by Kiki Swinson
Vegas turned out to be a dream come true. I could have never imagined. Never before had I stepped foot out of St. Louis, so I hadn’t had any idea what other parts of the world could be like. Caesar had acquired a fake ID for me so Vegas was wide open. And he spared no expense—we shopped, gambled, and partied. Caesar took only two bodyguards with us so we were not overcrowded with an entourage. Plus, they were the only two in the crew who knew about us.
When our last day in the city arrived, we started to pack our things.
“Don’t forget to pack this.” Caesar held a bag in his hand.
“What’s that? I packed everything already.” I continued to zip up my suitcase.
“Well, you must have forgot this.” He handed me the bag and I realized it was from Saks. Opening it up I recognized a Saint Laurent tote that I had looked at while we were out shopping the day before. “When did you buy this? You do know it costs ten thousand dollars? For a purse.” That was the exact reason why I’d decided not to get it, because I’d thought ten thousand was too much to pay for a purse. Period.
“It’s only money, Yazz.” He grinned.
“Aww, thank you, Caesar.” I hugged him tight. “You are so good to me.” I almost cried because it was the truth. “How did you know I wanted this purse?”
“I’m pretty good at observing, and you eyed that particular one at least three times. That was enough for me. Yazz, you can have whateva you like if you don’t know that by now. So get used to this.” I wasn’t sure what he meant, but that bag had me blushing and I could not stop.
CHAPTER 13
Arriving home from Vegas I was tired and craved a hot shower and the bed. It was around seven o’clock in the evening so I knew Kevon should have been out collecting on plays. But, to my surprise, he was home sitting on the living room couch.
“Hey, babe. I wasn’t expecting you to be home.”
“Why not? You’ve been gone four days and three long nights. Shit, I miss you.” He stood up and made his way over to me.
“Aww, really? I’m glad to hear that.” I dropped my suitcase and wrapped my arms around his neck. But, to be honest, I had been too busy to miss him while I was gone. Nevertheless, it was good seeing him.
“Why don’t you come over and sit down? I’ll put your things away for you.”
“That sounds really good, babe. But I am so tired. All I really want is a shower and some sleep.”
“Okay, well, let me take your things to the room.”
“You got it. Go ahead and be my guest.” I grinned while heading to my bedroom.
“So how was the trip?” Kevon asked as he put my suitcase on top of the bed.
“It was so much fun,” I admitted while unzipping my suitcase. There were some new silk pajamas inside that I wanted to sleep in.
“So what did Caesar do while you were there? Did he have any meetings?”
“Actually, no, we spent every minute together.”
“You mean he never left you alone?”
“Nope. Everywhere I went, he went. All we did was shop, gamble, and party. Babe, Vegas was so much fun. We gotta go together. Oh, and look at this purse Caesar bought me. This damn purse costs ten thousand dollars.” I beamed as I admired my purse again. I was in complete love with it.
“Is that all you care about, that damn purse and designer shit? What the fuck, Yazz? Have you lost focus on what the goal is? This is not some fucking vacation, shopping-spree game. You must want to be with this nigga or some!” He snatched the purse from me and threw it. Dumbfounded could not have described how I felt. But this was not my fault. And watching my Saint Laurent bag fly across the room was the final straw.
“Fuck you, Kevon,” I yelled. “You can kiss my natural black ass. I know this ain’t a fucking game. But all this shit was your idea. It was you who asked me to get close to him, then fuck him, all this to take his mind off the fact that I’m your fuckin’ girl. Now you want to accuse me of wanting him and losing focus. Your ass must be crazy. This right here is some shit I don’t need. I’m outta here.” Grabbing the keys to my Mercedes, I dashed out the house, then out of the driveway, so fast I almost hit a car that was passing by. Kevon snatched the front door open, yelling my name as I burned rubber, not sure if I would ever return.
As I drove around the city, my mind drifted back to Ruthie. I was trying so hard to remember some of the good times we had shared when I was little. Sadly, there were none, except maybe on a Christmas morning when she bought me toys. And I had to admit, she had always bought me good toys. Was that some form of love? God, how I wished I knew. Before I knew it, I was parked across the street from Ruthie’s house. She must have been home because all the lights were on. Thinking about the last words she had said to me made me realize I had become her. The man who was supposed to love me had convinced me to sleep with another man for his own personal gain. The only difference was me being smart enough not to get pregnant and have an unwanted baby to blame.
Racking my brain trying to figure out how anybody could be so stupid, I drove to the Hilton and rented a room for two nights. Still craving that hot shower, I undressed and jumped right into the warm water. After a good scrub, I felt refreshed. I grabbed one of the robes provided by the hotel. As I crawled under the covers, the tears fell and soaked my pillow until sleep claimed me.
The first thing on my mind the next morning was clothes. I could not walk around naked or in the same clothes for two days. And going to Kevon’s house to get clothes was not an option. Both Caesar’s cribs had clothes that belonged to me, but I didn’t want to run into anybody. Now was just not the time. So instead I threw on my old clothes and headed out to retrieve a few outfits. After I got dressed, Mimi’s house was my first destination. On my way there, I finally turned my cell phone back on. There were twenty missed calls from Kevon with messages. Mimi had called as well.
As soon as she opened the door, she reached out and hugged me tight. “Where have you been? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I booked a room at the Hilton last night.”
“Why didn’t you come here?”
“I needed to be alone for a minute.”
“What happened?”
“Kevon and I had an argument,” I admitted.
“So that’s what happened. He came by last night and has been calling this morning, looking for you. Was it that bad that you had to run off though, Yazz? It’s not like you not to call me. Wait a minute—did that motherfucker hit you or something?” Mimi got fired up.
“No, he didn’t hit me. He was just actin’ crazy and being jealous of some guys that were on the trip. He tried to accuse me of giving one of them my number. I got tired of hearing it so I split,” I lied, but some truth did follow. “I’m just going through a hard time right now. This may sound crazy, but I miss Ruthie.” Tears fell freely down my face. “I know she has always been horrible to me, but something deep down in me still loves her.” I cried like a baby. Was it wrong to crave your mother’s love when she had been nothing but a bitch to you?
“It’s okay, Yazz. All these feelings are normal.” Mimi hugged me. “Maybe you should go visit her. I know it sounds insane, but seeing her might help.”
“No, I’m not ready for that yet.” I sniffed. Mimi handed me a Kleenex and I blew my nose.
“Okay, well, when you are ready, I’ll go with you if you like.”
Everyone needed a friend like Mimi. She always had my back, no matter what. Without her, I may not even know what love is. Kevon’s name lit up my phone. Pressing the IGNORE button was my response to him. But he called right back.
“Yazz, go ahead and answer,” Mimi tried to encourage me.
“Fuck him.” I rolled my eyes at the phone. He deserved to be ignored. If she only knew what was really going down. She would hate him.
“At least let him know that you are okay.”
“Why should I?” I groaned. His name lit up again on my phone. He had some nerve to keep calling me. Punk ass.
; “Go ahead and answer,” Mimi pled. At that moment, I wanted to roll my eyes at her, but she looked so pitiful.
“Hello,” I answered reluctantly, my attitude in tow. If he thought I would be nice or reasonable, he was wrong.
“Babe.” Kevon’s voice sounded shaky, like he had been crying.
I sighed loudly. “Yes, it’s me, Kevon. Who else would answer my phone?”
“Yazz, babe, I know you are mad at me, but I am so sorry about every foul and fucked-up word that came outta my reckless-ass mouth. Please come home. I’ll never, ever disrespect you again.”
As much as I wanted to remain mad, he sounded so sincere. But I wasn’t no fool. He would suffer some more.
“Right now I’m kinda busy, but if you’re home later I may swing by. But I’m busy right now so I have to go.” With that said, I ended the call before he could reply. That would leave him worrying about what I was doing while I decided what I wanted to do and when.
“What happened?” Mimi inquired.
“He apologized and begged for me to come home. What else?” I remarked snidely. That was what all guys did to get their way. I wasn’t stupid.
“Awww, that’s so sweet.”
“Yeah, yeah, whateva. You know how it goes, but I’ma make his ass sweat a minute.” I grinned. “You don’t piss me off and expect for me to give in with one call and a tear.”
“I feel you, and that, you learned from me.” She laughed.
I hung out with Mimi for the rest of the day. We dropped Alijah off at Sheila’s and went out for dinner and drinks. And since I was paid up at the Hilton for one more night, I stayed. Shit, I was no fool.
CHAPTER 14
The next morning, when I unlocked the door to the condo and walked in, I found Kevon sitting on the living room couch wide awake. It was clear he had waited up for me. One look at his red, swollen eyes, and I knew he hadn’t slept a wink since I’d been gone. Maybe he really was sorry. Easing off the couch and making his way over to me, he apologized over and over. My original plan had been to play hard to get, but as he started to kiss me all over, I melted. His tender touches were more than I could resist. Right in the middle of the living room floor, he laid me down, then tasted me until I exploded all over him. Afterward, I was too exhausted to move so I lay there and drifted off to sleep.
Kevon didn’t let me sleep for long though. He started to stroke my back softly. While I had not enjoyed the fight we’d had, the makeup was more than worth it. Turning over to face him, I climbed on top and rode him like he was a stallion.
* * *
The constant repeat of the Rick Ross song that was coming from Kevon’s cell phone was annoying the hell out of me. Slowly opening my eyes, I realized we were still in the living room on the floor, where we had fallen asleep. This time of day, he was normally out handling business. So it was probably someone from Cash checking up on him. Either way, the ringing was disturbing my sleep.
“Babe.” I shook him lightly. Sleeping well, he didn’t budge. “Kevon!” I yelled his name this time.
He started to stir. “Hmmm?” He opened his eyes.
“Your phone keeps ringing.”
He sat up slowly and crawled over to the couch. Picking up his iPhone, he gazed at the screen before answering. And, just like that, the streets were calling. Not long after hanging up, he informed me he had to leave because it was re-up time. After a quick shower, he was out. I was tired and hungry so, after also taking a hot shower, I ordered up some Chinese takeout and grabbed the remote to watch a movie and relax for the rest of the evening. After watching two good movies, I fell asleep. The next morning, I woke up feeling refreshed.
St. Louis was looking good outside when I pulled back the curtains. Rifling through my closet for something to wear, I found an outfit and got dressed. Starbucks was my first stop of the day. Coffee would give me life so that I could be on top of my game.
“Hello,” I answered the phone after taking my fist sip of chocolate goodness. It was Caesar. He had been worried about me since he had not heard from me for a couple days. After I assured him that everything was cool, he invited me out to his crib in the country. And I was happy to go because, honestly, I enjoyed his company and the sex. Needless to say, I missed him. I tried hard to fight that truth, but it was becoming harder and harder. But this was something else that I had to keep to myself. It wasn’t like I could share it with Mimi.
“Hey, sexy lady,” Caesar greeted me when he opened the door. Towering over me, he reached down and gave me a big hug.
Grabbing his face, I tongued-kissed him long and hard. Like I said, it was part of the role that Kevon had me playing. But, shamefully, I enjoyed it.
“Damn, I guess you missed me too.” He smiled after coming up for air.
“You guessed right.” I looked him up and down, trying hard to fight the attraction, but he was lookin’ fine as hell. I thought more and more of Kevon’s accusations, and that he was right. But it was his fault for putting me in this situation.
Caesar softly grabbed both my hands. “Vegas wore you out, huh? My intentions were for you to enjoy yourself, not run off,” he joked.
“I didn’t run off.” I laughed. “But I enjoyed myself so much a little rest was needed.”
Leon interrupted so that he could serve us drinks. He handed me a margarita that he had prepared special for me. He was so used to me coming over that he had learned my drink of choice by heart.
“We should travel more. I would never get tired of that,” I suggested, then sipped my drink.
“If that’s what you want, then you got it.” Caesar winked at me. “Let’s go sit out by the pool.” I followed as he led the way. Suddenly, he stopped walking and spun around, wearing a sexy smile. “Why don’t you go to my room and change?”
Glancing down at myself, I confirmed that my look was indeed on fleek. So this was a surprise question. “Change?” I asked. “Is something wrong with what I have on?”
He smiled. “I’ll be out by the pool when you’re done.”
That was not the answer I was looking for.
Sipping on my margarita again, I gave him the benefit of the doubt before heading off to his room. Minutes later, I opened the big doors to his room to find the cutest two-piece Louis Vuitton bathing suit I had ever laid eyes on. He was definitely learning my taste. It was probably the same bathing suit I would have picked myself. A few more sips of my margarita, and I was sliding into my bathing suit, feeling good.
Out by the pool, Caesar sat patiently, holding his glass of Hennessey, as I modeled the Louis Vuitton bathing suit around the pool.
“You like?” I strutted, spinning around so he could see every inch of me.
“You don’t have any idea how much. Yazz, you are a dime, baby.” His eyes glistened.
Giving him a huge grin, I dove into the pool. He sat back and watched me dip and dive in the water like a fish. The water felt so good against my skin. Climbing out of the pool, I felt born again. Grubbing on steamed shrimp, chicken breast strips sautéed in teriyaki sauce, broccoli, and grilled fish, I was having a good time. Afterwards, I was full and ready to put on some pj’s and relax.
Sitting on the couch, cuddled in Caesar’s arms, I could feel sleep claiming me, but it was already like one o’clock in the morning. “I got a long drive so I’ma get going.” I yawned as I tried to sit up, but Caesar held on tight.
I knew the words before he uttered them. “Why you gotta leave? I want you to spend the night.” His soft lips brushed my neck, and it felt so good. Shit. Fight it. I almost screamed.
“You know I can’t.”
“Yes, you can. Just do it.” Those lips brushed my neck again, and that was it. I had to have him.
“Okay, let me call Kevon. I’ll tell him I’ma stay over at Mimi’s house tonight to help with the baby. He’ll understand. It should be cool.” Cell phone in hand, I went outside for privacy. Inside my car, I dialed Kevon.
He answered on the fourth ring. “What’s u
p, babe?”
“Nothin’, just filling my obligations. Look, Caesar’s asking me to stay over. And he really wants this to happen.”
The line was quiet for a minute. Kevon sighed. “A’ight, just do it. We want to keep him happy, right? It’s a part of the plan.”
“Are you sure, babe? I just want you to be cool. It’s whatever you need me to do.”
“It’s all good. We gon’ take this shit for the team. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Ending the call, I headed back inside, ready for whateva. And true to it, Caesar gave me that and more. By morning, I was super sleepy and exhausted, but I knew Kevon would be waiting on me. Jumping in a hot bubble bath, I soaked all of my strained muscles, got dressed, kissed Caesar, and was out.
CHAPTER 15
“You drink coffee now?”
Gripping my Starbucks cup tightly to my chest, I stopped in mid step. Had she been any closer, I would have stepped directly on her feet. I tried to think fast, desperately seeking a clear exit, but there was no way to run. I was trapped.
“Can you step back, Ruthie?” I grunted.
“Do you have to be so rude? I am your mother, Yazz.” That was a shocking statement. Never in my life had she referred to herself as that.
“So is that what you call yourself these days?” I sneered. “Move out of my way, Ruthie.” I ordered her again, but she didn’t budge. This time, I took a step around her.
“Yazz,” she called.
I maneuvered my way around two people swiftly as they attempted to get to the counter in the Starbucks line. I wouldn’t have stopped, but her voice sounded like a cry. Something else I was not used to hearing from Ruthie.
She was in my face in no time. “Can we chat for just a minute?”
Gazing around the room, I decided there were too many people inside and their eyes were watching us. I felt as if I were guilty of something. “Outside,” I replied. In the parking lot, I faced her, waiting to hear what she had to say.