and some in wheelchairs.
Sam didn’t deserve this fate— didn’t deserve to have to be here. My brother was big and loud and affectionate, and made a joke out of everything. He didn’t belong in a place like this, no matter how kind the nurses were or how cutting edge the technology was. He shouldn’t be lying still, with tubes running in and out of him, fighting for his life.
I swallowed my depression and gathered as much courage as I could, but I still dragged my feet as I entered the hospital and retraced my steps back up to his room for what felt like the thousandth time.
The elevator would’ve been easier, but I needed to keep myself in motion until I laid eyes on him. Elevators were starting to feel a little claustrophobic.
I got to his room and shoved through the door. “Sam, you wouldn’t believe this new—”
His bed was empty. Oh, God, what had happened?
“Nurse, nurse!” I ran to the small nurses’ station a few steps away from Sam’s door. “What happened to my brother? Why isn’t he in his room?”
“Oh, Willow, calm down,” the nurse said, getting up from her desk and hugging my shoulders.
Her tone and the way she kind of patted me on the back like I was a child let me know that everyone here was sick of how often I freaked out. But I couldn’t help it— I was known to speak my mind and be a little high strung and hyper no matter what the occasion, and who could blame me for being worried in such a situation? I was glad the nurses were kind but I was beginning to realize I was getting on their nerves.
“He’s fine,” the nurse continued. “He was just moved to another room in the hospital.”
I breathed a shaky sigh of relief and wiped my eyes.
The nurse took me to another station. While I stood to the side waiting, trying my very best to be patient— which certainly was not my strong suit— she leafed through some papers and clicked around on her computer.
Willow, stop being weak. You need to be strong. If something had happened, they would’ve called the family. Breathe. Sam will be fine. Then you can nag him again about his annoying tendency to leave the toilet seat up.
This wasn’t fair. Sam was a good guy, and an awesome brother…when he didn’t leave the bathroom a mess.
“Here we go, he’s in the north wing of the hospital in room 24B. I’ll take you there. It can get confusing trying to get over to that wing of the hospital.”
She smiled at me, her humanity winning out— or maybe she was just happy to be getting rid of me— but either way, I was grateful.
I smiled back at her. “Thank you.”
On our way over, the nurse started an idle chatter about her family. I guess it was to soothe my nerves. Every word she said went in one ear and out the other.
I tried to pay attention as she told me something about her plans for the weekend including a family barbeque, and then asking me what my plans were. I had tunnel vision, thinking that I would just be here all weekend, of course. All I cared about was my brother.
It was hard enough that Mom and Dad were too busy to come see him very much. But if I had to look out for him by myself, then I would. Lord knew he’d looked out for me often enough.
“Okay, we’re in the north wing, and his room is right down the hall.”
I ran ahead of her, counting the rooms as I passed each door.
There. I found it.
I waved at the nurse and she waved back, turning around to return to her station. Maybe she had never been annoyed with me, and it was all in my head. I seemed to be going crazy due to anxiety lately.
I pulled on the door and went inside.
“Sam! There you are.”
He didn’t respond. I knew he was in a coma, but every time I spoke to him, I felt like he’d magically wake up and say something.
Wake up, please wake up soon.
I wiped the hair from his forehead to the side. The bruises were going down, and he looked peaceful. They said he wasn’t in any pain, and I clung to that reassurance. I’d die if I knew he was in pain.
I settled into the chair next to his bed, getting comfortable for a long visit.
“So, I wanted to let you know that I’m trying my hand at bar tending,” I said, taking his hand. “It’s at this weird strip joint, but I’m not a stripper. I swear.”
His hand was warm, a good reminder that he was alive and could still come back to me.
“I don’t make money like the dancers, but the pay is decent, and the tips are too. I had to drop out of school though. Money has gotten tight with the family. But I’ll go back, okay? So don’t yell at me for dropping out. It’s just temporary.”
I rubbed his hand and looked at the monitors and machines that were attached to him.
“We’re suing that person who hit you,” I said with a sniffle, “but the courts are taking their time. We’re doing our best. You’ll be fine though. And maybe we’ll have a bigger house and you’ll have your own bathroom to mess up as much as you want.”
Who was I kidding? There was no way I could sit here and pretend I was Ms. Emotionless. I had a heart, and it was being stabbed repeatedly.
I wished I could’ve stopped him from going out that night. But how was I to know he would be hit?
I began humming, and then singing a song.
Don’t worry, be happy…
The song was as much for me as it was for him. I needed to remind myself that worrying didn’t do any good.
But as I continued to sing, I couldn’t help but smile, suppressing a giggle. It was a weird thing to be trying not to laugh in a hospital room, at one of my darkest hours. Yet it was also funny that I was singing, because Sam always used to tease me that I was tone deaf. When we were little he would yell, “NO SINGING” at me, and I would keep going, just to keep annoying him, which was my job as his sister.
It was a game we would play sometimes, on long car trips when we were bored, or while fishing down by the creek. He would tell me to stop singing because I would scare away the fish— they’d have to swim away from me because my voice was so bad. Or he’d tell Mom and Dad to kick me out of the car for subjecting everyone to my awful voice.
Even though it was a joke that was exaggerated out of proportion, I knew he was right— I couldn’t sing to save my life. But now I was hoping that I could sing to save his. I knew how ridiculous that sounded, but I had to focus on something to keep myself from going insane.
Suddenly, there were a few soft knocks at the door. I zipped my lips—another phrase Sam used to tell me to do while singing— and I turned around, to see a middle-aged man in a three-piece suit strolling in.
“You must be one of the Reigns. Related to Samual Reign, correct? How are you?” he asked.
“Yes, I’m Willow. His sister. And I guess I’m fine.”
I looked back at Sam and his host of machines, wanting to ask the guy how he thought I was, but refraining. Sometimes it takes everything I have to hold back my sarcastic comments.
“I’m sorry, we were just moved to this wing,” I told him. “Who are you?”
“I’m with the hospital administration,” he said brusquely. “Ms. Reign. I’d like to collect some other insurance info from you for your brother if you happen to know it.”
“You already have his info.” I wiped my eyes.
“I know,” he said, frowning, “but that insurance has called us and recently said they could no longer cover his medical needs.”
I jumped out of my chair.
“That’s impossible! He’s still on our parents’ insurance! What about that man who hit him? He was taken here too, right? Why don’t you ask him?”
The man checked his clipboard.
“I’m sorry, Ms. Reign. But he passed away this morning.”
I pushed past the doctor and ran down the hallway. Why did all of this bad luck have to happen? That was my brother in there, and all the hospital cared about wa
s money.
I bumped into people, I tripped on a person’s leg, but no matter what obstacle was in my path to slow me down, I had to get out of that hospital. I couldn’t sit there with Sam knowing that he would think he was one more bill we had to pay.
For the first time since the accident, I hoped he couldn’t hear what was going on around him. I didn’t want him to find out that there was no money to help him get better, because then he might give up.
Chapter 2 – Willow
When I got to the bus stop, I broke down crying.
I pulled out my cell phone and through my blurry vision, I pushed the fast dial button for my father.
“Hey there, darling. How are you?” my father asked.
“Daddy! The hospital said the insurance is gone. They said the insurance dropped him. And the guy who hit him is dead!”
He sighed, leaving a few moments of silence between us before he responded.
“Willow, darling, I already knew about that. We’re trying to work something out, your mother and I.”
My grip around the phone tightened.
“What? You knew and didn’t tell me?” my voice shook. “I visit him every damn day. I’m the only person who comes to see him and you didn’t tell me?”
“Willow, please,” he said wearily. “You know─”
I hung up. I hated when my father got that patronizing tone, and I knew it wasn’t worth fighting with him. I was hurt that he didn’t trust me to inform me about things, but, I had learned by now that there was nothing I could do about it.
The bus arrived and opened its doors. I looked at it blankly. I still couldn’t get over the fact that my parents had known about this and hadn’t told me.
I dragged myself on the bus and slid my transfer card through the machine.
My body felt lifeless. Sam deserved better than this. My family had fallen apart after that car incident. And I was beginning to think it wasn’t going to come back together again.
Instead of returning home, I stopped by the local social services and got a bunch of papers containing information for places that helped with medical bills. A brief review, however, only delivered more gloom and doom to my already awful news. Medicaid wasn’t going to cover it, we couldn’t afford a new private policy, and the churches that were on the list only offered medical care up to a hundred dollars.
I threw the papers away and opted to walk to work to clear my head. It’s going to be fine. Sam might just wake up and come out of this. He’s always been a lucky bastard. He really needs to pull one of his larger than life stunts now.
I was remembering a time when we were little and Sam took me for a ride on our cousin’s ATV. He was going too fast and ran into a fence. We both went flying off the vehicle but Sam remained unscathed, whereas I ended up in the hospital with a broken arm.
At the time, I had been mad at him for endangering me without experiencing any consequences himself. I always thought he would never learn. But, looking back now, I can’t help but smile a little bit at his luck, and hope that it continues now in his adulthood, when he so desperately needs it most.
Ten minutes later I had finally arrived at my job, which gave me a little comfort. At least I had something else to focus on. As soon as I walked into the bar, my boss looked at me, raising an eyebrow.
“Well hello there, Willow. You’re half an hour early. Something I can help you with?”
“Hey Mr. Brent. Just wanted to come here early,” I told him. “I don’t have anything else to do.”
“Hmm, well okay. You know I don’t pay overtime.”
He gestured with his cigar, and a few ashes fell to the bar. My boss was a rough around the edges type of guy, to put it nicely, who liked to proudly declare that he had registered with the city as a cigar bar for a special license, so that no one could tell him he couldn’t smoke his cigar in his own damn establishment.
I shook my head and looked for a rag to wipe the ashes off. “Yeah, I know.”
I worked around the bar, cleaning bottles and shot glasses. Mr. Brent didn’t seem to care, as long as, I didn’t clock in yet. Once my shift had officially started, I began asking customers what they would like to drink.
Late afternoon settled in as I walked back and forth, pouring beer and mixing cocktails and trying to make small talk with the customers. It was hard in a place like this, where the kind of small talk they wanted to make involved the words, “Show us your tits.”
Try as I might, I couldn’t forget my brother’s predicament. Sam’s peaceful face in my mind tore me apart. How long would it be before they took him off the machine? Could they do that; was it even legal? I couldn’t see how this would be any different than murder if my brother died because of the lack of money.
One of the dancers sat down at the bar table and took out a wad of cash. She began to count it, and I couldn’t help but stare at it like it was a beacon of light.
I knew they made money.
But that looked like cash sufficient to pay off medical bills type of money.
“Stacy,” I asked, pushing her a shot of tequila, which I knew was her favorite. “Is that how much a dancer can make in a week?”
She pushed her lips to the side in thought and downed her shot.
“Not really. Maybe if you’re new? I made this last night. I was just too busy to count it, ya know. Mr. B skims two hundred a night and we keep the rest.”
My eyes fell out of my sockets. “Wait, he takes two hundred and you still have all that left?”
She chuckled. “Yep. That way we don’t have to worry about a percentage.”
My eyes lingered on the money for a second.
Sacrifice.
A sacrifice had to be made.
I pushed Stacy a drink on the house and went over to Mr. Brent’s office.
“Hey, Boss?” I asked, peeking my head into his office.
“Come in, Willow.”
I slipped in and sat down in front of his small desk.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. “I knew something was up with you today.”
“I want to be a dancer.”
I said it in a rush, before I could change my mind.
“You want to dance for me?” He grinned and shoved his cigar back in his mouth. “It’s about damn time you asked. You want to know how many men have asked if you were going to be getting out from behind that bar and onto a pole?”
“Maybe I’d rather not know? But I’d love to start tonight.”
He got up and motioned for me to follow him. He took me into another part of the building I had never been before; it was the dancer’s area. There were lockers and a lot of counter space with mirrors on top, with makeup spilling out onto all surfaces. The tiny, shiny scraps of clothing they wore were hanging on racks as well as draped across chairs. The ones they had already worn on stage had clearly been tossed off in favor of a new outfit, and littered the floor, next to tons of high heels. I mean, really high heels.
“Just dress as skimpy as possible, you can use anything here. Since you’re new, I’ll just skim fifteen percent until you hit a stride.”
I clutched at my shirt. “Thank you, Mr. Brent. I really appreciate this.”
He nodded. “Say, you’ve always been the mild mannered sweet one here, the girl next door type and all of that, so what makes you want to be a dancer?”
“Well, the medical insurance to keep my brother on the breathing machine dropped his coverage, so…”
“I see.” He shook his head, his cigar wobbling back and forth. “Damn greedy motherfuckers. They like to collect money, but don’t want to pay it out. My grandfather passed away like that.”
He patted my shoulder. “You’ll be fine. Get out there and dance a bit. That’ll help brighten up your mood, and fill up that bank account of yours as well.”
And his, too.
“Thanks, Mr. Brent.”
He left to go back to his office, and I stood still in the middle of the room like an awkward lamp post.
/> “Huh, this stuff is really skimpy,” I mumbled to myself, picking up a sheer thong. But it was no different than a bathing suit, right?
Right, keep telling yourself that…
“Hey, whatcha doing back here?” Stacy asked, popping up behind me.
“I’m a dancer now,” I said, shrugging a little.
“Really? Mr. B just let you on just like that? Sheesh, that’s fast. He made me audition for him and he told me to gain a few pounds. Said the guys here like women with some meat on their bones and I was too scrawny. How rude, right?”
“Yeah, that is rude,” I told her.
I felt bad for her. But for once, that extra weight I could never seem to drop seemed to have worked in my favor rather than against me.
Stacy sat down at her makeup station. “It doesn’t matter. I never really gained the weight because my metabolism is good no matter how many burgers I eat.”
“Must be rough,” I said, laughing.
“I know, right? The good thing is that Mr. B seemed to forget about his instructions. I think there are men who like all kinds of different body types here. Once he saw that they were happy to continue buying drinks and watching me, he dropped the whole issue.”
“That’s good,” I said. “You look great just as you are.”
I blushed as I said this, as it implied I had been watching her naked body on stage. I had only meant that I liked her figure and admired her confidence. But I was afraid I had come off creepy. If she thought so, though, she didn’t say anything and instead just patted the bench beside her.
“Come sit right here, you can have this spot next to me. I can show you the ropes.” She looked me up and down, then shook her head. “Someone as innocent looking as you is gonna need a few tips!”
I sat down next to Stacy and watched in the mirror as she did my makeup and hair and picked out an outfit with a matching pair of shoes.
“There are some guys here who like the innocent look, so I’m not doing you up too much,” she said, like a school mom tasked with training me in the ways of exotic dancing. “But most of them think we’re bad girls and that if they pay us enough in tips when we’re on stage, we’ll do extra things for them when we give them lap dances. So it’s not good to look like a goody two shoes. No offense.”