by R. P. Gannon
“You’re welcome,” I said. “And please call me Barney.”
“And please call me Evelyn, Barney. Oh, and by the way, I live in Port Richie. I’m just here visiting friends. Is that too far for you to travel?”
“Not at all,” I said. “In fact I’ve been planning on going to Weeki Wachee Springs to do research for an article I’m going to write for the Tampa Sun. I have to go past Port Richie on the way.”
“Oh, so you’re a reporter.”
“Retired,” I said. “I just like to keep my hand in.” I didn’t mention that I needed the money.
“Let me give you my number, Barney.” She took a pen out of her purse and started to fish around in there for a piece of paper. I went up to the reception counter and took a couple of the vet’s business cards to write on.
I handed Evelyn one. “Thank you.” She said. She wrote her telephone number on the back of the card and handed it back to me. I borrowed her pen and wrote our cell phone number on the back of the other card and handed it to her.
Just then the receptionist came over and said, “The doctor will see Lulu now, Ms Hampstead.”
Evelyn got up and took Lulu by the hand. “Thank you so much, Barney. I really appreciate it.”
“You’re very welcome,” I said.
“Come along, Oscar,” she said. Oscar was already following Lulu. I watched as Evelyn, Lulu, and Oscar, filed into the examining room.
“Goodbye, Oscar,” I said. Oscar didn’t even know I was there. I walked out of the office and wondered how I was going to explain to Willey that I’d given Oscar away. Well, for a week or two. Never mind Willey, Sofie will wring my neck. I’d have to make sure Sofie isn’t carrying her gun before I tell her. I got into the Wrangler and started it up. I’d think of something.
When I got back to Sofie’s house I told Willey and Sofie what happened. Willey thought it was hilarious, but Sofie was worried. “I just hope Lulu treats him well,” she said.
I said, “Don’t worry, Sofie. By the way they were looking at each other, I’m sure she’ll treat him just fine. I just hope Oscar behaves himself.”
I hadn’t been back at Sofie’s more than a few hours before Willie’s phone rang.
Willey answered it. “It’s for you, Barney. It’s Oscar’s mother-in-law. It sounds like Oscar has been a bad boy.” I took the cell phone. I noticed the number on the screen was a Port Richie number. They were already home.
“Hello, Evelyn. Is everything alright?”
“Oh, Barney,” Evelyn said. She sounded distressed. “I let Lulu and Oscar out in my back yard while I went to get some cold drinks, and when I got back they were up in the treetops swing from limb to limb. What am I going to do?”
“You don’t have to do anything, Evelyn. They’re monkeys, they’re more at home in the trees than they are on the ground. They’ll be fine. They’ll come down when they tire of it.”
“But Lulu has never been up in a tree before. She’ll fall and be killed.” Evelyn was starting to panic.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “Oscar had never been up in a tree until a week or so ago, but it comes naturally to them. They were created to live in trees. It’s in their genes. Now go and get a glass of iced tea and watch how graceful they are in the tree tops. They’re safer in the trees than they are on the ground.”
“I hope you’re right, Barney.”
“I know I’m right. And the exercise will do them good.”
“I know I sound like an overprotective mother,” she said. “But I worry about her.”
“I know you do, but you have to let them try out their wings, so to speak.”
“Alright, Barney. I’ll try to relax and wait for them to come down, but I’m too old for this. Thanks for listening to me rant.”
“You’re very welcome, Evelyn. Goodbye.”
“Goodbye, Barney,” she said and hung up.
Willey was guffawing. “It’s tough being an older parent, huh, Barney?”
“He’s your kid, not mine,” I said.
“But he looks like you,” Willey shot back. Sofie got a chuckle out of that.
I spent the next few days on my computer researching Weeki Wachee Springs. It was quiet around the house without Oscar. Even Snydely asked when Oscar was coming back. But Sofie missed him most of all. After much hard work I was fully versed on Weeki Wachee and its history. Now it was time to go there and see it for myself. The only problem was that Evelyn hadn’t called to have me pick up Oscar while I was up that way. I didn’t want to make a second trip. So I sat and waited. Finally Evelyn called. All had gone well between Oscar and Lulu. I could pick Oscar up anytime. I told her I would be there that afternoon and I wrote down the directions to her house.
That was all I needed. I grabbed my camera and a notebook, and told Sofie, Willey, and Snydely, I was going to Weeki Wachee to do some research.
“Willey, do you want to come along?” I asked.
“Sure, I’ll go. I’ve never been there.”
Sofie asked if Oscar was alright. I told her Oscar was fine. I asked Snydely if he was okay being left in Sofie’s hands.
“I’ll feel perfectly safe here with Sofie,” he said. “I’ll be fine.”
Willey and I got into the Wrangler and headed north on 19. Within an hour we arrived at Weeki Wachee. We parked in the parking lot, and were picked up by a transporter with five open cars behind it. We bumped our way to the main entrance. After buying tickets we were free to wander around the park. The Spring itself was fairly close to the road and the Weeki Wachee River ran out of the spring. We were told by a Park Ranger that the river wound through the jungle and emptied into the Gulf of Mexico twelve miles to the west.
The Weeki Wachee River Boat, with a bright red canvas awning, chugged down the river as we walked by. It was loaded with tourists. We could hear the Pilot telling them the history of the spring. The spring was about a hundred feet across. A park guide said, it had limestone walls and nobody yet has been able to find the bottom of it.
He told us: “All of Florida was under the ocean for millions of years after the earth’s temperature rose and the ice caps melted, raising the sea level. While it was under the sea it acquired a thick mantle of limestone, created by tiny sea creatures that formed a sort of flat reef over the seabed. Then when the earth’s temperature cooled, the ice caps returned, the sea level dropped, and the Florida peninsula rose up out of the sea. Over time, the water runoff from the mountains of Georgia , and the heavy Florida rains seeped into the porous Florida limestone base, and ran from north to south creating underground rivers. In some places the water rose to the surface and created springs. The Weeki Wachee Spring pumps up 170 million gallons of crystal clear, seventy-two degree water each day into the Weeki Wachee River.”
Across the spring the roof of the viewing building stood just above the surface of the water. Inside was a viewing area cut into the spring’s limestone walls sixteen feet below the surface. There, through the glass wall, visitors can watch the mermaids; pretty young girls wearing fish-like tails perform an underwater ballet. Willey and I walked down by the river and were looking around at the scenery, when a young blond girl with a ponytail popped her head up out of the water.
It startled us. She was wearing a wetsuit and a diving mask. She didn’t have a snorkel. She had a clipboard in her hand and wrote notes on it with a grease marker. Then she disappeared beneath the surface again. My guess was she was a college student doing a project for class about the river’s environment.
I was worried about her because it seemed alligators swam in the river, too. Although, the Weeki Wachee website said that in the old days an alligator sometimes swam in the spring with the mermaids while they did their act. We watched the girl surface and dive for a while, and then we moved on to see the wildlife.
They kept the alligators down on the river bank. You could view them safely from a raised sidewalk with a Cyclone Fence between you and the big lizards. I didn’t see any barrier to keep them o
ut of the river. They looked like they were made of black rubber. They just lay there soaking up the sun and warming up their cold blood.
Next to them was a rhinoceros. We stood above, looking over the fence at him. He was lying on his side on a concrete slab down at the water’s edge. He was trying to sleep, but a group of eight vultures had other ideas. They thought he was dead, and they wanted to eat him. They surrounded the rhino, and then one vulture ventured forward toward the rhino’s large hind end and tried to take a bite out of it. Without opening an eye the rhino shot out a hind leg and knocked the vulture ass-end-over-tea-kettle. The vultures commiserated for a while, and watched some more. After a while they decided the rhino was surely dead. Another vulture went forward and tried to take a bite out of the rhino’s large hindquarters. Again the rhino shot his leg out and sent that vulture sprawling. We watched this little drama through five attempts and five leg kicks.
Finally we decided that vultures were the dumbest birds on the face of the earth, and moved on. We went over to Buccaneer Bay and watched the people cavorting in the water. They had an overhead water slide system that ran water down the slides. The people would climb up and ride the twisting slide down to the water below, where then were dumped into the shallow end.
As we walked back to the entrance we heard a park guide telling a group of people that in the winter months, large numbers of manatees and otters swim upriver from the Gulf to swim in the spring’s warm, seventy-two degree water. As we walked the grounds I saw that the river and the surrounding area were strikingly beautiful. It was what Old Florida looked like a hundred years ago. I snapped pictures of everything I thought was interesting and made notes as we roamed around.
“I think I have enough to write the article,” I said to Willey. “Want to go get Oscar and head back?”
“Sounds good to me,” Willey said. We headed back to the entrance, and got back on the road again.
I followed the instructions Evelyn gave me and found the house without any trouble. It was a good sized house with a large, wooded lot. Willey said he’d wait in the Wrangler. Evelyn answered the door and let me in.
“I hope Oscar behaved himself,” I said, as we walked to the rear of the house where Oscar and Lulu were sitting on the sofa watching television. They made a cute couple. I noticed Oscars shorts had been washed and ironed.
“Oscar was a perfect gentleman,” Evelyn said.
When Oscar saw me he smiled. “Hi, Oscar. It’s time to go home.” I reached out and took his hand. He walked with me to the front door as Evelyn thanked me again. Lulu followed us. Evelyn opened the front door, and when Oscar saw the Wrangler he recoiled. He didn’t want to go home. I stepped outside and Oscars hand pulled me back. His other hand held firmly to the door jamb. I gave his hand a little tug. “Come on, Oscar,” I said. “We’re going home.” Oscar held onto the doorjamb for dear life. I bent down and tried to pick him up, but as soon as I let go of his hand he grabbed onto the doorjamb with both hands, and started to screech, “Eeeee, ee, ee.” Then Lulu started up behind Evelyn, Eeee, eee, eee.”
Evelyn smiled, “It looks like Oscar wants to stay. Would you mind if he stayed a few more days? He and Lulu are quite fond of each other.”
“Are you sure you don’t mind?”
“Not at all. Oscar is always welcome here.”
“Then let me pay you for his food,” I said, and reached for my wallet.
“I won’t hear of it,” Evelyn said. “Oscar is Lulu’s guest. I’m just sorry to have brought you up here for no reason.”
“Actually,” I said. “I was doing research at Weeki Wachee Springs for that newspaper article I told you about. So it wasn’t out of my way at all.” I let go of Oscar’s hand and he ran to the back of the house, with Lulu trailing right behind him.
Evelyn said, “I’ll call you in a couple of days just to let you know how things are going.”
“Alright, I’ll wait to hear from you.” I waved goodbye and headed for the Wrangler.
“Where’s Oscar?” Willey asked.
“He’s going to stay for a few more days. He didn’t want to leave.”
Willey smiled. “That little devil,” he said. “But Sofie’s going to miss him.”
“I’m sure she’ll understand,” I said. We got back on the road and headed toward Sofie’s house.
The next day I got a call from Evelyn. I had to pick Oscar up as soon as possible.
“What happened?” I asked.
“I think the honeymoon is over,” Evelyn said. “I woke up this morning to the sound of screeching, and things bouncing off the walls. Lulu was throwing things at Oscar, and Oscar was hiding under the bed.”
“That doesn’t sound good,” I said. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
Sofie was worried about Oscar. She rushed me out the door to get him.
“That hussy,” she said. I assumed she was talking about Lulu and not Evelyn.
“I’ll go with you,” Willey said. We got into the Wrangler and drove north on 19 to Port Richie, on a mission to save Oscar from married life.
Evelyn opened the door. She looked a wreck. Her hair was standing up in spikes and her blouse was hanging out of her slacks on one side.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” she said. “I’ll get Oscar.”
When she returned with Oscar we saw he had a bandage wrapped around his head, a small splash of red was showing over his left eye. Lulu must have a good pitching arm. I apologized to Evelyn and she apologized to me.
“Kids,” she said. “Go figure.” We both shook our heads.
Evelyn smoothed her hair down with her hands. She said, “Barney, you’ll have to come by for coffee once you get your piece about Weeki Wachee finished. I’d love to read it.”
“I will,” I said, and then we said goodbye. Was I imagining things, or was Evelyn coming on to me? Of course, in South Florida any man that is still breathing is up for grabs, so I didn’t let it go to my head.
We settled Oscar into the back seat. He wasn’t himself. He was subdued, looking glum, and staring straight ahead.
“Well Oscar,” Willey said. “You can’t live with them, and you can’t live without them.” Oscar didn’t appreciate Willey’s humor.
When we got Oscar back to Sofie, she hovered over him like a mother hen, patting his head and telling him what a good boy he was. She made him some lunch, but he only picked at it. Then she tucked him into bed and let him take a nap. He looked like he needed it.
The next afternoon Willey and I got tired of watching the boats on the river and decided to go down to the main drag, Dodecanese Boulevard, and watch the tourists. We asked Sofie if we could leave Oscar with her. She didn’t mind at all. We didn’t want to call attention to ourselves, and Oscar was a people magnate. We asked Snydely if he wanted to come with us, but he thought it would be too dangerous. He was probably right.
Willey and I got into the Wrangler and drove down to Dodecanese Boulevard. We found a two dollar parking space behind a gift shop. That’s about the cheapest parking you can find. We parked, walked out to the front of the shop, and went in to pay the lady behind the counter.
It was a weekend afternoon and the Boulevard was jammed with tourists. It didn’t look like the hurricane did much damage to the area. We walked past the numerous small shops. Across the street the sponge boats were sitting peacefully at their moorings along the sidewalk. They didn’t show any signs of hurricane damage, either. As we passed a bakery we were drawn back to it by the aroma. Suddenly we were starving. We turned around and went in. We took a small table near the windows and ordered from the counter. We both ordered coffee and hot spinach pie. You can’t beat the spinach pie in Tarpon Springs, except for Sofie’s. We settled into our spot and watched the tourists go by. Across the street the sight-seeing boats full of people glided past the sponge boats. I felt I like I could reach out and touch them. It was a pleasant way to spend an afternoon.
Afterward we walked down to the cigar hut and bough
t a couple of cigars.
Then we sat on a sidewalk bench and lit them up. There were no self righteous stares from the crowd here. In fact, quite a few of the men walking by were smoking cigars.
“This is how life should be,” Willey said. I agreed. We were sitting in the shade and there was a nice breeze coming off the water. It could not be a nicer day if it tried— and then a dark cloud came rolling down the sidewalk. John Flaherty was heading our way! Willey had spotted him at the same time I did. I reached over to a basket-like trash can next to the bench and pulled out a discarded newspaper. I gave half to Willey and put the other half in front of my face. Nobody was a more ardent seeker of news than Willey and I as we sat on that bench.
Flaherty walked past us. He hadn’t seen us … or did he even know what we looked like?
“Does he know what we look like?” I asked Willey.
“Snydely and Stevens are the only ones who know what we look like.”
“Let’s see where he goes,” I said. We jumped up and trailed Flaherty down the street. Before long Flaherty went into a bar.
“Should we go in,” Willey asked.
I looked in the front window. It was pretty dark in there. “I don’t have my gun on me,” I said. “What if Flaherty knows what we look like and he has a gun? Do you think he’s crazy enough to shoot us?”
Willey scratched his beard. “If I go in and sit at the bar and he pays no attention to me, then, after a while, you can come in.”
“What if he recognizes you and he shoots you,” I asked.
“In that case, don’t come in.”
“I don’t like that idea,” I said. “We’ll both go in. Besides, I don’t think Flaherty would shoot us with people around.” We went in, but it was so dark we couldn’t see much at first. We sat at the bar and let our eyes adjust to the dim light. Flaherty was three stools down from us. If he looked at us, we didn’t see it. He was busy talking to the bartender. We all looked up at the television when the announcer started yelling. Someone must have hit a homerun. The bartender looked to be Greek. Tarpon Springs was settled by Greek sponge fishermen many decades ago. He was weathered, and old enough to have been working a sponge boat long ago. There were a few other men in the bar. They were glued to the ballgame.