R.P. Gannon - Barney, Willey and Oscar 01 - Geezer Paradise

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R.P. Gannon - Barney, Willey and Oscar 01 - Geezer Paradise Page 17

by R. P. Gannon


  “And don’t worry,” Snydely said. “I’m not going to give your location to Flaherty.” Then he jumped down and disappeared around the side of the house.

  I looked at Willey. “We have to get in touch with Eduardo and tell him about this. Let him decide the best way to rescue Jasper.” Willey and I sat quietly, trying to digest this turn of events.

  The kitchen door opened and Snydely stepped out onto the deck. He was holding his hands up in the air as if someone was pointing a gun at him. Sofie came out behind him—holding a pistol with a silencer attached. Where the hell did she get a silencer?

  She had the gun pointed at the back of Snydely’s head. Snydely looked terrified.

  “Is this one of the men who have been chasing you?” Sofie asked.

  “Yes,” I said. “But he came here today to make a deal. He wants to testify against the people he’s been working for in return for immunity. I’m sorry we got you involved in this, Sofie.”

  Sofie smiled at me. “I’m glad you’re worried about me, Barney, but I can handle people like this. What do you want me to do with him?”

  “Well, I don’t think there are any warrants out for his arrest,” I said. “So I suppose we have to let him go.”

  Sofie motioned toward the door with the gun. “Go,” she said to Snydely. “And don’t come back.” Snydely scurried through the doorway. We could hear him running through the house—he seemed to be in a hurry to leave.

  Sofie sat down and put her pistol on the patio table. “Do either of you own a gun?” she asked.

  “I have a pistol back in the room,” I said.

  “Do you know how to use it?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good,” Sofie said. “I never know when I might need a backup.” She stood up and rubbed the wrinkles out of her apron. She picked up her gun and said, “I’m just taking an apple pie out of the oven. Would you boys like a piece?”

  “Yes,” we both said. And then we had enough manners to say, “Thank you.”

  “We’ll be in right after I make a phone call,” Willey said.

  Sofie stopped at the kitchen door. “You don’t have to worry,” she said. “You’ll be safe here. That man won’t come back.” I believed her. Willey and I went out to my Wrangler, to remove the transmitter. It was right where Snydely said it would be. It was surprisingly small. I dropped it on the ground and crushed it with the heel of my shoe.

  Willey called his sister, Edna—she was hysterical. Willey promised her we would rescue Jasper. Then he called Eduardo and told him about Snydely’s offer to testify against Flaherty and Buckland, but he didn’t mention Jasper. Eduardo was happy with the news. We gave him Snydely’s telephone number. Eduardo told us he would be back in about a week. They were close to wrapping up the terrorist plot.

  After Willey disconnected he said, “I knew Eduardo couldn’t help us rescue Jasper right away. And we can’t wait that long to get Jasper back. Edna will have a stroke. We’ll have to do it ourselves.”

  “Do you think just the two of us will be able to pull it off?” I asked.

  “Maybe we should ask Sofie to help us,” Willey said. “I’d feel a lot safer with her on our side.” We went inside and told Sofie what was going on, and what we needed to do. Then we asked her if she would help us.

  “Of course I’ll help you,” Sofie said without hesitation. “Now sit down and have some pie.” Yes, we needed Sofie

  Chapter Sixteen

  IT WAS A warehouse on the outskirts of Palm Harbor. There was only a sliver of orange moon above, and the darkness was comforting. The warehouse looked deserted. Surrounded by trees, it was almost invisible from the street. We had no idea how to rescue Jasper. Our only hope was we outnumbered them, or at least we hoped we did. We weren’t sure how many of them were in there. One for sure, two possibly, but two at the most. How many people does it take to watch over someone who was most likely chained to a water pipe?

  I had my .38 revolver semi-automatic. Willey had a 9mm Sofie had lent him. Sofie had her pistol—minus the silencer. We were drawn to the only window that showed light. I got close and looked in. The window was grimy and covered with cobwebs, but I could see Jasper sitting on a chair, his right hand handcuffed to a pipe that ran horizontally along the wall. He looked glum. Across the room from him sat one of the goons that showed up at the swamp with Snydely. It was after midnight and the ogre seemed to be nodding off.

  There was a second floor but we couldn’t see any outside stairs. We worked our way around to the rear of the building and found a flight of half rotted stairs leading up to a small landing and a door on the second floor. We were carrying a pry bar and bolt cutters. Each of us carried a flashlight. If we needed more tools we’d just have to improvise. I started up the stairs with the pry bar. Willey was behind me shining his flashlight on the stairs so I could avoid the rotted parts. Sofie held Oscar’s hand, her gun in the other hand. We moved silently up the stairs to the landing.

  There was a hasp and a padlock on the door. I put the pry bar next to the hasp and pushed it into the soft wood. I gently pushed on the bar and the screws came out of the rotted wood. The door knob turned but it was locked. I worked the pry bar between the door and the jamb and pushed with all my strength. The wooden jamb compressed enough to expose the bolt. The door swung open. Once inside we turned on our flashlights and looked the place over. It was filled with steel drums. I gave one a push. It was heavy, they were filled with something. I read the label—it was turpentine. There was a handrail at the front of the building. That would be the stairs leading down to the first floor. As quietly as we could we walked to the front of the building and made our way down the stairs.

  I stood at the bottom of the stairs and tried the door knob. It wasn’t locked. I opened the door slowly and looked out. It was just Jasper and the goon. So far luck had been with us. I closed the door and turned to Willey.

  “What do you think?” I whispered.

  “Maybe we should create a diversion,” Willey said. “You know, something to distract him until we get inside.”

  “Like what?”

  “We could have Sofie throw something through the window. Maybe he’d go outside to investigate.

  “But then he’ll shoot Sofie and Oscar.” I said.

  “Well, we can’t just walk in there.”

  “He seems to be falling asleep,” I said. “Let’s wait until he falls asleep and we might be able to sneak up on him. Maybe we can surprise him before he has a chance to get his gun up.” We all sat on the stairs and waited, and then waited some more. Finally the thug’s head went down, his gun on the table. I told Sofie to wait there with Oscar. I was afraid Oscar might start chattering when he saw Jasper. I handed the tools to Sofie and we took out our guns. Then I opened the door and Willey and I stepped out of the stairwell. We hadn’t taken three steps when Jasper saw us and broke out into a big smile. The goon swung around and leveled his gun at us. He hadn’t been asleep after all. We didn’t even have a chance to point our guns at him.

  “Drop the guns,” he roared. We had no choice, we dropped them. He motioned toward Jasper with his gun. “Get over there with your friend,” he said. We went over and stood next to Jasper.

  Willey whacked Jasper on the back of his head. “That’s for being stupid,” Willey said. Jasper rubbed his head with his free hand. The goon picked up our guns and stuck them into his waistband. Then he went over to the door we came out of, constantly turning and pointing his gun at us. My heart was in my throat as he pulled the door open. Sofie and Oscar were gone. He flicked a switch on the wall next to the open door and the hallway lit up. Then he stuck his head inside the doorway and yelled, “Come out with your hands up or I’ll shoot your friends.” No response. He clearly he wanted to check out the second floor but he couldn’t leave us alone. He walked back to us and asked, “Who’s up there?”

  “Nobody,” I said. “It’s just the two of us.” The goon looked around, looking for something. I knew he was looking
for something to tie us up with. He couldn’t find anything. Then he sat at the table, stood up again, took our guns out of his waistband and put them on the table. They must have been sticking into his beer belly. He stared at us from under his simian brow. He wanted to kill us but he had to get permission first. He sat again and opened his cell phone.

  “Damn,” he said when someone answered. “Guess what I’ve got for company? Two old geezers with guns. Yeah, that’s right. Broke in through the second floor and tried to sneak up on me. I don’t have anything to tie them up with … Yeah, okay,” he said, a little calmer now. “I’ll keep them covered until you get here.” Then he started shouting, “What do you mean fifteen or twenty minutes?” He stood and paced around, all the time keeping his gun trained on us.

  “Yeah, yeah,” he said into the phone. “Just get here as soon as you can. I got a bad feeling about this.” He closed his cell phone and sat down to watch us.

  “You two sit on the floor,” he said. “And no talking.”

  Willey and I sat on the floor and didn’t talk. We hadn’t been on the floor for more than a minute when we heard the thunk of a steel drum hitting the floor above, and then we heard the turpentine splashing down the stairs. It came through the open door in a torrent, and spread halfway to us before it stopped. The entire first floor filled with the highly combustible fumes.

  The goon jumped to his feet. “You told me you were alone he screamed.” I guess he didn’t expect us to lie.

  “We lied,” I said. “Oscar’s up there.”

  “You no good bastards …” He moved toward us with murder in his eyes, but stopped suddenly when he heard a second drum go thunk on the upstairs floor.

  “Way to go, Oscar,” Willey yelled. We all watched as we heard the turpentine come splashing down the stairs, out through the door, and onto the floor. We stood up this time because the flood came all the way to us and swirled around our shoes. The fumes were making me dizzy.

  “Tell Oscar to come down here or I’ll shoot all of you,” the goon yelled.

  “You can’t tell Oscar to do anything,” Willey said. “He isn’t human.”

  “Whadda you mean he ain’t human?”

  “He’s an ape,” Willey said.

  “Yeah,” Jasper added. “And he’s big and mean. He’ll tear you to pieces.”

  “You think I’m stupid?” the goon yelled. “You tell him to come down here now or you’re dead.”

  “Willey yelled, “Come down here, Oscar.” The response was a loud thunk from upstairs, followed by another river of turpentine. Then we heard, “Ew, ew, ew, ew, ee, ee, ee, ee.”

  The goon waved his pistol. “I ain’t afraid of some ape. Not as long as I’ve got this.” He waved his gun.

  “That pea shooter won’t bother Oscar,” I said. “You know how thick the leather is on an ape’s chest? It’s over an inch thick. A howitzer couldn’t penetrate that. I just made up the one inch part, but the goon believed it.”

  Thunk, another drum down—another river of turpentine. The fumes were so heavy that the tiniest little spark would blow the whole place into the stratosphere.

  “With all these fumes, I’m pretty sure if you shoot your gun we’ll all be incinerated,” I said. The goon turned pale. He ran for the window, threw it open, and climbed out. A few seconds later we heard a car start and drive away.

  “Sofie,” I yelled. “He’s gone. “Come around to the window.” A minute later Sofie and Oscar appeared at the window.

  “Let me have the bolt cutters,” I said. Sofie handed me the bolt cutters through the open window. I hurried over and cut Jasper free from the pipe. Then Willey and I grabbed our guns from the table and we all scrambled out through the window.

  “Hi, Oscar,” I said as we met outside. “Did you help Sofie turn those drums over?”

  “He sure did,” Sofie said, as we ran towards the Wrangler. “I couldn’t have done it without his strong hands.”

  “Let’s get out of here,” I said. “That guy called for back-up a few minutes ago. I don’t want to be here when they show up.” We all piled into the Wrangler. Jasper sat in front holding Oscar in his lap. Willey and Sofie were in the back. At the first turn in the road a black SUV with four tough looking guys in it sped past us. “They made good time,” I said.

  Willey said, “Shit.”

  “What?”

  “One of those guys was smoking a cigar.” I jammed on the brakes and we all piled out onto the quiet country road, and stood looking back. It didn’t take long, about a minute—then all hell broke loose. The explosion was stunning—a gigantic fireball rose into the night sky, lighting up the landscape for miles around. The percussion from the blast pushed us backward a few steps. It was followed by an even larger explosion and fireball as more drums exploded. Flaming pieces of the building were falling from the sky.

  Oscar was hiding behind me. I wondered if Stevens was among the newly deceased. I wasn’t hoping … honest. I was just wondering.

  Jasper said, “Damn, I bet that hurt.” Sofie made the sign of the cross and whispered a short prayer. We all got back into the Wrangler and headed for Sofie’s house. We smelled of turpentine so bad we had to open the Wrangler’s windows. I felt bad that the thugs had been killed, but it wasn’t our fault … was it?

  Sofie leaned toward me from the back seat and tapped me on the shoulder.

  “I don’t think we should mention any of this to Eduardo,” she said. Willey and I agreed.

  Willey took out his cell phone. “I’m going to tell Edna we have Jasper.” It took a while to calm Edna down and let her talk to jasper. Then Willey took the phone back and said, “Listen Edna, I don’t think we should send Jasper back home, it would be too dangerous. Besides, his ex-wife has a detective chasing him around with a summons. Why don’t we send him to live with Clyde in Orlando? He’d be safe there.”

  “Good, I like uncle Clyde,” Jasper said.

  “Okay,” Willey said. “Give Clyde a call and we’ll put jasper on a bus.” Willey said his goodbyes and closed the phone.

  “We’re sending Jasper to live with her brother Clyde until this blows over,” Willey said. “Let’s head for the nearest bus terminal.” Sofie gave us directions. After we got Jasper safely on the bus and waved him goodbye, we headed back to Sofie’s. It had been a busy night.

  After Jasper’s rescue we had a quiet day just sitting around watching the boats on the river. Willey and I had sent flowers to Mary. She was feeling much better and was clamoring to go home. On the second day of sitting around we were bored out of our skulls.

  Willey asked, “Barney, have you ever been in a kayak?”

  “No, I can’t swim. Don’t those things tip over easy, and then you have to use your paddle to get them upright again?”

  “You’re thinking of Eskimo kayaks. The stuff they have today are one piece, made of plastic—and they’re wide and low in the water. They’re wide open and it’s harder to tip them over. Besides, you wear a life jacket. They’re really safe.

  “Why, Willey?” I asked. “Do you want to go out in a kayak?”

  “Yeah, it’s lots of fun and it beats sitting here letting moss grow on us. What do you think?” He had a point. We were just vegetating, sitting there day after day. Maybe it would be fun, and I could afford it. And just maybe I could write an article about it for the Sun. “Will there be any alligators?” I asked.

  “They’re won’t be any alligators,” Willey assured me.

  “Okay, let’s do it.” We went into the house and I put my gun into my pocket, just in case. We asked Sofie if she wanted to come along, but she said, “Sounds like fun, but I’m too busy. You guys go ahead.”

  “What about Oscar?” I asked.

  “Oscar can come with us,” Willey said. “These kayaks are big enough, Oscar can sit in with me. He’ll love it.”

  “Be sure to put a life jacket on Oscar,” Sofie said. “And you two put your life jackets on, too.” We grabbed Oscar and we were off. We drove dow
n 19A to a bank with an ATM machine to take out some cash. It was far enough from Tarpon Springs to be safe, even if someone was able to follow our transactions.

  Neither of us thought it was a good idea to write a check with our name on it—not with Flaherty looking for us. As we were leaving the bank’s parking lot I thought I caught a glimpse of a red car behind us. I looked in the rear view mirror—nothing. Stevens has a red Cadillac, but I was probably just being paranoid. How could Stevens know we would be at this bank at this time? I let it go. It was probably just nerves. We drove down to 580 East and headed for the top of Tampa Bay.

  Sam’s Kayak And Canoe Rentals was kind of campy. Just the kind of place where you would be able to reach into the overgrown backwater creeks that crisscross Southern Florida. We pulled into the crushed shell parking lot and parked next to a beat-up red pick-up truck. It was the only vehicle there. It must have belonged to the owner of the place. At least we wouldn’t have to wait in line to rent a kayak.

  The office was an old garage just big enough to hold a Model-T Ford. It had probably been built just about the time when Model-T’s ruled the roads. On a small porch built onto the creek side of the garage, sat an old Cracker in a rocking chair, smoking a corn cob pipe. The creek appeared out of the bush on the right, and quickly disappeared into the bush on the left. It was Old Florida just as it would have been a hundred years ago. It was perfect.

  When the old man saw us his face broke into a big smile. “Howdy, folks. Want to go kayaking?”

  “Sure do,” Willey said. He pointed at Oscar. “Can we take the little feller along with us?”

  “Sure, just put a kid’s life jacket on him. First time I ever had a monkey go kayaking. The life jackets are right there beside the creek.” He pointed at a rack filled with Orange jackets. The kayaks are right there, too.” We figured he wasn’t going to wait on us so I went up on the porch to pay him.

  When I came back I said, “I rented it for two hours so we can take our time. We put on our life jackets. I helped Willey put one on Oscar. Willey and I grabbed a green two-seater kayak and eased it into the water. This wasn’t anything like what the Eskimos use, no tiny openings to get trapped in if the thing tips over. The inside had a flat, wide, bottom and plenty of room.

 

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