On Love's Gentle Shore

by Liz Johnson

  So this was definitely a planned event. A … a … date? His mom was on a date with Harrison Grady. The realization rattled around as she continued jabbering, never taking her hand off Harrison’s arm. Definitely possessive, like she was afraid if she let go, one of the other ladies from the auxiliary would try to take him away.

  Doubtful. But maybe. After all, the man could cook. And his patch held a certain pirate intrigue.

  Harrison was a friendly guy. Quiet, but everyone loved him. He was honest and loyal and worked hard to keep his restaurant the best in town. Which was why Justin and his mom had been going there for years.

  But maybe she was going for other reasons too.

  The couple bites of burger in his stomach suddenly hit a rough patch, and he needed to find a quiet place to digest this. All of it.

  “So are you going to sit with us?” she asked.

  “No thanks.” He pointed toward the drink table. “I’m going to get some lemonade.”

  Harrison nodded. “Try one of those miniature pies that Caden made. Amazing.”

  With that the two slipped into the masses. If not for the way the moon reflected off Harrison’s broad shoulders and balding head, Justin would have lost sight of them immediately in the darkness. But he watched the way his mother looked up and laughed, presumably at something he said. Not that Harrison was prone to making jokes.

  “They make a nice couple.”

  He jumped again. This time at Natalie’s magical appearance. “They’re a couple?”

  “Of course. Where have you been?”

  Caught up in his own mind and worries and daydreams. Not that Natalie needed to know that. “Did she tell you that?”

  “She didn’t have to. It’s clear to anyone with at least one working eye.”

  He chuckled at the lighthearted reference to Harrison’s patch. But something inside him still felt sick. Had he really missed something obvious because he’d been so caught up in his own little world that seemed to revolve around Natalie?

  “Is she—do you think she’s happy?”

  She giggled like a schoolgirl with a world of secrets. “Justin, it’s been fifteen years since your dad died.”

  “I know. But I mean, is she happy with Harrison?”

  “She’s been on her own a long time. If she wasn’t happy with him, she wouldn’t bother with him. But look how sweet he is.”

  At that moment Harrison helped her into a foldable camping chair and settled her in place before sliding into the one beside her. Then he gently took her hand and held it in his own.

  “I think she’s happy.”

  Justin blinked. “All right.” What else could he say? They’d grieved together for a long time. But if his mom was ready to move on, he was ready to watch her.

  “Where’s Russell?”

  She didn’t turn to look at him, instead keeping her gaze in the direction of the sea of lawn chairs. “With our friends who are here already. They set up a blanket on the edge of the water.”

  “Why aren’t you with them?”

  “Because I needed to find you.”

  Suddenly a loud boom pierced the night, and the accompanying red spray across the sky saved him from having to respond. There were a hundred things he wanted to say to her in that moment, and only one he wanted to do. The one he’d sworn he wouldn’t do again.

  The crowd oohed and aahed, and she refused to look in his direction, her neck and arms stiff in the moonlight. The light was gentle on her skin, turning it to pearl, but the blues and greens of the show painted intermittent colors across her cheeks, hiding her freckles for an instant before fizzling out.

  “Are you really going to do it?”

  He knew what she meant, but he didn’t have a ready answer, so he stalled. “Do what?”

  “Play at my wedding?”

  “When else would I ever have a chance to play in front of a dozen or more music industry big shots at the same time? This could be my chance for the deal I’ve worked my whole life for.”

  She sucked in a sharp breath and hugged herself like she was cold. Except it was a perfect night, warm with a gentle island breeze that felt more like a caress than an embrace. “You didn’t answer my question.”

  No. He hadn’t exactly. But she had to know she couldn’t ask him to back out now.

  “Are you really going to marry a man who has no idea who you are?”

  An explosion seemed to shake the very ground they stood on, and she jumped. But she didn’t speak.

  “He has no idea about your parents or your childhood.”

  “So what?” Her voice was low, thoughtful. “That’s not who I am anymore.”

  “You may not be that kid, but she sure shaped you. She’s in the stutter that still comes out when you’re scared or uncertain. She’s in the way you try so hard to show people that you’re worthy of love. She’s in that sharp tongue you try so hard to hide from him. Does he even know how to volley it back at you?”

  She bit the corner of her bottom lip and peeked at him out of the side of her eye. “What do you know about it?”

  “Only that I’ve been on the receiving end of your redheaded temper more times than I can count.” He paused for a quick breath but didn’t dare hold off longer before continuing, lest she jump in to demonstrate exactly what he was saying. “And it’s one of the things I love about you.”

  Her mouth was wide open, ready to argue, but his words seemed to steal the air from her balloon.

  “How can he love the things he doesn’t even know about? He has no idea about the little girl with stained clothes and messy hair who was picked on and bullied and overcame it all. He doesn’t know how brave you were to leave this island or what it means that you got away.”

  When she finally answered, she dipped her chin and spoke to her shoes, perfect little flats fitting for a ballerina. She took a shaky breath that sounded strangely close to a sob. “He doesn’t have to. That’s not who I am.”

  “Or is it just not who you pretend to be?”

  “I can’t not marry him now. You know what’ll happen if I don’t.”

  He did. He could hear the old biddies blabbering about it already. Rick and Connie O’Ryan’s little girl couldn’t even get her marriage off the ground. No one’s surprised. She’s just like her parents.

  “Is that a good enough reason to build your marriage on a lie?”

  20

  There you are.”

  Justin jumped in surprise as his mother came up behind him. She rarely came into the barn. Not since he’d learned the ropes and taken over the full-time running of the farm.

  But he didn’t bother turning around as he ran a hand over the back of one of his heifers. “Morning, Mom.” The cow let out a hard breath, and he ran his hand down her side, feeling for anything that could be causing distress and the terrible mewling that had been coming from her stall at all hours of the night. Her coat was warm and soft, and her ribs were all as they should be.

  “You going to look at me? Or are you still upset about last night?”

  “I’m not upset about last night.” Well, not just about last night. More like everything that had been building up to that moment when Natalie had stalked off without answering his last question. Which, when he’d thought about it, was answer enough.

  She was going to marry a man who didn’t truly know who she was. And she was okay with that.

  Maybe she’d changed more than he thought. Because she sure wasn’t the woman he’d known her to be.

  “Why won’t you talk to me about it?” Her voice was closer, imploring, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw her rub the cow’s nose.

  “What is there to talk about?” He hated how surly his voice sounded. But he couldn’t let it go. After all, it hadn’t even been twenty-four hours. He just needed time to process. His mom usually knew when to push him where Natalie was concerned and when to let it be.

  “Well, this is a big change. I thought you might have some … I don’t know …
thoughts about it.”

  “I have plenty of thoughts.” The trouble was none of them worked for him. They mostly involved having that kiss he’d wanted so badly to start at the bottom of the stairs the other day, and that was out of the question. So far out-of-bounds that he couldn’t even give that idea a chance to take root.

  Checking the cow’s hind legs, he ran a steady hand over her joints. Maybe the one nearest him was a little swollen. He squeezed it, trying to keep his grip gentle.

  Bessie didn’t agree on the level of pressure. She stamped her hoof on the toe of his boot, and he swallowed a scream and a word that would have gotten him a spanking if he’d said it in front of his mom as a child. Even inside his heavy-duty work boots, his toes throbbed. He was pretty sure they weren’t broken, but they would probably swell all the same.

  He groaned as he leaned a shoulder into the cow’s side. “Not a fan of that, huh?” he crooned. “It’s okay. I won’t do it again.”

  Bessie bawled like she was waiting for some sort of guarantee. He just patted her side. “We’ll let the vet handle that leg next time. But try not to step on him, okay, Bess? He charges extra when you do that.”

  His mom chuckled. “At least you still have a sense of humor.”

  Yeah, well, Natalie had stolen that from him once. He wasn’t keen on letting her take it away again. “I won’t let it go this time.”

  “This time?” His mom’s forehead wrinkled, her smile fading.

  “Yes. This time. We’ve been through this before, haven’t we?”

  She laughed. “Not to my knowledge. I should know. After all, I’m the one dating again.”

  “Dating?”

  “Harrison Grady. You saw us last night. Or have you blocked that out?”

  Justin rested his arm across Bessie’s back and turned to look squarely at his mom. The humor of the misunderstanding was just beginning to hit him. “We’re talking about you and Harrison?”

  “Yes. That’s why you’re so upset and skipped breakfast and slammed your door three times during the night.” Her voice was so earnest, so certain.

  He shook his head slowly. “I’m not upset about you dating.”

  Her chin tipped, and her sapphire gaze turned skeptical. “You’re not?”

  He looked at her, really looked her over from head to toe, and he couldn’t stop the smile that broke out across his face. “Mom, I love you. And I want you to be happy. I mean, I was surprised, but …”

  “That I’d want some companionship?”

  “That you’d choose Harrison. I mean, the man barely talks, but I bet he’s a pretty good listener.”

  The only light in the barn came through the open door at the end of the aisle, and it did a poor job of illuminating much of anything. Still, he could see the pink in her cheeks rising.

  “He is. And he’s so gentle. He’s a good man.”

  He ran a hand over his hair, its short length still unusual. But he didn’t regret the decision. He was going to have to start a new phase in his life whether he kept the ponytail or not. Might as well mark the change on the outside too.

  Gripping the back of his neck, he tugged, hoping it might loosen the question he wanted to ask. He wasn’t entirely sure what that was. “Are you … Is he like Dad?”

  Suddenly she closed the distance between them, grabbing his free hand and pulling it into her grip. “I will never forget your father. I still love him. But I have room in my heart for more love. Like when you were born, I didn’t think I could possibly ever love anyone as much as I loved you. Then your brother came along. And your sister. And I realized that my love for each of you couldn’t diminish my love for the others.”

  He pursed his lips. “So you love him, huh? This is pretty serious. Guess I better ask him what his intentions are.”

  “Don’t you dare, you horrid child, or I’ll stop making you breakfast.” But her laughter made her threat impotent.

  Pulling her into his arms, he hugged her tightly. “I love you, Mom. And I’m glad that you and Harrison are happy together.”

  “Me too.” Her posture suddenly stiffened. “But if you’re not upset about that, why all the slamming doors and pacing feet last night?”

  “Sorry I kept you up.”

  “Apology accepted.” She pulled away and stared right into his eyes. “But you didn’t answer my question.”

  He sighed, finding a spot over her shoulder and staring at it like it held all the secrets to life.

  “I suppose this is about Natalie then?”

  He flinched. “What makes you say that?”

  “Only two women in your life have ever made you this crazy. And you just said we’re okay.”

  He wanted to take a deep breath, but the scents of the barn were amplified by the summer heat, and he coughed at the stench. The smell was both his livelihood and his prison, the thing that had kept him going after his dad’s death and that kept him from going after Natalie and his dreams.

  “She’s going to marry him, Mom.”

  Her eyebrows rose to full mast. “And she shouldn’t?”

  “Come on.” He waved toward the house. “You saw us the other day. That wasn’t a fluke. It wasn’t … I can’t believe she’s ignoring everything between us.”

  “But she’s engaged to Russell.”

  He stabbed trembling fingers through his hair. “I know. But he doesn’t know her. He doesn’t really have any idea who he’s marrying. He doesn’t know about her childhood or her life here on the island. He doesn’t know how funny or smart or brave she is. He probably thinks she’s just like every other girl out there. Because she’s too afraid to tell him otherwise.” He scrubbed his face and stared at his mother through this fingers. “She’s too afraid to show him the real her.”

  “But the real her, those are your favorite things about her, aren’t they?”

  He shrugged. “Pretty much.”

  “So why doesn’t she tell him?”

  Scratching at the back of his neck, he kept his head low and his voice lower. “I think she’s scared. She told me … well, she said that she’d been afraid maybe she wasn’t worth loving.”

  He glanced up just in time to see his mom’s mouth grow tight, her arms crossing over her middle. “You told her the truth?”

  “Yes.” He’d told her she was special. Told her she was lovable. Because she was.

  “So why not show her that Russell could also love those unique things about her?”

  He blinked hard, the realization sitting like a seventy-ounce steak in his stomach. “Aren’t you supposed to be on my side?”

  With a laugh that was neither rich nor particularly funny, she pulled him into a quick hug. “I am on your side. If you’re convinced that Natalie marrying Russell is a mistake, I only have one question. What are you going to do about it?”

  True, it was only one question. But it sure packed a wallop.

  All of the clichés ran through his mind. He could stand and object when Father Chuck asked if anyone would. Or he could burst in on the scene a la The Graduate. He could burn the barn down—then she’d really have no place for the wedding. But that seemed awfully extreme, when all he really wanted was for her to have the life she wanted.

  If she thought Russell was the one, he wouldn’t argue. He couldn’t argue any more than he already had.

  Which left him with just one painful option.

  “I’m going to play at their wedding.”

  She let out a low whistle, astonishment heavy on her features. “When did that happen?”

  “Yesterday. They had to move the ceremony to the barn because of the fire at the church.”

  She nodded, but the firm line of her mouth told him she had much more on her mind. “I always thought that if anyone got married on our property, in that old building, it would be you and Natalie.”

  Well, that sucked the air right out of the barn. “Me and Natalie? You thought about that? About us?”

  “’Course I did. I always wanted another d
aughter, and it was clear from the first day you brought her home that there was something special between you.”

  “We were only ever friends, Mom. We never dated or anything.”

  “Oh, you don’t have to date to fall in love. Your father and I didn’t date. We worked together in the potato fields every summer, side by side. And one day he went from being that annoying kid with too much to say to a very handsome young man, and I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Falling in love is the easy part.”

  And he had. Fallen in love, that is. He’d known it when they were in school, known that he wanted—needed—Natalie to be a part of the rest of his life.

  And he’d done it again—fallen for her not in spite of her insecurities and temper but because of them. She brought a passion to everything she did and challenged him in a way that the pretty girls at his shows never could have.

  Yet he was going to play for her as she walked toward another man and a future that didn’t include him at all.

  And he had no choice in the matter.

  Squeezing his arm, his mom turned toward the house, then offered one quick thought before going. “Whatever you choose to do, don’t let anyone else make that decision for you.”

  “Thank you, Aretha,” Natalie said as she loaded the last of the lanterns into the trunk of her car.

  Aretha waved from the back door of the antique store. “Are you sure you don’t want me to send Jack with you to help you unload them?”

  “It’s okay. I’ve got this.”

  “All right then. I’ll see you tomorrow at the wedding.”

  Yes. The wedding was only a day away. This visit to the island, this return to her home, was almost over. And then she could go back to the life she’d been planning for.

  She slammed the trunk closed and hurried to the driver’s side door.

  “Hello, Natalie.”

  The voice that had once sent shivers racing down her spine wasn’t quite so intimidating now, and she turned toward her father.

  “Hi, Dad.”

  He stood on the sidewalk, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans like he’d been out for a stroll with nowhere to go. “Getting ready for tomorrow?”