by Eva Luxe
I tossed my flowing white dress from side to side, marveling at the detailed beadwork. I adjusted my tiara and a large smile emerges on my face.
“You look lovely, darling,” my mother, Bonnie, said from behind me as I turned around at the sight of her in the mirror.
She came up behind me and placed her hands on my shoulders, the two of us sharing a moment of familiarity at the situation. “I have something for you.”
I faced back toward the mirror as my mother placed a pearl necklace around my neck, a tear sparkling in her eye.
“Thank you, mom,” I said, as I turned around to hug her.
When I pulled away, my mother tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, the way she did when I was a little girl.
“Willow, I know your father and I were a bit apprehensive about your and Darien’s engagement,” my mother said, looking away from me and toward the window. The rolling green hills of the Irish countryside stretched out before us for miles. “It was mostly due to Darien being so much older than you. And I know how unhappy you were about our initial disapproval. But I’m glad to say now that I couldn’t be happier for you. He’s a good man and I know he will treat you right, just as he treats Ariel right.”
I followed my mother to the window and put a hand on her shoulder. “I never wanted to disappoint you and dad, but I’m doing what is best for me. And Darien is what’s best for me. He’s a wonderful father and he’s going to be a great husband. And I glad to know that you see that as well.”
“All I want is for my daughter to be happy,” my mother said, taking hold of my hands.
“I am happy, mom. Happier than I’ve been in a long time.”
“I see that now,” Mother said, and pulled me into another tight hug. “Well, we better get going. Stacy’s on her way in with your bags.”
My mother turned and headed toward the door. “I’ll see you out there,” she said and gave me a tender smile.
A few moments later, my Maid of Honor, Stacy, walked into the room, decked out in her purple bridesmaid dress and her long hair piled on top of her head. She caught one look at me and broke out into a wide smile.
“Girl, you look amazing,” Stacy said, putting down my bags on a chair in the corner. “That beadwork is incredible. I don’t know how you ever thought that first dress could have been the one.” She laughed and gave me a hug.
“I have no idea either,” I said, examining myself in the mirror again. “Can you imagine that side slit out there in even a small amount of wind?”
“All your guests would be seeing what only Darien gets a glimpse of tonight,” Stacy said, a large smirk emerging on her face.
I hit her lightly on the arm, unable to help myself from laughing.
“Did you ever think you’d be here right now?” Stacy asked, adjusting my dress with her hands, her fingers running along the shiny beads. “When we first met, we were in a very different place.”
“Honestly, I didn’t,” I said, sitting down on a nearby chair, careful as to not crumble my dresses’ fabric. “Back then, the only thing I saw ahead of me was loneliness. I was caught up in worrying about Sam and just trying to get by. And I was fine with that. Until one day I wasn’t. I’m glad I decided to leave that life behind. It was a chapter I needed to close in order to start a new one.”
I felt like I was smiling too much, but I also didn’t care. It was my wedding day and I was happy.
“Now, I love what I’m doing. Being Darien’s assistant has been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And that’s not simply because we fell in love. It’s because I was finally able to trust myself and that I finally believed I could have more. If I wanted.” I folded my hands in my lap, unable to resist having a constant smile plastered on my face.
“You really are about to have it, huh?” Stacy smiled sadly at me as she tucked a strand of her behind her ear, the way she did when she was feeling down.
I could tell she was happy for me but sad for herself. I appreciated that she was trying to pull herself together for my wedding day, but, it was clear she was in the same stage of loneliness and despondency that I’d been in before my life had turned around for the better.
“You will too, Stacy,” I said, getting up from the chair and walking over towards her. “We’ve never been people to regret the things we’ve done. We’ve always just moved on to the next thing without looking back. We don’t have to be ashamed of what we did in the past. Because it’s not shameful. It was our life and now we’re both moving on to a new one. If we hadn’t both been working at that club on that particular night, we would not be here right now. Together. And I wouldn’t want anyone else by my side.”
I hugged Stacy, holding her tightly. I felt a slight tear slide down her cheek and she pulled away. Stacy gently wiped her own eyes and grabbed a tissue to touch up my makeup.
“Is everything ready to go?” I asked, going through my makeup bag one last time. I put on another touchup coat of lipstick and rubbed my lips together.
“Yup, the horses should be pulling up any minute, your highness,” Stacy said, gathering our belongings in her arms. “All the other bridesmaids are waiting outside, including your dad. Are you ready for this?”
She held out her free arm to me. With a smile, I locked elbows with Stacy like we did when we were kids and we walked out of the room together, arm in arm.
Outside the B&B, I was joined by my other bridesmaids, all dressed in various designs of the purple dress Stacy is wearing. Ariel was standing in the center of the small group, walking back and forth between each of the women as if this were her big day— and, in a way, it was—
while giggling openly.
When everyone spotted me, they immediately rushed over and began gushing over how beautiful I looked in my wedding dress. Stacy grabbed Ariel’s hand and brought her over to me. I scooped her up in my arms and showered her with kisses.
My father, Gregory, came up to me and gave me a warm smile, reveling at his beautiful daughter and the large step I was about to take.
“You look beautiful, Willow,” my father said, giving me a hug. I pulled away after a moment and carefully dabbed my eyes with my finger, making sure not to mess up the makeup that had taken so much time to apply.
“Thank you, Dad,” I said, smiling at him.
“Your mother told me she talked to you and I also just wanted to say that I’m sorry for causing you any doubt about marrying Darien. We were just concerned for your well being but we should have known that you can take care of yourself.”
“I can, Dad,” I said, taking his hands. “But Darien will take care of me too. And he’ll take good care of your granddaughter.”
“I know that,” my father said, patting me on the shoulder. “And I couldn’t be more pleased that you found someone who makes you truly happy. That’s all I want for you.”
“I know. It’s because of you and mom that I found someone like him. You two taught me to never settle and that I deserved to be with someone who respected and valued me as a person. And Darien is that man.”
I gave my father one more hug for good measure. I pulled away when I heard the sound of trotting hooves coming my way.
Five white horse drawn carriages pulled up in front of the small B&B. The Groomsmen were already seated. They each climbed out of the carriages and helped their perspective partners into the carriages beside them. Stacy came over with Ariel and helped my father and I into the last carriage.
“This is a literal fairytale, girl,” Stacy said with a laugh and headed toward her carriage where one of Darien’s groomsmen awaited, helping her inside.
I sat beside my father with Ariel on my lap as the horses began the 2.4km journey toward the Cliffs of Moher. Ariel played with my necklace, eager to pull it towards her and place in her mouth. I distract her by pointing towards the white horse in front of them.
She waved her hands in the air, giggling in excitement.
“We’re getting married today!” she exclaimed.
My father pat her on the back, a large smile on his face.
The carriage passed through the rolling green hills, the perfect blue sky hovering right above us. After several minutes, the Cliffs of Moher started to come into view, the Atlantic Ocean spreading out before us for miles.
Ahead of the carriages were several chairs for mine and Darien’s guests, with a flower archway centered towards the top of the aisle. I caught glimpses of my friends and family as I stretched my neck, trying to spot Darien. When I did, my heart skipped a rapid beat.
My father got out of the carriage and took his granddaughter in his arms. Stacy appeared and helped me down from the carriage, making sure my dress didn’t get snagged. Stacy then lead Ariel toward the front of the aisle, kneeling down in front of her and handing her a small bouquet of flowers.
I watched them together and couldn’t help but smile at their easy friendship. The thought that my daughter could love my best friend just as much as I did made my heart swell.
The music began to play and I took that as my cue. I watched as each pair in the wedding party made their way carefully down the aisle, Ariel leading the way, walking very seriously down the aisle with her tiny bouquet.
“You ready for this, honey?” my father asked, taking my hand in his.
“I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life,” I said, holding my head high and confident. “I’ve waited so long for this moment and I can’t wait for us to start our new lives together.”
I squeezed my father’s hand as I began to make my way down the aisle and toward the cliff’s edge where Darien stood waiting in a glorious dark grey suit, poised gracefully. I locked eyes with Darien and his smile widened instantaneously. He took me in, in pure wonder and astonishment.
I pulled my eyes away from Darien and looked to my father, who lifted my veil and gave me a sweet kiss on the cheek before letting me go. I knew he was doing so in more ways than one.
“Take care of my girl,” my father said, leaning toward Darien. Darien smiled at his soon-to-be father-in-law.
“Yes, sir,” Darien said, taking my hands in his.
The two of us stood before each other, our eyes shining in excitement and anticipation. We had chosen a friend of ours, Lindsey, to officiate the ceremony. She was a friend of Stacy’s with whom I had become friends as well.
Not being particularly religious, we thought it would be funny if a stripper officiated our wedding. It turned out the requirements to become an officiant to make a wedding legal in our state—when we got back home we would file the marriage certificate that Lindsey signed today—were quite easy. Therefore, we’d carried out the plan and Lindsey had become an officiant who was marrying us today.
Now, Darien and I turned towards her and prepared ourselves for the journey ahead.
“Welcome family and friends, for you are about to witness the joining of Darien and Willow. These two people have chosen to share their lives together and have chosen all of you to share that with them. And now Darien and Willow will share their vows to each other.”
“Willow,” Darien placed a hand gently on my cheek and I closed my eyes against his touch. “For a time, it seemed like this day would never come. And I would never get to stand here with you at the edge of the world. But here we are. We made it. And I know for a fact that I cannot imagine a world without you in it. I would do anything in the world for you, go anywhere in the world for you. I think I’ve proven that by coming here to Ireland with you, the spot you chose for us to get married in.”
Our guests laughed, and so did I. My sweet, handsome, funny husband. I was so happy to be marrying him.
“And I don’t know what I did to deserve someone like you,” he continued, bringing my mood back to somber and serious on the surface, but still happy bubbles nearly burst up from underneath. “But I will spend every day of the rest of my life trying to prove that to you. I promise to be your advocate and your champion and above all, I promise to be your family. I love you.”
I wiped a tear from my eye at Darien’s words, trying to work myself up to saying everything I wanted to say to him in return. I squeezed his hand for support.
“Darien,” I took a deep breath before continuing. “You came into my life at a time when I was desperately seeking something. Something that I didn’t know I needed. Something that I felt empty without. And you filled the emptiness. You shined a light on me that was so bright it blinded everything else out. There is no one that I’d rather stand at the edge of the world with than you. I love you.”
“There’s only one thing left to do,” Lindsey said, with a smile on his face. “Darien, you may kiss your bride.”
Darien grabbed ahold of my waist and pulled me toward him. He bent me gracefully backward and, with the cheers of our family and friends in the background, he kissed me passionately on the lips.
Darien pulled me back toward him and held me close to him, not wanting to take his eyes off me. I gazed back at him, feeling happier than I’d ever been.
We walked back down the aisle to the cheers and tears of our family and friends, holding each other tightly.
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Later, back at the B&B, Darien and I sat at the head table surrounded by our wedding party and looking out at all the tables in front of us filled with the people we love. After several touching and slightly drunken speeches and a delicious five-course dinner, Darien and I began to make our rounds.
After several minutes of handshaking and hugs and congratulations, I spotted my brother Sam, one of Darien’s Groomsmen, sitting by himself at the head table. I walked over to him and sat down beside him. Sam was fiddling around with his cane, his brow furrowed deeply.
“How you doing?” I asked, a concerned look on my face. I placed a hand over top of his, stopping his movements. Sam turned toward me after a moment. “I’m really glad you’re here. Darien and I wanted to make sure that you were well enough to be here. It wouldn’t have been the same without you.”
“I appreciate that but I’m afraid I probably won’t be much fun,” Sam said with a sigh.
He went back to twirling the cane that helps him walk. His feelings of resentment toward the instrument were all too clear on his face.
“I know many people have said this before but it’s a miracle that you’re even here right now,” I said, leaning toward my brother. “We could have been gathered together for a very different reason. And I’m so thankful that it’s for something happy. You have no idea how much this family needs you, Sam. How much I need you.”
Sam didn’t respond and instead looked down at his hands. He turned away from me, not wanting to bear another burden heavier than the one he was currently carrying.
“You’re at my wedding for crying out loud. Can’t you at least pretend to be happy for me?” I asked, searching my brother’s eyes for a glimpse of the man I used to know.
“I am happy for you. I’m really happy you, little sister,” Sam said, forcing a smile. “It may not seem like it but I am. I’m just…” He stopped and hanged his head, thinking. “I’m in a place that I can’t shake. I don’t know how to move on when the thing that comes easiest to us has now become so hard. I can’t even walk without help. How am I supposed to do anything else?”
“You’ll get there,” I said and put a hand on his shoulder. He placed his hand over top of mine and squeezed it gently. “I know you will. It just takes time.”
“How much time? I can’t stand living like this.” Sam turned away from me again, not wanting me to see his desperation.
“You have no idea how lucky you are, Sam. You…”
“I know, I know,” Sam said, irritation apparent in his voice. “Plenty of people have it much worse than I do. I know. But my mind doesn’t see it like that when my body feels broken down. I no longer
feel like seeing my friends or even doing the things I used to love. All I feel is nothing.”
Sam attempted to get up from his seat in frustration but his legs betray him and he fell back down into his seat with a heavy and resentful sigh.
I helped him back into his seat, Sam carefully tried not to throw off my touch, even though he desperately wanted to shower me with his anger.
“It’s perfectly natural to feel depressed after an accident like that,” I said, while I took my brother’s hand in mine. “You were in a coma for God’s sake. You literally woke up and the world was different. I know you don’t even remember a lot of things. You lost parts of your memory along with parts of your physical mobility. It’s not something that’s easy to adjust to or to accept. But you have to. It’s the only thing you can do.”
“How?” Sam asked, his voice pleading. “How do I do that?”
“You get back out there and you act like nothing has changed. You see your friends. You have fun. You spend time with your family. Meet someone wonderful…”
“Do not try and set me up with another one of your friends,” Sam said, managing a genuine laugh. I couldn’t help but laugh in response.
“Okay, so maybe pushing you to date wasn’t the best idea. I just thought that it would help somewhat. They all really liked you.” I smiled at him, lying right through my teeth, of course.
“No, they didn’t!” Sam said, incredulous, unable to believe a single thing that I say. “They all thought I was depressed and moody and they’d be right because that’s exactly what I am. And besides, I don’t need anyone feeling sorry for me.”
“No one feels sorry for you, Sam,” I said, adjusting my dress.
“Yes, they do,” Sam said, turning toward me. “Why do you think you’re the first person here to come over and talk to me? Huh? No one willingly wants to talk to the depressed guy who used to be in a coma.”