by B. M. Hardin
“How are you feeling?” Shelton asked me.
By far one of the hardest questions I’d ever been asked in my life.
“Honestly Shelton, I don’t know,” I said to him.
I studied his face and his body language.
I wanted to tell him that I felt like I was married to a complete stranger, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
I wanted to tell him that I was angry with him and that because of him, I almost died, twice, and because of him I loss our child, but I didn’t want him to feel any worse than he probably already did.
So, I allowed my silence to say what I couldn't.
“I’m sorry that I wasn’t honest with you, but I couldn’t be. I tried to be so many times, but I just couldn't. Even that night that you thought I sleep talking; I wasn't. I was awake. I was trying to force myself to say it then...but it just wouldn't come out. I couldn't force myself to say it. But I promise no more secrets. I am the man you fell in love with. I am that God fearing man that you are proud to call your husband. I promise that I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you…if you let me,” Shelton promised.
See, it was when he said things like this that made me want to forget the obvious and ride with him until the wheels fell off; but it just wasn’t that simple.
Maybe for him it was; but it wasn’t for me.
I managed to force myself to smile in his direction, but I knew that things would never be the same.
No matter how bad he wanted them to be.
Another thing weighing heavily on my mind, was the fact that he only approached me; pursued me out of revenge.
I know, he says that he fell in love with me; but had it not been for what Ricky had done...would he have even noticed me?
“You know, I remember telling Shelby---Dianna, the day that we landed here, that I wasn't sure if I would ever get married again. I was just going to start my life over and live for God. Surely I didn’t deserve a second chance at life...and especially not love. A killer, drug dealer like me, didn’t deserve a second chance; but nevertheless, He had given me that and so much more. I made a promise to Him that I was going to take this Pastor thing seriously. And then there you were. I fell in love with you and all I wanted to do was make you happy. God and you were all I needed. I never felt anything near what I feel for you---for Sheila. You are my one true love; you were created just for me. You have to believe that,” Shelton came closer to me and fell to his knees.
Damn it…I believed him.
I didn’t want to; but I did.
“Pray with me,” Shelton suggested.
Prayer was definitely worth a try, so I joined him on my knees, and silently, we bared our souls to the Man above.
~***~
It was our last Sunday at the church and emotions were at an all-time high.
Shelton was a mess and so was I.
These people had been like family to the both of us.
We loved them, and they loved us.
They loved our daughter and we simply didn’t want to say goodbye.
But we both knew that we had to.
It was for the best.
It was for our safety.
As Shelton preached his last sermon, I wondered what was next for us.
I wondered if we would be happy; or if Shelton would preach again.
We were informed that we would all have to change our names; and all of us would be erased from every record, just like Shelton and Dianna had been; just as though we never existed.
Luckily, I had no one looking for me, so it didn’t bother me so much but I guess it was going to take some getting used to.
Mackenzie was still young so hopefully adjusting to her new name wouldn't be too difficult.
We were moving to Florida; and of course we were to never return to South Carolina.
We were also told that we couldn't keep in touch with anyone, which was going to be a little hard for both of us---especially Shelton.
We had to start all the way over…again.
I was trying to stay as positive about the situation as possible.
I’d always wanted to go to Florida, and now I would be living there.
I guess as long as we were together, that was all that really mattered.
Yes, I decided to forgive him and stand by his side.
After all, with Dianna gone, he truly had no one else.
Shelton and I were going to be just fine.
Shelton prepared to do the altar call and everyone stood to their feet.
Suddenly, out of nowhere…
“He’s a fake! This man is no Pastor! He’s a liar! He has a son that he doesn't take care and if you keep following him...he’s going to lead you straight to the pits of Hell! He's a lying, conniving snake and a adulterer! This man is my husband...not hers!” Sheila yelled, pointing in my direction.
How in the hell had she gotten pass the patrol?
It was clear that she was drunk and she was dragging along side of her a little boy who looked identical to Mackenzie...minus the head full of her.
Yep, he was Shelton's alright.
The church filled with chatter as Shelia continued to make her way to the altar.
Shelton was as still as a lake right before midnight.
It was as if he was afraid that if he moved, he just might choke the life out of her.
Either that or it was because he had never seen his son before---in the flesh that is.
Even with the paternity test, he was swiped at a local lab and the swabs were sent off.
I followed his gaze as it toggled from Shelia to the little boy, multiple times.
Shelia continued to yell and expose Shelton for everything that he used to be.
She spit out every single detail that she could about his past and even went into her pocket to pull out he marriage license; waving it in the air.
I wondered why it hadn't burned in the fire along with everything else.
Ours was framed; before the robber ruined it; but maybe she had kept hers tucked away in her purse for whatever odd reason.
But nevertheless, she was surely proud of that piece of paper.
I looked around at the church members faces.
Some were faces of disbelief.
Others were faces of betrayal and frustration.
All were looking on, at Shelton; waiting for his next move or at least a response.
I had to do something, and I had to do it fast.
I had an idea, but this wasn’t the place for it.
It wasn’t the time for it.
What would everyone say?
What would everyone think?
And then it hit me, after today, I would never see these people again…so to hell with what they thought!
Shelia was so busy talking, yelling and screaming that she didn’t see me approaching her.
But Shelton and the entire church did.
His eyes became as big as golf balls.
And just as Shelia turned around…
I knocked her ass out!
What…that was my lick back!
I asked the Lord to forgive me, grabbed Mackenzie by the hand and reached out my other one for Shelton to grab it.
He took off his robe, stepped over Shelia and grabbed my hand.
He stood for only a moment and then he turned to look at the little boy, who was now crying at the sight of his mother laying face down on the floor.
Shelton reached for his hand.
He only looked at Shelton at first; and then he looked back down at his mother again.
Shelton called him by his name and smiled at him and told him that it was okay if he took his hand.
After another minute of coaching, finally, he did.
Shelia didn't move.
I had knocked her out cold.
Maybe there, on that altar, maybe she would find Jesus.
The church was in an uproar as we headed out of the church.
Neither of us bothered to look b
ack as we headed out of the double doors…
Bang! Bang! Bang!
I was still holding on to Shelton’s hand as he fell to the ground.
Bang! Bang!
And I was still holding on to Shelton's hand...as I fell down beside of him.
~**********~
~The sad part about winning is...that someone else has to lose~
Anonymous
Chapter Eleven
“Mrs. Jackson?”
I just stared at the man, who was reaching me a fan.
Oh, damn...he was talking to me.
Remembering my new name was harder than I thought it would be.
Instead of Maxine Cartwright, I was now Nora Jackson.
And my husband was no longer Pastor Shelton Cartwright...he was now;
Pastor Shawn W. Jackson.
That Sunday, months ago, Shelton and I were both shot; by the former FBI agent Steven Curry.
Come to find out, he was Shelia and Dianna's brother…from another mother.
Their father had been with women all over the place and apparently he had a few kids that he forgot to mention; at least to their mother.
Steven had always known who his father was.
And Shelia, being his favorite, had also known the truth for quite sometime.
Just so happen, the day that Shelton called to speak to someone about Shelia discovering that he and Dianna were alive and Steven had been the one to answer the call.
After looking through Shelton's files, Steven found out that he had been the one to put away his father.
Steven contacted Shelia and together, informed their father of Shelton's whereabouts.
Their father, knowing that Shelton had been a part of putting him away, ordered a hit on Shelton...and his family.
He had a few people who owed him a few favors; and Shelton's death would be somewhat of a settlement.
But Steven and Shelia promised him that they could get the job done themselves.
Steven didn't want anything to come back with his involvement; and secretly Sheila wanted to see if she had a chance at trying things with Shelton again.
Obviously, she loved him more than Shelton thought she did.
But things hadn't ruled in either one of their favor.
Shelton didn't want to be back with Shelia; and after our little conversation that day with the head honcho in charge, the FBI had suspended Steven until they could get to the bottom of his lies.
So, now, both of them hated Shelton...and wanted him...and me...dead.
But they both had failed.
I guess now they all could share stories; jail cell to jail cell.
After all, they all had a whole lifetime to bond...literally.
As for Shelton and I; we both lived.
Shelton was shot twice in his right arm and once in his shoulder.
Only one of two bullets fired in my direction hit me in my arm as well.
For an FBI agent, you would think that Steven would have had better aim.
We’d heard that he had never missed.
Not even once.
He always got his target.
But I guess we had a man named Jesus on our side.
Either that; or Steven felt some kind of internal connection, and wasn't as comfortable killing his sister...as he'd thought he would've been.
That's right.
I was Shelia’s; Shelby's (Dianna) and Steven's...long lost...sister.
I'd known for quite some time now.
I'd discovered it a while ago, during the time that I had been doing all that research, background checking and investigating on Shelia.
One day, while looking at their father's record, Paul Ray Brown, I came across an address that was familiar.
It was the address of the house that I had grown up in, back in Texas.
It also showed that the same year that I was born, only a month or two before, a California address started to pop up on his record.
I discovered a marriage license for him; and he wasn't married to Mama.
It was obvious that they had an affair.
Whether Mama knew or not initially; I'm not sure, but at some point, I'm assuming that she found out.
That had to be the reason why Mama killed him off and that also had to be the reason why he never tried to find me or at least be a part of my life.
Or maybe he did; and Mama just wouldn't let him.
Mama had even lied about his name.
The few times she had mentioned it, she had called him Ray Paul Lowery.
She had simply flipped his first and middle name---and given him her last name.
So, after I put two and two together, it wasn't hard to figure it all out.
I knew that it was him.
I had found my Daddy.
When everything hit the fan, I thought about telling Shelton...I really did...I really wanted to; but really, what was the point?
We couldn't change much of anything, and there was no real way to undo or fix the situation.
The most important thing was that now, after searching for him my whole life, I knew who my Daddy was...and now I could spend the rest of my life---forgetting him.
Shelia was arrested and sent to prison for attempted murder, hit and run, and for the murder of our baby sister.
In a way, I guess that could have been the reason why Dianna and I had always had such a special connection.
But never would I have thought that we were actually connected.
As for Shelia, sometimes, in a way, I could almost relate to her and if I wasn't careful I might even find myself feeling sympathy for her.
I could see how she would have wanted her husband back; a husband that she felt rightfully belonged to her; a husband that was forcefully taken from her.
But I simply couldn’t justify her actions.
Not hers... or our father’s; or our brother’s.
So, they were all people of the past and apart of the memories that we had left behind us in South Carolina.
Now, the four of us; Shelton, Mackenzie, Shelia's son and myself, were all adjusting to the Florida beach life; and I for one, had not one, single complaint.
Shelton had found another open position for a Pastor and he was now the head Pastor of Hidden Valley Baptist Church.
The church applauded as he stepped up to the podium.
He glanced in my direction and smiled.
I couldn’t have been more proud of him.
His past was behind him and I could see the light of Heaven shining down on him.
This is what he was born to do.
This was why God had spared him.
This was his testimony.
I looked at him with more love and respect than I ever had before.
There he goes...
My Pastor…and My Husband.
~*********~
~Romans 3:23 King James Version (KJV)
23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God~
Jesus
~***The End***~
Note from the Author
Passion has always been my passion and I appreciate the opportunity to share my writing with you.
I absolutely love to write and I love my readers.
Thank you all for coming on this journey with me.
Email me: [email protected]
or at [email protected]
Twitter me: @BMHardin
Facebook me: www.facebook.com/authorbmhardin
Check out my other books:
Dirty Bonds
Every Woman has a Price
Can You Stay for Breakfast?
The Wrong Shade of Lipstick
Mrs. Jones.
100%); -moz-filter: grayscale(100%); -o-filter: grayscale(100%); -ms-filter: grayscale(100%); filter: grayscale(100%); " class="sharethis-inline-share-buttons">share