Once he was finished Anna ran inside and inspected her new hair in the bathroom mirror. It wasn’t exactly the way she imagined- one side of her hair was longer than the other and the top section didn’t sweep across her forehead the way she imagined that it would, but she was pleased nonetheless.
“You did a pretty good job, friend," Anna said, walking back through the screen door and taking a seat with him on the porch swing. “If there was anyone with hair left on this rock, I’d say that you could make a pretty decent living as a hairdresser.”
Cole smiled. “I’m pretty sure my hero firefighter of a dad would have loved that.” He adjusted uncomfortably in his seat and winced in pain.
“You ok?” Anna asked.
He nodded. “I wanted to ask… now that you know what happened to you… what do you plan on doing now? Are you going to go back home?”
“No, no way. That isn’t my home anymore," she stated firmly.
“Well, darlin,” Clovis interjected, “you can stay here as long as you want.”
“Thanks.” Anna smiled. “I really haven’t given it much thought. I’m still trying to process it all. It’s like… my life has changed in this profound way and the horizon just goes on forever.”
“Knowing you can’t die takes some getting used to.” Clovis laughed, and then immediately regretted it. “I’m sorry, Cole, I didn’t mean---“
“It’s ok.” His smile seemed forced. “You guys are coming to terms with just how long your life is… and I’m coming to terms with just how little time I have left.” His gaze shifted to out over the cemetery. “It doesn’t seem real--- we are all just sitting here talking… and at some point, you two will be sitting in these same seats, and I will be buried out there.”
“You don’t know that… maybe… maybe you’ll be ok," Anna said in a small voice.
He ignored her as he turned and grabbed his blue backpack next to him. “One of my favorite days I had with you was the night we spent with the Troopers.” He laughed to himself, “That was such weird and scary and fun day. And if you remember… you didn’t want to go with them.”
“I… I don’t think that’s true.” She smiled.
“You only said you would go because they said that they had coffee cake and wine.”
Clovis laughed.
“Alright… get to the point…” She made a circle with her index finger.
“When you woke up your immediate reaction was to go home. You were afraid to venture out… you didn’t even want anything to do with me at first. I had to follow you home. You wanted to live your life inside a safe bubble with things and people that you know.” He leaned over and placed his hand on hers. “And that’s ok… I know that the world is scary… especially now. But I don’t want you to stay that way. You have an amazing opportunity to change things and see the entire world.” He turned her hand over and placed two shotgun shells in her open palm.
“Are these…”
“I felt you were the most alive the night at the lake after those psychopaths tried to shoot down the moon. I think things changed with you that night.” He smiled. “I may have not done one single good thing in my entire life… but I want to make up for that now. Whenever you are feeling overwhelmed and you just want to hide… I want you to look at these shells and remember the night at the lake with me and face obstacles with the ferocity that you did that night.”
That night Anna retired to the bedroom in the attic and Cole requested to sleep on the couch in the living room. Anna lay awake most of the night and poured over the details of their friendship while she listened to him cough downstairs. What was she going to do after he was gone? There had to be something that she could do to help him. But what if she did? What if she found a cure to whatever he was suffering from and they lived out the rest of his days going on adventures and seeing the world only for him to die an old man after 60 years of friendship? That would no doubt be harder than if he died the next day. But to follow that philosophy wouldn’t be actually living, and she had an opportunity to fix the mistakes of her past life. She couldn’t be afraid to live or get hurt. It was in the breaking dawn that she realized what she needed to do.
In a span of a night, the bags under Cole’s eyes has become deeper and darker and he looked like he was slowly being drained of the stuff that made him alive. She wanted to wait until Clovis had started to make breakfast to make her announcement, but she knew there was no time to waste. She knocked on his bedroom door and asked him if he could come out into the living room because she had something to say. While she waited for Clovis to emerge, she gently tapped Cole on the shoulder and asked him to wake up. He stirred slightly and pulled himself upright.
“Is he dead?” Clovis rushed into the living room.
“No yet," Cole said and tried to clear his throat.
“Then what’s this all about?”
“Sit down over there.” Anna looked at Clovis and pointed to the armchair next to Cole. Once Clovis sat, Anna rubbed her hands together. “I had an idea last night. I thought about what Cole said… about being in a bubble and getting out to see the world. Cole, I want to know if you want to come with me on one last adventure.”
“What?”
“I have one last place to go.”
“I don’t… I can’t come with you. It can’t be like it was before.”
“It would be a road trip. You wouldn’t even have to get out of the car. You could just lay in the back seat.”
“Where ya thinkin’?” Clovis asked.
“The giant building that we saw that looks like it’s in D.C.” Her eyes glistened with excitement.
“Really? You said you didn’t want to go.”
“I know… but I listened to what you said last night… and what do we have to lose? You don’t have much time left and I have all of the time in the world left. Maybe there’s someone there that can help you. What do you say, will you come with me?”
Cole looked down at his bloodstained hands as he thought about it. “Sure. Let’s do it.” He looked up at her and smiled.
“I knew you’d agree!” She clapped her only working hand on her knee. “What about you, Clovis? Do you want to come?”
Clovis ran his hands through his beard. “You weren’t the only one thinking about things last night, darlin’.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve been wasting my time here. Sure, it’s the peace and quiet and solitude I spent my entire life yearning for… but I should be out there doing more. You said that you think there are more people out there like you, right?”
“Yeah, I’m almost certain. They’re not supposed to be activated for another 170 years though.”
“I want to go find them. I want to find them and work on rebuilding this town.”
Anna smiled. “That sounds like a really good plan.”
Clovis nodded. “Now, let gets you guys ready to hit the road.”
Chapter 18
The car ride to Washington D.C. was quiet and uncomfortable. What began as unbridled enthusiasm quickly turned into doubt and hesitation. Every beginning of a stilted conversation turned into a coughing fit by Cole, and each cough made Anna question whether or not Cole would even be able to make the long trip. He had planned on being buried on a nice quiet hill next to a church and his friends. What if he died on the way there? What was Anna supposed to do with his body? She felt that at any minute he could just be gone, and she hadn’t planned on what she would do if that situation arose.
Furthermore, any hope she had that there would be more survivors and activity the closer she got to the nation’s capital also vanished. If anything, the world looked more bleak and broken. Graffiti along the bridge overpasses stopped doing things like condemning the government, Greener Pastures, and A-IX, and began to say things like Welcome to Hell. There were dead bodies littered along the side of the road like roadkill possums and racoons, and shoes on bodies hanging from bridges scraped the roof of her car.
“Ar
e you seeing any of this?” Anna asked to the reflection of Cole in her rearview mirror.
“No," he responded without opening his eyes.
“Good.”
Despite every sign that urged her to turn around and go back, she continued to follow the dark tower that grew in size the closer she became. It didn’t look like any building she had ever seen before- it was constructed of a solid back material. It wasn’t brick or stone or concrete- it was something different. The tiny pinhole windows emitted a soft blue light that flickered intermittently.
“That is one serious looking tower,” Anna said, peering up through the windshield trying to find its roof that disappeared into the clouds.
“Think they’ll have pinball?” Cole asked.
“Pinball? What?” She turned around in her seat, perplexed at his strange comment, to find a thick layer of sweat running down his face and staining the collar of his shirt. “Ok, looks like we need to get a move on before you forget where you even are.” Her hands began to shake and she gripped the steering wheel tighter to steady them.
Old office buildings still smoldered from the fire that had melted them from their steel frames. There wasn’t a single car coming into the city, only a jam of dusty cars that were never able to leave. Anna thought back on how it felt when she descended upon the ruins of Akron after first awakening. Even back then, she held back hope that other parts of the country were still operating and occupied. But if this is what happened to the capital, there wasn’t much hope that there was anything left anywhere else. It was like she was driving through a nightmare, and the only solace she could find was that she was safe within the confines of her car.
That is, until the engine sputtered and came to a stop.
“No…” She banged on the steering wheel with her fist as she turned the key over and over again, only to be met with a ‘click’. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.”
Cole opened his eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing," she said in a calm voice. “I just have to check something real fast,” she lied and carefully closed the door behind her.
The city smelled like sulfur and garbage. There had to be a car somewhere that she could get running to take the rest of the way. The tower had to be only two miles away, but there was no way that Cole could make it, and there was no way she would be able to carry him. However, there were no other cars parked on her side of the highway, and every car that was parked on the other side of the concrete divider was surrounded by other cars. As she scanned the line of cars that she couldn’t use, she noticed a tarp on the roof of a minivan covering a pile of belongings. If she could untie the tarp from the roof, she could drag Cole into the city. She climbed on top of the minivan and began to feverishly untie the tripled tied yellow knots with one hand and her teeth.
“Wha chu fink yer doing?” a man with a patchy black beard and eyeless socket asked from behind her.
Anna turned so quickly to the direction of the voice that she lost her footing on the roof and fell to the ground. She propped herself up by her good arm and said “I’m just passing through--- that’s it.”
“You stealim’ from da dead?” He pointed to the car’s roof.
“What? No… No, I just wanted the tarp, that’s it I swear.”
Her answer seemed to pacify the man. He stared at her intensely, as if he were trying to find something else wrong with her. “You say you passin’ frew, yeah? Where ya goin’?”
Anna pointed to the dark building that cast a long shadow over them.
The man threw his head back in laughter. “They ain’t never gon let chu in.”
“Why? Who’s in there?”
“Dem in der? Dat’s Greener Pastures. Dey don’t let anyone in, man. Not even me an all my friens.” He pointed to a wagon that he was pulling behind him with naked Barbie dolls.
“Greener Pastures… they’re real?”
“Yeh.” The man seemed confused by her question. “I’m bout to cook up some Sundey supper, want to join me?”
“No…” Anna said in a small voice, “I still think I’m going to see if they will let me in.”
The man continued walking. “Heh, good luck with that, man.”
Anna continued to collect the tarp from the roof after the man was behind her and ran back to the car. “Cole… Cole…” She eagerly shook his shoulder.
He stirred slightly. “What?”
“The building… it’s Greener Pastures.”
“Neat.”
Anna frowned at his lack of enthusiasm, and briefly considered just taking him back. “No… we’re doing this. Come on… I need you to lay down on this tarp.”
Without questioning her, Cole slid himself down onto the tarp. “It’s cold out.”
“Cold? It’s like 100 degrees out here.”
“Must be the cold hand of death," he joked and then began to cough up more blood into his hands.
“That’s not funny,” Anna scolded, opening her trunk and pullingout a heavy crocheted afghan. “Tell death to fuck off," she said as she covered him.
“Thank you.” Cole smiled weakly up to Anna.
Anna wound the yellow cord around her only functional hand and found that pulling Cole on a tarp with one good hand wasn’t as easy as she thought. For the first 10 minutes, she had only managed to move forward 25 feet. And the longer she tried, and the harder she pulled, the less ground she covered.
“You were right the first time, you should turn around and go home.”
Anna dropped the yellow cord as she turned to face that old familiar voice. “Rick?”
“Hi again.” He smiled.
“You’re not real.”
“No shit.” Although it was him, there was a dark shift in his voice that sent a chill down her spine.
“What do you want?”
“I’m here to tell you to turn back and go home. Nothing good is going to come of this. They don’t want you in there. You are needed here.”
“There’s nothing left here. Why would I want to stay here among all these ghosts of what my life used to be? Look at me… I’m not the woman you married. I don’t even know why you’re here.”
“Because you are the woman I married. You still remember me. You still love me. You still love me. You still love me.”
“Stop it!” she snapped. “Why are you doing this to me?”
“Because I need you to stay here. I’m trying to help you.”
“If you want to help me, then leave me alone.” She picked the cord up with her hand.
“How about me? Would you listen to me?” a voice said from behind her.
She turned around. “Dad?” she said in a childlike voice.
“Hey there, kiddo.”
The last time that Anna had seen her dad was the night he and her mom left to go to a movie. He had kissed her on her forehead and told her to have fun, but she turned him away because she was mad that they were going to a movie without her. On the way home from the movie, her parents were struck head-on by a car going the wrong way down the freeway and died.
“You… You’re not real either.” She closed her eyes tightly and shook her head.
“You need to go back. You are needed here.” His voice carried the same dark echo that Rick’s had.
Anna admired all of the features of her dad that she had missed so much. “I’ve missed you.”
“I miss you too.”
“Can I hug you?” She took a step towards him.
He took a step back. “Only if you can promise me that you will stay here. You need to stay here, Anna.”
“But I need to help my friend.” She looked down at Cole wrapped in her old throw blanket.
“People are going to die, Anna. You can’t help him. Do it for me, Anna. Go back. Do it for me. Do it for me. Do it for---“
“Listen!” A dark voice pulled her attention a few feet in front of her. The voice was coming from herself, only she looked like she did when she was alive. Her hair was long and loose curl
s sat on her shoulders, and she was wearing soft pink lipstick and black eyeliner. Her arms were fully functional and she used them to emphatically convey her point. “If you won’t listen to them… you will listen to me, right?”
“I…”
“You might not think that you are me anymore… but you are. You are still the pathetic woman who’s afraid of getting lost in parking garages. And going in here is a mistake, Anna. You have to stay here. You have to stay here.”
“Why? No one is giving me a reason why.”
“Because it’s the right thing to do. You have a chance to do good, Anna. For thirty years, you did nothing- you weren’t a good teacher, you weren’t a mother, you weren’t a very supportive wife, and your parents died thinking you were mad at them. If a human doesn’t have the ability to change the world for the better, they can at least be a support system for the people around them… and you weren’t even that. You have the ability to stay here and find survivors and rebuilt this planet… to reclaim this planet. It’s the very reason you are here and I am decaying in our basement back in Akron. If you leave… you are spitting on the graves of everyone who helped you get to where you are right now.”
Anna swallowed hard and tried not to not let it show that the hurtful words had cut her. “I never asked for this.”
“That doesn’t really matter anymore, now does it?” Shadow Anna shook her head in disapproval. “You know I’m right. You can’t say that I’m not making compelling points… because they’re your points, too.”
“I need to help him.”
Shadow Anna scoffed. “Him? Why even bother befriending people like this? They’re just going to die and leave you alone. Anna- there are people just like you out there that will never leave you. They will never die. You have to stay. You have to stay. You have to stay.”
“No, you don’t.” Cole’s voice came from behind her.
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